Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

hoboken young adult counseling

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The 5 Best Spots to WFH in Hoboken

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The 5 Best Spots to WFH in Hoboken

Working from home has its perks- no commute, cozy clothes, and your favorite coffee just steps away. But spending all day in the same space can start to blur the lines between work and rest which can take a toll on your mental health. Changing your environment, even just for a few hours, can boost focus, creativity, and emotional well-being. For many people, a simple shift to a different setting, especially one with natural light and a bit of buzz, can make the workday feel lighter and more balanced.

At Anchor Therapy, our mental health counselors know that taking care of your mind means finding small ways to refresh your routine. Hoboken offers plenty of welcoming spots that are perfect for working remotely, from cozy coffee shops to peaceful parks with Wi-Fi. Whether you are looking to power through emails or simply reconnect with your surroundings, here are some of the best spots in Hoboken to work from home without actually staying home.

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Which Type of Insomnia Do You Have?

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Which Type of Insomnia Do You Have?

Struggling to sleep is not just frustrating- it can take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. But what many people do not realize is that insomnia is not a one-size-fits-all problem. There are different types, each with its own causes, patterns, and psychological impact. Some people cannot fall asleep no matter how exhausted they are, while others wake up at 2 or 3 a.m. and cannot get back to sleep. Understanding the type of insomnia you are experiencing is the first step toward getting the right kind of support.

At Anchor Therapy, our sleep anxiety counselors often see clients who have been battling insomnia for months or even years without knowing there is more than one way it can present. Knowing whether your insomnia is acute, chronic, sleep-onset, or sleep-maintenance related can help guide treatment options, whether that is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), trauma-focused care, or stress management techniques. In this blog, we will break down the common types of insomnia and explain why identifying your specific sleep pattern is so important for finding relief that lasts.

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

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What Is Claustrophobia Caused By?

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What Is Claustrophobia Caused By?

Claustrophobia, the intense fear of confined or enclosed spaces, affects millions of people worldwide and can trigger panic attacks, anxiety, and even physical symptoms like sweating or rapid heartbeat. Check out our blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” But what actually causes this fear to take hold? While every individual’s experience is unique, experts believe claustrophobia often stems from a combination of genetic, psychological, and environmental factors. Some people may be more biologically prone to anxiety disorders, while others might develop the fear after a traumatic event, such as being trapped in a small space or experiencing a frightening situation in childhood.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in eight adults may have this phobia or roughly 12.5% of the adult population in the United States. In many cases, claustrophobia develops early in life and becomes more pronounced over time. The brain's fear response can become overly sensitive, reacting strongly even in mildly enclosed spaces like elevators or crowded rooms. Learned behavior may also play a role- if a person witnesses someone else showing fear in a confined space, they may internalize that response themselves. Ultimately, understanding the root causes of claustrophobia is the first step toward managing it, whether through working with a phobia counselor at Anchor Therapy, exposure techniques, or self-guided strategies to reduce anxiety.

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What Are Signs of the Fawning Response?

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What Are Signs of the Fawning Response?

When we talk about trauma responses, most people are familiar with fight, flight, or freeze. But there is another lesser-known reaction called fawning- a survival mechanism where a person seeks to appease others to avoid conflict, criticism, or harm. This often looks like people-pleasing, over-apologizing, or abandoning personal needs in order to maintain peace or feel safe. While it may appear as kindness or agreeableness on the surface, fawning can be a deep-rooted response to past emotional or relational trauma.

Recognizing the signs of a fawning response is essential for anyone working on setting healthier boundaries or healing from trauma. From difficulty saying “no” to constantly anticipating others’ needs, the behaviors linked to fawning often go unnoticed because they are socially rewarded. In this post, we will explore the key indicators of the fawning response, why it develops, and how awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your authentic self.

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Top 8 Career Choices for People with ADHD

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Top 8 Career Choices for People with ADHD

Finding the right career can be especially important and empowering for someone with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). While traditional work environments may present challenges like long meetings, rigid routines, or repetitive tasks, individuals with ADHD often thrive in roles that are fast-paced, creative, varied, and allow for a level of independence. Research shows that 15.5 million adults in the United States have ADHD. The key is identifying a job that plays to your strengths, such as high energy, problem-solving skills, creativity, and the ability to think outside the box.

People with ADHD tend to do best in careers that offer stimulation, flexibility, and purpose. Whether it is a high-energy environment like emergency services, a creative role in design or media, or a hands-on job like entrepreneurship or skilled trades, the most fulfilling career will align with your natural interests and abilities. In this blog, we will explore ADHD-friendly career paths, what traits to look for in a job, and how to set yourself up for long-term success without sacrificing your mental well-being.

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

Love Island has become a cultural phenomenon, captivating people with its sun-filled villas and dramatic love stories. However, behind the glitz and glamour, there lies a darker reality: the intense pressure to embody perfection. Contestants are thrust into a world where their looks, personalities, and relationships are constantly scrutinized by both viewers and social media, creating an environment where self-worth is often measured by external validation. This constant spotlight can be mentally and emotionally taxing, especially for those who enter the villa seeking love and personal growth only to be met with the opposite experience of overwhelming expectations.

In this blog, we will explore how the quest for "perfection" on Love Island not only affects the mental health of contestants but also influences viewers. The narrative of flawless beauty, drama-filled romances, and constant competition perpetuates unrealistic ideals, raising important questions about body image, self-esteem, and the psychological toll of living up to society’s standards. Through this lens, we will dive deeper into the pressures of reality TV and examine how they contribute to an ongoing conversation about mental health in the entertainment industry.

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

In recent years, cannabis, also known as weed, has moved from the edge of legality and social acceptance to a mainstream topic of conversation with growing support for its medicinal and recreational use. As laws change and public perception shifts, so too does the conversation around its effects, particularly when it comes to mental health. While some users report feelings of relaxation, reduced anxiety, or even enhanced creativity, research paints a more complex picture. Research shows that, in 2023, approximately 61.8 million people used marijuana. Many people may still ask: how bad is weed for mental health, really?

For many people, occasional or moderate cannabis use may not cause significant psychological harm. However, studies increasingly suggest that frequent or high-potency use, especially among young people or those with a family history of mental illness, can be linked to heightened risks of anxiety, depression, and even psychosis. As cannabis becomes more potent and accessible, it is important to examine the real risks and eliminate the myths. In this blog, we will break down what the science says, who may be most at risk, and how cannabis use might interact with mental health conditions.

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What Is My Parenting Style?

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What Is My Parenting Style?

Positive parenting can go a long way in building an emotionally healthy life for your child. Your parenting style can impact very important aspects of your child’s life, from their self-esteem to their ability to succeed in a scholastic environment. The way you interact with your child and discipline your child will have an influence on them for the rest of their lives!


Oftentimes, many parents want to know what parenting style they are using and which is the best parenting style overall. In all honesty, there is no one “right” way to parent- there is no universal code that all families should know. Deciding how to raise a child is a concern that all parents grapple with at one point or another. Whether you are raising a child all on your own or with the help of a significant other, many parents just want the best for their kid which can trigger a lot of anxiety over which parenting style to choose. Parenting styles can vary from person-to-person but researchers have narrowed parenting styles down into four distinct categories generally speaking.

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

Climate change anxiety, often referred to as "eco-anxiety," is becoming more prevalent as the effects of global warming continue to intensify. Many people, especially younger generations, feel overwhelmed by the growing threats of rising temperatures, extreme weather events, and environmental degradation. This sense of helplessness can lead to stress, fear, and uncertainty about the future. While it is natural to be concerned about the state of the planet, it is crucial to find ways to manage these feelings in order to stay motivated and proactive in addressing the climate crisis.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to overcome climate change anxiety and regain a sense of agency. By shifting focus from feelings of helplessness to actions we can take, we can foster hope and resilience in the face of environmental challenges. Whether it is through personal lifestyle changes, connecting with others, or engaging in advocacy, these strategies will help you manage anxiety and feel empowered to contribute to positive change. Understanding that small actions matter and that collective efforts can lead to meaningful impact is key to navigating eco-anxiety in a healthy, productive way!

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

Napping has long been viewed as a luxury or a habit reserved for the lazy, but recent research suggests that naps can actually be a powerful tool for improving mental health! In our busy, often sleep-deprived world, short naps have become an easy, accessible way to combat fatigue and enhance cognitive performance. When used wisely, naps can help boost mood, increase alertness, and provide a mental reset, making it easier to stay focused and tackle tasks with greater efficiency. Far from being a sign of laziness, taking time for a nap can be an essential practice for maintaining mental well-being in a demanding world.


The benefits of napping go beyond just feeling more awake. Regular naps can reduce stress, improve memory, and even lower the risk of developing anxiety or depression. With the rise of burnout and mental exhaustion, taking short breaks throughout the day, such as a quick nap, has been shown to be an effective way to recharge and maintain emotional balance. In this blog, we will explore the science behind napping and how incorporating this simple habit into your routine can have lasting positive effects on your mental health.

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

In today’s hyperconnected world, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily routines. They offer a constant stream of content, instant communication, and the ability to stay in touch with friends, trends, and news from around the world. However, as our screen time increases, so do concerns about its impact on mental health, particularly depression. More people, especially teens and young adults, report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety after prolonged exposure to curated online lives and unrealistic standards of success or beauty.

While social media can foster a sense of community, validation, and self-expression, it can also fuel harmful cycles of comparison, cyberbullying, and information overload. The contrast between someone’s highlight reel and one’s real life can leave users feeling inadequate or isolated. Researchers and mental health professionals are actively studying the relationship between social media use and depressive symptoms, raising important questions about how these platforms might influence our emotional well-being in both positive and negative ways.

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

Dealing with behavioral issues in school can be challenging for both children and parents alike. Whether it is trouble focusing, acting out, or having difficulty following instructions, these behaviors can disrupt a child's learning and social development. As a parent, it is essential to understand that these challenges are often linked to underlying emotional or developmental factors. Instead of focusing on punishment, finding supportive, proactive strategies can help your child improve their behavior and feel more confident in their school environment.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to help your child navigate behavioral issues at school. From open communication with teachers to setting consistent routines at home, these strategies are designed to empower both parents and children. By taking a compassionate and solution-oriented approach, you can create a positive environment that supports your child’s growth and success, both academically and socially!

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Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety

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Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can be an overwhelming and isolating experience, causing individuals to avoid situations that may trigger feelings of nervousness, embarrassment, or self-consciousness. Fortunately, one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety is exposure therapy. This therapeutic approach involves gradually and systematically exposing yourself to social situations in a controlled and supportive environment, helping you confront your fears without avoidance. Over time, this process helps to reduce anxiety, build confidence, and challenge the negative thought patterns that fuel social fears.


Exposure therapy works by allowing individuals to face their anxieties step by step, starting with less intimidating situations and slowly progressing to more challenging scenarios. This gradual exposure helps desensitize the individual to the feared stimuli, ultimately allowing them to experience social interactions without feeling overwhelmed. By practicing in real-world contexts, individuals can reframe their perceptions of social situations and learn that their fears are often exaggerated. Through consistent exposure and the guidance of a trained social anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, individuals with social anxiety can build the tools needed to navigate social environments with greater ease and comfort.

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Everything You Need to Know about CBT for Postpartum Depression

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Everything You Need to Know about CBT for Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression, simply referred to as PPD, is a serious mental health condition that affects many new mothers, often leaving them feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and uncertain. The arrival of a newborn is typically a time of joy, but the emotional and psychological toll of this major life transition can be significant. Luckily, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is an evidence-based treatment that has been proven to be a highly effective treatment for PPD. CBT for PPD offers new mothers tools to manage their mental health symptoms, challenge negative thought patterns, and construct healthier coping skills. Whether you are struggling with PPD yourself or know someone who is struggling, understanding how CBT works can make a big difference in the journey towards healing.


In this blog, we will dive into everything you need to know about CBT for PPD. You will learn how CBT targets the root causes of depression, its benefits, and how it can be integrated into your mental health treatment plan. If you are ready to learn more about how CBT can help ease the challenges of PPD, keep reading!

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is a common struggle many people face, often turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, sadness, or even boredom. Instead of eating out of hunger, emotional eating involves using food as a source of comfort which can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices. This cycle can be difficult to break, especially when food provides temporary relief from overwhelming emotions. However, recognizing the pattern is the first step toward gaining control and developing healthier habits!


Overcoming emotional eating requires a combination of mindfulness, emotional awareness, and practical strategies. By understanding the emotional triggers behind your cravings and finding alternative ways to address them, you can build a healthier relationship with food. In this blog, we will explore six effective strategies to help you break free from emotional eating, regain control of your eating habits, and foster a more balanced and mindful approach to food.

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The Psychological Truth About Birth Order

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The Psychological Truth About Birth Order

Birth order has long been a topic of fascination with many believing that where you fall in your family can shape who you become. From the responsible firstborn to the free-spirited youngest, the roles siblings play within their families may impact their personality, behavior, and even career choices. While the science behind birth order theory has evolved, the idea that your position in the family hierarchy influences your development remains compelling to many psychotherapists and parents alike!


Understanding the psychological truth about birth order can provide valuable insight into why we act the way we do, not just as children, but as adults navigating relationships, work, and personal growth. While no two families are alike and the theory is far from being set in stone, there are clear patterns that suggest birth order might shape our core traits. This blog will delve into the fascinating ways our birth position might shape our outlook on life and why those dynamics are still worth considering in modern times.

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

Hoboken, New Jersey is a vibrant city known for its waterfront views, bustling streets, and tight-knit community. However, like any urban area, it is not immune to crises- whether it is flooding from heavy storms, power outages, or public transit disruptions. Being prepared and knowing how to navigate emergencies can make all the difference in staying safe and minimizing the impact on your daily life. By staying informed, planning ahead, and tapping into local resources, Hoboken residents can confidently handle unexpected challenges.


From emergency alerts to evacuation routes, having a solid plan in place is crucial. Hoboken’s geography makes it particularly susceptible to flooding and, with its dense population, transit delays and power outages can quickly escalate into major disruptions. In recent years, the community has also endured deeply unsettling events, including multiple building lockdowns due to active threats requiring SWAT intervention, as well as a frightening school incident where a student threatened violence, forcing children and parents to endure repeated lockdowns. In this guide, we will cover five essential ways to stay ahead of potential crises, ensuring that you and your loved ones remain safe and mentally resilient no matter what comes your way.

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What Is It Like Being The Golden Child?

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What Is It Like Being The Golden Child?

If you are the golden child in your family, chances are that you feel like you are living in a spotlight- always praised, always expected to succeed, and often held up as the example for others to follow, especially siblings. Parents, teachers, and even extended family members may shower you with admiration, reinforcing a sense of confidence and achievement. To learn more about your sense of self-confidence, check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.” Knowing that your accomplishments are met with pride and celebration can be very validating and keep you in a loop of wanting to seek constant approval from other people. At times, you may even feel like you can do no wrong in the eyes of others. You may find that your mistakes are overlooked or easily forgiven. 


However, the role of the golden child is not always as perfect as it seems. The pressure to maintain high expectations can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety, imposter syndrome, or fear of failure. You might feel like your worth is tied solely to your achievements, making it difficult to express vulnerability or make mistakes without disappointing others. Additionally, relationships with siblings can be strained as they may resent the preferential treatment you receive. Being the golden child can be both a privilege and a burden, shaping your self-worth and family dynamics in ways that are not always obvious at first glance. If you resonate with being a golden child, keep reading this blog.

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