Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

How can I work with a couples counselor in Hoboken

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

Relationships thrive on emotional connection, yet many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional distance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples offers a research-based approach that helps partners move beyond surface arguments to understand the deeper emotions and attachment needs driving their interactions. Instead of focusing solely on communication techniques, EFT works to strengthen the emotional bond between partners which helps you and your partner feel safer, more supported, and more understood in the relationship.

Through guided conversations and structured interventions, EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns and replace them with healthier ways of responding to each other. As partners learn to express vulnerable emotions and respond with empathy rather than defensiveness, trust and closeness can gradually be rebuilt. The goal of EFT is not just resolving conflicts, but creating a secure emotional connection that allows couples to face challenges together with greater resilience and intimacy.

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6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

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6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is often misunderstood, and many of the ideas floating around about it are more myth than reality. From assumptions that ENM relationships are inherently unstable to the belief that jealousy makes them impossible, misconceptions can create unnecessary fear or judgment for those exploring this relationship style. These myths not only misrepresent the experiences of people in ENM but also make it harder for newcomers to approach it with confidence and clarity. Understanding what ENM truly is and what it is not is the first step in challenging these misconceptions!

In reality, ENM relationships come in many forms, from open relationships to polyamory, and can be deeply fulfilling when approached ethically and intentionally. Just like any other relationship, success in ENM depends on communication, trust, and respect- not on rigid societal norms about monogamy. By examining the most common myths and setting the record straight, this blog aims to shed light on how ENM works in practice, offering a clearer, more accurate perspective for anyone curious about exploring alternative ways of loving.

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How Couples Can Navigate Pregnancy Stress Together with Therapy

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How Couples Can Navigate Pregnancy Stress Together with Therapy

Pregnancy is often portrayed as a joyful and exciting time, but for many couples, it can also bring unexpected stress, anxiety, and emotional challenges. Hormonal changes, physical discomfort, financial pressures, and the anticipation of becoming parents can create tension, misunderstandings, or even feelings of isolation within a relationship. These stressors are natural, but if left unaddressed, they can affect communication, intimacy, and overall emotional well-being for both partners.

Working with a couples counselor here at Anchor Therapy offers you and your partner a structured, supportive space to navigate these challenges together. Through perinatal or couples therapy, partners can learn effective communication strategies, manage anxiety, and develop shared coping skills to handle the unique pressures of pregnancy. It is not just about resolving conflict, it is about strengthening connection, fostering mutual understanding, and preparing both partners emotionally for the transition into parenthood. By addressing stress as a team, couples can create a healthier, more resilient foundation for their growing family.

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

The #1 thing that destroys marriages is not always dramatic as it is often something that quietly erodes the bond over time: a breakdown in communication. When couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, small misunderstandings turn into major resentments. Conversations become arguments, emotional distance grows, and partners begin to feel unheard or unloved. Without open, honest, and empathetic communication, even the strongest relationships can start to crumble.

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every successful marriage. It is what allows couples to navigate conflict, share dreams, express needs, and maintain emotional intimacy. When that connection fades, partners can drift apart, not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped understanding each other. Recognizing the signs of poor communication and making intentional efforts to rebuild it can mean the difference between a relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

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What Does Premarital Counseling Consist Of?

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What Does Premarital Counseling Consist Of?

Premarital counseling is a form of therapy designed to help couples prepare for marriage by fostering open communication, addressing potential areas of conflict, and aligning on core values and expectations. At Anchor Therapy, the goal of our couples counselors is to equip couples with the tools they need to build a strong, lasting partnership. Sessions often include guided conversations around topics like finances, intimacy, family planning, career goals, and conflict resolution.


Premarital counseling is more than just a checklist of marital “must-dos,” it provides a safe space to explore each person’s background, beliefs, and hopes for the future. It encourages couples to confront differences early and collaboratively which reduces the risk of future misunderstandings. For many, this experience not only strengthens their bond but also lays a foundation of trust, empathy, and mutual respect that supports a healthy marriage from day one!

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What Is A Situationship?

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What Is A Situationship?

In today's dating landscape, the lines between friendship and romance are often blurred, giving rise to a relationship status that is confusing and increasingly common: the situationship. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships lack clear labels, boundaries, or expectations yet they often involve emotional intimacy, physical connection, and the routines of a romantic partnership. You might find yourself texting every day, going on dates, and even meeting each other's friends without ever having “the talk” or being exclusive. And while that ambiguity might seem freeing at first, it can quickly become a source of stress and uncertainty depending on your personality and relationship goals. 

This blog explores the emotional gray area of situationships- why people enter them, what they offer, and when they might start doing more harm than good. Whether you are currently in one, just got out of one and healing, or are trying to make sense of someone else’s, this space is for unpacking the messy middle ground of modern relationships. Because sometimes, the most complicated relationships are the ones that were never officially defined!

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What To Do When In An Unhappy Marriage

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What To Do When In An Unhappy Marriage

Marriage can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of life, but when it starts to feel more like a source of stress and unhappiness, it can be difficult to know where to turn. If you are in an unhappy marriage, you are not alone—many couples experience periods of disconnection or frustration. In fact, research shows that approximately 14% of couples are unhappy in their marriage. Acknowledging the problem is the first step toward finding a solution. Whether it is through communication, couples counseling, or self-reflection, there are ways to navigate these tough moments and make meaningful changes.


It is important to remember that no marriage is perfect, and challenges are a natural part of any relationship. However, when unhappiness lingers, it is crucial to take proactive steps to address the root causes. By approaching the situation with empathy, patience, and an open mind, couples can often find ways to rebuild trust, improve communication, and rekindle the connection that brought them together in the first place.

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

Long-distance relationships can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they offer space for individual growth, and on the other, they come with unique emotional challenges that can take a toll on mental health. Research shows that 60% of long-distance relationships are considered successful in the long run. 


With that being said, couples who are physically separated often face feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and uncertainty. If your communication is not consistent or healthy, these emotions can be exacerbated. So, how can long-distance couples navigate these hurdles? Is it truly possible for long-distance relationships to thrive? In this blog post, we will dive into the different aspects of long-distance relationships, including what can make them work and what can cause them to fail.


Trust, clear communication, and a shared vision for the future are all essential components of a healthy, successful long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance between connection and independence. Luckily, there are many mental health strategies that can help you and your partner maintain a strong bond while also caring for one another’s emotional well-being. From coping mechanisms to relationship-building tips, you can learn to make the distance work for you and not against you.

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The Stages of Affair Recovery

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The Stages of Affair Recovery

Infidelity is a very challenging obstacle that many couples face. From the emotional turmoil that results from the breach of trust to lingering questions that can trigger anxiety, many couples in this situation are unsure of how to move forward. Despite the immense pain of infidelity, many couples look to rebuild their relationship, showcasing a lot of resilience in the process. In fact, research has shown that roughly 60 to 75% of couples decide to stay together after infidelity. This success rate may be even higher if couples decide to seek the professional support of a couples counselor.

Affair recovery in a couples counseling setting offers a structured, supportive setting for partners to navigate this difficult journey together. Contrary to popular belief, addressing the betrayal is just one small part of the couples therapy journey at Anchor Therapy. It is about getting to the root cause of presenting issues, truly understanding the impact of the infidelity, rebuilding trust, and creating a deeper emotional connection.

In this blog, you will discover how affair recovery counseling can guide you and your significant other through the healing process. From pinpointing underlying concerns to creating an avenue for open communication, you can redefine your relationship with the help of specific tools and strategies so you can grow stronger together.  Whether you are looking for some hope or are ready to dive into the complexities of your relationship, you have come to the right place!

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What To Do If You Are Unhappy In Your Marriage

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What To Do If You Are Unhappy In Your Marriage

Any relationship is a partnership built on love, trust, and shared dreams, but this can especially be true for a marriage. Even if you feel like you and your spouse’s relationship is a very strong one, rough patches can occur which may leave one or both of you feeling unsatisfied or disconnected. If you are experiencing unhappiness in your marriage, you may feel stuck or unsure of where to turn to next. If you are struggling with this, please understand that you are not alone. In fact, a journalist conducted a study and revealed that six out of 10 couples are unhappily coupled. Acknowledging that something is off in your relationship is the first step towards working to a point of solution.


Being unhappy in your marriage does not mean that divorce is impending- it is just a signal that something needs a little extra attention in your romantic connection, whether it is different communication styles or intimacy issues. Through effect and the professional support of a couples counselor at Anchor Therapy, you can address the issues in your marriage and build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

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