Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

anxiety

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

If you have ever felt stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by emotions, or unsure how to move forward despite your best efforts, you are not alone and there is a therapy designed with that exact struggle in mind! Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present, even when things feel hard, and to take meaningful action guided by your values. Rather than trying to “fix” your thoughts or feelings, ACT teaches you how to relate to them differently, so they no longer control your life.


But how do you know if ACT is the right fit for you? Whether you are facing anxiety, depression, chronic stress, or simply feeling lost or disconnected, ACT offers a powerful framework for change that is backed by decades of research. This blog will help you understand what ACT really involves, who it works best for, and how it might support your personal growth and healing so you can make an informed, empowered decision about your mental health journey.

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

In recent years, online therapy has moved from a niche service to a mainstream mental health resource, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic that  heightened both the demand for therapy and the need for accessible care! But for those dealing with the deep and complex wounds of trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a common question arises: Can healing really happen through a screen? This blog explores the effectiveness of online psychotherapy for trauma-related conditions, separating fact from myth and offering insights grounded into virtual therapy at Anchor Therapy.


Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or transitioning from in-person sessions, understanding how online formats support trauma recovery is essential. We will look at the science behind virtual trauma treatments, including Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and somatic approaches. After reading this blog, you will feel empowered with the information you need to make the right choice for your mental health journey.

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

In recent years, cannabis, also known as weed, has moved from the edge of legality and social acceptance to a mainstream topic of conversation with growing support for its medicinal and recreational use. As laws change and public perception shifts, so too does the conversation around its effects, particularly when it comes to mental health. While some users report feelings of relaxation, reduced anxiety, or even enhanced creativity, research paints a more complex picture. Research shows that, in 2023, approximately 61.8 million people used marijuana. Many people may still ask: how bad is weed for mental health, really?

For many people, occasional or moderate cannabis use may not cause significant psychological harm. However, studies increasingly suggest that frequent or high-potency use, especially among young people or those with a family history of mental illness, can be linked to heightened risks of anxiety, depression, and even psychosis. As cannabis becomes more potent and accessible, it is important to examine the real risks and eliminate the myths. In this blog, we will break down what the science says, who may be most at risk, and how cannabis use might interact with mental health conditions.

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

Climate change anxiety, often referred to as "eco-anxiety," is becoming more prevalent as the effects of global warming continue to intensify. Many people, especially younger generations, feel overwhelmed by the growing threats of rising temperatures, extreme weather events, and environmental degradation. This sense of helplessness can lead to stress, fear, and uncertainty about the future. While it is natural to be concerned about the state of the planet, it is crucial to find ways to manage these feelings in order to stay motivated and proactive in addressing the climate crisis.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to overcome climate change anxiety and regain a sense of agency. By shifting focus from feelings of helplessness to actions we can take, we can foster hope and resilience in the face of environmental challenges. Whether it is through personal lifestyle changes, connecting with others, or engaging in advocacy, these strategies will help you manage anxiety and feel empowered to contribute to positive change. Understanding that small actions matter and that collective efforts can lead to meaningful impact is key to navigating eco-anxiety in a healthy, productive way!

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

Personal growth goes beyond merely achieving your goals- it is all about changing how you think, feel, and respond to the challenges that life throws your way. One powerful therapeutic tool that can be used for personal transformation is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT is a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that was developed by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis. REBT helps you realize that your beliefs, not external events, are the real source of your emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts, you can create long-lasting emotional and behavioral change.


In this blog post, we will explore five practical ways REBT can help you grow whether you are looking for improved emotional control, better relationships, or a stronger sense of self. When you learn to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that hold you back, you can replace them with rational, empowering thoughts that support your personal growth journey. Let us dive into how REBT can help you become a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself!

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What Is A Situationship?

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What Is A Situationship?

In today's dating landscape, the lines between friendship and romance are often blurred, giving rise to a relationship status that is confusing and increasingly common: the situationship. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships lack clear labels, boundaries, or expectations yet they often involve emotional intimacy, physical connection, and the routines of a romantic partnership. You might find yourself texting every day, going on dates, and even meeting each other's friends without ever having “the talk” or being exclusive. And while that ambiguity might seem freeing at first, it can quickly become a source of stress and uncertainty depending on your personality and relationship goals. 

This blog explores the emotional gray area of situationships- why people enter them, what they offer, and when they might start doing more harm than good. Whether you are currently in one, just got out of one and healing, or are trying to make sense of someone else’s, this space is for unpacking the messy middle ground of modern relationships. Because sometimes, the most complicated relationships are the ones that were never officially defined!

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Career Counseling for Reentering the Workforce

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Career Counseling for Reentering the Workforce

Taking the step to reenter the workforce after a career break- whether due to parenting, caregiving, illness, or other life transitions- can feel both exciting and overwhelming. Many individuals face questions about how their skills measure up in today’s job market, how to explain gaps in their resumes, and whether they are truly ready- emotionally and professionally- to dive back in. That is where career counseling, especially when rooted in mental health support, plays a powerful role. It is not just about polishing a resume; it is about rebuilding confidence, clarifying goals, and creating a plan that honors both your professional aspirations and personal well-being. For more information, check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.” 

At Anchor Therapy, our career counselors understand that returning to work is not just a career decision- it is a life transition. Research indicates that 74% of individuals who take a career break end up rejoining the workforce. Our career counseling services are designed to help you navigate this journey with clarity and resilience. Whether you are exploring a new path or returning to a familiar field, we provide guidance that integrates practical job-search strategies with emotional support, helping you reenter the workforce on your own terms.

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

In today’s hyperconnected world, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily routines. They offer a constant stream of content, instant communication, and the ability to stay in touch with friends, trends, and news from around the world. However, as our screen time increases, so do concerns about its impact on mental health, particularly depression. More people, especially teens and young adults, report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety after prolonged exposure to curated online lives and unrealistic standards of success or beauty.

While social media can foster a sense of community, validation, and self-expression, it can also fuel harmful cycles of comparison, cyberbullying, and information overload. The contrast between someone’s highlight reel and one’s real life can leave users feeling inadequate or isolated. Researchers and mental health professionals are actively studying the relationship between social media use and depressive symptoms, raising important questions about how these platforms might influence our emotional well-being in both positive and negative ways.

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5 Ways to Fix Stress-Induced Insomnia

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5 Ways to Fix Stress-Induced Insomnia

Stress and sleep have a complicated relationship- one that many of us know all too well! When life feels overwhelming, our minds do not always get the memo that it is time to wind down. Instead of drifting into peaceful slumber, we lie awake with racing thoughts, tense bodies, and a growing sense of frustration. Stress-induced insomnia can start as the occasional restless night, but over time it can spiral into a cycle of chronic sleeplessness that impacts every area of life, from focus and productivity to mood and overall health. Luckily, you are not powerless in the face of stress or sleepless nights. Understanding the connection between the two is the first step toward breaking that cycle.


In this post, we will walk through five practical and effective ways to address stress-induced insomnia. These strategies are not just about getting more sleep- they are about improving the quality of your rest by calming your nervous system and creating a more sleep-friendly mindset and environment. Whether you are someone who struggles to fall asleep, wakes up frequently through the night, or dread bedtime because of the stress it seems to bring, these techniques are designed to meet you where you are. From nighttime rituals and breathing exercises to simple lifestyle shifts, each method offers a realistic path toward more restful nights and more energized days.

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Can You Grieve Before Someone Dies?

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Can You Grieve Before Someone Dies?

Grief is often thought of as something that begins after a loss, a shadow that remains after a loved one passes. But for many, the grieving process starts long before a final goodbye. Whether it is a terminal diagnosis, a slow decline from a disease, or the fading of someone you love due to emotional or physical distance, anticipatory grief can hit just as hard (sometimes even harder) than the mourning that comes later. It is a quiet, complex sorrow, often misunderstood or left unspoken, that lives in the space between hope and reality.

Anticipatory grief challenges the way we think about loss. It is not just sadness- it is fear, guilt, helplessness, and even moments of clarity and gratitude all tangled together. You might find yourself grieving memories that have not yet been made, or mourning a relationship that is changing rapidly right before your eyes. In this blog post, we will explore what anticipatory grief really feels like, why it happens, and how to navigate it with compassion for yourself and others.

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Everything You Need to Know about CBT for Postpartum Depression

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Everything You Need to Know about CBT for Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression, simply referred to as PPD, is a serious mental health condition that affects many new mothers, often leaving them feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and uncertain. The arrival of a newborn is typically a time of joy, but the emotional and psychological toll of this major life transition can be significant. Luckily, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is an evidence-based treatment that has been proven to be a highly effective treatment for PPD. CBT for PPD offers new mothers tools to manage their mental health symptoms, challenge negative thought patterns, and construct healthier coping skills. Whether you are struggling with PPD yourself or know someone who is struggling, understanding how CBT works can make a big difference in the journey towards healing.


In this blog, we will dive into everything you need to know about CBT for PPD. You will learn how CBT targets the root causes of depression, its benefits, and how it can be integrated into your mental health treatment plan. If you are ready to learn more about how CBT can help ease the challenges of PPD, keep reading!

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EMDR In A Nutshell

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EMDR In A Nutshell

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique designed to help you  process and heal from traumatic experiences. It was developed in the late 1980s by Francine Shapiro and has since become a widely recognized treatment for trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation, often through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories. This process helps you reframe negative thoughts and emotions associated with traumatic events, allowing you to experience relief and healing.


Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR focuses on processing the memories that contribute to emotional distress rather than simply discussing them. Therefore, EMDR is a somatic therapy, or a body-centered type of counseling. The therapy is conducted in a structured format, where your EMDR therapist at Anchor Therapy guides you through different stages, including identifying distressing memories, targeting specific emotions, and using the bilateral stimulation to facilitate reprocessing. Over time, this helps to reduce the emotional charge attached to those memories, making them less intrusive and more manageable. Research has shown significant success in treating a range of mental health conditions, including PTSD, anxiety, and depression, with EMDR.

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What is the mind-gut connection?

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What is the mind-gut connection?

The mind-gut connection is a powerful and often overlooked link between our brain and digestive system. In fact, more and more research comes out every year on how the gut is an active player in our emotional and mental health. In fact, research shows that some gut microbiota (also known as microorganisms) were connected to some mental health disorders, such as anxiety, depression, anorexia nervosa, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and more. This connection is largely driven by the vagus nerve, which links the brain to the gut, enabling communication between the two. The gut is home to trillions of bacteria, known as the gut microbiome, which influence a variety of bodily functions, including digestion, immunity, and even mood regulation. Check out our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions.”


The mind-gut connection works both ways, meaning that what we think and feel can also impact our digestive health. For example, when we experience stress or anxiety, our body releases hormones like cortisol, which can affect gut function and lead to digestive issues such as bloating, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), or even stomach ulcers. On the other hand, a healthy gut can promote positive mental health, enhancing mood and reducing stress. If you struggle with stress, read our blog “Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy.” Understanding the intricate relationship between our brain and gut is a crucial step toward achieving overall wellness since both physical and mental health are deeply intertwined.

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

Love is a powerful emotion. It can sweep you off of your feet, feel euphoric, and be a source of immense happiness. However, when love starts to feel like an obsession or dependency, it may hint that there is a deeper issue going on. The sense of being “addicted” to love often comes from your brain’s response to the emotional highs of being in a romantic connection with someone. When you fall in love, your brain releases a host of feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals can create a sense of pleasure and attachment. Over time, you may become dependent on these neurochemical ‘boosts’. In other words, your association of love to intense feelings of validation and joy makes you crave love even more.


There is a point in time where a longing for love can become too intense and turn into emotional dependency. Some signs of this may be constantly seeking external validation  or falling into unhealthy cycles of emotional highs and lows with someone, even if it is a toxic connection. For more information on this, check out our blog “How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship.” The desire to feel loved, cherished, or wanted is at the core of the human experience, but it may cloud your sense of self-worth over time. Not being in a romantic relationship should not make you feel incomplete. Understanding why love feels like an addiction and your relationship to love is the first step toward breaking free from unhealthy patterns and learning how to nurture healthier, more balanced relationships.

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

Maladaptive daydreaming refers to a pattern of extensive, vivid daydreaming that interferes with daily life. Maladaptive daydreaming often becomes a form of escapism. Unlike normal daydreaming, which may occur occasionally and does not really disrupt functioning, maladaptive daydreaming can become all-consuming. 

People experiencing maladaptive daydreaming may spend hours each day lost in elaborate fantasies, often centered around idealized scenarios or intricate narratives that they mentally replay. These daydreams can be triggered by external events, emotions, or boredom, and they often involve highly detailed storylines with characters, settings, and even specific events. As these fantasies grow, they can take on a life of their own, making it difficult for individuals to focus on real-world tasks or engage meaningfully with other people to foster relationships.

While daydreaming itself is not inherently harmful, maladaptive daydreaming can have significant negative consequences. People who struggle with this type of daydreaming may experience difficulty concentrating on work or school, neglect relationships, or feel disconnected from their surroundings. These daydreams often create a sense of temporary relief from life's stresses, but they can ultimately cause more issues in the long-run, preventing individuals from addressing the real challenges they face. As the fantasies become more compelling and immersive, the boundary between fantasy and reality can blur which can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression. For more information, check out our blog “3 Benefits of Working with a Depression Therapist.”

Understanding maladaptive daydreaming is crucial in order to address it effectively and find healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions.

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How does music affect your mental health?

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How does music affect your mental health?

Music can have a major impact on mental health whether it is played as a source of comfort or used as a tool for emotional expression. From the calming effects of a soft melody or the energizing power of a favorite song, music can shape our mood and influence how we perceive and respond to the world around us. Think about your last heartbreak, you likely listened to some sad music to relish in your feelings. Or think about when you are trying to hype yourself up before a presentation at work, you likely listen to an upbeat song that makes you feel like you can take on the world! Music’s ability to evoke emotions and memories creates a therapeutic environment where people can feel understood, grounded, and connected.


Beyond just listening, music can also be a means of self-expression and processing emotions, helping you work through complex feelings that might otherwise be difficult to express. Creating music or singing along can serve as a form of emotional release. This can actually create a sense of accomplishment and help you better manage your emotional state. Music can be used to help you relax, heal, or motivate you. Music’s ability to resonate with the mind and body underscores its important role in maintaining mental health. For more information, check out our blog “5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection.”

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How Do I Beat Menopause Depression?

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How Do I Beat Menopause Depression?

Menopause can bring on a range of emotional shifts and, for many women, depression becomes a significant challenge during this time period. Hormonal fluctuations, particularly a drop in estrogen and progesterone, can trigger mood swings, irritability, and even feelings of sadness or anxiety. Menopause also triggers physical symptoms, like hot flashes, sleep disturbances, and fatigue. With the combination of these symptoms, it is no surprise that many women feel overwhelmed by this life change. The emotional toll of this phase can also be compounded by life transitions such as aging, empty-nesting, or shifts in identity, making it hard to stay positive or maintain your usual sense of self.


But despite the emotional hurdles menopause brings, it is possible to manage and even overcome depression during this time! A holistic approach, including regular exercise, a balanced diet, mindfulness practices, and working with a therapist for women’s issues at Anchor Therapy, can provide significant relief. It is essential to acknowledge what you are going through and seek out the support you need, whether from medical professionals, loved ones, or support groups. With the right tools and mindset, you can navigate menopause with greater ease and find a renewed sense of energy!

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How to Get Past Medical Trauma

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How to Get Past Medical Trauma

Healing from past medical trauma can feel like an overwhelming journey, but it is possible to regain control and peace with the right therapeutic approach. Medical trauma can come in many forms whether it is from a difficult diagnosis, a painful procedure, or generally negative healthcare experiences. Medical trauma typically leaves long-lasting, deep emotional scars that impact your level of trust in doctors, health decisions, and overall welfare. Over time, these wounds can manifest as anxiety, fear, or even physical symptoms, making it important to recognize the impact of these experiences and seek ways to move forward. If you struggle with physical mental health symptoms, check out our blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” 


Taking steps toward healing involves acknowledging the trauma, seeking mental health support from a licensed psychotherapist, and building healthier coping mechanisms. Whether through mental health counseling at Anchor Therapy, mindfulness, or support groups, addressing these emotional wounds allows you to reclaim your sense of self and find comfort in your healthcare journey again. With patience and care, it is possible to navigate the healing process and transform past medical experiences into sources of strength and resilience!

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

Long-distance relationships can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they offer space for individual growth, and on the other, they come with unique emotional challenges that can take a toll on mental health. Research shows that 60% of long-distance relationships are considered successful in the long run. 


With that being said, couples who are physically separated often face feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and uncertainty. If your communication is not consistent or healthy, these emotions can be exacerbated. So, how can long-distance couples navigate these hurdles? Is it truly possible for long-distance relationships to thrive? In this blog post, we will dive into the different aspects of long-distance relationships, including what can make them work and what can cause them to fail.


Trust, clear communication, and a shared vision for the future are all essential components of a healthy, successful long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance between connection and independence. Luckily, there are many mental health strategies that can help you and your partner maintain a strong bond while also caring for one another’s emotional well-being. From coping mechanisms to relationship-building tips, you can learn to make the distance work for you and not against you.

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