Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

relationship ocd

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What Does OCD Look Like In A Relationship?

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What Does OCD Look Like In A Relationship?

Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be difficult to spot from the outside, especially within the context of a relationship. Many people imagine OCD as constant hand-washing or a need for perfect organization, but in romantic partnerships it often shows up in far more subtle and emotional ways. Intrusive thoughts, fears of making a “wrong” choice, or rituals aimed at relieving anxiety can all quietly shape how someone shows up with their partner- sometimes without either person realizing OCD is the driving force.

When these patterns unfold inside a relationship, they can impact trust, communication, intimacy, and the overall sense of connection. A partner with OCD might seek repeated reassurance, overanalyze every interaction, or feel overwhelmed by guilt or doubt. Their partner may feel confused, drained, or unsure how to help. Understanding what OCD can look like in a relationship is the first step toward navigating it with empathy, clarity, and healthier patterns for both people involved.

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Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

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Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

It is easy to assume that feeling needy, worried, or “too much” in relationships means you have an anxious attachment style, but that is not always the case. Many people experience insecurity at times, especially in new relationships or moments of uncertainty. Insecurity is a feeling. Anxious attachment is a pattern. And while the two can look similar on the surface, understanding the difference can help you avoid mislabeling yourself and begin addressing the real issue underneath.

In this guide, we will break down how anxious attachment differs from everyday insecurity, why the distinction matters, and how each one shows up in your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Whether you are trying to understand your own patterns or you are simply curious about relationship psychology, this breakdown will give you clarity, language, and practical insight you can use right away.

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

The #1 thing that destroys marriages is not always dramatic as it is often something that quietly erodes the bond over time: a breakdown in communication. When couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, small misunderstandings turn into major resentments. Conversations become arguments, emotional distance grows, and partners begin to feel unheard or unloved. Without open, honest, and empathetic communication, even the strongest relationships can start to crumble.

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every successful marriage. It is what allows couples to navigate conflict, share dreams, express needs, and maintain emotional intimacy. When that connection fades, partners can drift apart, not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped understanding each other. Recognizing the signs of poor communication and making intentional efforts to rebuild it can mean the difference between a relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

For many survivors of trauma, the world does not just simply feel different, it actually feels muted. Emotions that once came easily may now seem distant or entirely absent, leaving a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This emotional numbness is a common but often misunderstood symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a protective response of the brain designed to shield us from overwhelming pain. While it may feel like a relief in the short term, over time, the inability to feel joy, sadness, or even anger can create its own form of suffering, affecting relationships, daily life, and self-perception.

Living with emotional numbness can be confusing and isolating. You might find yourself watching life pass by from behind a fog, unsure if what you are experiencing is “normal” or permanent. Yet, it is important to know that emotional numbness is not a personal failing. Instead, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs safety, time, and gentle care. Understanding why this numbness occurs and learning strategies to reconnect with your emotions are critical steps toward reclaiming a sense of vitality and engagement in your life.

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

Navigating school can be challenging for any student, but for those living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the academic environment often presents unique hurdles. From managing intrusive thoughts during class to handling compulsions in social settings, students with OCD may feel overwhelmed, isolated, or misunderstood. These challenges can impact not only academic performance but also emotional well-being and peer relationships. The good news? With the right tools, support systems, and coping strategies in place, students with OCD can thrive in school.

At Anchor Therapy, we work closely with students, parents, and educators to create supportive environments that reduce anxiety and encourage healthy coping. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies for managing OCD symptoms throughout the school day, from preparing in the morning to handling difficult moments in the classroom. Whether you are a student, parent, or school professional, these tools can help build resilience, foster independence, and promote success both inside and outside the classroom.

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

Invisible emotional labor refers to the often unrecognized and unacknowledged work of managing emotions- both your own and those of others. It is the mental and emotional effort that goes into maintaining harmony in relationships, managing workplace dynamics, or taking care of others' emotional needs without receiving formal recognition or compensation. This form of labor can show up in many areas of life, from supporting a friend through a tough time, to managing the mood of a team at work, to performing the emotional heavy lifting in a household. While it is typically invisible to others, it can weigh heavily on the person doing the work, leading to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

What makes invisible emotional labor particularly challenging is that it is often assumed to be a “natural” role or responsibility, especially for women, parents, or caregivers. Society tends to overlook the emotional effort it takes to keep relationships and environments functional, and often, the people doing this work do not even realize how much they are giving until they feel drained or overwhelmed. In this blog, we will unpack what invisible emotional labor looks like, why it is important to recognize it, and how to navigate it without letting it take a toll on your well-being.

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

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How to Cope with Relationship OCD using CBT and ERP

Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, also referred to as R-OCD, is a subtype of OCD. It is characterized by ongoing intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable behavior regarding the unpredictability of a relationship. If you have R-OCD, it is likely that you experience recurring doubts about one or more relationships in your life, even if there is evidence present or not that supports those thoughts. 

Many people with R-OCD feel like, no matter what they do, they cannot get rid of their doubting thoughts. You may worry that you are stuck in the wrong relationship. Or maybe you find yourself questioning everything about your partner. Soon enough, your unrelenting obsessions and compulsions about your relationship can take over and cause you to self-sabotage. If you want to learn how to manage your R-OCD effectively, keep reading!

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