Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
nj therapist, nyc therapist, boundaries
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
nyc therapist, relationship counseling, loneliness
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

Couples Counseling Page

, , ,

What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

, , ,
What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

The #1 thing that destroys marriages is not always dramatic as it is often something that quietly erodes the bond over time: a breakdown in communication. When couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, small misunderstandings turn into major resentments. Conversations become arguments, emotional distance grows, and partners begin to feel unheard or unloved. Without open, honest, and empathetic communication, even the strongest relationships can start to crumble.

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every successful marriage. It is what allows couples to navigate conflict, share dreams, express needs, and maintain emotional intimacy. When that connection fades, partners can drift apart, not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped understanding each other. Recognizing the signs of poor communication and making intentional efforts to rebuild it can mean the difference between a relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.

, , , ,

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

, , , ,
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

, , ,

How Postpartum Depression (PPD) Affects Intimacy in Relationships

, , ,
How Postpartum Depression (PPD) Affects Intimacy in Relationships

Postpartum Depression (PPD) can quietly reshape a couple’s relationship in ways many people do not expect. While much of the focus after birth naturally centers on the baby, the emotional and physical bond between partners often shifts under the weight of exhaustion, hormonal changes, identity adjustment, and mental health challenges. 

For the partner experiencing PPD, feelings of sadness, numbness, irritability, or anxiety can make emotional closeness feel distant or even overwhelming. For the other partner, confusion and emotional disconnection can grow as affection, communication, and physical intimacy change without clear explanation.

Intimacy after childbirth is rarely just about sex. It includes emotional connection, communication, trust, and feeling understood. When PPD enters the picture, these layers of intimacy can become strained. One partner may withdraw emotionally or physically, not because of lack of love, but because their mind and body are in survival mode. Meanwhile, the other may feel rejected, unsure how to help, or afraid of saying the wrong thing. Understanding how PPD affects intimacy is the first step toward compassion, patience, and rebuilding connection in a way that honors both partners’ experiences during a very vulnerable time.

, , , ,

Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime

, , , ,
Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

, ,

Dating Someone with OCD

, ,
Dating Someone with OCD

Dating someone with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be deeply meaningful, but it also comes with nuances that are not always visible from the outside. OCD is not just about being neat or liking things a certain way. It often involves intrusive thoughts, intense anxiety, and repetitive behaviors performed to find relief. As a partner, you may find yourself wanting to help, to reassure, or to “fix” what your loved one is going through. But understanding where support ends and unintentional reinforcement begins is part of the learning curve in building a healthy relationship.

At its core, dating someone with OCD is about patience, communication, and a willingness to understand a world that can feel overwhelming and unpredictable. It means recognizing that your partner’s fears may not always make logical sense but they are very real to them. It also means learning how to show up in ways that are compassionate without feeding the cycle of OCD. With the right balance, relationships involving OCD can grow stronger, rooted in empathy, trust, and a shared commitment to navigating challenges together.

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is one of the most common, and misunderstood, emotions in relationships. It can show up quietly as insecurity or loudly as suspicion, often leaving both partners feeling confused, hurt, or defensive. While jealousy is a natural human response rooted in fear of loss, it does not have to damage a relationship. In fact, when handled thoughtfully, it can become an opportunity to better understand your emotions, strengthen communication, and build deeper trust with your partner.

Learning how to handle jealousy starts with honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to jealous feelings, it is important to explore where they come from and what they are trying to tell you. Are they rooted in past experiences, unmet needs, or a lack of reassurance? By approaching jealousy with curiosity rather than blame, couples can turn moments of tension into meaningful conversations that foster emotional intimacy and long-term stability.

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Happiness has long been considered an elusive emotion. It is something we chase but can rarely define. With that being said, modern neuroscience is beginning to unravel the brain’s complex role in shaping our sense of well-being! From the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin to the intricate interplay of neural circuits in brain regions, such as the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, researchers are uncovering how our brains generate and sustain feelings of joy, contentment, and fulfillment. Understanding the mechanisms that are at play not only deepens our appreciation for human experience, but also opens the door to practical strategies for enhancing happiness in daily life.

Beyond biology, the neuroscience of happiness reveals that our minds are able to change. Studies in neuroplasticity show that even small changes in thought patterns, habits, and social connections can rewire the brain in ways that promote lasting positive emotions. By exploring how our brains respond to pleasure, reward, and meaning, we gain insight into the delicate balance between nature and nurture in pursuing happiness. Whether you are curious about the science behind a fleeting smile or seeking evidence-based ways to boost your own happiness levels, your brain offers fascinating clues to building a happier life.

, ,

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

, ,
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

Relationships thrive on emotional connection, yet many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional distance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples offers a research-based approach that helps partners move beyond surface arguments to understand the deeper emotions and attachment needs driving their interactions. Instead of focusing solely on communication techniques, EFT works to strengthen the emotional bond between partners which helps you and your partner feel safer, more supported, and more understood in the relationship.

Through guided conversations and structured interventions, EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns and replace them with healthier ways of responding to each other. As partners learn to express vulnerable emotions and respond with empathy rather than defensiveness, trust and closeness can gradually be rebuilt. The goal of EFT is not just resolving conflicts, but creating a secure emotional connection that allows couples to face challenges together with greater resilience and intimacy.

The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

Men are often taught to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved which can make depression in men harder to recognize and even harder to talk about. Unlike the stereotypical image of sadness or tears, male depression often shows up as irritability, anger, exhaustion, or withdrawal. Many men struggle in silence, dismissing their symptoms as stress or burnout, while the weight of untreated depression continues to grow.

Recognizing the early warning signs can be life-changing. From sudden mood shifts and loss of interest in activities to changes in sleep, work performance, or risky behavior, these signals should not be ignored. Understanding what depression looks like in men is the first step toward breaking stigma, encouraging honest conversations, and seeking the right support before things escalate.

Attachment Issues and Dating: What You Need to Know

Attachment Issues and Dating: What You Need to Know

Dating can be complicated enough without the invisible weight of attachment issues shaping your thoughts, reactions, and expectations. If you have ever found yourself getting attached too quickly, pulling away when things start to feel serious, or constantly worrying about where you stand, you are not alone. Attachment issues often develop early in life, but they tend to show up most clearly in romantic relationships where vulnerability, trust, and emotional closeness are front and center. View our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.” 

Understanding how attachment issues influence your dating patterns is the first step toward building healthier, more secure connections. When you recognize your triggers, communication habits, and emotional responses, you gain the power to respond intentionally instead of reactively. Whether you are navigating new relationships or trying to break old cycles, learning how attachment impacts dating can help you move toward deeper, more stable love.

,

6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

,
6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is often misunderstood, and many of the ideas floating around about it are more myth than reality. From assumptions that ENM relationships are inherently unstable to the belief that jealousy makes them impossible, misconceptions can create unnecessary fear or judgment for those exploring this relationship style. These myths not only misrepresent the experiences of people in ENM but also make it harder for newcomers to approach it with confidence and clarity. Understanding what ENM truly is and what it is not is the first step in challenging these misconceptions!

In reality, ENM relationships come in many forms, from open relationships to polyamory, and can be deeply fulfilling when approached ethically and intentionally. Just like any other relationship, success in ENM depends on communication, trust, and respect- not on rigid societal norms about monogamy. By examining the most common myths and setting the record straight, this blog aims to shed light on how ENM works in practice, offering a clearer, more accurate perspective for anyone curious about exploring alternative ways of loving.

, ,

Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

, ,
Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

In today’s world, dating often happens through swipes, likes, and endless scrolling, creating a new environment where undefined relationships, commonly called situationships, thrive. Dating apps offer instant connection and convenience, but they also encourage ambiguity. When communication is limited to messages and profile impressions, it is easy for two people to enjoy each other’s company without ever defining what their relationship actually is. The line between casual fun and emotional investment becomes blurry, leaving many people stuck in cycles of hope, disappointment, and uncertainty.

Situationships in the age of dating apps are fueled by the illusion of infinite choice. When potential partners are just a swipe away, commitment can feel optional, and exploring other options becomes normalized, even when emotional attachment is already present. This dynamic can make people question their own feelings, wonder if they are being “too invested,” or stay in limbo longer than they would have otherwise. Understanding how modern technology shapes our dating experiences is key to recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and navigating the messy gray area between casual connection and meaningful commitment.

, ,

Emotional Avoidance Behind Hyper-Independence

, ,
Emotional Avoidance Behind Hyper-Independence

Hyper-independence is often celebrated in our culture as strength, resilience, and self-sufficiency. Yet, for many people, it is not just a preference, it is a protective strategy. At its core, hyper-independence can be a form of emotional avoidance, a way to manage uncomfortable feelings like fear, vulnerability, or shame. By relying solely on themselves and refusing help from others, hyper-independent individuals can avoid confronting emotions that feel unsafe, unfamiliar, or overwhelming. Over time, this pattern may create the illusion of control while actually limiting connection, intimacy, and personal growth.

Understanding the emotional roots of hyper-independence is essential for breaking the cycle. People who grew up in environments where asking for help was discouraged, unsafe, or met with criticism often learn to suppress emotional needs and rely entirely on themselves. While this strategy may have been adaptive in childhood, it can become limiting in adulthood, leading to isolation, burnout, and difficulty forming meaningful relationships. In this blog post, we will explore how emotional avoidance fuels hyper-independence and practical steps to start embracing connection and vulnerability safely. Read our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.”

How Couples Can Navigate Pregnancy Stress Together with Therapy

How Couples Can Navigate Pregnancy Stress Together with Therapy

Pregnancy is often portrayed as a joyful and exciting time, but for many couples, it can also bring unexpected stress, anxiety, and emotional challenges. Hormonal changes, physical discomfort, financial pressures, and the anticipation of becoming parents can create tension, misunderstandings, or even feelings of isolation within a relationship. These stressors are natural, but if left unaddressed, they can affect communication, intimacy, and overall emotional well-being for both partners.

Working with a couples counselor here at Anchor Therapy offers you and your partner a structured, supportive space to navigate these challenges together. Through perinatal or couples therapy, partners can learn effective communication strategies, manage anxiety, and develop shared coping skills to handle the unique pressures of pregnancy. It is not just about resolving conflict, it is about strengthening connection, fostering mutual understanding, and preparing both partners emotionally for the transition into parenthood. By addressing stress as a team, couples can create a healthier, more resilient foundation for their growing family.

, ,

What Does OCD Look Like In A Relationship?

, ,
What Does OCD Look Like In A Relationship?

Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be difficult to spot from the outside, especially within the context of a relationship. Many people imagine OCD as constant hand-washing or a need for perfect organization, but in romantic partnerships it often shows up in far more subtle and emotional ways. Intrusive thoughts, fears of making a “wrong” choice, or rituals aimed at relieving anxiety can all quietly shape how someone shows up with their partner- sometimes without either person realizing OCD is the driving force.

When these patterns unfold inside a relationship, they can impact trust, communication, intimacy, and the overall sense of connection. A partner with OCD might seek repeated reassurance, overanalyze every interaction, or feel overwhelmed by guilt or doubt. Their partner may feel confused, drained, or unsure how to help. Understanding what OCD can look like in a relationship is the first step toward navigating it with empathy, clarity, and healthier patterns for both people involved.

, , ,

Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem

, , ,
Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem

Our sense of self-worth does not form in isolation as it grows through our earliest relationships. The way we learn to connect, depend on others, and feel safe in love becomes the blueprint for how we see ourselves. This blueprint is known as our attachment style. Whether you identify as secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant, your attachment style subtly shapes how you view your value in relationships and the world around you.

When self-esteem and attachment intertwine, they can create either a strong foundation of confidence or a cycle of self-doubt and emotional insecurity. Understanding this connection is a powerful first step toward healing. By recognizing how attachment patterns influence the way you talk to yourself, trust others, and set boundaries, you can begin to rebuild self-esteem that comes from within, not from the approval or affection of others.

All About IMAGO Couples Counseling

All About IMAGO Couples Counseling

Relationships can be both beautiful and challenging, often reflecting our deepest needs, fears, and past experiences. IMAGO couples counseling offers a unique and powerful approach to understanding these dynamics by helping partners see conflict not as a threat, but as an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, IMAGO therapy blends psychological insights with practical communication tools to transform the way couples relate to one another.

At its core, IMAGO focuses on healing childhood wounds that resurface in adult relationships, allowing partners to move from blame and frustration toward empathy and understanding. Through guided dialogue and intentional listening, couples learn to connect beyond surface-level disagreements and rediscover the emotional bond that brought them together. Whether you are seeking to repair a strained relationship or simply strengthen your connection, working with a couples counselor at Anchor Therapy offers a path forward.

,

Supporting Your Partner with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

,
Supporting Your Partner with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience filled with joy, but it can also bring unexpected challenges, especially when Postpartum Depression (PPD) enters the picture. While PPD is often discussed in relation to birthing parents, its impact reaches partners as well who may feel helpless, worried, or unsure of how to provide support. Understanding the emotional and physical toll of PPD is the first step in creating a safe, compassionate environment for your loved one.

Supporting a partner through PPD is not always straightforward, but small, intentional actions can make a meaningful difference. From active listening and encouraging professional help to helping with daily responsibilities and practicing patience, partners play a crucial role in recovery. This guide will explore practical ways to provide emotional support, recognize warning signs, and foster connection during a period that can feel isolating for both parents.

, ,

Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

, ,
Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

hobokengirl2017 Hoboken-2021-Winner-Decal Hoboken-2022-Winner-Decal Hoboken-2024-Winner-Decal