boundaries, self-esteem, Narcissistic Abuse, family counseling, Childhood trauma
Courtney Glashow
Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When ...

Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.

Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When Someone Is Using You as a Scapegoat
toxic relationships, Narcissistic Abuse, breakup therapy, Trust Issues, trauma counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Recover From Love Bombing

Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.

How to Recover From Love Bombing
Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
Couples counseling, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, Intimacy therapy, lgbtqia support
Courtney Glashow
Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. ...

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

family counseling bergen county nj

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What Is It Like Being the Golden Child? Golden Child Syndrome Signs

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What Is It Like Being the Golden Child? Golden Child Syndrome Signs

If you're the golden child in your family, chances are you already know the feeling, even if you've never had a name for it. Golden child syndrome is the family pattern where one child gets held up as the favorite, always praised, always expected to succeed, and treated as the example everyone else in the family should follow.

Parents, teachers, and even extended family members may shower you with admiration, reinforcing a sense of confidence and achievement. Knowing that your accomplishments are met with pride and celebration can be very validating and keep you in a loop of wanting to seek constant approval from other people. You may find that your mistakes are overlooked or easily forgiven.

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Birth Order Theory: What Your Place in the Family Actually Shapes

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Birth Order Theory: What Your Place in the Family Actually Shapes

Is the oldest really bossy and the baby really spoiled? Here's what birth order theory actually says about your personality, your relationships, and who you tend to date, plus what the newest research says about whether any of it holds up.

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your mental well-being, yet many of us struggle to assert them without feeling guilty. Whether it is saying no to extra work, limiting time with draining friends, or prioritizing self-care, the fear of disappointing others can make boundaries feel selfish or uncomfortable. But in reality, boundaries are not about pushing people away. Instead, they are about creating space for respect, clarity, and balance in your life. Learning to set them effectively allows you to honor your needs while still nurturing meaningful connections.

The key is approaching boundaries with confidence and compassion, both for yourself and others. It is about understanding that saying no or setting limits does not make you unkind; it makes you human. With the right strategies, you can communicate your limits clearly, manage guilt, and maintain relationships that thrive on mutual respect. In this blog, we will explore practical ways to set boundaries without shame, empowering you to live authentically while keeping your mental health intact!

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How to Stop Chasing Validation

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How to Stop Chasing Validation

There is a quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly looking outward for approval. This can look like measuring your worth through likes, praise, or someone else’s opinion of you. Chasing validation can feel productive in the moment, like you are building confidence, but it often leaves you more dependent and unsure of who you really are. The more you rely on others to tell you you are enough, the more power you give away, and the harder it becomes to stand firmly in your own identity.

Learning to stop chasing validation is not about shutting people out or pretending you do not care, it is about shifting where your sense of worth comes from. When you begin to trust your own voice, honor your values, and recognize your inherent worth, something powerful happens: you stop performing for approval and start living with intention. This journey is not instant, but it is one of the most freeing steps you can take toward real self-love.

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Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

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Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

Gaming has evolved from a casual pastime into a full-fledged cultural phenomenon, offering immersive worlds, social connections, and endless challenges. While most players enjoy gaming responsibly, for some, what starts as a hobby can spiral into a compulsive habit. Recognizing the warning signs early is crucial, not only for the individual but also for their loved ones, because gaming addiction can subtly impact mental health, relationships, and daily responsibilities without being immediately obvious.

Understanding the behavioral patterns behind excessive gaming is the first step toward prevention and intervention. From neglecting work or school commitments to feeling irritable when not playing, these signs can manifest in ways that blend seamlessly into everyday life. By learning to spot these patterns, families, friends, and even gamers themselves can take proactive steps to regain balance, ensuring that gaming remains a fun and healthy part of life rather than a disruptive force.

Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

The start of a new year often comes with excitement and a long list of goals, from improving grades and learning new skills to taking better care of yourself. But as the days go by, that initial enthusiasm can fade, leaving you frustrated or unsure of how to keep moving forward. Staying motivated is not about pushing yourself relentlessly; it is about finding strategies that make your goals feel achievable, meaningful, and even enjoyable. Understanding why motivation fluctuates and how to respond to those dips can make a big difference in whether your resolutions stick or fade away by February.

One of the keys to staying motivated is breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. When you focus on progress rather than perfection, each step becomes a victory worth celebrating which fuels momentum. Pairing this with self-compassion, such as reminding yourself that setbacks are normal and not a sign of failure, can prevent discouragement from taking over. By combining practical planning with patience and flexibility, you can create a system that keeps your goals alive throughout the year, turning intentions into lasting habits rather than fleeting resolutions. Read our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, togetherness, and celebration but for those who are grieving, they can feel heavy, disorienting, and painfully quiet all at once. Grief during the holidays does not always look like tears at the table or visible sadness. Sometimes it shows up as numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or a deep sense of not belonging in moments that are supposed to feel warm and familiar. The contrast between personal loss and public celebration can make grief feel sharper, more isolating, and harder to explain. Research shows that, each year, roughly 35-40% of Americans feel too sad or too stressed to celebrate the holidays due to loss, loneliness, and additional factors. 

Grief can also be unpredictable during this season. One moment you may feel okay while laughing at a memory or enjoying a small tradition and the next you may feel overwhelmed by a song, a scent, or an empty chair. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and no timeline you are expected to follow. Understanding what grief can look like during this time is not about fixing it or making it disappear, but about offering yourself compassion and permission to feel whatever comes, exactly as it is.

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What Are The Four Types of Codependency?

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What Are The Four Types of Codependency?

Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition where individuals prioritize others’ needs over their own, often leading to unhealthy relationships. Research shows that the four main types of codependency include the caretaker, enabler, controller, and adjuster. The caretaker constantly sacrifices their own well-being to care for others, often feeling needed as a way to gain self-worth. The enabler supports or covers for another person’s harmful behavior, such as substance abuse, to avoid conflict or guilt, indirectly allowing the destructive patterns to continue.

The controller type tries to manage or dictate the behaviors of others to maintain a sense of stability, often stemming from fear of chaos or loss. The adjuster, on the other hand, adapts their behavior to please others, suppressing their own emotions and desires to avoid rejection or disapproval. Recognizing these types is crucial for self-awareness and personal growth, as each can impact relationships differently and may require targeted strategies for healthier interactions and boundaries.

Holiday Stress Archetypes: Are You the Over-Planner, Peacekeeper, or Procrasinator?

Holiday Stress Archetypes: Are You the Over-Planner, Peacekeeper, or Procrasinator?

The holidays may be a time filled with nostalgia and celebration, but beneath the glitter lies a familiar tension many of us try to hide. From last-minute shopping to emotional family dynamics, stress shows up in wildly different ways and most of us fall into predictable patterns without even realizing it. That is where the idea of holiday stress archetypes comes in. These personality-driven patterns shape how we plan, react, and cope during the busiest season of the year, and understanding them can help you navigate the holidays with far more clarity and calm.

This year, instead of pushing through on autopilot, take a closer look at your holiday habits. Are you the over-planner who finds comfort in perfectly color-coded lists? The peacekeeper who smooths over every conflict and ends up emotionally drained? Or the procrastinator who waits until deadline pressure kicks motivation into high gear? Identifying your archetype is not about labeling yourself. Instead, it is about uncovering what you need to stay balanced, joyful, and grounded during a season that often demands more than it gives. Let us explore how recognizing your patterns can transform the way you experience the holidays!

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.

Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

For many survivors of trauma, the world does not just simply feel different, it actually feels muted. Emotions that once came easily may now seem distant or entirely absent, leaving a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This emotional numbness is a common but often misunderstood symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a protective response of the brain designed to shield us from overwhelming pain. While it may feel like a relief in the short term, over time, the inability to feel joy, sadness, or even anger can create its own form of suffering, affecting relationships, daily life, and self-perception.

Living with emotional numbness can be confusing and isolating. You might find yourself watching life pass by from behind a fog, unsure if what you are experiencing is “normal” or permanent. Yet, it is important to know that emotional numbness is not a personal failing. Instead, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs safety, time, and gentle care. Understanding why this numbness occurs and learning strategies to reconnect with your emotions are critical steps toward reclaiming a sense of vitality and engagement in your life.

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Supporting Your Partner with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

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Supporting Your Partner with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience filled with joy, but it can also bring unexpected challenges, especially when Postpartum Depression (PPD) enters the picture. While PPD is often discussed in relation to birthing parents, its impact reaches partners as well who may feel helpless, worried, or unsure of how to provide support. Understanding the emotional and physical toll of PPD is the first step in creating a safe, compassionate environment for your loved one.

Supporting a partner through PPD is not always straightforward, but small, intentional actions can make a meaningful difference. From active listening and encouraging professional help to helping with daily responsibilities and practicing patience, partners play a crucial role in recovery. This guide will explore practical ways to provide emotional support, recognize warning signs, and foster connection during a period that can feel isolating for both parents.

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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How To Deal With A Child With OCD

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How To Deal With A Child With OCD

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be deeply distressing for both the child or teen experiencing it and the family supporting them. At Anchor Therapy, our OCD therapists often meet parents who feel overwhelmed, confused, or even helpless as they try to understand their child's behaviors whether it is constant hand-washing, repeated questioning, or an intense need for things to be "just right." OCD in children can show up differently than in adults and early intervention is key to helping them manage the intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that interfere with daily life.

Supporting a child with OCD requires more than just patience- it calls for informed, compassionate strategies that balance empathy with structure. From a therapeutic standpoint, we emphasize the importance of understanding the disorder, recognizing what is driven by anxiety versus defiance, and learning tools that empower both child and parent. In this blog, we will explore how to approach OCD with clarity and confidence, including how mental health counseling can support lasting change and provide relief for the whole family system.

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Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

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Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

The mass shooting that struck New York City in July 2025 left more than physical devastation- it tore through the emotional core of the city. As news broke and sirens echoed across boroughs, countless lives were instantly changed. For survivors, witnesses, families, and even those watching from afar, the psychological impact has been profound. In the days and weeks since, many are grappling with feelings of fear, helplessness, grief, and a shaken sense of safety in their everyday lives. Read our blog “How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?”. 

Trauma from events like these does not fade just because the headlines do. It lingers in unexpected moments, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, or the quiet isolation of sleepless nights. Whether you were directly affected or emotionally impacted from a distance, this post explores what trauma can look like, why it is normal to feel disoriented or overwhelmed, and how to begin taking small but meaningful steps toward healing. You are not alone and your pain is valid.

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

Invisible emotional labor refers to the often unrecognized and unacknowledged work of managing emotions- both your own and those of others. It is the mental and emotional effort that goes into maintaining harmony in relationships, managing workplace dynamics, or taking care of others' emotional needs without receiving formal recognition or compensation. This form of labor can show up in many areas of life, from supporting a friend through a tough time, to managing the mood of a team at work, to performing the emotional heavy lifting in a household. While it is typically invisible to others, it can weigh heavily on the person doing the work, leading to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

What makes invisible emotional labor particularly challenging is that it is often assumed to be a “natural” role or responsibility, especially for women, parents, or caregivers. Society tends to overlook the emotional effort it takes to keep relationships and environments functional, and often, the people doing this work do not even realize how much they are giving until they feel drained or overwhelmed. In this blog, we will unpack what invisible emotional labor looks like, why it is important to recognize it, and how to navigate it without letting it take a toll on your well-being.

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What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

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What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is a highly effective, evidence-based treatment designed to strengthen the parent-child relationship while addressing difficult behaviors in young children, typically between the ages of 2 and 7. Developed by psychologist Dr. Sheila Eyberg, PCIT helps parents learn practical, real-time strategies for promoting positive behavior and managing challenging ones all while deepening emotional connection. Using a unique setup where child therapists at Anchor Therapy coach parents during play sessions, PCIT allows caregivers to apply new skills immediately and confidently, creating lasting change within the family dynamic!

At the heart of PCIT is the belief that strong, healthy parent-child relationships are the foundation for emotional and behavioral development. Through its two-phase model- Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) and Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)- parents learn to foster warmth, trust, and effective communication while also setting consistent boundaries. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.” As a result, children often become more cooperative and emotionally secure, and parents report feeling more in control and connected. By rebuilding relationships through guided interaction, PCIT not only reduces behavioral issues but also brings families closer together.

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

Caretaker’s Syndrome- also known as caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue- is a silent, often overlooked struggle that affects people who spend much of their time tending to the needs of others. Whether you are caring for a sick family member, managing the emotional labor in your relationships or constantly putting others before yourself, the toll can be overwhelming. Over time, you may find yourself feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, disconnected from your own needs, and even resentful yet unable to stop giving. It is a cycle that can feel impossible to break on your own.

This is where counseling at Anchor Therapy can make a powerful difference. Far from being just a space to vent, therapy provides a structured, supportive environment where you can safely explore how your caretaking patterns developed, what emotional costs they carry, and how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and sense of self. Through personalized strategies- like setting boundaries, processing guilt, and rediscovering your own identity- therapy helps you move from surviving to truly healing. It is not about abandoning your care for others; it is about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

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