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Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.
You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.
The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.
As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.
When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.
On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.
You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.
Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.
Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.
Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.
Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.
Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.
When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.
A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.
This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.
A lot of our clients find themselves giving away too much of themselves to others to a point that they feel worn out. Especially in this time during the holidays, people feel they need to give everything they can to others. Whether that is lending an ear to friends in need, giving gifts, or going above and beyond for others. If you find yourself doing to this to the point of exhaustion then you may be a people-pleaser. This usually means that you are taking care of others around you before you take care of yourself. Our clients who present as people-pleasers usually find themselves feeling anxious, drained, and overwhelmed.
Most people who experience anxiety over analyze everything happening in their life constantly. People with anxiety are either over analyzing something that happened in the past or they are worried about what might happen in the future. A common example of a worry is about future plans. People who experience anxiety are more likely to cancel their plans last minute because they are spending so much of their time stuck worrying.
Whether you have anxiety yourself, or you know someone who has anxiety, then it would be helpful to learn more about anxiety and how it can sometimes present as not caring for others and not wanting to be social. but that is not what is actually going on. When people with anxiety cancel plans last minute, there is usually much more going on.
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Someone in your life is difficult, self-centered, hard to reason with. You've called them a narcissist more than once, probably out loud, probably to a friend who nodded along immediately. But somewhere in the back of your mind, a real question is sitting there: is that actually true, or is it just the word everyone reaches for now.
Narcissistic tendencies are traits like self-focus, a need for admiration, or difficulty with empathy that show up occasionally or in certain situations, without meeting the bar for an actual diagnosis. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, is a specific, diagnosable condition where those same traits are pervasive, rigid, and present across nearly every context and relationship. Almost everyone has narcissistic tendencies sometimes, and very few people actually have NPD. This post covers what separates the two, how to tell which one you might be dealing with, and why the distinction matters more than it might seem.
It's 4:00 pm on Sunday and something in your chest just dropped. Nothing happened, no email came in, no calendar reminder went off. You were just sitting there, and then suddenly you weren't relaxed anymore. If this happens to you almost every week, you've probably already looked up what it's called.
If you're wondering about the Sunday scaries meaning, here it is in plain terms: the Sunday scaries are the anticipatory dread and anxiety that show up on Sunday afternoon or evening as the work week gets closer. Most explanations stop there and treat it like a harmless quirk everyone gets, and sometimes that's exactly what it is. Other times, your Sunday scaries are pointing at something bigger, like real dissatisfaction with your job. This post covers what the Sunday scaries mean, how to tell which version you're dealing with, and what to do once you know.
You notice yourself blinking. Now you can't stop noticing yourself blinking. An hour later you're still aware of every single blink, every swallow, the way your tongue sits in your mouth. You're not sick, nothing is actually wrong with your body, but you can't get your attention to let go of it either.
Somatic OCD is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where you become fixated on a normal, automatic body process, like breathing, blinking, or swallowing, and can't stop monitoring it once it's caught your attention. The sensation itself isn't dangerous, what's distressing is the awareness, the sense that you're now trapped noticing something you used to do without thinking at all. If you've ever gotten stuck on your own breathing or heartbeat for hours and wondered if something was seriously wrong with you, you're not broken, and you're not alone. This post covers what somatic OCD actually is, how it's connected to sensorimotor and hyperawareness OCD, and what actually helps you stop feeding the loop.
You tell your friend about the promotion, and there's a half-second pause before "oh, that's great" comes out. Then somehow, within two minutes, she's telling you about the raise she's up for, the one that's actually a bigger deal than yours. You leave lunch feeling like you did something wrong by having good news in the first place, and you can't quite explain why the whole conversation felt off.
A competitive friend is someone who treats your life as something to measure against their own, so your wins land as a threat instead of something to celebrate with you. It's rarely loud or obvious, showing up instead as a pause before the congratulations, a story that tops yours, or a compliment with a small hook in it. If you've ever felt smaller after telling a friend something good, you're not imagining it, and you're not being dramatic about it. This post covers what a competitive friend actually looks like, why it stings more from someone close to you than a stranger, and what you can do about it.
Your partner's mom calls every single day, sometimes twice. Every plan you make together gets run past her first, even small ones, even ones that have nothing to do with her. You've started to notice you're not quite sure where your partner's opinion ends and their mother's begins. You love this person, but you also can't shake the feeling that you're dating two people instead of one.
An enmeshed family is one where the boundaries between family members are blurred or missing entirely, so individual identity, decisions, and emotions get absorbed into the family as a whole instead of staying separate. When you date someone from a family like this, you're not just dating them. You're dating a whole system that doesn't always leave room for you. This post covers what enmeshment actually is, how to spot it early, and what it takes to build a relationship that can hold both your partner and their family without losing you in the process.
You keep replaying the conversation in your head. On paper, nothing that was said sounds that bad, no yelling, no insults, no dramatic scene. So why do you feel small? Why do you feel like you somehow ended up apologizing for something you didn't even do?
Covert narcissism is a pattern of self-focus, fragile self-esteem, and quiet control that hides behind humility, victimhood, or shyness instead of obvious, outward arrogance. You won't see the grandiosity people usually associate with narcissism. Instead, you'll see someone who seems sensitive, self-deprecating, even a little insecure, while somehow still managing to make every conversation circle back to them.
If you've walked away from someone feeling confused, guilty, or smaller than you were an hour ago, and you can't quite explain why, keep reading. This post covers what covert narcissism actually is, how it's different from the loud, obvious version most people picture, and what it looks like when you're the one living with it.
You walk into your parents' house feeling completely fine. Twenty minutes later, before anyone has said anything specific, your shoulders are up around your ears and you're bracing for something. Nothing really happened. You just walked into the room your mom was already tense in, and now you're tense too.
Emotional contagion is the process of automatically catching another person's emotional state through their tone, expression, and body language, often without either person realizing it's happening. In families, it usually flows in one direction: one person's mood sets the emotional temperature for everyone else in the house. If you've ever felt your own calm evaporate the second a certain family member walked in, you're not imagining it, and you're not overreacting. This post covers what emotional contagion actually is, why it shows up so strongly in families, and how to stop absorbing a mood that was never yours to carry.
Have you ever made one small mistake and immediately thought, “I’m terrible at this”? Or maybe you’ve had a friend cancel plans and found yourself wondering if they’re upset with you, even though they never said anything was wrong. These kinds of thoughts can feel automatic and convincing, but they don’t always tell the full story.
Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that can cause us to interpret situations in inaccurate or unhelpful ways. They’re common, and most of us fall into them from time to time, especially when we’re stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or dealing with difficult emotions. In this blog, we’ll look at 10 common cognitive distortions, what they can look like in everyday life, and how learning to recognize these thinking traps can help you respond to your thoughts with more perspective.
If you're the golden child in your family, chances are you already know the feeling, even if you've never had a name for it. Golden child syndrome is the family pattern where one child gets held up as the favorite, always praised, always expected to succeed, and treated as the example everyone else in the family should follow.
Parents, teachers, and even extended family members may shower you with admiration, reinforcing a sense of confidence and achievement. Knowing that your accomplishments are met with pride and celebration can be very validating and keep you in a loop of wanting to seek constant approval from other people. You may find that your mistakes are overlooked or easily forgiven.
The first few weeks felt incredible. Your new partner texted constantly, complimented everything, and talked about a future you'd barely started imagining. Then something shifted, and now you're wondering whether any of it was real. Love bombing is a pattern where someone floods you with attention, affection, and praise early on to build fast emotional dependency and gain control.
Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.
You're about to send the text, take the job, or walk into the date, and your stomach drops without warning. Is that your gut telling you something's wrong, or is that just anxiety doing what anxiety does? You've probably asked yourself some version of this question more than once, usually at the exact moment you needed a clear answer the most.
Anxiety vs intuition is a real, meaningful distinction, not just a semantic one. Anxiety is a stress response built to warn you about threats, whether or not a real threat exists, while intuition is a fast, often accurate read on a situation built from pattern recognition and bodily signals you're not consciously tracking. If you searched for this because you've made decisions from fear before and regretted it, or ignored a real gut sense and wished you hadn't, you're asking the right question. This post walks through what's actually happening in your body during each one, what the research says about telling them apart, and how to make a call in the moment instead of overanalyzing it for hours on end.
Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.