Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

anxiety help nj

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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Top 8 Career Choices for People with ADHD

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Top 8 Career Choices for People with ADHD

Finding the right career can be especially important and empowering for someone with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). While traditional work environments may present challenges like long meetings, rigid routines, or repetitive tasks, individuals with ADHD often thrive in roles that are fast-paced, creative, varied, and allow for a level of independence. Research shows that 15.5 million adults in the United States have ADHD. The key is identifying a job that plays to your strengths, such as high energy, problem-solving skills, creativity, and the ability to think outside the box.

People with ADHD tend to do best in careers that offer stimulation, flexibility, and purpose. Whether it is a high-energy environment like emergency services, a creative role in design or media, or a hands-on job like entrepreneurship or skilled trades, the most fulfilling career will align with your natural interests and abilities. In this blog, we will explore ADHD-friendly career paths, what traits to look for in a job, and how to set yourself up for long-term success without sacrificing your mental well-being.

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

Highly functional depression is often hidden behind smiles and success. It is a form of depression where you may appear to manage daily responsibilities- work, relationships, and social interactions- while silently struggling with persistent emotional pain. Unlike major depressive episodes that can be visibly debilitating, highly functional depression allows people to "keep it together" externally, making it difficult for others to notice anything is wrong. It is commonly associated with dysthymia, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a long-term, low-grade form of depression that can subtly drain a person’s joy and motivation over time. According to research from the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1.5% of United States adults experience dysthymia within a given year.

What makes this condition particularly challenging is that those experiencing it often feel invalidated or misunderstood. If you resonate with high-functioning depression, you might dismiss your own suffering because you are still achieving goals or receiving praise, leading to guilt, burnout, and a worsening emotional state. In this blog, we will unpack the signs, causes, and consequences of highly functional depression and, most importantly, explore steps toward healing even when everything “seems fine” on the outside.

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

Caretaker’s Syndrome- also known as caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue- is a silent, often overlooked struggle that affects people who spend much of their time tending to the needs of others. Whether you are caring for a sick family member, managing the emotional labor in your relationships or constantly putting others before yourself, the toll can be overwhelming. Over time, you may find yourself feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, disconnected from your own needs, and even resentful yet unable to stop giving. It is a cycle that can feel impossible to break on your own.

This is where counseling at Anchor Therapy can make a powerful difference. Far from being just a space to vent, therapy provides a structured, supportive environment where you can safely explore how your caretaking patterns developed, what emotional costs they carry, and how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and sense of self. Through personalized strategies- like setting boundaries, processing guilt, and rediscovering your own identity- therapy helps you move from surviving to truly healing. It is not about abandoning your care for others; it is about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

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What Does Postpartum Rage Look Like?

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What Does Postpartum Rage Look Like?

When we think about Postpartum Depression (PPD), we often picture sadness, tears, or withdrawal but one of its most overlooked and misunderstood symptoms is postpartum rage. Although postpartum rage is not as well studied as PPD, research believes that postpartum anger is extremely common. This intense, unexpected anger can feel like it comes out of nowhere: snapping at a partner over small things, feeling explosive frustration during late-night feedings, or being filled with a simmering fury that does not seem to go away. For many new mothers, this rage is frightening and shame-inducing, especially when it clashes with the cultural image of the calm, nurturing parent. The truth is, postpartum rage is a very real and valid expression of emotional overload and it deserves to be talked about openly.

Postpartum rage can be isolating because it is rarely discussed, even among those experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. It is not just “being moody” or “having a bad day”; it can feel like your patience is always on edge, your tolerance is gone, and you are constantly one small moment away from exploding. This can create deep guilt, especially when anger is directed toward a partner or felt around the baby. But rather than a sign of being a “bad parent,” this rage is often a sign that something deeper- like untreated PPD, anxiety, hormonal shifts, or exhaustion- is going unaddressed. Recognizing it is the first step to healing and to realizing you are not alone!

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

Retroactive jealousy is the uncomfortable feelings triggered by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. It can be surprisingly common, yet it may leave you feeling isolated, ashamed, or confused. Whether it is fixating on exes, overanalyzing old social media posts, or imagining past romantic encounters, many individuals silently grapple with these intrusive thoughts and wonder if their emotional reactions are healthy or harmful.

In this blog post, we will explore the psychology behind retroactive jealousy, why it happens, and most importantly, whether it is considered "normal." Understanding this phenomenon can help you navigate your emotions with greater clarity and compassion while distinguishing between manageable insecurity and deeper emotional patterns that may need attention.

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Celebrating Pride Month with LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy

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Celebrating Pride Month with LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy

Pride Month, traditionally celebrated in June, is a time to honor the resilience, diversity, and strength of the LGBTQIA+ community. It is a celebration of identity, love, and visibility but it is also a reminder of the ongoing challenges many in the community still face. For those navigating the complexities of coming out, discrimination, or seeking acceptance, Pride can stir a mix of emotions, from joy and empowerment to grief and vulnerability. That is why mental health support that truly understands and affirms LGBTQIA+ identities is more important than ever.

Affirming therapy goes beyond tolerance- it is about creating a safe, supportive space where individuals are seen, respected, and celebrated for who they are. At Anchor Therapy, our LGBTQIA+ therapists recognize that mental health care must be inclusive, culturally competent, and deeply attuned to the unique experiences of LGBTQIA+ clients. During Pride Month and throughout the year, we are committed to providing therapy that uplifts and empowers- helping individuals not just survive, but thrive in their authentic selves!

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

If you have ever felt stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by emotions, or unsure how to move forward despite your best efforts, you are not alone and there is a therapy designed with that exact struggle in mind! Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present, even when things feel hard, and to take meaningful action guided by your values. Rather than trying to “fix” your thoughts or feelings, ACT teaches you how to relate to them differently, so they no longer control your life.


But how do you know if ACT is the right fit for you? Whether you are facing anxiety, depression, chronic stress, or simply feeling lost or disconnected, ACT offers a powerful framework for change that is backed by decades of research. This blog will help you understand what ACT really involves, who it works best for, and how it might support your personal growth and healing so you can make an informed, empowered decision about your mental health journey.

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

In recent years, online therapy has moved from a niche service to a mainstream mental health resource, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic that  heightened both the demand for therapy and the need for accessible care! But for those dealing with the deep and complex wounds of trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a common question arises: Can healing really happen through a screen? This blog explores the effectiveness of online psychotherapy for trauma-related conditions, separating fact from myth and offering insights grounded into virtual therapy at Anchor Therapy.


Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or transitioning from in-person sessions, understanding how online formats support trauma recovery is essential. We will look at the science behind virtual trauma treatments, including Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and somatic approaches. After reading this blog, you will feel empowered with the information you need to make the right choice for your mental health journey.

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

In recent years, cannabis, also known as weed, has moved from the edge of legality and social acceptance to a mainstream topic of conversation with growing support for its medicinal and recreational use. As laws change and public perception shifts, so too does the conversation around its effects, particularly when it comes to mental health. While some users report feelings of relaxation, reduced anxiety, or even enhanced creativity, research paints a more complex picture. Research shows that, in 2023, approximately 61.8 million people used marijuana. Many people may still ask: how bad is weed for mental health, really?

For many people, occasional or moderate cannabis use may not cause significant psychological harm. However, studies increasingly suggest that frequent or high-potency use, especially among young people or those with a family history of mental illness, can be linked to heightened risks of anxiety, depression, and even psychosis. As cannabis becomes more potent and accessible, it is important to examine the real risks and eliminate the myths. In this blog, we will break down what the science says, who may be most at risk, and how cannabis use might interact with mental health conditions.

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

Personal growth goes beyond merely achieving your goals- it is all about changing how you think, feel, and respond to the challenges that life throws your way. One powerful therapeutic tool that can be used for personal transformation is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT is a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that was developed by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis. REBT helps you realize that your beliefs, not external events, are the real source of your emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts, you can create long-lasting emotional and behavioral change.


In this blog post, we will explore five practical ways REBT can help you grow whether you are looking for improved emotional control, better relationships, or a stronger sense of self. When you learn to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that hold you back, you can replace them with rational, empowering thoughts that support your personal growth journey. Let us dive into how REBT can help you become a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself!

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What Is A Situationship?

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What Is A Situationship?

In today's dating landscape, the lines between friendship and romance are often blurred, giving rise to a relationship status that is confusing and increasingly common: the situationship. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships lack clear labels, boundaries, or expectations yet they often involve emotional intimacy, physical connection, and the routines of a romantic partnership. You might find yourself texting every day, going on dates, and even meeting each other's friends without ever having “the talk” or being exclusive. And while that ambiguity might seem freeing at first, it can quickly become a source of stress and uncertainty depending on your personality and relationship goals. 

This blog explores the emotional gray area of situationships- why people enter them, what they offer, and when they might start doing more harm than good. Whether you are currently in one, just got out of one and healing, or are trying to make sense of someone else’s, this space is for unpacking the messy middle ground of modern relationships. Because sometimes, the most complicated relationships are the ones that were never officially defined!

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

In today’s hyperconnected world, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily routines. They offer a constant stream of content, instant communication, and the ability to stay in touch with friends, trends, and news from around the world. However, as our screen time increases, so do concerns about its impact on mental health, particularly depression. More people, especially teens and young adults, report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety after prolonged exposure to curated online lives and unrealistic standards of success or beauty.

While social media can foster a sense of community, validation, and self-expression, it can also fuel harmful cycles of comparison, cyberbullying, and information overload. The contrast between someone’s highlight reel and one’s real life can leave users feeling inadequate or isolated. Researchers and mental health professionals are actively studying the relationship between social media use and depressive symptoms, raising important questions about how these platforms might influence our emotional well-being in both positive and negative ways.

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

Dealing with behavioral issues in school can be challenging for both children and parents alike. Whether it is trouble focusing, acting out, or having difficulty following instructions, these behaviors can disrupt a child's learning and social development. As a parent, it is essential to understand that these challenges are often linked to underlying emotional or developmental factors. Instead of focusing on punishment, finding supportive, proactive strategies can help your child improve their behavior and feel more confident in their school environment.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to help your child navigate behavioral issues at school. From open communication with teachers to setting consistent routines at home, these strategies are designed to empower both parents and children. By taking a compassionate and solution-oriented approach, you can create a positive environment that supports your child’s growth and success, both academically and socially!

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is a common struggle many people face, often turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, sadness, or even boredom. Instead of eating out of hunger, emotional eating involves using food as a source of comfort which can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices. This cycle can be difficult to break, especially when food provides temporary relief from overwhelming emotions. However, recognizing the pattern is the first step toward gaining control and developing healthier habits!


Overcoming emotional eating requires a combination of mindfulness, emotional awareness, and practical strategies. By understanding the emotional triggers behind your cravings and finding alternative ways to address them, you can build a healthier relationship with food. In this blog, we will explore six effective strategies to help you break free from emotional eating, regain control of your eating habits, and foster a more balanced and mindful approach to food.

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

Maladaptive daydreaming refers to a pattern of extensive, vivid daydreaming that interferes with daily life. Maladaptive daydreaming often becomes a form of escapism. Unlike normal daydreaming, which may occur occasionally and does not really disrupt functioning, maladaptive daydreaming can become all-consuming. 

People experiencing maladaptive daydreaming may spend hours each day lost in elaborate fantasies, often centered around idealized scenarios or intricate narratives that they mentally replay. These daydreams can be triggered by external events, emotions, or boredom, and they often involve highly detailed storylines with characters, settings, and even specific events. As these fantasies grow, they can take on a life of their own, making it difficult for individuals to focus on real-world tasks or engage meaningfully with other people to foster relationships.

While daydreaming itself is not inherently harmful, maladaptive daydreaming can have significant negative consequences. People who struggle with this type of daydreaming may experience difficulty concentrating on work or school, neglect relationships, or feel disconnected from their surroundings. These daydreams often create a sense of temporary relief from life's stresses, but they can ultimately cause more issues in the long-run, preventing individuals from addressing the real challenges they face. As the fantasies become more compelling and immersive, the boundary between fantasy and reality can blur which can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression. For more information, check out our blog “3 Benefits of Working with a Depression Therapist.”

Understanding maladaptive daydreaming is crucial in order to address it effectively and find healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions.

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How does music affect your mental health?

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How does music affect your mental health?

Music can have a major impact on mental health whether it is played as a source of comfort or used as a tool for emotional expression. From the calming effects of a soft melody or the energizing power of a favorite song, music can shape our mood and influence how we perceive and respond to the world around us. Think about your last heartbreak, you likely listened to some sad music to relish in your feelings. Or think about when you are trying to hype yourself up before a presentation at work, you likely listen to an upbeat song that makes you feel like you can take on the world! Music’s ability to evoke emotions and memories creates a therapeutic environment where people can feel understood, grounded, and connected.


Beyond just listening, music can also be a means of self-expression and processing emotions, helping you work through complex feelings that might otherwise be difficult to express. Creating music or singing along can serve as a form of emotional release. This can actually create a sense of accomplishment and help you better manage your emotional state. Music can be used to help you relax, heal, or motivate you. Music’s ability to resonate with the mind and body underscores its important role in maintaining mental health. For more information, check out our blog “5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection.”

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

Long-distance relationships can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they offer space for individual growth, and on the other, they come with unique emotional challenges that can take a toll on mental health. Research shows that 60% of long-distance relationships are considered successful in the long run. 


With that being said, couples who are physically separated often face feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and uncertainty. If your communication is not consistent or healthy, these emotions can be exacerbated. So, how can long-distance couples navigate these hurdles? Is it truly possible for long-distance relationships to thrive? In this blog post, we will dive into the different aspects of long-distance relationships, including what can make them work and what can cause them to fail.


Trust, clear communication, and a shared vision for the future are all essential components of a healthy, successful long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance between connection and independence. Luckily, there are many mental health strategies that can help you and your partner maintain a strong bond while also caring for one another’s emotional well-being. From coping mechanisms to relationship-building tips, you can learn to make the distance work for you and not against you.

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