Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

How is depression treated

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Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

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Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

Gaming has evolved from a casual pastime into a full-fledged cultural phenomenon, offering immersive worlds, social connections, and endless challenges. While most players enjoy gaming responsibly, for some, what starts as a hobby can spiral into a compulsive habit. Recognizing the warning signs early is crucial, not only for the individual but also for their loved ones, because gaming addiction can subtly impact mental health, relationships, and daily responsibilities without being immediately obvious.

Understanding the behavioral patterns behind excessive gaming is the first step toward prevention and intervention. From neglecting work or school commitments to feeling irritable when not playing, these signs can manifest in ways that blend seamlessly into everyday life. By learning to spot these patterns, families, friends, and even gamers themselves can take proactive steps to regain balance, ensuring that gaming remains a fun and healthy part of life rather than a disruptive force.

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The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

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The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

Men are often taught to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved which can make depression in men harder to recognize and even harder to talk about. Unlike the stereotypical image of sadness or tears, male depression often shows up as irritability, anger, exhaustion, or withdrawal. Many men struggle in silence, dismissing their symptoms as stress or burnout, while the weight of untreated depression continues to grow.

Recognizing the early warning signs can be life-changing. From sudden mood shifts and loss of interest in activities to changes in sleep, work performance, or risky behavior, these signals should not be ignored. Understanding what depression looks like in men is the first step toward breaking stigma, encouraging honest conversations, and seeking the right support before things escalate.

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

Life in Hoboken can be fast-paced, vibrant, and full of little stressors, from the morning rush along Washington Street to navigating crowded weekend spots by the waterfront. Amid the city’s energy, it is easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, anxiety, or frustration over things beyond your control. That is where Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) comes in. REBT offers practical tools to help you identify irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with healthier, more rational ways of thinking which turns everyday stress into opportunities for calm and clarity.

For Hoboken residents, applying REBT does not always mean setting aside hours for therapy sessions. It is about using simple, everyday strategies to respond more effectively to life’s challenges whether that is dealing with traffic on Sinatra Drive, handling work stress, or navigating social pressures in a tightly knit community. By integrating REBT into your daily routine, you can develop a mindset that’s both resilient and rational, helping you enjoy Hoboken’s unique charm without letting small frustrations take over!

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Does Sleep Restriction Therapy Actually Work?

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Does Sleep Restriction Therapy Actually Work?

Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep can be frustrating, especially when tossing and turning night after night starts to affect your mood, focus, and overall health. For many, traditional advice like “just relax” or “avoid screens before bed” is not enough. That is where sleep restriction therapy comes in- a targeted behavioral approach designed to help people retrain their sleep patterns and improve sleep efficiency. Unlike methods that encourage more time in bed, sleep restriction therapy intentionally limits the time you spend in bed to consolidate sleep and strengthen your body’s natural sleep drive.

But does it really work? Research suggests that sleep restriction therapy can be remarkably effective, particularly for people with insomnia. By gradually adjusting your bedtime and wake time, this therapy helps reset your internal clock, reduce nighttime awakenings, and make falling asleep easier. While it can feel challenging at first, because you might be spending less time in bed than you want, the payoff often comes in the form of deeper, more restorative sleep. In this blog, we will explore how sleep restriction therapy works, why it is effective, and what you should know before trying it.

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Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

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Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

The start of a new year often comes with excitement and a long list of goals, from improving grades and learning new skills to taking better care of yourself. But as the days go by, that initial enthusiasm can fade, leaving you frustrated or unsure of how to keep moving forward. Staying motivated is not about pushing yourself relentlessly; it is about finding strategies that make your goals feel achievable, meaningful, and even enjoyable. Understanding why motivation fluctuates and how to respond to those dips can make a big difference in whether your resolutions stick or fade away by February.

One of the keys to staying motivated is breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. When you focus on progress rather than perfection, each step becomes a victory worth celebrating which fuels momentum. Pairing this with self-compassion, such as reminding yourself that setbacks are normal and not a sign of failure, can prevent discouragement from taking over. By combining practical planning with patience and flexibility, you can create a system that keeps your goals alive throughout the year, turning intentions into lasting habits rather than fleeting resolutions. Read our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, togetherness, and celebration but for those who are grieving, they can feel heavy, disorienting, and painfully quiet all at once. Grief during the holidays does not always look like tears at the table or visible sadness. Sometimes it shows up as numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or a deep sense of not belonging in moments that are supposed to feel warm and familiar. The contrast between personal loss and public celebration can make grief feel sharper, more isolating, and harder to explain. Research shows that, each year, roughly 35-40% of Americans feel too sad or too stressed to celebrate the holidays due to loss, loneliness, and additional factors. 

Grief can also be unpredictable during this season. One moment you may feel okay while laughing at a memory or enjoying a small tradition and the next you may feel overwhelmed by a song, a scent, or an empty chair. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and no timeline you are expected to follow. Understanding what grief can look like during this time is not about fixing it or making it disappear, but about offering yourself compassion and permission to feel whatever comes, exactly as it is.

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Emotional Avoidance Behind Hyper-Independence

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Emotional Avoidance Behind Hyper-Independence

Hyper-independence is often celebrated in our culture as strength, resilience, and self-sufficiency. Yet, for many people, it is not just a preference, it is a protective strategy. At its core, hyper-independence can be a form of emotional avoidance, a way to manage uncomfortable feelings like fear, vulnerability, or shame. By relying solely on themselves and refusing help from others, hyper-independent individuals can avoid confronting emotions that feel unsafe, unfamiliar, or overwhelming. Over time, this pattern may create the illusion of control while actually limiting connection, intimacy, and personal growth.

Understanding the emotional roots of hyper-independence is essential for breaking the cycle. People who grew up in environments where asking for help was discouraged, unsafe, or met with criticism often learn to suppress emotional needs and rely entirely on themselves. While this strategy may have been adaptive in childhood, it can become limiting in adulthood, leading to isolation, burnout, and difficulty forming meaningful relationships. In this blog post, we will explore how emotional avoidance fuels hyper-independence and practical steps to start embracing connection and vulnerability safely. Read our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.”

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How Can I Increase My Concentration and Focus?

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How Can I Increase My Concentration and Focus?

In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining concentration and focus can feel like an uphill battle. Between constant notifications, multitasking, and mental fatigue, it is easy to get distracted and struggle to stay on task. Whether you are trying to excel at work, study more efficiently, or simply manage daily responsibilities, understanding how attention works and learning strategies to strengthen it can make a meaningful difference in your productivity and overall well-being.

Improving focus is not just about willpower, it involves creating the right environment, cultivating healthy habits, and training your brain to stay engaged. Small, intentional changes in your routine can have a significant impact, from minimizing distractions and organizing your workspace to practicing mindfulness and managing energy levels throughout the day. In this blog, we will explore practical, evidence-based ways to boost your concentration and sustain mental clarity so you can approach tasks with greater efficiency and confidence.

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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Career Counseling for Layoffs

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Career Counseling for Layoffs

Experiencing a layoff can trigger a profound emotional response- grief, anxiety, shame, and a loss of identity are all common reactions. As mental health professionals at Anchor Therapy, we understand that job loss is not just a financial disruption but a psychological upheaval that can deeply impact self-worth and emotional stability. The uncertainty of “what is next” can activate fear responses, especially when work has been tied closely to a sense of purpose or routine.

Career counseling through a mental health lens offers more than just job search strategies- it provides a compassionate space to process the emotional toll of a layoff. By integrating therapeutic techniques with practical career guidance, you can begin to heal, redefine your professional identity, and take steps forward that align with both your values and emotional well-being.

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

Grief does not just change how we feel- it can fundamentally alter who we believe we are. When someone close to you dies, especially a partner, parent, child, or lifelong friend, it is not only the relationship you lose, but also the roles you held in connection to them. A spouse becomes a widow, a daughter becomes an only child, a caregiver suddenly has no one to care for. These identity shifts can feel disorienting as if the ground beneath us has shifted and we are left searching for a new version of ourselves in the aftermath.

What makes this identity loss so profound is that it often goes unspoken. We expect grief to come with tears and sadness, but not with a crisis about yourself. Yet, many people find that after loss, they no longer recognize themselves or the life they imagined. The process of grieving, then, becomes not just about mourning the person who is gone, but about reconstructing an identity in a world that looks and feels entirely different than what you are used to.

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

Napping has long been viewed as a luxury or a habit reserved for the lazy, but recent research suggests that naps can actually be a powerful tool for improving mental health! In our busy, often sleep-deprived world, short naps have become an easy, accessible way to combat fatigue and enhance cognitive performance. When used wisely, naps can help boost mood, increase alertness, and provide a mental reset, making it easier to stay focused and tackle tasks with greater efficiency. Far from being a sign of laziness, taking time for a nap can be an essential practice for maintaining mental well-being in a demanding world.


The benefits of napping go beyond just feeling more awake. Regular naps can reduce stress, improve memory, and even lower the risk of developing anxiety or depression. With the rise of burnout and mental exhaustion, taking short breaks throughout the day, such as a quick nap, has been shown to be an effective way to recharge and maintain emotional balance. In this blog, we will explore the science behind napping and how incorporating this simple habit into your routine can have lasting positive effects on your mental health.

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

Personal growth goes beyond merely achieving your goals- it is all about changing how you think, feel, and respond to the challenges that life throws your way. One powerful therapeutic tool that can be used for personal transformation is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT is a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that was developed by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis. REBT helps you realize that your beliefs, not external events, are the real source of your emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts, you can create long-lasting emotional and behavioral change.


In this blog post, we will explore five practical ways REBT can help you grow whether you are looking for improved emotional control, better relationships, or a stronger sense of self. When you learn to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that hold you back, you can replace them with rational, empowering thoughts that support your personal growth journey. Let us dive into how REBT can help you become a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself!

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What Does OCD At Work Look Like?

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What Does OCD At Work Look Like?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often misunderstood as simply a quirk or a preference for neatness but, in a workplace setting, it can show up in ways that are much more complex and sometimes invisible to others. While movies might portray OCD as excessive hand-washing or color-coded organization, the reality for many professionals is an ongoing struggle with intrusive thoughts, perfectionism, and repetitive behaviors that can deeply impact their work performance, focus, and even relationships with colleagues.


In the workplace, OCD might manifest as double- or triple-checking emails before sending, re-reading documents endlessly out of fear of making a mistake, or feeling the urge to meet self-imposed, unattainably high standards. It could also mean avoiding certain tasks altogether due to fear of contamination, failure, or making a wrong decision. Understanding what OCD looks like in a professional environment is key not only for those experiencing it but also for managers and coworkers who want to foster a more inclusive and supportive workplace culture.

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

Dealing with behavioral issues in school can be challenging for both children and parents alike. Whether it is trouble focusing, acting out, or having difficulty following instructions, these behaviors can disrupt a child's learning and social development. As a parent, it is essential to understand that these challenges are often linked to underlying emotional or developmental factors. Instead of focusing on punishment, finding supportive, proactive strategies can help your child improve their behavior and feel more confident in their school environment.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to help your child navigate behavioral issues at school. From open communication with teachers to setting consistent routines at home, these strategies are designed to empower both parents and children. By taking a compassionate and solution-oriented approach, you can create a positive environment that supports your child’s growth and success, both academically and socially!

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5 Ways to Fix Stress-Induced Insomnia

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5 Ways to Fix Stress-Induced Insomnia

Stress and sleep have a complicated relationship- one that many of us know all too well! When life feels overwhelming, our minds do not always get the memo that it is time to wind down. Instead of drifting into peaceful slumber, we lie awake with racing thoughts, tense bodies, and a growing sense of frustration. Stress-induced insomnia can start as the occasional restless night, but over time it can spiral into a cycle of chronic sleeplessness that impacts every area of life, from focus and productivity to mood and overall health. Luckily, you are not powerless in the face of stress or sleepless nights. Understanding the connection between the two is the first step toward breaking that cycle.


In this post, we will walk through five practical and effective ways to address stress-induced insomnia. These strategies are not just about getting more sleep- they are about improving the quality of your rest by calming your nervous system and creating a more sleep-friendly mindset and environment. Whether you are someone who struggles to fall asleep, wakes up frequently through the night, or dread bedtime because of the stress it seems to bring, these techniques are designed to meet you where you are. From nighttime rituals and breathing exercises to simple lifestyle shifts, each method offers a realistic path toward more restful nights and more energized days.

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How Can I Control My Anxiety While Pregnant?

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How Can I Control My Anxiety While Pregnant?

Pregnancy can be an exciting yet overwhelming time and, for many, anxiety can become an unexpected challenge. The physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that come with pregnancy may trigger feelings of worry, stress, and fear about the future. Managing anxiety during this period is crucial not only for your well-being but also for the health of your baby. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and seek ways to navigate this rollercoaster of emotions in a calm and healthy manner!


There are several strategies that can help you maintain peace of mind during pregnancy, from deep breathing exercises and mindfulness practices to physical activities that reduce tension. Connecting with a supportive network of friends, family, or women’s health professionals can also provide comfort and reassurance. In this blog, we will explore some of the most effective ways to manage anxiety while pregnant, ensuring that you can enjoy this beautiful journey with more calm and confidence.

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EMDR In A Nutshell

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EMDR In A Nutshell

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique designed to help you  process and heal from traumatic experiences. It was developed in the late 1980s by Francine Shapiro and has since become a widely recognized treatment for trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation, often through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories. This process helps you reframe negative thoughts and emotions associated with traumatic events, allowing you to experience relief and healing.


Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR focuses on processing the memories that contribute to emotional distress rather than simply discussing them. Therefore, EMDR is a somatic therapy, or a body-centered type of counseling. The therapy is conducted in a structured format, where your EMDR therapist at Anchor Therapy guides you through different stages, including identifying distressing memories, targeting specific emotions, and using the bilateral stimulation to facilitate reprocessing. Over time, this helps to reduce the emotional charge attached to those memories, making them less intrusive and more manageable. Research has shown significant success in treating a range of mental health conditions, including PTSD, anxiety, and depression, with EMDR.

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