grief from friend breakup

Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

What is friendship grief?

Losing a friend can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences one may experience. Friendships are manufactured around understanding and trust. After that trust and bond are broken, it can leave us with an empty gap in our hearts that may never be restored the same as it was with that one friend. Just like any relationship breakup, whether it be romantic or a friendship, one of the most complex parts of the adjustment is accepting that things will never go back to normal. Accepting that that valuable connection you once shared with someone is now absent. 

Why losing a friend hurts so much:

Losing a friend can feel like losing a piece of yourself. The emotional intimacy shared with a close friend can be as powerful as a romantic partner. No matter why or how the friendship ended, the feeling of being unwanted by someone you once shared a strong connection with is challenging to endure. If your friend is the one who breaks the friendship, it can leave you heartbroken. Having a best friend provides you with a sense of security and someone who you associate a majority of your memories with, good and bad. A close friend may have gotten you through a difficult time in your life or helped you progress through certain aspects of your life.

The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

Spoilers ahead if you didn’t watch both seasons of the show The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon Prime Video

The Summer I Turned Pretty is a teen drama based on the book series written by Jenny Han. It follows a young teen, Belly, and her journey through young adulthood. This summer is a bit different than the previous summers. Belly seems to have had a glow-up, making her feel more ambitious. She decides to be a bit rebellious and break out of her “goody-two-shoes” mindset - like going to parties, flirting with boys, and even skinny dipping. On the surface, The Summer I Turned Pretty can seem like your average teen romance show, however, it takes a turn as the season progresses. 

Belly, her mom (Laurel), and her brother (Steven) stay with a family friend, Susannah, and her two boys, Jeremiah and Conrad, every summer. Since they’ve been going to the summer house for so many years, they have basically all become one big family. Over time, we start to find out that Susannah is suffering from terminal cancer. Obviously, this is a lot to take in for everyone in the family and it can be incredibly traumatic. Not only Belly is dealing with this huge life transition, but she also has to stomach the fact that she may lose her second Mom. Ultimately, by season 2, Susannah sadly passes. Every main character of the show deals with grief in their own way, and you may be able to relate to them. You can even see how the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) can tie into each character’s experiences.

If you or a loved one are going through the grief process and would like to know more about it and possible counseling options, check out these blogs:

Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

Grief is complicated. When you experience the loss of a loved one, you will soon come to understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve- everyone’s journey with grief looks different. When you understand the stages and type of grief, you can also discover healthier ways to cope with this life transition.

Plainly, grief is the experience of coping with loss. While one of the most common occurrences of grief is losing a loved one, grief can actually accompany many events which have the ability to disrupt our lives and versions of ‘normalcy.’ Loss is a natural part of life, and it is normal to grieve after experiencing a form of loss. You suffer emotionally when you feel like someone or something has been taken from you.

The pain that accompanies loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience many difficult emotions during your grieving period, including shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and intense sadness. Grief can also pain you physically, triggering sleep issues or brain fogginess. Believe it or not, all of these reactions to loss are normal. The bigger the loss is, the more intense you can expect your grief to be.

3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

If you have ever lost a best friend, you know how painful the process can be. Sometimes, losing a best friend can hurt more than losing a significant other. The truth is that friendship breakups are not easy. Whether you simply drifted apart from your friend or had a falling out and experienced a damaging situation, you can properly heal with a friendship breakup.

You may be reminiscing or even beating up on yourself, thinking of what went wrong and what you could have done differently. It is a normal human reaction to think about these things, but the constant thoughts surrounding your friendship breakup can keep it fresh in your mind which only reminds you of how much you miss your friend.
A part of the healing process is to reflect on your friendship, and the memories you and your best friend created together. It can be difficult to move on after this life transition if you continuously “obsess” over your friendship and what could have been. When you learn how to stop overthinking and properly control your emotions, you can regain your focus and move forward in life with a new perspective.