toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
trauma counseling, nyc counselor, nj therapist, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.

A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.

This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.

How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

Career Counseling Pages

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Is Perfectionism A Coping Skill?

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Is Perfectionism A Coping Skill?

Perfectionism is often seen as a good thing. Since when has wanting things to be too perfect a problem? In reality, being a perfectionist can be a double-edged sword. Perhaps you are a self-described overachiever. You excel no matter where you are- at home with family and taking care of children, at work as a business owner, or in school getting a graduate degree for example. While this is all great, being a perfectionist can be a bit of a liability as well. It just depends where you are on the scale of perfectionism. 

As a perfectionist, you may judge yourself in an excessive and overly-critical way. You have high standards for yourself, and you refuse to settle for less. In this way, perfectionism can manifest by being self-critical. It can even extend to wanting to control the people around you or other situations you are in. To learn more, check out our popular blog “7 Ways to Let Go or Control Issues.”

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4 Ways to Deal with Financial Stress

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4 Ways to Deal with Financial Stress

Financial stress is not uncommon for many Americans. Financial stress and uncertainty are an inevitable part of life for a lot of people. Maybe you are someone who is trying to pay off student loans. Perhaps unexpected expenses have popped up and now you have to deal with it. Or maybe you are going through something more temporary like the loss of a job. For more information, check out our blog “Navigating Job Loss with Career Counseling.”

Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, it was estimated that over 72% of Americans have had financial concerns at some point in time according to the American Psychological Association (APA). With the current cost of living on the rise, financial struggles and hardships become a part of the equation. 

Like any other form of stress, financial stress can negatively impact many aspects of your life, including taking a toll on your mental and physical health. Your relationships and overall quality of life can be affected as well. Money worries can go as far as to impact your energy levels, ability to get a good night’s sleep, and self-esteem. If you do not know how to exercise healthy coping skills, you may turn to unhealthy habits, such as smoking or drinking. No matter how you feel right now, there are stress therapists at Anchor Therapy who can help you regain control of your life and ease your stress levels.

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Can You Be A Successful Entrepreneur and Be In A Relationship?

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Can You Be A Successful Entrepreneur and Be In A Relationship?

As an entrepreneur, it is likely that you spend a significant amount of time working on your business. Do you feel like date nights are out of reach for you? If you have a partner, do you feel like you are two ships passing each other in the middle of the night? These are all common facets being in a relationship as a business owner, but you can change this dynamic if it is not working for your relationship.

Just like your business, being in a relationship requires love, care, time, and attention. So, is it possible to manage being a business owner and being in a romantic relationship? Absolutely! Keep reading for more information and tips on growing the relationships in your life, whether romantic or with family and friends, as a business owner.

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Navigating Job Loss with Career Counseling

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Navigating Job Loss with Career Counseling

As the 2023 year progressed, Americans witnessed a cooling of the job market which, in turn, caused the self-confidence levels of workers to decrease. High interest rates, inflation, and general financial stress has caused anxiety amongst everyone, including those who are in the process of a job transition.

Whether you have been laid off, downsized, or forced to take an early retirement, losing employment is one of life’s most stressful occurrences. If you recently lost your job, you are not alone. Besides the obvious financial ramifications of losing your job, it can also have a negative impact on your mood, relationships, friendships, and overall mental and emotional health. The lack of clarity you feel when you lose your job is strong but, luckily, there are things you can do to make yourself feel better.

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Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

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Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

When you are on the hunt for a job, you likely have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind. Maybe you want to find a job that has the same values that you hold. Perhaps you care more about a healthy work-life balance. Whatever your goals are, you probably are not adding “get a therapist” to the never-ending to-do list, but a career counselor can help you with job hunting.

That is to say, you can find solace in an unlikely place during your career search- a therapist’s office. If you are unsure about your professional path, working with a certified career coach can help you outline the best career choices for you according to your personality, interests, and more.

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

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3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance has been in the news a lot recently, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Whether you are a leader at a company or just starting out in your professional life, achieving work-life balance is key to being engaged and happy both while in and out of the office. When you have a healthy work-life balance, you are able to excel at work and take care of your personal needs and responsibilities.

It is very typical for work to take precedence over everything else in our lives. Your own desire to succeed professionally and financially can take you away from your own well-being, family members, and friends. Making sure that you achieve a healthy level of work-life integration is important for not only your career, but your physical, mental, and emotional health as well.

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8 Best Jobs For People With Social Anxiety

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8 Best Jobs For People With Social Anxiety

When you have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), it can be difficult to find a job that you like, let alone a job you excel at. It can seem like almost every job available requires you to closely interact with others on a daily basis. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with social anxiety, the last thing you want to do is work hand-in-hand with other people. But, find peace in knowing that there are jobs out there that are perfect for people with social anxiety!

The best job for someone living with SAD is a job that lets you pursue your dreams and expand your skills while not risking your mental wellbeing. Some of these jobs may include working with a few people instead of overwhelmingly large groups. On the other hand, if you have social anxiety and are looking to challenge yourself, you may find it more beneficial to take a job that pushes you outside of your comfort zone.

Before we dive into the best jobs for people with social anxiety, let us talk about what social anxiety exactly is…

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

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Career Counseling: Protect Your Mental Health During A Job Change

Are you uninterested in your current job? Do you dislike your workplace with a passion? If you answered “yes” to either or both of these questions, it is time to get real with yourself. Why do you stay at a job that you hate?

While there are many reasons why you may make the active decision to stay at a job you dislike, one of the biggest factors is likely financial security and general fear. While you may think that staying at this job is the right choice, you are not doing yourself any favors. Even if you examine your job positively and try to focus on the benefits, you can still do damage to your mental health if the cons outweigh the advantages.

Maybe a career shift is right for you, but it is an understandably scary process! It can be a time of great uncertainty which can fuel any existing mental health problems. If you are looking to change professional paths, safeguarding your mental health is essential.

For many people, our jobs can unfortunately be a factor that contributes to one’s poor mental health. However, the negative impact that your job has on your well-being can be corrected when you decide to make the brave choice to walk away from a toxic work environment or, generally, a job that does not serve you.

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When Is It Time To Quit A Job?

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When Is It Time To Quit A Job?

It seems like everywhere you turn, people are talking about “The Great Resignation.” Simply, “The Great Resignation” refers to the economic trend where people are voluntarily resigning from their respective jobs. Therefore, the subject of quitting has never been more popular. While there are many reasons why people may quit their jobs, the most common causes we are seeing are that the job fails to meet the employee’s needs or the job negatively impacts the employee’s mental health.

Safeguarding your mental health at work is undeniably important; however, it has become increasingly hard to do. With electronic devices that provide immediate connection, it is easy to feel like you must always be on the clock. As it already is, we spend a considerable amount of time at work, and the emotional effects of working can transfer into our personal lives. It is crucial to know when to quit your job to protect your mental health.

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How To Manage Stress While Working In The Financial Industry

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How To Manage Stress While Working In The Financial Industry

Having a career in the financial industry can be challenging to say the least. Long hours, constant pressure, intense competition, and short term deadlines tend to be the norm in the business. Company culture tries to support a work-life balance, but often you find yourself not even able to get up to go to the bathroom, let alone think about self-care!

Today, due to COVID-19, you find that there is more stress at work. The financial industry is constantly changing with the concerns over the impact of COVID-19 on the market and businesses. Companies are trying to find a way to operate on the bare minimum to save money, resulting in less staff and resources. You find your work load is increasing and you are feeling stretched to the limit. Not only are you trying to accomplish work demands, but you are also trying to adjust to working from home. The already fine line between work and home life has become blurred. Vacations are basically non-existent and socializing is limited. With high expectations, limited time off and constant access to your work at home, how do you manage it all? When do you give yourself a break?

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

The pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone, but one group of people who are experiencing increased symptoms of depression are athletes. Since March 2020, most sports were completely cancelled. Now that the fall is starting up with a new sports season, some sports are able to return. But a lot of sports remain cancelled or postponed. Athletes find a lot of purpose, motivation, and validation from competing in their sport. Due to COVID-19, this may be the first time in many years that an athlete does not have their sport to train for and feels empty.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

A lot of people are having difficulty finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As working from home continues for most due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most people did not expect to work from home for this long, it is likely to continue for a longer period of time. As a mental health professional, I list some tips that i tell my clients which can also help you make it through this difficult time.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19

Over the last few months I have been hearing one issue time and time again for many, if not all, of my clients attending therapy who are working from home: the difficulty between finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As we approach the 6th month of working from home due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most did not anticipate working from home for this long, it seems as if this is a likely reality for many moving forward. (Google just announced their workers would be working from home until summer 2021).

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11 Tips To Working From Home If You Have Anxiety or Depression

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11 Tips To Working From Home If You Have Anxiety or Depression

Millions of people experience anxiety and/or depression in their lifetime. Due to the spread of COVID-19, we have been physically isolated from others. This has caused a spike in mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. In addition to these increasing symptoms of anxiety and depression, you are expected to work your full-time job from home (if you are lucky enough that your job allows you to make this transition). It has become difficult to manage your mental health along with this major adjustment of working from home. Below I will go through realistic tips on how you can manage working from home if you are also experiencing any level of anxiety and/or depression.

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How Taking Breaks Can Help Your Mental Health

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How Taking Breaks Can Help Your Mental Health

Whether you’re a student, a working professional, or a stay-at-home parent, you need to take breaks. Taking a break can look differently for each person. the overall goal is to stop doing whatever you’re doing long enough that you feel re-energized when you return to it. That’s why employers give you paid time off (PTO) and sick time. That’s why there are things called, “study breaks”. And that’s why there’s a saying, “come back to it when you can”. When taking breaks, there could be a lot of feelings that arise such as guilt as a break could feel like a waste of time and unproductive. I will discuss why this is not actually the case.

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11 Self-Care Tips For Teachers

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11 Self-Care Tips For Teachers

With the end of summer, comes the beginning of a new school year. a lot of teachers have a hard time transitioning back into school mode along with their students. It’s always a big change to go from a carefree summer to a stressful school year. There are so many different stressors that teachers experience throughout the school year. It’s extra important that they schedule in time for self-care throughout the school year. The best time to start a new self-care habit is at the beginning of a new routine. So it’s most helpful to start now.

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What You Need To Know About Work-Related Anxiety

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What You Need To Know About Work-Related Anxiety

A lot of adults have a hard time turning off their work stress outside of working hours. This leads most people to feel anxious and find themselves up all night worrying. A lot of young professionals experience having a hard time creating a healthy work-life balance. Usually the stress of their job is staying with them outside of working hours and seeping into their daily life. They find it hard to fall asleep, enjoy themselves and/or relax when they are off the clock. This usually leads to burnout.

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How Counseling Can Help Your Career

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How Counseling Can Help Your Career

Career counseling is something that you can get from seeing a psychotherapist. Usually people who need help or guidance with their career path will turn to a business coach or a career coach. While a coach can definitely be helpful, they will not be able to sort through the emotional side of your decision making. They are not licensed professionals who can help decrease your stress during this process. As psychotherapists, we are trained to help our clients figure out not only their future goals but the best way that will get them there based on where they’re at currently. That usually looks different for each person.

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Life Of The Retired Athlete: How To Fight Depression And Anxiety

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Life Of The Retired Athlete: How To Fight Depression And Anxiety

Professional athletes face a high risk of experiencing mental health issues including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse after they retire. The research shows that elite athletes spend most of their lives focused on perfecting themselves so that they can be the best of the best at their sport. There is usually a specific end goal of winning a championship or even an Olympic medal. Most athletes reach their peak at a young age and retire from their competitive sport early in life. Nowadays, there are a lot of opportunities for athletes to get a degree while pursuing their professional sport so that they are left with other options for a career when they retire. Most professional athletes are used to earning a large income and are given free perks throughout their career. They are used to receiving attention and are noticed by the public. Once they retire this may disappear. They may find it hard to keep up with the lifestyle they once had easy access to. IT can feel devastating to watch your social media follower number decrease over time. These are some factors that can contribute to a retired athlete to feel unfulfilled. This may lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and they may turn to substance use to help mask these feelings.