Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

anxiety counseling jersey city nj

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What Is My Parenting Style?

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What Is My Parenting Style?

Positive parenting can go a long way in building an emotionally healthy life for your child. Your parenting style can impact very important aspects of your child’s life, from their self-esteem to their ability to succeed in a scholastic environment. The way you interact with your child and discipline your child will have an influence on them for the rest of their lives!


Oftentimes, many parents want to know what parenting style they are using and which is the best parenting style overall. In all honesty, there is no one “right” way to parent- there is no universal code that all families should know. Deciding how to raise a child is a concern that all parents grapple with at one point or another. Whether you are raising a child all on your own or with the help of a significant other, many parents just want the best for their kid which can trigger a lot of anxiety over which parenting style to choose. Parenting styles can vary from person-to-person but researchers have narrowed parenting styles down into four distinct categories generally speaking.

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

Climate change anxiety, often referred to as "eco-anxiety," is becoming more prevalent as the effects of global warming continue to intensify. Many people, especially younger generations, feel overwhelmed by the growing threats of rising temperatures, extreme weather events, and environmental degradation. This sense of helplessness can lead to stress, fear, and uncertainty about the future. While it is natural to be concerned about the state of the planet, it is crucial to find ways to manage these feelings in order to stay motivated and proactive in addressing the climate crisis.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to overcome climate change anxiety and regain a sense of agency. By shifting focus from feelings of helplessness to actions we can take, we can foster hope and resilience in the face of environmental challenges. Whether it is through personal lifestyle changes, connecting with others, or engaging in advocacy, these strategies will help you manage anxiety and feel empowered to contribute to positive change. Understanding that small actions matter and that collective efforts can lead to meaningful impact is key to navigating eco-anxiety in a healthy, productive way!

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

Napping has long been viewed as a luxury or a habit reserved for the lazy, but recent research suggests that naps can actually be a powerful tool for improving mental health! In our busy, often sleep-deprived world, short naps have become an easy, accessible way to combat fatigue and enhance cognitive performance. When used wisely, naps can help boost mood, increase alertness, and provide a mental reset, making it easier to stay focused and tackle tasks with greater efficiency. Far from being a sign of laziness, taking time for a nap can be an essential practice for maintaining mental well-being in a demanding world.


The benefits of napping go beyond just feeling more awake. Regular naps can reduce stress, improve memory, and even lower the risk of developing anxiety or depression. With the rise of burnout and mental exhaustion, taking short breaks throughout the day, such as a quick nap, has been shown to be an effective way to recharge and maintain emotional balance. In this blog, we will explore the science behind napping and how incorporating this simple habit into your routine can have lasting positive effects on your mental health.

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

Personal growth goes beyond merely achieving your goals- it is all about changing how you think, feel, and respond to the challenges that life throws your way. One powerful therapeutic tool that can be used for personal transformation is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT is a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that was developed by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis. REBT helps you realize that your beliefs, not external events, are the real source of your emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts, you can create long-lasting emotional and behavioral change.


In this blog post, we will explore five practical ways REBT can help you grow whether you are looking for improved emotional control, better relationships, or a stronger sense of self. When you learn to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that hold you back, you can replace them with rational, empowering thoughts that support your personal growth journey. Let us dive into how REBT can help you become a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself!

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What Is A Situationship?

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What Is A Situationship?

In today's dating landscape, the lines between friendship and romance are often blurred, giving rise to a relationship status that is confusing and increasingly common: the situationship. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships lack clear labels, boundaries, or expectations yet they often involve emotional intimacy, physical connection, and the routines of a romantic partnership. You might find yourself texting every day, going on dates, and even meeting each other's friends without ever having “the talk” or being exclusive. And while that ambiguity might seem freeing at first, it can quickly become a source of stress and uncertainty depending on your personality and relationship goals. 

This blog explores the emotional gray area of situationships- why people enter them, what they offer, and when they might start doing more harm than good. Whether you are currently in one, just got out of one and healing, or are trying to make sense of someone else’s, this space is for unpacking the messy middle ground of modern relationships. Because sometimes, the most complicated relationships are the ones that were never officially defined!

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Career Counseling for Reentering the Workforce

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Career Counseling for Reentering the Workforce

Taking the step to reenter the workforce after a career break- whether due to parenting, caregiving, illness, or other life transitions- can feel both exciting and overwhelming. Many individuals face questions about how their skills measure up in today’s job market, how to explain gaps in their resumes, and whether they are truly ready- emotionally and professionally- to dive back in. That is where career counseling, especially when rooted in mental health support, plays a powerful role. It is not just about polishing a resume; it is about rebuilding confidence, clarifying goals, and creating a plan that honors both your professional aspirations and personal well-being. For more information, check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.” 

At Anchor Therapy, our career counselors understand that returning to work is not just a career decision- it is a life transition. Research indicates that 74% of individuals who take a career break end up rejoining the workforce. Our career counseling services are designed to help you navigate this journey with clarity and resilience. Whether you are exploring a new path or returning to a familiar field, we provide guidance that integrates practical job-search strategies with emotional support, helping you reenter the workforce on your own terms.

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

In today’s hyperconnected world, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily routines. They offer a constant stream of content, instant communication, and the ability to stay in touch with friends, trends, and news from around the world. However, as our screen time increases, so do concerns about its impact on mental health, particularly depression. More people, especially teens and young adults, report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety after prolonged exposure to curated online lives and unrealistic standards of success or beauty.

While social media can foster a sense of community, validation, and self-expression, it can also fuel harmful cycles of comparison, cyberbullying, and information overload. The contrast between someone’s highlight reel and one’s real life can leave users feeling inadequate or isolated. Researchers and mental health professionals are actively studying the relationship between social media use and depressive symptoms, raising important questions about how these platforms might influence our emotional well-being in both positive and negative ways.

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What Does OCD At Work Look Like?

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What Does OCD At Work Look Like?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often misunderstood as simply a quirk or a preference for neatness but, in a workplace setting, it can show up in ways that are much more complex and sometimes invisible to others. While movies might portray OCD as excessive hand-washing or color-coded organization, the reality for many professionals is an ongoing struggle with intrusive thoughts, perfectionism, and repetitive behaviors that can deeply impact their work performance, focus, and even relationships with colleagues.


In the workplace, OCD might manifest as double- or triple-checking emails before sending, re-reading documents endlessly out of fear of making a mistake, or feeling the urge to meet self-imposed, unattainably high standards. It could also mean avoiding certain tasks altogether due to fear of contamination, failure, or making a wrong decision. Understanding what OCD looks like in a professional environment is key not only for those experiencing it but also for managers and coworkers who want to foster a more inclusive and supportive workplace culture.

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

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5 Ways to Help Your Children with Behavioral Issues in School

Dealing with behavioral issues in school can be challenging for both children and parents alike. Whether it is trouble focusing, acting out, or having difficulty following instructions, these behaviors can disrupt a child's learning and social development. As a parent, it is essential to understand that these challenges are often linked to underlying emotional or developmental factors. Instead of focusing on punishment, finding supportive, proactive strategies can help your child improve their behavior and feel more confident in their school environment.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to help your child navigate behavioral issues at school. From open communication with teachers to setting consistent routines at home, these strategies are designed to empower both parents and children. By taking a compassionate and solution-oriented approach, you can create a positive environment that supports your child’s growth and success, both academically and socially!

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5 Ways to Fix Stress-Induced Insomnia

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5 Ways to Fix Stress-Induced Insomnia

Stress and sleep have a complicated relationship- one that many of us know all too well! When life feels overwhelming, our minds do not always get the memo that it is time to wind down. Instead of drifting into peaceful slumber, we lie awake with racing thoughts, tense bodies, and a growing sense of frustration. Stress-induced insomnia can start as the occasional restless night, but over time it can spiral into a cycle of chronic sleeplessness that impacts every area of life, from focus and productivity to mood and overall health. Luckily, you are not powerless in the face of stress or sleepless nights. Understanding the connection between the two is the first step toward breaking that cycle.


In this post, we will walk through five practical and effective ways to address stress-induced insomnia. These strategies are not just about getting more sleep- they are about improving the quality of your rest by calming your nervous system and creating a more sleep-friendly mindset and environment. Whether you are someone who struggles to fall asleep, wakes up frequently through the night, or dread bedtime because of the stress it seems to bring, these techniques are designed to meet you where you are. From nighttime rituals and breathing exercises to simple lifestyle shifts, each method offers a realistic path toward more restful nights and more energized days.

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Can You Grieve Before Someone Dies?

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Can You Grieve Before Someone Dies?

Grief is often thought of as something that begins after a loss, a shadow that remains after a loved one passes. But for many, the grieving process starts long before a final goodbye. Whether it is a terminal diagnosis, a slow decline from a disease, or the fading of someone you love due to emotional or physical distance, anticipatory grief can hit just as hard (sometimes even harder) than the mourning that comes later. It is a quiet, complex sorrow, often misunderstood or left unspoken, that lives in the space between hope and reality.

Anticipatory grief challenges the way we think about loss. It is not just sadness- it is fear, guilt, helplessness, and even moments of clarity and gratitude all tangled together. You might find yourself grieving memories that have not yet been made, or mourning a relationship that is changing rapidly right before your eyes. In this blog post, we will explore what anticipatory grief really feels like, why it happens, and how to navigate it with compassion for yourself and others.

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Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety

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Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can be an overwhelming and isolating experience, causing individuals to avoid situations that may trigger feelings of nervousness, embarrassment, or self-consciousness. Fortunately, one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety is exposure therapy. This therapeutic approach involves gradually and systematically exposing yourself to social situations in a controlled and supportive environment, helping you confront your fears without avoidance. Over time, this process helps to reduce anxiety, build confidence, and challenge the negative thought patterns that fuel social fears.


Exposure therapy works by allowing individuals to face their anxieties step by step, starting with less intimidating situations and slowly progressing to more challenging scenarios. This gradual exposure helps desensitize the individual to the feared stimuli, ultimately allowing them to experience social interactions without feeling overwhelmed. By practicing in real-world contexts, individuals can reframe their perceptions of social situations and learn that their fears are often exaggerated. Through consistent exposure and the guidance of a trained social anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, individuals with social anxiety can build the tools needed to navigate social environments with greater ease and comfort.

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Everything You Need to Know about CBT for Postpartum Depression

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Everything You Need to Know about CBT for Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression, simply referred to as PPD, is a serious mental health condition that affects many new mothers, often leaving them feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and uncertain. The arrival of a newborn is typically a time of joy, but the emotional and psychological toll of this major life transition can be significant. Luckily, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is an evidence-based treatment that has been proven to be a highly effective treatment for PPD. CBT for PPD offers new mothers tools to manage their mental health symptoms, challenge negative thought patterns, and construct healthier coping skills. Whether you are struggling with PPD yourself or know someone who is struggling, understanding how CBT works can make a big difference in the journey towards healing.


In this blog, we will dive into everything you need to know about CBT for PPD. You will learn how CBT targets the root causes of depression, its benefits, and how it can be integrated into your mental health treatment plan. If you are ready to learn more about how CBT can help ease the challenges of PPD, keep reading!

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How Can I Control My Anxiety While Pregnant?

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How Can I Control My Anxiety While Pregnant?

Pregnancy can be an exciting yet overwhelming time and, for many, anxiety can become an unexpected challenge. The physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that come with pregnancy may trigger feelings of worry, stress, and fear about the future. Managing anxiety during this period is crucial not only for your well-being but also for the health of your baby. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and seek ways to navigate this rollercoaster of emotions in a calm and healthy manner!


There are several strategies that can help you maintain peace of mind during pregnancy, from deep breathing exercises and mindfulness practices to physical activities that reduce tension. Connecting with a supportive network of friends, family, or women’s health professionals can also provide comfort and reassurance. In this blog, we will explore some of the most effective ways to manage anxiety while pregnant, ensuring that you can enjoy this beautiful journey with more calm and confidence.

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EMDR In A Nutshell

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EMDR In A Nutshell

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique designed to help you  process and heal from traumatic experiences. It was developed in the late 1980s by Francine Shapiro and has since become a widely recognized treatment for trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation, often through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories. This process helps you reframe negative thoughts and emotions associated with traumatic events, allowing you to experience relief and healing.


Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR focuses on processing the memories that contribute to emotional distress rather than simply discussing them. Therefore, EMDR is a somatic therapy, or a body-centered type of counseling. The therapy is conducted in a structured format, where your EMDR therapist at Anchor Therapy guides you through different stages, including identifying distressing memories, targeting specific emotions, and using the bilateral stimulation to facilitate reprocessing. Over time, this helps to reduce the emotional charge attached to those memories, making them less intrusive and more manageable. Research has shown significant success in treating a range of mental health conditions, including PTSD, anxiety, and depression, with EMDR.

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is a common struggle many people face, often turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, sadness, or even boredom. Instead of eating out of hunger, emotional eating involves using food as a source of comfort which can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices. This cycle can be difficult to break, especially when food provides temporary relief from overwhelming emotions. However, recognizing the pattern is the first step toward gaining control and developing healthier habits!


Overcoming emotional eating requires a combination of mindfulness, emotional awareness, and practical strategies. By understanding the emotional triggers behind your cravings and finding alternative ways to address them, you can build a healthier relationship with food. In this blog, we will explore six effective strategies to help you break free from emotional eating, regain control of your eating habits, and foster a more balanced and mindful approach to food.

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

Hoboken, New Jersey is a vibrant city known for its waterfront views, bustling streets, and tight-knit community. However, like any urban area, it is not immune to crises- whether it is flooding from heavy storms, power outages, or public transit disruptions. Being prepared and knowing how to navigate emergencies can make all the difference in staying safe and minimizing the impact on your daily life. By staying informed, planning ahead, and tapping into local resources, Hoboken residents can confidently handle unexpected challenges.


From emergency alerts to evacuation routes, having a solid plan in place is crucial. Hoboken’s geography makes it particularly susceptible to flooding and, with its dense population, transit delays and power outages can quickly escalate into major disruptions. In recent years, the community has also endured deeply unsettling events, including multiple building lockdowns due to active threats requiring SWAT intervention, as well as a frightening school incident where a student threatened violence, forcing children and parents to endure repeated lockdowns. In this guide, we will cover five essential ways to stay ahead of potential crises, ensuring that you and your loved ones remain safe and mentally resilient no matter what comes your way.

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What is the mind-gut connection?

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What is the mind-gut connection?

The mind-gut connection is a powerful and often overlooked link between our brain and digestive system. In fact, more and more research comes out every year on how the gut is an active player in our emotional and mental health. In fact, research shows that some gut microbiota (also known as microorganisms) were connected to some mental health disorders, such as anxiety, depression, anorexia nervosa, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and more. This connection is largely driven by the vagus nerve, which links the brain to the gut, enabling communication between the two. The gut is home to trillions of bacteria, known as the gut microbiome, which influence a variety of bodily functions, including digestion, immunity, and even mood regulation. Check out our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions.”


The mind-gut connection works both ways, meaning that what we think and feel can also impact our digestive health. For example, when we experience stress or anxiety, our body releases hormones like cortisol, which can affect gut function and lead to digestive issues such as bloating, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), or even stomach ulcers. On the other hand, a healthy gut can promote positive mental health, enhancing mood and reducing stress. If you struggle with stress, read our blog “Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy.” Understanding the intricate relationship between our brain and gut is a crucial step toward achieving overall wellness since both physical and mental health are deeply intertwined.

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

Love is a powerful emotion. It can sweep you off of your feet, feel euphoric, and be a source of immense happiness. However, when love starts to feel like an obsession or dependency, it may hint that there is a deeper issue going on. The sense of being “addicted” to love often comes from your brain’s response to the emotional highs of being in a romantic connection with someone. When you fall in love, your brain releases a host of feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals can create a sense of pleasure and attachment. Over time, you may become dependent on these neurochemical ‘boosts’. In other words, your association of love to intense feelings of validation and joy makes you crave love even more.


There is a point in time where a longing for love can become too intense and turn into emotional dependency. Some signs of this may be constantly seeking external validation  or falling into unhealthy cycles of emotional highs and lows with someone, even if it is a toxic connection. For more information on this, check out our blog “How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship.” The desire to feel loved, cherished, or wanted is at the core of the human experience, but it may cloud your sense of self-worth over time. Not being in a romantic relationship should not make you feel incomplete. Understanding why love feels like an addiction and your relationship to love is the first step toward breaking free from unhealthy patterns and learning how to nurture healthier, more balanced relationships.

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