Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

depression in men

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The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

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The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

Men are often taught to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved which can make depression in men harder to recognize and even harder to talk about. Unlike the stereotypical image of sadness or tears, male depression often shows up as irritability, anger, exhaustion, or withdrawal. Many men struggle in silence, dismissing their symptoms as stress or burnout, while the weight of untreated depression continues to grow.

Recognizing the early warning signs can be life-changing. From sudden mood shifts and loss of interest in activities to changes in sleep, work performance, or risky behavior, these signals should not be ignored. Understanding what depression looks like in men is the first step toward breaking stigma, encouraging honest conversations, and seeking the right support before things escalate.

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

Life in Hoboken can be fast-paced, vibrant, and full of little stressors, from the morning rush along Washington Street to navigating crowded weekend spots by the waterfront. Amid the city’s energy, it is easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, anxiety, or frustration over things beyond your control. That is where Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) comes in. REBT offers practical tools to help you identify irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with healthier, more rational ways of thinking which turns everyday stress into opportunities for calm and clarity.

For Hoboken residents, applying REBT does not always mean setting aside hours for therapy sessions. It is about using simple, everyday strategies to respond more effectively to life’s challenges whether that is dealing with traffic on Sinatra Drive, handling work stress, or navigating social pressures in a tightly knit community. By integrating REBT into your daily routine, you can develop a mindset that’s both resilient and rational, helping you enjoy Hoboken’s unique charm without letting small frustrations take over!

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, togetherness, and celebration but for those who are grieving, they can feel heavy, disorienting, and painfully quiet all at once. Grief during the holidays does not always look like tears at the table or visible sadness. Sometimes it shows up as numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or a deep sense of not belonging in moments that are supposed to feel warm and familiar. The contrast between personal loss and public celebration can make grief feel sharper, more isolating, and harder to explain. Research shows that, each year, roughly 35-40% of Americans feel too sad or too stressed to celebrate the holidays due to loss, loneliness, and additional factors. 

Grief can also be unpredictable during this season. One moment you may feel okay while laughing at a memory or enjoying a small tradition and the next you may feel overwhelmed by a song, a scent, or an empty chair. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and no timeline you are expected to follow. Understanding what grief can look like during this time is not about fixing it or making it disappear, but about offering yourself compassion and permission to feel whatever comes, exactly as it is.

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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Career Counseling for Layoffs

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Career Counseling for Layoffs

Experiencing a layoff can trigger a profound emotional response- grief, anxiety, shame, and a loss of identity are all common reactions. As mental health professionals at Anchor Therapy, we understand that job loss is not just a financial disruption but a psychological upheaval that can deeply impact self-worth and emotional stability. The uncertainty of “what is next” can activate fear responses, especially when work has been tied closely to a sense of purpose or routine.

Career counseling through a mental health lens offers more than just job search strategies- it provides a compassionate space to process the emotional toll of a layoff. By integrating therapeutic techniques with practical career guidance, you can begin to heal, redefine your professional identity, and take steps forward that align with both your values and emotional well-being.

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

Highly functional depression is often hidden behind smiles and success. It is a form of depression where you may appear to manage daily responsibilities- work, relationships, and social interactions- while silently struggling with persistent emotional pain. Unlike major depressive episodes that can be visibly debilitating, highly functional depression allows people to "keep it together" externally, making it difficult for others to notice anything is wrong. It is commonly associated with dysthymia, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a long-term, low-grade form of depression that can subtly drain a person’s joy and motivation over time. According to research from the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1.5% of United States adults experience dysthymia within a given year.

What makes this condition particularly challenging is that those experiencing it often feel invalidated or misunderstood. If you resonate with high-functioning depression, you might dismiss your own suffering because you are still achieving goals or receiving praise, leading to guilt, burnout, and a worsening emotional state. In this blog, we will unpack the signs, causes, and consequences of highly functional depression and, most importantly, explore steps toward healing even when everything “seems fine” on the outside.

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Is Doomscrolling Really That Bad?

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Is Doomscrolling Really That Bad?

Doomscrolling, the act of endlessly scrolling through negative or distressing news on social media, has become an all-too-familiar habit in today’s digital age. While it may seem like a harmless way to pass the time, research suggests that this constant exposure to unsettling information can have a real toll on our mental health. The more we consume, the more likely we are to feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even helpless as the barrage of bad news seems relentless and often out of our control. 

Despite its reputation, doomscrolling does not have to be an inherently damaging activity. It all depends on how we engage with the information and how much we let it affect us. With the right mindset and conscious boundaries, we can learn to navigate the digital world without letting it drag us into a spiral of stress and anxiety. Understanding why doomscrolling happens and how to break the cycle can offer a path toward a healthier relationship with the constant flow of news.

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Top Spots in Jersey City for a Mental Health Day

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Top Spots in Jersey City for a Mental Health Day

Taking a mental health day is all about pressing pause and giving yourself the time and space to recharge- something we all need more often than we realize. Jersey City, with its blend of urban energy and tranquil green spaces, offers plenty of perfect spots where you can step away from the daily grind and focus on your well-being. Whether you are seeking a peaceful park, a cozy café to unwind in, or a wellness center to nurture your mind and body, Jersey City has something to help you reset and reconnect with yourself. 

In this guide, we will explore some of the best places in Jersey City to spend a restorative mental health day. From scenic waterfront walks to calming yoga studios and quiet spots for meditation, these destinations are ideal for anyone looking to reduce stress, practice self-care, or simply enjoy a moment of calm in the city’s vibrant atmosphere. No matter what kind of mental health day you need, Jersey City has options to support your journey to wellness!

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

Love Island has become a cultural phenomenon, captivating people with its sun-filled villas and dramatic love stories. However, behind the glitz and glamour, there lies a darker reality: the intense pressure to embody perfection. Contestants are thrust into a world where their looks, personalities, and relationships are constantly scrutinized by both viewers and social media, creating an environment where self-worth is often measured by external validation. This constant spotlight can be mentally and emotionally taxing, especially for those who enter the villa seeking love and personal growth only to be met with the opposite experience of overwhelming expectations.

In this blog, we will explore how the quest for "perfection" on Love Island not only affects the mental health of contestants but also influences viewers. The narrative of flawless beauty, drama-filled romances, and constant competition perpetuates unrealistic ideals, raising important questions about body image, self-esteem, and the psychological toll of living up to society’s standards. Through this lens, we will dive deeper into the pressures of reality TV and examine how they contribute to an ongoing conversation about mental health in the entertainment industry.

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

Caretaker’s Syndrome- also known as caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue- is a silent, often overlooked struggle that affects people who spend much of their time tending to the needs of others. Whether you are caring for a sick family member, managing the emotional labor in your relationships or constantly putting others before yourself, the toll can be overwhelming. Over time, you may find yourself feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, disconnected from your own needs, and even resentful yet unable to stop giving. It is a cycle that can feel impossible to break on your own.

This is where counseling at Anchor Therapy can make a powerful difference. Far from being just a space to vent, therapy provides a structured, supportive environment where you can safely explore how your caretaking patterns developed, what emotional costs they carry, and how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and sense of self. Through personalized strategies- like setting boundaries, processing guilt, and rediscovering your own identity- therapy helps you move from surviving to truly healing. It is not about abandoning your care for others; it is about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

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The 5 Steps of Narrative Therapy for Trauma

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The 5 Steps of Narrative Therapy for Trauma

If you have dealt with trauma in the past, you are likely looking for a way to better understand and regulate your emotions. Read our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions” for more information. Trauma has a way of taking over all aspects of your life, even years after the traumatic incident occurred. Narrative therapy is a successful treatment approach for people struggling with trauma or trauma disorders, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Check out our blog “5 Healthy Ways to Cope with PTSD.”

Sometimes, trauma can be so complex and feel too intense when you try to think about it deeply. However, narrative counseling is a form of psychotherapy where you can get more clarity on past events so your memories become less overwhelming. You may find some events easier to understand and cope with once you create a clearer narrative or picture of the trauma you have experienced.

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

Grief does not just change how we feel- it can fundamentally alter who we believe we are. When someone close to you dies, especially a partner, parent, child, or lifelong friend, it is not only the relationship you lose, but also the roles you held in connection to them. A spouse becomes a widow, a daughter becomes an only child, a caregiver suddenly has no one to care for. These identity shifts can feel disorienting as if the ground beneath us has shifted and we are left searching for a new version of ourselves in the aftermath.

What makes this identity loss so profound is that it often goes unspoken. We expect grief to come with tears and sadness, but not with a crisis about yourself. Yet, many people find that after loss, they no longer recognize themselves or the life they imagined. The process of grieving, then, becomes not just about mourning the person who is gone, but about reconstructing an identity in a world that looks and feels entirely different than what you are used to.

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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Celebrating Pride Month with LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy

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Celebrating Pride Month with LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy

Pride Month, traditionally celebrated in June, is a time to honor the resilience, diversity, and strength of the LGBTQIA+ community. It is a celebration of identity, love, and visibility but it is also a reminder of the ongoing challenges many in the community still face. For those navigating the complexities of coming out, discrimination, or seeking acceptance, Pride can stir a mix of emotions, from joy and empowerment to grief and vulnerability. That is why mental health support that truly understands and affirms LGBTQIA+ identities is more important than ever.

Affirming therapy goes beyond tolerance- it is about creating a safe, supportive space where individuals are seen, respected, and celebrated for who they are. At Anchor Therapy, our LGBTQIA+ therapists recognize that mental health care must be inclusive, culturally competent, and deeply attuned to the unique experiences of LGBTQIA+ clients. During Pride Month and throughout the year, we are committed to providing therapy that uplifts and empowers- helping individuals not just survive, but thrive in their authentic selves!

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

If you have ever felt stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by emotions, or unsure how to move forward despite your best efforts, you are not alone and there is a therapy designed with that exact struggle in mind! Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present, even when things feel hard, and to take meaningful action guided by your values. Rather than trying to “fix” your thoughts or feelings, ACT teaches you how to relate to them differently, so they no longer control your life.


But how do you know if ACT is the right fit for you? Whether you are facing anxiety, depression, chronic stress, or simply feeling lost or disconnected, ACT offers a powerful framework for change that is backed by decades of research. This blog will help you understand what ACT really involves, who it works best for, and how it might support your personal growth and healing so you can make an informed, empowered decision about your mental health journey.

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