boundaries, self-esteem, Narcissistic Abuse, family counseling, Childhood trauma
Courtney Glashow
Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When ...

Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.

Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When Someone Is Using You as a Scapegoat
toxic relationships, Narcissistic Abuse, breakup therapy, Trust Issues, trauma counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Recover From Love Bombing

Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.

How to Recover From Love Bombing
Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
Couples counseling, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, Intimacy therapy, lgbtqia support
Courtney Glashow
Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. ...

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

Trauma Counseling Page

, , , ,

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents Often Carry These 10 Patterns

, , , ,
Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents Often Carry These 10 Patterns

Maybe you spent your childhood reading a parent's mood before you walked in the door, adjusting your voice, your plans, even your personality to keep things calm. Maybe you're an adult now with your own apartment and your own job, and you still flinch a little every time your phone lights up with their name. Growing up with a narcissistic parent means being raised by someone whose need for admiration, control, or validation consistently came before your own emotional needs, and the effects of that don't stay in childhood.

This post walks through ten of the most common, well-documented ways growing up with a narcissistic parent can shape you as an adult, from how you talk to yourself to how you learn to trust the people you love. Some of these might sound exactly like you. Others might describe a sibling who had a noticeably different role in the family than you did. Either way, recognizing the pattern is usually the first real step toward changing it.

, , , ,

Are Empaths Real? What the Science Says

, , , ,
Are Empaths Real? What the Science Says

Have you ever walked into a room and felt the emotional temperature shift right away? Maybe you picked up on a friend's sadness before they said a single word. Or you left a party feeling drained by emotions that weren't yours. If that sounds familiar, you've probably wondered whether you're an empath, and whether empaths are real.

An empath is a person with an extraordinary sensitivity to the emotions and moods of the people around them, experiencing those feelings as if they were their own. You've seen the word all over social media, and the question of whether empaths are real deserves an honest answer. The science has something to say to both the skeptics and the true believers. In this blog, we'll look at what the research says and what being an empath means for your mental health and relationships.

, , ,

No Contact With Parents and How to Know When It Helps

, , ,
No Contact With Parents and How to Know When It Helps

Maybe it's the third holiday in a row you've spent bracing yourself before a phone call. Maybe you've rehearsed what you'll say to a parent who never actually lets you finish a sentence. If you've started quietly wondering whether the relationship is worth what it costs you, you're not the only one asking. No contact with parents means deliberately ending communication with a parent, usually after other ways of managing the relationship haven't worked, and even considering it can come with guilt before you've made any decision at all.

This post walks through what no contact actually means, why so many adult children are choosing it right now, and how to tell whether it might be the right move for you. We'll also get into what the research shows about how common this really is, what tends to happen to these relationships over time, and how to go about it if you decide that's where you're headed.

, ,

Is It Normal to Be Bored in a Relationship After a Toxic One?

, ,
Is It Normal to Be Bored in a Relationship After a Toxic One?

Your new partner texts back within the hour. They say what they mean and mean what they say, and there's no guessing where you stand or waiting to see what mood walks through the door. And somehow, instead of feeling relieved, you feel restless, maybe even a little bored. If you've caught yourself missing the highs of a relationship that was bad for you, you're not broken and you're not secretly attracted to chaos.

If you're wondering whether it's normal to be bored in a relationship that's finally healthy, you're far from the only one asking. Feeling bored in a healthy relationship after a toxic one is a common nervous system response, where steady, consistent affection registers as unfamiliar because your body spent so long adapting to unpredictability. That flatness has a cause, and it doesn't mean this new relationship is wrong for you. In this post, we'll get into why healthy relationships can feel boring after a toxic one, what's happening in your body when that happens, how to tell the difference between real incompatibility and a nervous system still catching up to safety, and what helps you build a tolerance for calm instead of quietly sabotaging the good thing in front of you.

, , , ,

What Emotional Contagion Looks Like in a Family

, , , ,
What Emotional Contagion Looks Like in a Family

You walk into your parents' house feeling completely fine. Twenty minutes later, before anyone has said anything specific, your shoulders are up around your ears and you're bracing for something. Nothing really happened. You just walked into the room your mom was already tense in, and now you're tense too.

Emotional contagion is the process of automatically catching another person's emotional state through their tone, expression, and body language, often without either person realizing it's happening. In families, it usually flows in one direction: one person's mood sets the emotional temperature for everyone else in the house. If you've ever felt your own calm evaporate the second a certain family member walked in, you're not imagining it, and you're not overreacting. This post covers what emotional contagion actually is, why it shows up so strongly in families, and how to stop absorbing a mood that was never yours to carry.

, , , ,

What Is It Like Being the Golden Child? Golden Child Syndrome Signs

, , , ,
What Is It Like Being the Golden Child? Golden Child Syndrome Signs

If you're the golden child in your family, chances are you already know the feeling, even if you've never had a name for it. Golden child syndrome is the family pattern where one child gets held up as the favorite, always praised, always expected to succeed, and treated as the example everyone else in the family should follow.

Parents, teachers, and even extended family members may shower you with admiration, reinforcing a sense of confidence and achievement. Knowing that your accomplishments are met with pride and celebration can be very validating and keep you in a loop of wanting to seek constant approval from other people. You may find that your mistakes are overlooked or easily forgiven.

, , ,

What Is Post-Traumatic Growth? And What It Isn't

, , ,
What Is Post-Traumatic Growth? And What It Isn't

Someone survives a serious illness. Later, they say they don't regret it, not because the illness was good, but because of who they became afterward. A person leaves an abusive relationship, and years later, describes a level of self-trust they never had before. Neither of them is pretending that the hard part didn't happen.

Both are describing something real that a lot of therapists see after trauma. It has a name: post-traumatic growth which is positive psychological change that can develop after someone struggles with a highly stressful or traumatic event. It's a real, researched concept, first described by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the mid-1990s. In this post, we'll look at what post-traumatic growth actually is, the stages people tend to move through, how it differs from resilience, and why it's not the same as pretending trauma was a good thing.

, , , ,

Flying Monkeys Meaning: Why People Get Used By A Narcissist

, , , ,
Flying Monkeys Meaning: Why People Get Used By A Narcissist

Flying monkeys meaning explained by our Hoboken, NJ therapists: the people a narcissist recruits to pressure you, and how to protect your peace.

, ,

Bridgerton Family Expectations and the Weight of Being the Responsible One

, ,
Bridgerton Family Expectations and the Weight of Being the Responsible One

Bridgerton family expectations hit a nerve for a lot of viewers, and Anthony Bridgerton is usually why. He inherits the title at 18 after his father dies, and from that day on he's the one holding everyone together. If you grew up as the reliable one in your family, watching him grind through duty after duty probably feels a little too familiar.

That specific weight, getting handed adult responsibility before you're ready for it, has a clinical name. Parentification is when a child takes on adult-level responsibility for a parent's emotional needs, household duties, or younger siblings, well before they're developmentally ready for it.

, , , ,

Birth Trauma PTSD: More Common Than Anyone Talks About

, , , ,
Birth Trauma PTSD: More Common Than Anyone Talks About

Birth trauma PTSD is far more common than people realize, and it's rarely talked about. Here's what the symptoms actually look like, why some births feel traumatic even when the outcome is fine, and how trauma-informed therapy in Hoboken, NJ can help you heal.

, , , ,

How to Recover From Love Bombing

, , , ,
How to Recover From Love Bombing

Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.

, , , ,

What The Fawn Trauma Response Is and How to Heal

, , , ,
What The Fawn Trauma Response Is and How to Heal

Someone in the next room raises their voice, and before you have even registered what is happening, you are already softening yours. You apologize for something that was not your fault. You agree with an opinion you do not actually hold, and you feel a small wave of relief when the tension finally drops. If this feels familiar, you are not imagining it, and you are not weak.

What you may be experiencing is something therapists call the fawn trauma response. The fawn trauma response is a survival pattern where you automatically try to please, appease, or accommodate other people to feel safe, usually at the expense of your own needs and feelings. It often gets mistaken for being kind, easygoing, or "low maintenance" which is part of why it can go unnoticed for years. In this blog, you will learn what the fawn response is, where it comes from, how to spot it in your daily life, and how trauma therapy can help you find your way back to yourself.

, , ,

Disenfranchised Grief: How to Mourn a Complicated Relationship

, , ,
Disenfranchised Grief: How to Mourn a Complicated Relationship

Maybe you hadn't spoken in years. Maybe you had, but every conversation left you drained, hurt, or angry. Maybe you loved them deeply and resented them in equal measure, and now that they're gone, you don't know what you're supposed to feel. The death of someone you had a complicated relationship with is one of the most disorienting forms of grief there is, and one of the least talked about.

Disenfranchised grief is grief that society doesn't openly acknowledge or validate. It's the kind of grief that comes from losing someone you had a complicated relationship with, where the people around you may not understand why you're struggling or may expect you to feel only relieved.

, , , ,

Tell Me Lies and Toxic Relationships: What the Show Gets Right

, , , ,
Tell Me Lies and Toxic Relationships: What the Show Gets Right

If you've watched Tell Me Lies and found yourself unable to look away, even while knowing that everything about Stephen and Lucy's relationship was wrong, you're not alone. There's something deeply uncomfortable about how recognizable it all feels. 

The way charm can make you second-guess your own instincts. The way someone can make you feel chosen and disposable in the same breath. The way you can see the damage happening and still not be able to walk away.

Tell Me Lies is a Hulu drama series that follows college student Lucy Albright as she becomes entangled with Stephen DeMarco, a manipulative and emotionally destructive partner whose behavior spirals across three seasons into one of the most clinically accurate portrayals of a toxic relationship on television. This blog breaks down what the show gets right about manipulation, why Stephen and Lucy's dynamic is so hard to leave, and what it looks like to actually heal from a relationship like theirs.

, , , ,

Growing Up With Conditional Love in a Dysfunctional Family System

, , , ,
Growing Up With Conditional Love in a Dysfunctional Family System

If love in your home growing up always felt like something you had to earn, you already know how exhausting that is to carry. Maybe you learned early that affection came with conditions: be good enough, stay quiet enough, achieve enough, and you'd be okay. Step out of line, and the warmth disappeared. Conditional love is when a parent's affection, approval, or emotional availability depends on a child meeting certain expectations rather than being offered freely and consistently. That kind of environment shapes you in ways that don't just stay in childhood.

Growing up with conditional love in a dysfunctional family system can affect how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you move through the world as an adult, often without realizing where those patterns came from. This blog will walk you through what conditional love actually looks like, how it affects adult relationships and self-worth, and what healing can look like with the right support.

, , ,

PTSD and Personality Changes

, , ,
PTSD and Personality Changes

PTSD does not just show up as flashbacks, anxiety, or nightmares. Instead, it can subtly reshape how a person thinks, feels, and relates to the world around them. Research shows that 5% of United States adults have PTSD. 

Over time, people who have experienced trauma may notice shifts in their temperament, habits, or even core sense of identity. Someone who once felt outgoing might become withdrawn. A person who used to be trusting may start expecting harm or disappointment as the default. These changes can be confusing, especially when they do not match how someone remembers themselves “before.”

What makes PTSD-related personality changes especially complex is that they are not about becoming a different person entirely, they are often about adaptation. The brain and body adjust to survive overwhelming experiences, sometimes by becoming more guarded, hyper-alert, or emotionally numb. While these responses can be protective in unsafe environments, they may feel out of place in everyday life, creating a sense of internal mismatch. Understanding this shift as a survival-based response, rather than a flaw in character, can be an important first step in making sense of how trauma continues to echo through identity.

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is one of the most common, and misunderstood, emotions in relationships. It can show up quietly as insecurity or loudly as suspicion, often leaving both partners feeling confused, hurt, or defensive. While jealousy is a natural human response rooted in fear of loss, it does not have to damage a relationship. In fact, when handled thoughtfully, it can become an opportunity to better understand your emotions, strengthen communication, and build deeper trust with your partner.

Learning how to handle jealousy starts with honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to jealous feelings, it is important to explore where they come from and what they are trying to tell you. Are they rooted in past experiences, unmet needs, or a lack of reassurance? By approaching jealousy with curiosity rather than blame, couples can turn moments of tension into meaningful conversations that foster emotional intimacy and long-term stability.

Best of Hoboken 2017 winner Best of Hoboken 2021 winner Best of Hoboken 2022 winner Best of Hoboken 2024 winner Inclusive & Welcoming — Member of TherapyDen
Contact us