Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
nj therapist, nyc therapist, boundaries
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
nyc therapist, relationship counseling, loneliness
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

red flags in relationships

, ,

Dating Someone with OCD

, ,
Dating Someone with OCD

Dating someone with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be deeply meaningful, but it also comes with nuances that are not always visible from the outside. OCD is not just about being neat or liking things a certain way. It often involves intrusive thoughts, intense anxiety, and repetitive behaviors performed to find relief. As a partner, you may find yourself wanting to help, to reassure, or to “fix” what your loved one is going through. But understanding where support ends and unintentional reinforcement begins is part of the learning curve in building a healthy relationship.

At its core, dating someone with OCD is about patience, communication, and a willingness to understand a world that can feel overwhelming and unpredictable. It means recognizing that your partner’s fears may not always make logical sense but they are very real to them. It also means learning how to show up in ways that are compassionate without feeding the cycle of OCD. With the right balance, relationships involving OCD can grow stronger, rooted in empathy, trust, and a shared commitment to navigating challenges together.

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is one of the most common, and misunderstood, emotions in relationships. It can show up quietly as insecurity or loudly as suspicion, often leaving both partners feeling confused, hurt, or defensive. While jealousy is a natural human response rooted in fear of loss, it does not have to damage a relationship. In fact, when handled thoughtfully, it can become an opportunity to better understand your emotions, strengthen communication, and build deeper trust with your partner.

Learning how to handle jealousy starts with honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to jealous feelings, it is important to explore where they come from and what they are trying to tell you. Are they rooted in past experiences, unmet needs, or a lack of reassurance? By approaching jealousy with curiosity rather than blame, couples can turn moments of tension into meaningful conversations that foster emotional intimacy and long-term stability.

,

What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

,
What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

In today’s hyper-connected world, our brains are constantly bombarded with information, from social media notifications and endless emails to news alerts and streaming content. This constant influx of digital stimuli can overwhelm our mental processing, leaving us feeling drained, unfocused, and even anxious. Known as digital overstimulation, this phenomenon occurs when the sheer volume of information we consume exceeds our brain’s ability to manage it effectively. While technology offers a lot of convenience and connectivity, it also comes with the hidden cost of mental fatigue and reduced cognitive performance.

The effects of digital overstimulation extend beyond mere distraction. Studies have shown that excessive screen time and constant exposure to digital stimuli can impair memory, disrupt sleep patterns, and increase stress levels. It can even alter how we process emotions and interact with others in real life. Recognizing the signs of digital overstimulation; such as restlessness, irritability, or difficulty concentrating; is the first step toward regaining control over your attention and mental well-being. In this blog, we will explore what digital overstimulation is, how it impacts your life, and practical strategies so you can reclaim your focus and sense of balance!

, ,

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

, ,
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

Relationships thrive on emotional connection, yet many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional distance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples offers a research-based approach that helps partners move beyond surface arguments to understand the deeper emotions and attachment needs driving their interactions. Instead of focusing solely on communication techniques, EFT works to strengthen the emotional bond between partners which helps you and your partner feel safer, more supported, and more understood in the relationship.

Through guided conversations and structured interventions, EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns and replace them with healthier ways of responding to each other. As partners learn to express vulnerable emotions and respond with empathy rather than defensiveness, trust and closeness can gradually be rebuilt. The goal of EFT is not just resolving conflicts, but creating a secure emotional connection that allows couples to face challenges together with greater resilience and intimacy.

, ,

Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

, ,
Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

In today’s world, dating often happens through swipes, likes, and endless scrolling, creating a new environment where undefined relationships, commonly called situationships, thrive. Dating apps offer instant connection and convenience, but they also encourage ambiguity. When communication is limited to messages and profile impressions, it is easy for two people to enjoy each other’s company without ever defining what their relationship actually is. The line between casual fun and emotional investment becomes blurry, leaving many people stuck in cycles of hope, disappointment, and uncertainty.

Situationships in the age of dating apps are fueled by the illusion of infinite choice. When potential partners are just a swipe away, commitment can feel optional, and exploring other options becomes normalized, even when emotional attachment is already present. This dynamic can make people question their own feelings, wonder if they are being “too invested,” or stay in limbo longer than they would have otherwise. Understanding how modern technology shapes our dating experiences is key to recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and navigating the messy gray area between casual connection and meaningful commitment.

Does Asexuality Exist On A Spectrum?

Does Asexuality Exist On A Spectrum?

Asexuality is often misunderstood as a single, fixed experience, but for many people, it is far more nuanced than that. At its core, asexuality describes experiencing little to no sexual attraction but how that shows up can vary widely from person to person. Some asexual people may never feel sexual attraction at all, while others experience it rarely, under specific circumstances, or with fluctuating intensity over time. This diversity has led many within the community to describe asexuality not as a strict category, but as a spectrum.

Understanding asexuality as a spectrum helps make space for identities such as graysexual and demisexual, as well as for asexual people who still desire romantic relationships, intimacy, or even sex itself. It challenges the idea that attraction, desire, and behavior must always align, and invites a more inclusive conversation about how people experience connection. Exploring the asexual spectrum is not about creating more labels, it is about recognizing the complexity of human experience and validating those who have long felt unseen or misunderstood.

, , ,

Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

, , ,
Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

It is easy to assume that feeling needy, worried, or “too much” in relationships means you have an anxious attachment style, but that is not always the case. Many people experience insecurity at times, especially in new relationships or moments of uncertainty. Insecurity is a feeling. Anxious attachment is a pattern. And while the two can look similar on the surface, understanding the difference can help you avoid mislabeling yourself and begin addressing the real issue underneath.

In this guide, we will break down how anxious attachment differs from everyday insecurity, why the distinction matters, and how each one shows up in your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Whether you are trying to understand your own patterns or you are simply curious about relationship psychology, this breakdown will give you clarity, language, and practical insight you can use right away.

, , ,

What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

, , ,
What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

The #1 thing that destroys marriages is not always dramatic as it is often something that quietly erodes the bond over time: a breakdown in communication. When couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, small misunderstandings turn into major resentments. Conversations become arguments, emotional distance grows, and partners begin to feel unheard or unloved. Without open, honest, and empathetic communication, even the strongest relationships can start to crumble.

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every successful marriage. It is what allows couples to navigate conflict, share dreams, express needs, and maintain emotional intimacy. When that connection fades, partners can drift apart, not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped understanding each other. Recognizing the signs of poor communication and making intentional efforts to rebuild it can mean the difference between a relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.

, ,

Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

, ,
Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

For many survivors of trauma, the world does not just simply feel different, it actually feels muted. Emotions that once came easily may now seem distant or entirely absent, leaving a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This emotional numbness is a common but often misunderstood symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a protective response of the brain designed to shield us from overwhelming pain. While it may feel like a relief in the short term, over time, the inability to feel joy, sadness, or even anger can create its own form of suffering, affecting relationships, daily life, and self-perception.

Living with emotional numbness can be confusing and isolating. You might find yourself watching life pass by from behind a fog, unsure if what you are experiencing is “normal” or permanent. Yet, it is important to know that emotional numbness is not a personal failing. Instead, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs safety, time, and gentle care. Understanding why this numbness occurs and learning strategies to reconnect with your emotions are critical steps toward reclaiming a sense of vitality and engagement in your life.

, ,

Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

, ,
Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

, , , ,

Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

, , , ,
Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

Love Island has become a cultural phenomenon, captivating people with its sun-filled villas and dramatic love stories. However, behind the glitz and glamour, there lies a darker reality: the intense pressure to embody perfection. Contestants are thrust into a world where their looks, personalities, and relationships are constantly scrutinized by both viewers and social media, creating an environment where self-worth is often measured by external validation. This constant spotlight can be mentally and emotionally taxing, especially for those who enter the villa seeking love and personal growth only to be met with the opposite experience of overwhelming expectations.

In this blog, we will explore how the quest for "perfection" on Love Island not only affects the mental health of contestants but also influences viewers. The narrative of flawless beauty, drama-filled romances, and constant competition perpetuates unrealistic ideals, raising important questions about body image, self-esteem, and the psychological toll of living up to society’s standards. Through this lens, we will dive deeper into the pressures of reality TV and examine how they contribute to an ongoing conversation about mental health in the entertainment industry.

,

How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing Limerence?

,
How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing Limerence?

Have you ever found yourself obsessively thinking about someone, analyzing every interaction, and feeling a rush of euphoria just from a glance or text message? If so, you might be experiencing more than just a crush- you could be caught in the grip of limerence. Often mistaken for love or infatuation, limerence is a powerful emotional state characterized by intense longing, emotional dependence, and idealization of another person. It can be exhilarating, but also cause a lot of confusion and be emotionally exhausting. 

Understanding whether what you are feeling is limerence can be the first step toward gaining clarity and emotional balance. In this post, we will explore what limerence really is, how it differs from genuine love or attraction, and the key signs that may indicate you are experiencing it. By recognizing the symptoms, you can start to navigate your emotions more mindfully and make choices that support your emotional well-being!

, , , ,

Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

, , , ,
Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

Retroactive jealousy is the uncomfortable feelings triggered by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. It can be surprisingly common, yet it may leave you feeling isolated, ashamed, or confused. Whether it is fixating on exes, overanalyzing old social media posts, or imagining past romantic encounters, many individuals silently grapple with these intrusive thoughts and wonder if their emotional reactions are healthy or harmful.

In this blog post, we will explore the psychology behind retroactive jealousy, why it happens, and most importantly, whether it is considered "normal." Understanding this phenomenon can help you navigate your emotions with greater clarity and compassion while distinguishing between manageable insecurity and deeper emotional patterns that may need attention.

,

What Does Premarital Counseling Consist Of?

,
What Does Premarital Counseling Consist Of?

Premarital counseling is a form of therapy designed to help couples prepare for marriage by fostering open communication, addressing potential areas of conflict, and aligning on core values and expectations. At Anchor Therapy, the goal of our couples counselors is to equip couples with the tools they need to build a strong, lasting partnership. Sessions often include guided conversations around topics like finances, intimacy, family planning, career goals, and conflict resolution.


Premarital counseling is more than just a checklist of marital “must-dos,” it provides a safe space to explore each person’s background, beliefs, and hopes for the future. It encourages couples to confront differences early and collaboratively which reduces the risk of future misunderstandings. For many, this experience not only strengthens their bond but also lays a foundation of trust, empathy, and mutual respect that supports a healthy marriage from day one!

,

What To Do When In An Unhappy Marriage

,
What To Do When In An Unhappy Marriage

Marriage can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of life, but when it starts to feel more like a source of stress and unhappiness, it can be difficult to know where to turn. If you are in an unhappy marriage, you are not alone—many couples experience periods of disconnection or frustration. In fact, research shows that approximately 14% of couples are unhappy in their marriage. Acknowledging the problem is the first step toward finding a solution. Whether it is through communication, couples counseling, or self-reflection, there are ways to navigate these tough moments and make meaningful changes.


It is important to remember that no marriage is perfect, and challenges are a natural part of any relationship. However, when unhappiness lingers, it is crucial to take proactive steps to address the root causes. By approaching the situation with empathy, patience, and an open mind, couples can often find ways to rebuild trust, improve communication, and rekindle the connection that brought them together in the first place.

,

Is Love Really Blind? Using Insights from Netflix’s Love Is Blind

,
Is Love Really Blind? Using Insights from Netflix’s Love Is Blind

Netflix’s hit show Love Is Blind premiered its eighth season on Friday, February 14, 2025. The phrase “love is blind” has been a cultural notion for quite some time. The saying suggests that when people fall in love, their partner’s physical appearance does not matter. In other words, the flaws and imperfections of their significant other seem to disappear. Netflix’s Love Is Blind takes this concept to an extreme by forcing contestants to form deep emotional connections with one another without ever seeing the other person’s physical appearance until the pair are already in a committed relationship. This is a bold social experiment that challenges the traditional idea of romantic attraction. The show raises the very important question of can love blossom without physical attraction at play? Or does love require more than just emotional chemistry to survive in the real world?


When a viewer dives into the dynamics of Love Is Blind, one can explore whether or not love can thrive without the physical element at play. The show sometimes suggests that emotional connections need physical attraction to really thrive. Through watching the show’s participants, you can get a glimpse into the complexities of human relationships where emotional bonds may form quickly, but tested when physical reality enters the picture. In this blog, we’ll break down the concept of the show to see whether or not love is truly blind, or couples need more than just emotional connection to last.

hobokengirl2017 Hoboken-2021-Winner-Decal Hoboken-2022-Winner-Decal Hoboken-2024-Winner-Decal