boundaries, self-esteem, Narcissistic Abuse, family counseling, Childhood trauma
Courtney Glashow
Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When ...

Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.

Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When Someone Is Using You as a Scapegoat
toxic relationships, Narcissistic Abuse, breakup therapy, Trust Issues, trauma counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Recover From Love Bombing

Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.

How to Recover From Love Bombing
Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
Couples counseling, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, Intimacy therapy, lgbtqia support
Courtney Glashow
Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. ...

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

relationship counseling

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Are Empaths Real? What the Science Says

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Are Empaths Real? What the Science Says

Have you ever walked into a room and felt the emotional temperature shift right away? Maybe you picked up on a friend's sadness before they said a single word. Or you left a party feeling drained by emotions that weren't yours. If that sounds familiar, you've probably wondered whether you're an empath, and whether empaths are real.

An empath is a person with an extraordinary sensitivity to the emotions and moods of the people around them, experiencing those feelings as if they were their own. You've seen the word all over social media, and the question of whether empaths are real deserves an honest answer. The science has something to say to both the skeptics and the true believers. In this blog, we'll look at what the research says and what being an empath means for your mental health and relationships.

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Is It Normal to Be Bored in a Relationship After a Toxic One?

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Is It Normal to Be Bored in a Relationship After a Toxic One?

Your new partner texts back within the hour. They say what they mean and mean what they say, and there's no guessing where you stand or waiting to see what mood walks through the door. And somehow, instead of feeling relieved, you feel restless, maybe even a little bored. If you've caught yourself missing the highs of a relationship that was bad for you, you're not broken and you're not secretly attracted to chaos.

If you're wondering whether it's normal to be bored in a relationship that's finally healthy, you're far from the only one asking. Feeling bored in a healthy relationship after a toxic one is a common nervous system response, where steady, consistent affection registers as unfamiliar because your body spent so long adapting to unpredictability. That flatness has a cause, and it doesn't mean this new relationship is wrong for you. In this post, we'll get into why healthy relationships can feel boring after a toxic one, what's happening in your body when that happens, how to tell the difference between real incompatibility and a nervous system still catching up to safety, and what helps you build a tolerance for calm instead of quietly sabotaging the good thing in front of you.

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The Psychology of Situationships: Are They Toxic?

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The Psychology of Situationships: Are They Toxic?

If you have ever been with someone, but not really with someone, then you have likely been in a situationship. You are more than friends but you are not exactly in a relationship. You are making last-minute plans, talking inconsistently, and your romantic connection is not exactly defined. In modern culture, casual relationships are extremely common. What was first known as a “booty call” morphed into “friends with benefits” and it is now known as a “situationship.”

If it was a movie, you and your situationship would witness the blossoming of friendship into an official romantic relationship. You two would fall in love and live happily ever after. But, as you may have guessed, life is not a picture-perfect movie and things do not always work out as you wish they would. The real question is - are situationships unhealthy?

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Narcissistic Traits vs NPD: How to Tell Where the Line Is

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Narcissistic Traits vs NPD: How to Tell Where the Line Is

Someone in your life is difficult, self-centered, hard to reason with. You've called them a narcissist more than once, probably out loud, probably to a friend who nodded along immediately. But somewhere in the back of your mind, a real question is sitting there: is that actually true, or is it just the word everyone reaches for now.

Narcissistic tendencies are traits like self-focus, a need for admiration, or difficulty with empathy that show up occasionally or in certain situations, without meeting the bar for an actual diagnosis. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, is a specific, diagnosable condition where those same traits are pervasive, rigid, and present across nearly every context and relationship. Almost everyone has narcissistic tendencies sometimes, and very few people actually have NPD. This post covers what separates the two, how to tell which one you might be dealing with, and why the distinction matters more than it might seem.

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Enmeshed Family: What It's Like to Date Someone Who Grew Up in One

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Enmeshed Family: What It's Like to Date Someone Who Grew Up in One

Your partner's mom calls every single day, sometimes twice. Every plan you make together gets run past her first, even small ones, even ones that have nothing to do with her. You've started to notice you're not quite sure where your partner's opinion ends and their mother's begins. You love this person, but you also can't shake the feeling that you're dating two people instead of one.

An enmeshed family is one where the boundaries between family members are blurred or missing entirely, so individual identity, decisions, and emotions get absorbed into the family as a whole instead of staying separate. When you date someone from a family like this, you're not just dating them. You're dating a whole system that doesn't always leave room for you. This post covers what enmeshment actually is, how to spot it early, and what it takes to build a relationship that can hold both your partner and their family without losing you in the process.

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Covert Narcissist: The Quiet Signs Most People Miss

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Covert Narcissist: The Quiet Signs Most People Miss

You keep replaying the conversation in your head. On paper, nothing that was said sounds that bad, no yelling, no insults, no dramatic scene. So why do you feel small? Why do you feel like you somehow ended up apologizing for something you didn't even do?

Covert narcissism is a pattern of self-focus, fragile self-esteem, and quiet control that hides behind humility, victimhood, or shyness instead of obvious, outward arrogance. You won't see the grandiosity people usually associate with narcissism. Instead, you'll see someone who seems sensitive, self-deprecating, even a little insecure, while somehow still managing to make every conversation circle back to them. 

If you've walked away from someone feeling confused, guilty, or smaller than you were an hour ago, and you can't quite explain why, keep reading. This post covers what covert narcissism actually is, how it's different from the loud, obvious version most people picture, and what it looks like when you're the one living with it.

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Birth Order Theory: What Your Place in the Family Actually Shapes

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Birth Order Theory: What Your Place in the Family Actually Shapes

Is the oldest really bossy and the baby really spoiled? Here's what birth order theory actually says about your personality, your relationships, and who you tend to date, plus what the newest research says about whether any of it holds up.

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Gray Rock Method: How to Handle a Narcissist You Can't Avoid

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Gray Rock Method: How to Handle a Narcissist You Can't Avoid

If you are stuck dealing with a narcissist you cannot simply walk away from, you already know how draining every interaction can be. Maybe it is a co-parent, a boss, a coworker, or a family member, and going no contact is not an option right now. You may have searched for the gray rock method because you heard it can help you protect your peace when you have to keep showing up. The gray rock method is a way of becoming so calm, plain, and unreactive that a manipulative person loses interest in trying to get a rise out of you.

In this post, we’ll explain what the gray rock method is, why it works on people who feed off your reactions, and how to use it step by step. We’ll also be honest about its limits, including when it is not safe to use and what to do instead. At Anchor Therapy, we help people navigate narcissistic and toxic relationships every day, and you don’t have to figure this out alone.

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The Silent Treatment: Why It Hurts So Much and How to Respond

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The Silent Treatment: Why It Hurts So Much and How to Respond

If someone you love has gone quiet on you, shutting down and refusing to speak, you already know how confusing and painful it feels. Maybe you’ve been searching for the psychology of the silent treatment because you want to understand what’s really happening and why it cuts so deep. You’re not alone, and your reaction isn’t an overreaction. The silent treatment is the deliberate refusal to talk to or acknowledge another person as a way to express anger, gain control, or punish them.

In this post, we’ll walk through why people use the silent treatment, what it does to your brain and body, and when this pattern crosses the line into emotional abuse. We’ll also look at how to tell the silent treatment apart from a healthy need for space, and what you can do to respond. At Anchor Therapy, we help people untangle these dynamics every day, and we are with you every step of the way.

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Tell Me Lies and Toxic Relationships: What the Show Gets Right

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Tell Me Lies and Toxic Relationships: What the Show Gets Right

If you've watched Tell Me Lies and found yourself unable to look away, even while knowing that everything about Stephen and Lucy's relationship was wrong, you're not alone. There's something deeply uncomfortable about how recognizable it all feels. 

The way charm can make you second-guess your own instincts. The way someone can make you feel chosen and disposable in the same breath. The way you can see the damage happening and still not be able to walk away.

Tell Me Lies is a Hulu drama series that follows college student Lucy Albright as she becomes entangled with Stephen DeMarco, a manipulative and emotionally destructive partner whose behavior spirals across three seasons into one of the most clinically accurate portrayals of a toxic relationship on television. This blog breaks down what the show gets right about manipulation, why Stephen and Lucy's dynamic is so hard to leave, and what it looks like to actually heal from a relationship like theirs.

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Financial Infidelity: What It Is and How to Rebuild Trust

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Financial Infidelity: What It Is and How to Rebuild Trust

It starts as a conversation about a credit card statement and ends with both of you in separate rooms, not speaking. Or one of you makes a purchase the other didn't know about, and suddenly you're not just talking about money anymore. You're talking about trust, control, and whether you're actually on the same team. Sound familiar?

Financial stress in relationships is the tension, conflict, and emotional distance that arises when partners have different money habits, values, or communication styles around finances. It is one of the most common and least talked-about sources of relationship strain, and it affects couples at every income level. This blog breaks down why money fights happen, what's really going on underneath them, and what you and your partner can do to get on the same page.

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

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What Is The #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?

The #1 thing that destroys marriages is not always dramatic as it is often something that quietly erodes the bond over time: a breakdown in communication. When couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, small misunderstandings turn into major resentments. Conversations become arguments, emotional distance grows, and partners begin to feel unheard or unloved. Without open, honest, and empathetic communication, even the strongest relationships can start to crumble.

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every successful marriage. It is what allows couples to navigate conflict, share dreams, express needs, and maintain emotional intimacy. When that connection fades, partners can drift apart, not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped understanding each other. Recognizing the signs of poor communication and making intentional efforts to rebuild it can mean the difference between a relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.

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Why Toxic Relationships Feel So Hard to Leave (Even When You Know Better)

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Why Toxic Relationships Feel So Hard to Leave (Even When You Know Better)

You tell yourself this is the last time. After the argument, the silence, or the way they made you question your own memory, something in you clicks. You know this relationship is not healthy. But then a few days pass, things feel normal again, maybe even good, and suddenly leaving does not feel as clear anymore. If you have ever felt stuck in that cycle, knowing something is wrong but still finding it almost impossible to walk away, you are not alone.

Toxic relationships can be incredibly hard to leave, even when you fully recognize the damage they are causing. Nearly half of women and men in the United States will experience psychological aggression from an intimate partner at some point in their lives which shows just how common and often hidden these kinds of relationship dynamics really are. It is not just about willpower or being strong enough. There are real psychological patterns, emotional attachments, and nervous system responses that keep people tied to relationships that hurt them. In this blog, we will break down why this happens, what is actually going on beneath the surface, and what can start to help you move forward.

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Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime

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Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is one of the most common, and misunderstood, emotions in relationships. It can show up quietly as insecurity or loudly as suspicion, often leaving both partners feeling confused, hurt, or defensive. While jealousy is a natural human response rooted in fear of loss, it does not have to damage a relationship. In fact, when handled thoughtfully, it can become an opportunity to better understand your emotions, strengthen communication, and build deeper trust with your partner.

Learning how to handle jealousy starts with honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to jealous feelings, it is important to explore where they come from and what they are trying to tell you. Are they rooted in past experiences, unmet needs, or a lack of reassurance? By approaching jealousy with curiosity rather than blame, couples can turn moments of tension into meaningful conversations that foster emotional intimacy and long-term stability.

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

Life in Hoboken can be fast-paced, vibrant, and full of little stressors, from the morning rush along Washington Street to navigating crowded weekend spots by the waterfront. Amid the city’s energy, it is easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, anxiety, or frustration over things beyond your control. That is where Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) comes in. REBT offers practical tools to help you identify irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with healthier, more rational ways of thinking which turns everyday stress into opportunities for calm and clarity.

For Hoboken residents, applying REBT does not always mean setting aside hours for therapy sessions. It is about using simple, everyday strategies to respond more effectively to life’s challenges whether that is dealing with traffic on Sinatra Drive, handling work stress, or navigating social pressures in a tightly knit community. By integrating REBT into your daily routine, you can develop a mindset that’s both resilient and rational, helping you enjoy Hoboken’s unique charm without letting small frustrations take over!

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6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

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6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is often misunderstood, and many of the ideas floating around about it are more myth than reality. From assumptions that ENM relationships are inherently unstable to the belief that jealousy makes them impossible, misconceptions can create unnecessary fear or judgment for those exploring this relationship style. These myths not only misrepresent the experiences of people in ENM but also make it harder for newcomers to approach it with confidence and clarity. Understanding what ENM truly is and what it is not is the first step in challenging these misconceptions!

In reality, ENM relationships come in many forms, from open relationships to polyamory, and can be deeply fulfilling when approached ethically and intentionally. Just like any other relationship, success in ENM depends on communication, trust, and respect- not on rigid societal norms about monogamy. By examining the most common myths and setting the record straight, this blog aims to shed light on how ENM works in practice, offering a clearer, more accurate perspective for anyone curious about exploring alternative ways of loving.

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