Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

how a habit differs from a routine

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What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

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What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

In today’s hyper-connected world, our brains are constantly bombarded with information, from social media notifications and endless emails to news alerts and streaming content. This constant influx of digital stimuli can overwhelm our mental processing, leaving us feeling drained, unfocused, and even anxious. Known as digital overstimulation, this phenomenon occurs when the sheer volume of information we consume exceeds our brain’s ability to manage it effectively. While technology offers a lot of convenience and connectivity, it also comes with the hidden cost of mental fatigue and reduced cognitive performance.

The effects of digital overstimulation extend beyond mere distraction. Studies have shown that excessive screen time and constant exposure to digital stimuli can impair memory, disrupt sleep patterns, and increase stress levels. It can even alter how we process emotions and interact with others in real life. Recognizing the signs of digital overstimulation; such as restlessness, irritability, or difficulty concentrating; is the first step toward regaining control over your attention and mental well-being. In this blog, we will explore what digital overstimulation is, how it impacts your life, and practical strategies so you can reclaim your focus and sense of balance!

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Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

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Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

Motivation often feels like the key to achieving goals, yet it frequently falls short when it is needed most. People start projects with enthusiasm only to find their drive fading after a few days or weeks. This pattern is not a sign of failure. Instead, it is a natural consequence of relying on willpower alone, without systems or habits to support progress. Understanding why motivation falters can reveal better ways to create lasting momentum.

Rather than waiting for inspiration to strike, success comes from building consistent routines, breaking goals into manageable steps, and creating structures that encourage follow-through. Small, deliberate actions, combined with clear priorities and accountability, tend to produce far more reliable results than bursts of enthusiasm. By shifting focus from fleeting motivation to practical strategies, meaningful progress becomes achievable even when initial excitement wanes.

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10 Type A Personality Traits That Drive Success

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10 Type A Personality Traits That Drive Success

If you have ever been described as competitive, driven, or always “on the go,” you might recognize yourself in the world of Type A personalities. Known for their ambition, focus, and relentless pursuit of goals, individuals with strong Type A personality traits often stand out in high-performance environments. They set high standards, manage their time carefully, and rarely shy away from a challenge. But what exactly makes these traits so powerful and how do they translate into real-world success?

In this blog, we will explore 10 Type A personality traits that drive success, from unwavering determination to exceptional organizational skills. Whether you identify as Type A yourself or work alongside someone who does, understanding these characteristics can help you harness their strengths while staying mindful of potential downsides. Let us take a closer look at the qualities that fuel achievement and shape some of today’s most motivated individuals!

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Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

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Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

The start of a new year often comes with excitement and a long list of goals, from improving grades and learning new skills to taking better care of yourself. But as the days go by, that initial enthusiasm can fade, leaving you frustrated or unsure of how to keep moving forward. Staying motivated is not about pushing yourself relentlessly; it is about finding strategies that make your goals feel achievable, meaningful, and even enjoyable. Understanding why motivation fluctuates and how to respond to those dips can make a big difference in whether your resolutions stick or fade away by February.

One of the keys to staying motivated is breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. When you focus on progress rather than perfection, each step becomes a victory worth celebrating which fuels momentum. Pairing this with self-compassion, such as reminding yourself that setbacks are normal and not a sign of failure, can prevent discouragement from taking over. By combining practical planning with patience and flexibility, you can create a system that keeps your goals alive throughout the year, turning intentions into lasting habits rather than fleeting resolutions. Read our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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How Couples Can Navigate Pregnancy Stress Together with Therapy

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How Couples Can Navigate Pregnancy Stress Together with Therapy

Pregnancy is often portrayed as a joyful and exciting time, but for many couples, it can also bring unexpected stress, anxiety, and emotional challenges. Hormonal changes, physical discomfort, financial pressures, and the anticipation of becoming parents can create tension, misunderstandings, or even feelings of isolation within a relationship. These stressors are natural, but if left unaddressed, they can affect communication, intimacy, and overall emotional well-being for both partners.

Working with a couples counselor here at Anchor Therapy offers you and your partner a structured, supportive space to navigate these challenges together. Through perinatal or couples therapy, partners can learn effective communication strategies, manage anxiety, and develop shared coping skills to handle the unique pressures of pregnancy. It is not just about resolving conflict, it is about strengthening connection, fostering mutual understanding, and preparing both partners emotionally for the transition into parenthood. By addressing stress as a team, couples can create a healthier, more resilient foundation for their growing family.

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Which Type of Insomnia Do You Have?

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Which Type of Insomnia Do You Have?

Struggling to sleep is not just frustrating- it can take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. But what many people do not realize is that insomnia is not a one-size-fits-all problem. There are different types, each with its own causes, patterns, and psychological impact. Some people cannot fall asleep no matter how exhausted they are, while others wake up at 2 or 3 a.m. and cannot get back to sleep. Understanding the type of insomnia you are experiencing is the first step toward getting the right kind of support.

At Anchor Therapy, our sleep anxiety counselors often see clients who have been battling insomnia for months or even years without knowing there is more than one way it can present. Knowing whether your insomnia is acute, chronic, sleep-onset, or sleep-maintenance related can help guide treatment options, whether that is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), trauma-focused care, or stress management techniques. In this blog, we will break down the common types of insomnia and explain why identifying your specific sleep pattern is so important for finding relief that lasts.

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

Burnout has become an increasingly common problem in today’s fast-paced, always-on culture. Constant stress, overwhelming workloads, and the pressure to perform can leave both the mind and body exhausted, making it difficult to function at your best. While many people push through fatigue with caffeine or sheer willpower, they often overlook one simple yet powerful tool: napping. Short, intentional naps can offer more than just a quick energy boost- they can help reset the brain, reduce stress hormones, and improve emotional resilience, all of which are key factors in preventing burnout.

But can napping really make a difference when it comes to chronic stress and exhaustion? Research suggests that taking time to rest during the day helps improve mood, increase focus, and lower the risk of mental and physical health problems associated with burnout. In this post, we will explore how strategic napping supports mental health, why it is an essential practice for self-care, and tips on how to incorporate naps into your busy life without disrupting your nighttime sleep.

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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How To Stop Procrastinating

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How To Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination is a sneaky habit that often disguises itself as harmless delay until deadlines loom, anxiety spikes, and you find yourself scrambling to catch up. Whether it is putting off work tasks, avoiding chores, or sidestepping personal goals, most people know the cycle all too well: a burst of motivation, followed by distraction, guilt, and frustration. But breaking this pattern is not just about “trying harder”- it is about understanding why you procrastinate and building systems that make progress easier and more automatic. Check out our blog “4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks.” 

At its core, procrastination is not a sign of laziness. It is often a response to overwhelm, fear of failure, or a lack of clarity. To truly stop procrastinating, you need more than a to-do list; you need strategies that work with your brain, not against it. In this guide, we will explore practical tools and mindset shifts that help you take action even when motivation is low. Because lasting change does not come from willpower alone, it comes from designing your life in a way that makes follow-through feel doable!

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

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How Bad Is Weed For Mental Health?

In recent years, cannabis, also known as weed, has moved from the edge of legality and social acceptance to a mainstream topic of conversation with growing support for its medicinal and recreational use. As laws change and public perception shifts, so too does the conversation around its effects, particularly when it comes to mental health. While some users report feelings of relaxation, reduced anxiety, or even enhanced creativity, research paints a more complex picture. Research shows that, in 2023, approximately 61.8 million people used marijuana. Many people may still ask: how bad is weed for mental health, really?

For many people, occasional or moderate cannabis use may not cause significant psychological harm. However, studies increasingly suggest that frequent or high-potency use, especially among young people or those with a family history of mental illness, can be linked to heightened risks of anxiety, depression, and even psychosis. As cannabis becomes more potent and accessible, it is important to examine the real risks and eliminate the myths. In this blog, we will break down what the science says, who may be most at risk, and how cannabis use might interact with mental health conditions.

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is a common struggle many people face, often turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, sadness, or even boredom. Instead of eating out of hunger, emotional eating involves using food as a source of comfort which can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices. This cycle can be difficult to break, especially when food provides temporary relief from overwhelming emotions. However, recognizing the pattern is the first step toward gaining control and developing healthier habits!


Overcoming emotional eating requires a combination of mindfulness, emotional awareness, and practical strategies. By understanding the emotional triggers behind your cravings and finding alternative ways to address them, you can build a healthier relationship with food. In this blog, we will explore six effective strategies to help you break free from emotional eating, regain control of your eating habits, and foster a more balanced and mindful approach to food.

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How to Create A Daily Routine

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How to Create A Daily Routine

Building a routine is one of the most effective ways to bring structure and consistency into your daily life. Whether you are looking to boost productivity, enhance mental health, or simply make your days more manageable, creating a solid routine can set you up for success. The key to establishing a routine is making it both realistic and adaptable, so it becomes a sustainable part of your daily life rather than something that feels like a chore to do.


Starting small and focusing on consistency is crucial when building a routine. It is not about overloading yourself with tasks from the get-go, but rather about finding a rhythm that works for you. You can gradually add habits to your routine and adjust as you go. Check out our blog “4 Ways to Build a Habit That Sticks.” This way, you can create a routine that not only supports your goals but also promotes a sense of balance and well-being. In this blog, we will explore the steps to help you build a routine that sticks and aligns with your personal lifestyle.

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Is Journaling Good For Your Mental Health?

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Is Journaling Good For Your Mental Health?

Journaling is a simple yet effective tool for enhancing your mental health. When you physically write down your thoughts and emotions, you can gain clarity and self-awareness so you can effectively reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Journaling gives you an unfiltered expression of your feelings, and it can be a safe outlet for any intense emotions you may be experiencing. The practice of journaling is to make you more mindful, give you the space to reflect, and solve your problems. Over time, this leads to a greater sense of emotional regulation and well-being.


In addition to being a therapeutic force, journaling fosters creativity and a high sense of self-expression, giving you the space for personal growth and exploration. You can think of journaling as a tool for processing past events, setting future goals, and tracking progress over time. Many people who journal report that it helps them better understand their inner world, including their thoughts and triggers. By gaining this level of awareness, it can contribute to your coping skills and emotional resilience. Whether you journal daily or periodically, journaling is an accessible mental health tool and it can be an effective practice for maintaining your mental health.

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4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks

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4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks

The process of building a habit, also referred to as habit formation, is a journey where our behaviors become automatic. Habits can be formed consciously or unconsciously. For example, think of when you first wake up in the morning and you go to reach for your phone- this is likely an unconscious habit. On the other hand, your habit of going for a walk every day is a conscious choice you make. 

Habits can be created or erased to suit your needs and, ultimately, to help you reach your goals. Habits play an extremely important role in your health and well-being. Staying consistent and committed will help you form new habits regardless of how long the journey itself might take you!

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