Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

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Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

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Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

Motivation often feels like the key to achieving goals, yet it frequently falls short when it is needed most. People start projects with enthusiasm only to find their drive fading after a few days or weeks. This pattern is not a sign of failure. Instead, it is a natural consequence of relying on willpower alone, without systems or habits to support progress. Understanding why motivation falters can reveal better ways to create lasting momentum.

Rather than waiting for inspiration to strike, success comes from building consistent routines, breaking goals into manageable steps, and creating structures that encourage follow-through. Small, deliberate actions, combined with clear priorities and accountability, tend to produce far more reliable results than bursts of enthusiasm. By shifting focus from fleeting motivation to practical strategies, meaningful progress becomes achievable even when initial excitement wanes.

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How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

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How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave deep, invisible scars which is one of the most common being a pervasive sense of guilt. Children of parents who struggle to regulate their emotions, empathize, or set healthy boundaries often internalize blame for things that are not their fault. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.”

From an early age, they may feel responsible for their parent’s moods, happiness, or conflicts, carrying an invisible weight that follows them into adulthood. This guilt is not just occasional, it can become a constant companion, shaping relationships, self-esteem, and decision-making for years to come.

The struggle with excessive guilt in these children is often misunderstood. Outsiders may see them as overly sensitive or self-critical, but in reality, their guilt is a learned survival mechanism. It stems from growing up in an environment where love and approval were conditional, emotional needs were overlooked, and mistakes were magnified. Understanding how this guilt develops is the first step toward breaking the cycle, reclaiming self-worth, and learning to differentiate between responsibility and unnecessary self-blame.

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.

Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

Burnout has become an increasingly common problem in today’s fast-paced, always-on culture. Constant stress, overwhelming workloads, and the pressure to perform can leave both the mind and body exhausted, making it difficult to function at your best. While many people push through fatigue with caffeine or sheer willpower, they often overlook one simple yet powerful tool: napping. Short, intentional naps can offer more than just a quick energy boost- they can help reset the brain, reduce stress hormones, and improve emotional resilience, all of which are key factors in preventing burnout.

But can napping really make a difference when it comes to chronic stress and exhaustion? Research suggests that taking time to rest during the day helps improve mood, increase focus, and lower the risk of mental and physical health problems associated with burnout. In this post, we will explore how strategic napping supports mental health, why it is an essential practice for self-care, and tips on how to incorporate naps into your busy life without disrupting your nighttime sleep.

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

Love Island has become a cultural phenomenon, captivating people with its sun-filled villas and dramatic love stories. However, behind the glitz and glamour, there lies a darker reality: the intense pressure to embody perfection. Contestants are thrust into a world where their looks, personalities, and relationships are constantly scrutinized by both viewers and social media, creating an environment where self-worth is often measured by external validation. This constant spotlight can be mentally and emotionally taxing, especially for those who enter the villa seeking love and personal growth only to be met with the opposite experience of overwhelming expectations.

In this blog, we will explore how the quest for "perfection" on Love Island not only affects the mental health of contestants but also influences viewers. The narrative of flawless beauty, drama-filled romances, and constant competition perpetuates unrealistic ideals, raising important questions about body image, self-esteem, and the psychological toll of living up to society’s standards. Through this lens, we will dive deeper into the pressures of reality TV and examine how they contribute to an ongoing conversation about mental health in the entertainment industry.

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