Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

CBT for sleep issues

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Does Sleep Restriction Therapy Actually Work?

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Does Sleep Restriction Therapy Actually Work?

Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep can be frustrating, especially when tossing and turning night after night starts to affect your mood, focus, and overall health. For many, traditional advice like “just relax” or “avoid screens before bed” is not enough. That is where sleep restriction therapy comes in- a targeted behavioral approach designed to help people retrain their sleep patterns and improve sleep efficiency. Unlike methods that encourage more time in bed, sleep restriction therapy intentionally limits the time you spend in bed to consolidate sleep and strengthen your body’s natural sleep drive.

But does it really work? Research suggests that sleep restriction therapy can be remarkably effective, particularly for people with insomnia. By gradually adjusting your bedtime and wake time, this therapy helps reset your internal clock, reduce nighttime awakenings, and make falling asleep easier. While it can feel challenging at first, because you might be spending less time in bed than you want, the payoff often comes in the form of deeper, more restorative sleep. In this blog, we will explore how sleep restriction therapy works, why it is effective, and what you should know before trying it.

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, togetherness, and celebration but for those who are grieving, they can feel heavy, disorienting, and painfully quiet all at once. Grief during the holidays does not always look like tears at the table or visible sadness. Sometimes it shows up as numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or a deep sense of not belonging in moments that are supposed to feel warm and familiar. The contrast between personal loss and public celebration can make grief feel sharper, more isolating, and harder to explain. Research shows that, each year, roughly 35-40% of Americans feel too sad or too stressed to celebrate the holidays due to loss, loneliness, and additional factors. 

Grief can also be unpredictable during this season. One moment you may feel okay while laughing at a memory or enjoying a small tradition and the next you may feel overwhelmed by a song, a scent, or an empty chair. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and no timeline you are expected to follow. Understanding what grief can look like during this time is not about fixing it or making it disappear, but about offering yourself compassion and permission to feel whatever comes, exactly as it is.

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.

Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.

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