Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

Emotional regulation

, , ,

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

, , ,
Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Happiness has long been considered an elusive emotion. It is something we chase but can rarely define. With that being said, modern neuroscience is beginning to unravel the brain’s complex role in shaping our sense of well-being! From the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin to the intricate interplay of neural circuits in brain regions, such as the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, researchers are uncovering how our brains generate and sustain feelings of joy, contentment, and fulfillment. Understanding the mechanisms that are at play not only deepens our appreciation for human experience, but also opens the door to practical strategies for enhancing happiness in daily life.

Beyond biology, the neuroscience of happiness reveals that our minds are able to change. Studies in neuroplasticity show that even small changes in thought patterns, habits, and social connections can rewire the brain in ways that promote lasting positive emotions. By exploring how our brains respond to pleasure, reward, and meaning, we gain insight into the delicate balance between nature and nurture in pursuing happiness. Whether you are curious about the science behind a fleeting smile or seeking evidence-based ways to boost your own happiness levels, your brain offers fascinating clues to building a happier life.

, , , ,

What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

, , , ,
What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

In today’s hyper-connected world, our brains are constantly bombarded with information, from social media notifications and endless emails to news alerts and streaming content. This constant influx of digital stimuli can overwhelm our mental processing, leaving us feeling drained, unfocused, and even anxious. Known as digital overstimulation, this phenomenon occurs when the sheer volume of information we consume exceeds our brain’s ability to manage it effectively. While technology offers a lot of convenience and connectivity, it also comes with the hidden cost of mental fatigue and reduced cognitive performance.

The effects of digital overstimulation extend beyond mere distraction. Studies have shown that excessive screen time and constant exposure to digital stimuli can impair memory, disrupt sleep patterns, and increase stress levels. It can even alter how we process emotions and interact with others in real life. Recognizing the signs of digital overstimulation; such as restlessness, irritability, or difficulty concentrating; is the first step toward regaining control over your attention and mental well-being. In this blog, we will explore what digital overstimulation is, how it impacts your life, and practical strategies so you can reclaim your focus and sense of balance!

, , , ,

Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

, , , ,
Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

Gaming has evolved from a casual pastime into a full-fledged cultural phenomenon, offering immersive worlds, social connections, and endless challenges. While most players enjoy gaming responsibly, for some, what starts as a hobby can spiral into a compulsive habit. Recognizing the warning signs early is crucial, not only for the individual but also for their loved ones, because gaming addiction can subtly impact mental health, relationships, and daily responsibilities without being immediately obvious.

Understanding the behavioral patterns behind excessive gaming is the first step toward prevention and intervention. From neglecting work or school commitments to feeling irritable when not playing, these signs can manifest in ways that blend seamlessly into everyday life. By learning to spot these patterns, families, friends, and even gamers themselves can take proactive steps to regain balance, ensuring that gaming remains a fun and healthy part of life rather than a disruptive force.

, , , ,

How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

, , , ,
How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave deep, invisible scars which is one of the most common being a pervasive sense of guilt. Children of parents who struggle to regulate their emotions, empathize, or set healthy boundaries often internalize blame for things that are not their fault. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.”

From an early age, they may feel responsible for their parent’s moods, happiness, or conflicts, carrying an invisible weight that follows them into adulthood. This guilt is not just occasional, it can become a constant companion, shaping relationships, self-esteem, and decision-making for years to come.

The struggle with excessive guilt in these children is often misunderstood. Outsiders may see them as overly sensitive or self-critical, but in reality, their guilt is a learned survival mechanism. It stems from growing up in an environment where love and approval were conditional, emotional needs were overlooked, and mistakes were magnified. Understanding how this guilt develops is the first step toward breaking the cycle, reclaiming self-worth, and learning to differentiate between responsibility and unnecessary self-blame.

, , , ,

Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

, , , ,
Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.

Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.

, , ,

How Therapy Can Support Your Child’s Development

, , ,
How Therapy Can Support Your Child’s Development

Every child grows at their own pace, but sometimes they need a little extra support to thrive emotionally, socially, or behaviorally. Whether it is managing big feelings, improving communication, or building confidence, therapy can be a powerful tool to help children navigate the challenges of growing up. When introduced early and with care, therapy does not just address difficulties, it also builds a strong foundation for lifelong resilience and healthy development.

As a parent, it can be overwhelming to know when or how to seek help. But the truth is, meeting with a child counselor at Anchor Therapy is not just for times of crisis, it is also a proactive way to support your child's emotional and developmental needs. In this blog, we will explore how different types of child therapy work, the signs that your child may benefit, and how you can be an active partner in their growth journey.

, , , , ,

What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

, , , , ,
What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

, , , ,

How to Respond to Constructive Criticism with A Growth Mindset

, , , ,
How to Respond to Constructive Criticism with A Growth Mindset

Receiving constructive criticism can stir up a range of emotions- defensiveness, embarrassment, even self-doubt. But when viewed through a mental health lens, it is clear that how we respond to feedback can deeply impact our emotional well-being and personal growth. Instead of seeing criticism as a threat, reframing it as an opportunity for self-awareness and development can help build resilience and emotional intelligence.

In this blog, we will explore healthy, grounded ways to respond to constructive criticism while safeguarding your mental health. From recognizing emotional triggers to practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, you will learn strategies to handle feedback without letting it erode your self-worth. Growth does not mean perfection. Instead, it means learning how to listen, reflect, and move forward without losing your sense of self.

, , , , ,

How To Deal With A Child With OCD

, , , , ,
How To Deal With A Child With OCD

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be deeply distressing for both the child or teen experiencing it and the family supporting them. At Anchor Therapy, our OCD therapists often meet parents who feel overwhelmed, confused, or even helpless as they try to understand their child's behaviors whether it is constant hand-washing, repeated questioning, or an intense need for things to be "just right." OCD in children can show up differently than in adults and early intervention is key to helping them manage the intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that interfere with daily life.

Supporting a child with OCD requires more than just patience- it calls for informed, compassionate strategies that balance empathy with structure. From a therapeutic standpoint, we emphasize the importance of understanding the disorder, recognizing what is driven by anxiety versus defiance, and learning tools that empower both child and parent. In this blog, we will explore how to approach OCD with clarity and confidence, including how mental health counseling can support lasting change and provide relief for the whole family system.

, , , , ,

How To Stop Procrastinating

, , , , ,
How To Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination is a sneaky habit that often disguises itself as harmless delay until deadlines loom, anxiety spikes, and you find yourself scrambling to catch up. Whether it is putting off work tasks, avoiding chores, or sidestepping personal goals, most people know the cycle all too well: a burst of motivation, followed by distraction, guilt, and frustration. But breaking this pattern is not just about “trying harder”- it is about understanding why you procrastinate and building systems that make progress easier and more automatic. Check out our blog “4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks.” 

At its core, procrastination is not a sign of laziness. It is often a response to overwhelm, fear of failure, or a lack of clarity. To truly stop procrastinating, you need more than a to-do list; you need strategies that work with your brain, not against it. In this guide, we will explore practical tools and mindset shifts that help you take action even when motivation is low. Because lasting change does not come from willpower alone, it comes from designing your life in a way that makes follow-through feel doable!

, , , , ,

Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

, , , , ,
Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

The mass shooting that struck New York City in July 2025 left more than physical devastation- it tore through the emotional core of the city. As news broke and sirens echoed across boroughs, countless lives were instantly changed. For survivors, witnesses, families, and even those watching from afar, the psychological impact has been profound. In the days and weeks since, many are grappling with feelings of fear, helplessness, grief, and a shaken sense of safety in their everyday lives. Read our blog “How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?”. 

Trauma from events like these does not fade just because the headlines do. It lingers in unexpected moments, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, or the quiet isolation of sleepless nights. Whether you were directly affected or emotionally impacted from a distance, this post explores what trauma can look like, why it is normal to feel disoriented or overwhelmed, and how to begin taking small but meaningful steps toward healing. You are not alone and your pain is valid.

, , , , ,

What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

, , , , ,
What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

Invisible emotional labor refers to the often unrecognized and unacknowledged work of managing emotions- both your own and those of others. It is the mental and emotional effort that goes into maintaining harmony in relationships, managing workplace dynamics, or taking care of others' emotional needs without receiving formal recognition or compensation. This form of labor can show up in many areas of life, from supporting a friend through a tough time, to managing the mood of a team at work, to performing the emotional heavy lifting in a household. While it is typically invisible to others, it can weigh heavily on the person doing the work, leading to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

What makes invisible emotional labor particularly challenging is that it is often assumed to be a “natural” role or responsibility, especially for women, parents, or caregivers. Society tends to overlook the emotional effort it takes to keep relationships and environments functional, and often, the people doing this work do not even realize how much they are giving until they feel drained or overwhelmed. In this blog, we will unpack what invisible emotional labor looks like, why it is important to recognize it, and how to navigate it without letting it take a toll on your well-being.

, , , ,

Top Spots in Jersey City for a Mental Health Day

, , , ,
Top Spots in Jersey City for a Mental Health Day

Taking a mental health day is all about pressing pause and giving yourself the time and space to recharge- something we all need more often than we realize. Jersey City, with its blend of urban energy and tranquil green spaces, offers plenty of perfect spots where you can step away from the daily grind and focus on your well-being. Whether you are seeking a peaceful park, a cozy café to unwind in, or a wellness center to nurture your mind and body, Jersey City has something to help you reset and reconnect with yourself. 

In this guide, we will explore some of the best places in Jersey City to spend a restorative mental health day. From scenic waterfront walks to calming yoga studios and quiet spots for meditation, these destinations are ideal for anyone looking to reduce stress, practice self-care, or simply enjoy a moment of calm in the city’s vibrant atmosphere. No matter what kind of mental health day you need, Jersey City has options to support your journey to wellness!

, , , ,

What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

, , , ,
What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is a highly effective, evidence-based treatment designed to strengthen the parent-child relationship while addressing difficult behaviors in young children, typically between the ages of 2 and 7. Developed by psychologist Dr. Sheila Eyberg, PCIT helps parents learn practical, real-time strategies for promoting positive behavior and managing challenging ones all while deepening emotional connection. Using a unique setup where child therapists at Anchor Therapy coach parents during play sessions, PCIT allows caregivers to apply new skills immediately and confidently, creating lasting change within the family dynamic!

At the heart of PCIT is the belief that strong, healthy parent-child relationships are the foundation for emotional and behavioral development. Through its two-phase model- Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) and Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)- parents learn to foster warmth, trust, and effective communication while also setting consistent boundaries. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.” As a result, children often become more cooperative and emotionally secure, and parents report feeling more in control and connected. By rebuilding relationships through guided interaction, PCIT not only reduces behavioral issues but also brings families closer together.

, , , ,

The 5 Steps of Narrative Therapy for Trauma

, , , ,
The 5 Steps of Narrative Therapy for Trauma

If you have dealt with trauma in the past, you are likely looking for a way to better understand and regulate your emotions. Read our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions” for more information. Trauma has a way of taking over all aspects of your life, even years after the traumatic incident occurred. Narrative therapy is a successful treatment approach for people struggling with trauma or trauma disorders, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Check out our blog “5 Healthy Ways to Cope with PTSD.”

Sometimes, trauma can be so complex and feel too intense when you try to think about it deeply. However, narrative counseling is a form of psychotherapy where you can get more clarity on past events so your memories become less overwhelming. You may find some events easier to understand and cope with once you create a clearer narrative or picture of the trauma you have experienced.

, , ,

How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

, , ,
How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

Grief does not just change how we feel- it can fundamentally alter who we believe we are. When someone close to you dies, especially a partner, parent, child, or lifelong friend, it is not only the relationship you lose, but also the roles you held in connection to them. A spouse becomes a widow, a daughter becomes an only child, a caregiver suddenly has no one to care for. These identity shifts can feel disorienting as if the ground beneath us has shifted and we are left searching for a new version of ourselves in the aftermath.

What makes this identity loss so profound is that it often goes unspoken. We expect grief to come with tears and sadness, but not with a crisis about yourself. Yet, many people find that after loss, they no longer recognize themselves or the life they imagined. The process of grieving, then, becomes not just about mourning the person who is gone, but about reconstructing an identity in a world that looks and feels entirely different than what you are used to.

, , , ,

10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

, , , ,
10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

hobokengirl2017 Hoboken-2021-Winner-Decal Hoboken-2022-Winner-Decal Hoboken-2024-Winner-Decal