nj therapist, nyc therapist, boundaries
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
nyc therapist, relationship counseling, loneliness
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
trauma counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

relationship therapy

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your mental well-being, yet many of us struggle to assert them without feeling guilty. Whether it is saying no to extra work, limiting time with draining friends, or prioritizing self-care, the fear of disappointing others can make boundaries feel selfish or uncomfortable. But in reality, boundaries are not about pushing people away. Instead, they are about creating space for respect, clarity, and balance in your life. Learning to set them effectively allows you to honor your needs while still nurturing meaningful connections.

The key is approaching boundaries with confidence and compassion, both for yourself and others. It is about understanding that saying no or setting limits does not make you unkind; it makes you human. With the right strategies, you can communicate your limits clearly, manage guilt, and maintain relationships that thrive on mutual respect. In this blog, we will explore practical ways to set boundaries without shame, empowering you to live authentically while keeping your mental health intact!

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is one of the most common, and misunderstood, emotions in relationships. It can show up quietly as insecurity or loudly as suspicion, often leaving both partners feeling confused, hurt, or defensive. While jealousy is a natural human response rooted in fear of loss, it does not have to damage a relationship. In fact, when handled thoughtfully, it can become an opportunity to better understand your emotions, strengthen communication, and build deeper trust with your partner.

Learning how to handle jealousy starts with honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to jealous feelings, it is important to explore where they come from and what they are trying to tell you. Are they rooted in past experiences, unmet needs, or a lack of reassurance? By approaching jealousy with curiosity rather than blame, couples can turn moments of tension into meaningful conversations that foster emotional intimacy and long-term stability.

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Exploring the Neuroscience of Happiness

Happiness has long been considered an elusive emotion. It is something we chase but can rarely define. With that being said, modern neuroscience is beginning to unravel the brain’s complex role in shaping our sense of well-being! From the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin to the intricate interplay of neural circuits in brain regions, such as the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, researchers are uncovering how our brains generate and sustain feelings of joy, contentment, and fulfillment. Understanding the mechanisms that are at play not only deepens our appreciation for human experience, but also opens the door to practical strategies for enhancing happiness in daily life.

Beyond biology, the neuroscience of happiness reveals that our minds are able to change. Studies in neuroplasticity show that even small changes in thought patterns, habits, and social connections can rewire the brain in ways that promote lasting positive emotions. By exploring how our brains respond to pleasure, reward, and meaning, we gain insight into the delicate balance between nature and nurture in pursuing happiness. Whether you are curious about the science behind a fleeting smile or seeking evidence-based ways to boost your own happiness levels, your brain offers fascinating clues to building a happier life.

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How to Stop Chasing Validation

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How to Stop Chasing Validation

There is a quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly looking outward for approval. This can look like measuring your worth through likes, praise, or someone else’s opinion of you. Chasing validation can feel productive in the moment, like you are building confidence, but it often leaves you more dependent and unsure of who you really are. The more you rely on others to tell you you are enough, the more power you give away, and the harder it becomes to stand firmly in your own identity.

Learning to stop chasing validation is not about shutting people out or pretending you do not care, it is about shifting where your sense of worth comes from. When you begin to trust your own voice, honor your values, and recognize your inherent worth, something powerful happens: you stop performing for approval and start living with intention. This journey is not instant, but it is one of the most freeing steps you can take toward real self-love.

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What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

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What Is Digital Overstimulation and How Is It Affecting You?

In today’s hyper-connected world, our brains are constantly bombarded with information, from social media notifications and endless emails to news alerts and streaming content. This constant influx of digital stimuli can overwhelm our mental processing, leaving us feeling drained, unfocused, and even anxious. Known as digital overstimulation, this phenomenon occurs when the sheer volume of information we consume exceeds our brain’s ability to manage it effectively. While technology offers a lot of convenience and connectivity, it also comes with the hidden cost of mental fatigue and reduced cognitive performance.

The effects of digital overstimulation extend beyond mere distraction. Studies have shown that excessive screen time and constant exposure to digital stimuli can impair memory, disrupt sleep patterns, and increase stress levels. It can even alter how we process emotions and interact with others in real life. Recognizing the signs of digital overstimulation; such as restlessness, irritability, or difficulty concentrating; is the first step toward regaining control over your attention and mental well-being. In this blog, we will explore what digital overstimulation is, how it impacts your life, and practical strategies so you can reclaim your focus and sense of balance!

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Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

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Spot the Signs of Gaming Addiction

Gaming has evolved from a casual pastime into a full-fledged cultural phenomenon, offering immersive worlds, social connections, and endless challenges. While most players enjoy gaming responsibly, for some, what starts as a hobby can spiral into a compulsive habit. Recognizing the warning signs early is crucial, not only for the individual but also for their loved ones, because gaming addiction can subtly impact mental health, relationships, and daily responsibilities without being immediately obvious.

Understanding the behavioral patterns behind excessive gaming is the first step toward prevention and intervention. From neglecting work or school commitments to feeling irritable when not playing, these signs can manifest in ways that blend seamlessly into everyday life. By learning to spot these patterns, families, friends, and even gamers themselves can take proactive steps to regain balance, ensuring that gaming remains a fun and healthy part of life rather than a disruptive force.

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Hoboken

Relationships thrive on emotional connection, yet many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional distance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples offers a research-based approach that helps partners move beyond surface arguments to understand the deeper emotions and attachment needs driving their interactions. Instead of focusing solely on communication techniques, EFT works to strengthen the emotional bond between partners which helps you and your partner feel safer, more supported, and more understood in the relationship.

Through guided conversations and structured interventions, EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns and replace them with healthier ways of responding to each other. As partners learn to express vulnerable emotions and respond with empathy rather than defensiveness, trust and closeness can gradually be rebuilt. The goal of EFT is not just resolving conflicts, but creating a secure emotional connection that allows couples to face challenges together with greater resilience and intimacy.

The Rise and Misuse of Therapy Speak

The Rise and Misuse of Therapy Speak

In recent years, therapy language has moved far beyond the therapist’s office and into everyday conversations, social media posts, and online debates. Words like “gaslighting,” “boundaries,” and “toxic” are now part of the cultural vocabulary, often used to explain difficult relationships or personal struggles. This growing awareness of mental health has helped reduce stigma and encouraged many people to reflect on their emotional well-being. But as these terms become more popular, their meanings can also become blurred, stretched, or misapplied in ways that stray from their original psychological context.

When therapy speak is used loosely, it can unintentionally distort important concepts and oversimplify complex human interactions. Labeling disagreements as “gaslighting,” calling someone “toxic,” or framing ordinary conflict as a violation of “boundaries” can turn nuanced situations into moral judgments. 

Instead of promoting understanding, the language meant to foster healing can sometimes shut down dialogue or pathologize normal behavior. As therapy terms continue to shape the way we talk about relationships and emotions, it is worth reflecting if we are using this language to better understand ourselves, or if we are misusing them.

The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

The Warning Signs of Depression in Men

Men are often taught to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved which can make depression in men harder to recognize and even harder to talk about. Unlike the stereotypical image of sadness or tears, male depression often shows up as irritability, anger, exhaustion, or withdrawal. Many men struggle in silence, dismissing their symptoms as stress or burnout, while the weight of untreated depression continues to grow.

Recognizing the early warning signs can be life-changing. From sudden mood shifts and loss of interest in activities to changes in sleep, work performance, or risky behavior, these signals should not be ignored. Understanding what depression looks like in men is the first step toward breaking stigma, encouraging honest conversations, and seeking the right support before things escalate.

Attachment Issues and Dating: What You Need to Know

Attachment Issues and Dating: What You Need to Know

Dating can be complicated enough without the invisible weight of attachment issues shaping your thoughts, reactions, and expectations. If you have ever found yourself getting attached too quickly, pulling away when things start to feel serious, or constantly worrying about where you stand, you are not alone. Attachment issues often develop early in life, but they tend to show up most clearly in romantic relationships where vulnerability, trust, and emotional closeness are front and center. View our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.” 

Understanding how attachment issues influence your dating patterns is the first step toward building healthier, more secure connections. When you recognize your triggers, communication habits, and emotional responses, you gain the power to respond intentionally instead of reactively. Whether you are navigating new relationships or trying to break old cycles, learning how attachment impacts dating can help you move toward deeper, more stable love.

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

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Everyday Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Tools for Hoboken Residents

Life in Hoboken can be fast-paced, vibrant, and full of little stressors, from the morning rush along Washington Street to navigating crowded weekend spots by the waterfront. Amid the city’s energy, it is easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, anxiety, or frustration over things beyond your control. That is where Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) comes in. REBT offers practical tools to help you identify irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with healthier, more rational ways of thinking which turns everyday stress into opportunities for calm and clarity.

For Hoboken residents, applying REBT does not always mean setting aside hours for therapy sessions. It is about using simple, everyday strategies to respond more effectively to life’s challenges whether that is dealing with traffic on Sinatra Drive, handling work stress, or navigating social pressures in a tightly knit community. By integrating REBT into your daily routine, you can develop a mindset that’s both resilient and rational, helping you enjoy Hoboken’s unique charm without letting small frustrations take over!

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10 Type A Personality Traits That Drive Success

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10 Type A Personality Traits That Drive Success

If you have ever been described as competitive, driven, or always “on the go,” you might recognize yourself in the world of Type A personalities. Known for their ambition, focus, and relentless pursuit of goals, individuals with strong Type A personality traits often stand out in high-performance environments. They set high standards, manage their time carefully, and rarely shy away from a challenge. But what exactly makes these traits so powerful and how do they translate into real-world success?

In this blog, we will explore 10 Type A personality traits that drive success, from unwavering determination to exceptional organizational skills. Whether you identify as Type A yourself or work alongside someone who does, understanding these characteristics can help you harness their strengths while staying mindful of potential downsides. Let us take a closer look at the qualities that fuel achievement and shape some of today’s most motivated individuals!

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6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

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6 Common Myths About ENM Relationships and Why They Are Wrong

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is often misunderstood, and many of the ideas floating around about it are more myth than reality. From assumptions that ENM relationships are inherently unstable to the belief that jealousy makes them impossible, misconceptions can create unnecessary fear or judgment for those exploring this relationship style. These myths not only misrepresent the experiences of people in ENM but also make it harder for newcomers to approach it with confidence and clarity. Understanding what ENM truly is and what it is not is the first step in challenging these misconceptions!

In reality, ENM relationships come in many forms, from open relationships to polyamory, and can be deeply fulfilling when approached ethically and intentionally. Just like any other relationship, success in ENM depends on communication, trust, and respect- not on rigid societal norms about monogamy. By examining the most common myths and setting the record straight, this blog aims to shed light on how ENM works in practice, offering a clearer, more accurate perspective for anyone curious about exploring alternative ways of loving.

How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave deep, invisible scars which is one of the most common being a pervasive sense of guilt. Children of parents who struggle to regulate their emotions, empathize, or set healthy boundaries often internalize blame for things that are not their fault. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.”

From an early age, they may feel responsible for their parent’s moods, happiness, or conflicts, carrying an invisible weight that follows them into adulthood. This guilt is not just occasional, it can become a constant companion, shaping relationships, self-esteem, and decision-making for years to come.

The struggle with excessive guilt in these children is often misunderstood. Outsiders may see them as overly sensitive or self-critical, but in reality, their guilt is a learned survival mechanism. It stems from growing up in an environment where love and approval were conditional, emotional needs were overlooked, and mistakes were magnified. Understanding how this guilt develops is the first step toward breaking the cycle, reclaiming self-worth, and learning to differentiate between responsibility and unnecessary self-blame.

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Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

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Situationships in the Age of Dating Apps

In today’s world, dating often happens through swipes, likes, and endless scrolling, creating a new environment where undefined relationships, commonly called situationships, thrive. Dating apps offer instant connection and convenience, but they also encourage ambiguity. When communication is limited to messages and profile impressions, it is easy for two people to enjoy each other’s company without ever defining what their relationship actually is. The line between casual fun and emotional investment becomes blurry, leaving many people stuck in cycles of hope, disappointment, and uncertainty.

Situationships in the age of dating apps are fueled by the illusion of infinite choice. When potential partners are just a swipe away, commitment can feel optional, and exploring other options becomes normalized, even when emotional attachment is already present. This dynamic can make people question their own feelings, wonder if they are being “too invested,” or stay in limbo longer than they would have otherwise. Understanding how modern technology shapes our dating experiences is key to recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and navigating the messy gray area between casual connection and meaningful commitment.

Does Asexuality Exist On A Spectrum?

Does Asexuality Exist On A Spectrum?

Asexuality is often misunderstood as a single, fixed experience, but for many people, it is far more nuanced than that. At its core, asexuality describes experiencing little to no sexual attraction but how that shows up can vary widely from person to person. Some asexual people may never feel sexual attraction at all, while others experience it rarely, under specific circumstances, or with fluctuating intensity over time. This diversity has led many within the community to describe asexuality not as a strict category, but as a spectrum.

Understanding asexuality as a spectrum helps make space for identities such as graysexual and demisexual, as well as for asexual people who still desire romantic relationships, intimacy, or even sex itself. It challenges the idea that attraction, desire, and behavior must always align, and invites a more inclusive conversation about how people experience connection. Exploring the asexual spectrum is not about creating more labels, it is about recognizing the complexity of human experience and validating those who have long felt unseen or misunderstood.

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Emotional Avoidance Behind Hyper-Independence

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Emotional Avoidance Behind Hyper-Independence

Hyper-independence is often celebrated in our culture as strength, resilience, and self-sufficiency. Yet, for many people, it is not just a preference, it is a protective strategy. At its core, hyper-independence can be a form of emotional avoidance, a way to manage uncomfortable feelings like fear, vulnerability, or shame. By relying solely on themselves and refusing help from others, hyper-independent individuals can avoid confronting emotions that feel unsafe, unfamiliar, or overwhelming. Over time, this pattern may create the illusion of control while actually limiting connection, intimacy, and personal growth.

Understanding the emotional roots of hyper-independence is essential for breaking the cycle. People who grew up in environments where asking for help was discouraged, unsafe, or met with criticism often learn to suppress emotional needs and rely entirely on themselves. While this strategy may have been adaptive in childhood, it can become limiting in adulthood, leading to isolation, burnout, and difficulty forming meaningful relationships. In this blog post, we will explore how emotional avoidance fuels hyper-independence and practical steps to start embracing connection and vulnerability safely. Read our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.”

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