Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

anxiety coach

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The 5 Best Spots to WFH in Hoboken

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The 5 Best Spots to WFH in Hoboken

Working from home has its perks- no commute, cozy clothes, and your favorite coffee just steps away. But spending all day in the same space can start to blur the lines between work and rest which can take a toll on your mental health. Changing your environment, even just for a few hours, can boost focus, creativity, and emotional well-being. For many people, a simple shift to a different setting, especially one with natural light and a bit of buzz, can make the workday feel lighter and more balanced.

At Anchor Therapy, our mental health counselors know that taking care of your mind means finding small ways to refresh your routine. Hoboken offers plenty of welcoming spots that are perfect for working remotely, from cozy coffee shops to peaceful parks with Wi-Fi. Whether you are looking to power through emails or simply reconnect with your surroundings, here are some of the best spots in Hoboken to work from home without actually staying home.

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

Navigating school can be challenging for any student, but for those living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the academic environment often presents unique hurdles. From managing intrusive thoughts during class to handling compulsions in social settings, students with OCD may feel overwhelmed, isolated, or misunderstood. These challenges can impact not only academic performance but also emotional well-being and peer relationships. The good news? With the right tools, support systems, and coping strategies in place, students with OCD can thrive in school.

At Anchor Therapy, we work closely with students, parents, and educators to create supportive environments that reduce anxiety and encourage healthy coping. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies for managing OCD symptoms throughout the school day, from preparing in the morning to handling difficult moments in the classroom. Whether you are a student, parent, or school professional, these tools can help build resilience, foster independence, and promote success both inside and outside the classroom.

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How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

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How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

In today’s dating culture, the line between "casually seeing someone" and "being in a relationship" can be frustratingly blurry and that gray area is often called a situationship. A situationship is when you are more than friends, less than official, and constantly guessing where you stand. Maybe it started off light and easy, but now you are emotionally invested while still lacking clarity, consistency, or commitment. If you are feeling stuck, confused, or emotionally drained, you are not alone and it may be time to reevaluate what you are really getting out of the connection.

Getting out of a situationship can feel trickier than breaking off a defined relationship. There might not be clear rules, but that does not mean your feelings are not real and it does not mean you have to stay in something that no longer serves you. Whether you are looking for more or finally ready to let go, this blog will help you recognize the signs it is time to move on, navigate the emotional side of detaching, and set clear boundaries for your next chapter. Read our blog “How to Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships.”

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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What is Type A Personality?

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What is Type A Personality?

Ever wondered why some people always seem to be in a hurry, intensely focused on goals, and driven by competition? These traits are often associated with what psychologists call a Type A personality. First introduced in the 1950s by cardiologists Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, the Type A behavior pattern has since become a popular way to describe individuals who thrive on achievement, urgency, and high standards- sometimes to the point of stress.

In this blog post, we will explore what it really means to have a Type A personality, how it can influence behavior, relationships, and even health, and why understanding this personality type can help you better manage your lifestyle! Whether you identify as Type A yourself or know someone who fits the mold, gaining insight into this personality type can offer valuable tools for balance, productivity, and well-being.

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

Highly functional depression is often hidden behind smiles and success. It is a form of depression where you may appear to manage daily responsibilities- work, relationships, and social interactions- while silently struggling with persistent emotional pain. Unlike major depressive episodes that can be visibly debilitating, highly functional depression allows people to "keep it together" externally, making it difficult for others to notice anything is wrong. It is commonly associated with dysthymia, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a long-term, low-grade form of depression that can subtly drain a person’s joy and motivation over time. According to research from the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1.5% of United States adults experience dysthymia within a given year.

What makes this condition particularly challenging is that those experiencing it often feel invalidated or misunderstood. If you resonate with high-functioning depression, you might dismiss your own suffering because you are still achieving goals or receiving praise, leading to guilt, burnout, and a worsening emotional state. In this blog, we will unpack the signs, causes, and consequences of highly functional depression and, most importantly, explore steps toward healing even when everything “seems fine” on the outside.

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Is Doomscrolling Really That Bad?

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Is Doomscrolling Really That Bad?

Doomscrolling, the act of endlessly scrolling through negative or distressing news on social media, has become an all-too-familiar habit in today’s digital age. While it may seem like a harmless way to pass the time, research suggests that this constant exposure to unsettling information can have a real toll on our mental health. The more we consume, the more likely we are to feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even helpless as the barrage of bad news seems relentless and often out of our control. 

Despite its reputation, doomscrolling does not have to be an inherently damaging activity. It all depends on how we engage with the information and how much we let it affect us. With the right mindset and conscious boundaries, we can learn to navigate the digital world without letting it drag us into a spiral of stress and anxiety. Understanding why doomscrolling happens and how to break the cycle can offer a path toward a healthier relationship with the constant flow of news.

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

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Love Island and the Pressure of Perfection

Love Island has become a cultural phenomenon, captivating people with its sun-filled villas and dramatic love stories. However, behind the glitz and glamour, there lies a darker reality: the intense pressure to embody perfection. Contestants are thrust into a world where their looks, personalities, and relationships are constantly scrutinized by both viewers and social media, creating an environment where self-worth is often measured by external validation. This constant spotlight can be mentally and emotionally taxing, especially for those who enter the villa seeking love and personal growth only to be met with the opposite experience of overwhelming expectations.

In this blog, we will explore how the quest for "perfection" on Love Island not only affects the mental health of contestants but also influences viewers. The narrative of flawless beauty, drama-filled romances, and constant competition perpetuates unrealistic ideals, raising important questions about body image, self-esteem, and the psychological toll of living up to society’s standards. Through this lens, we will dive deeper into the pressures of reality TV and examine how they contribute to an ongoing conversation about mental health in the entertainment industry.

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

Caretaker’s Syndrome- also known as caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue- is a silent, often overlooked struggle that affects people who spend much of their time tending to the needs of others. Whether you are caring for a sick family member, managing the emotional labor in your relationships or constantly putting others before yourself, the toll can be overwhelming. Over time, you may find yourself feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, disconnected from your own needs, and even resentful yet unable to stop giving. It is a cycle that can feel impossible to break on your own.

This is where counseling at Anchor Therapy can make a powerful difference. Far from being just a space to vent, therapy provides a structured, supportive environment where you can safely explore how your caretaking patterns developed, what emotional costs they carry, and how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and sense of self. Through personalized strategies- like setting boundaries, processing guilt, and rediscovering your own identity- therapy helps you move from surviving to truly healing. It is not about abandoning your care for others; it is about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

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How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?

Grief does not just change how we feel- it can fundamentally alter who we believe we are. When someone close to you dies, especially a partner, parent, child, or lifelong friend, it is not only the relationship you lose, but also the roles you held in connection to them. A spouse becomes a widow, a daughter becomes an only child, a caregiver suddenly has no one to care for. These identity shifts can feel disorienting as if the ground beneath us has shifted and we are left searching for a new version of ourselves in the aftermath.

What makes this identity loss so profound is that it often goes unspoken. We expect grief to come with tears and sadness, but not with a crisis about yourself. Yet, many people find that after loss, they no longer recognize themselves or the life they imagined. The process of grieving, then, becomes not just about mourning the person who is gone, but about reconstructing an identity in a world that looks and feels entirely different than what you are used to.

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

Retroactive jealousy is the uncomfortable feelings triggered by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. It can be surprisingly common, yet it may leave you feeling isolated, ashamed, or confused. Whether it is fixating on exes, overanalyzing old social media posts, or imagining past romantic encounters, many individuals silently grapple with these intrusive thoughts and wonder if their emotional reactions are healthy or harmful.

In this blog post, we will explore the psychology behind retroactive jealousy, why it happens, and most importantly, whether it is considered "normal." Understanding this phenomenon can help you navigate your emotions with greater clarity and compassion while distinguishing between manageable insecurity and deeper emotional patterns that may need attention.

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

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Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

If you have ever felt stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by emotions, or unsure how to move forward despite your best efforts, you are not alone and there is a therapy designed with that exact struggle in mind! Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present, even when things feel hard, and to take meaningful action guided by your values. Rather than trying to “fix” your thoughts or feelings, ACT teaches you how to relate to them differently, so they no longer control your life.


But how do you know if ACT is the right fit for you? Whether you are facing anxiety, depression, chronic stress, or simply feeling lost or disconnected, ACT offers a powerful framework for change that is backed by decades of research. This blog will help you understand what ACT really involves, who it works best for, and how it might support your personal growth and healing so you can make an informed, empowered decision about your mental health journey.

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

In recent years, online therapy has moved from a niche service to a mainstream mental health resource, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic that  heightened both the demand for therapy and the need for accessible care! But for those dealing with the deep and complex wounds of trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a common question arises: Can healing really happen through a screen? This blog explores the effectiveness of online psychotherapy for trauma-related conditions, separating fact from myth and offering insights grounded into virtual therapy at Anchor Therapy.


Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or transitioning from in-person sessions, understanding how online formats support trauma recovery is essential. We will look at the science behind virtual trauma treatments, including Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and somatic approaches. After reading this blog, you will feel empowered with the information you need to make the right choice for your mental health journey.

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

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5 Ways to Overcome Climate Change Anxiety

Climate change anxiety, often referred to as "eco-anxiety," is becoming more prevalent as the effects of global warming continue to intensify. Many people, especially younger generations, feel overwhelmed by the growing threats of rising temperatures, extreme weather events, and environmental degradation. This sense of helplessness can lead to stress, fear, and uncertainty about the future. While it is natural to be concerned about the state of the planet, it is crucial to find ways to manage these feelings in order to stay motivated and proactive in addressing the climate crisis.


In this blog, we will explore five effective ways to overcome climate change anxiety and regain a sense of agency. By shifting focus from feelings of helplessness to actions we can take, we can foster hope and resilience in the face of environmental challenges. Whether it is through personal lifestyle changes, connecting with others, or engaging in advocacy, these strategies will help you manage anxiety and feel empowered to contribute to positive change. Understanding that small actions matter and that collective efforts can lead to meaningful impact is key to navigating eco-anxiety in a healthy, productive way!

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

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Are Naps Good for Mental Health?

Napping has long been viewed as a luxury or a habit reserved for the lazy, but recent research suggests that naps can actually be a powerful tool for improving mental health! In our busy, often sleep-deprived world, short naps have become an easy, accessible way to combat fatigue and enhance cognitive performance. When used wisely, naps can help boost mood, increase alertness, and provide a mental reset, making it easier to stay focused and tackle tasks with greater efficiency. Far from being a sign of laziness, taking time for a nap can be an essential practice for maintaining mental well-being in a demanding world.


The benefits of napping go beyond just feeling more awake. Regular naps can reduce stress, improve memory, and even lower the risk of developing anxiety or depression. With the rise of burnout and mental exhaustion, taking short breaks throughout the day, such as a quick nap, has been shown to be an effective way to recharge and maintain emotional balance. In this blog, we will explore the science behind napping and how incorporating this simple habit into your routine can have lasting positive effects on your mental health.

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

Personal growth goes beyond merely achieving your goals- it is all about changing how you think, feel, and respond to the challenges that life throws your way. One powerful therapeutic tool that can be used for personal transformation is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT is a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that was developed by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis. REBT helps you realize that your beliefs, not external events, are the real source of your emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts, you can create long-lasting emotional and behavioral change.


In this blog post, we will explore five practical ways REBT can help you grow whether you are looking for improved emotional control, better relationships, or a stronger sense of self. When you learn to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that hold you back, you can replace them with rational, empowering thoughts that support your personal growth journey. Let us dive into how REBT can help you become a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself!

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