Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

school stress

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10 Type A Personality Traits That Drive Success

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10 Type A Personality Traits That Drive Success

If you have ever been described as competitive, driven, or always “on the go,” you might recognize yourself in the world of Type A personalities. Known for their ambition, focus, and relentless pursuit of goals, individuals with strong Type A personality traits often stand out in high-performance environments. They set high standards, manage their time carefully, and rarely shy away from a challenge. But what exactly makes these traits so powerful and how do they translate into real-world success?

In this blog, we will explore 10 Type A personality traits that drive success, from unwavering determination to exceptional organizational skills. Whether you identify as Type A yourself or work alongside someone who does, understanding these characteristics can help you harness their strengths while staying mindful of potential downsides. Let us take a closer look at the qualities that fuel achievement and shape some of today’s most motivated individuals!

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How to Plan A Trip When You Have Claustrophobia

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How to Plan A Trip When You Have Claustrophobia

Traveling is an exciting way to explore new cultures, meet people, and create unforgettable memories but, for those with claustrophobia, even the thought of crowded airports, cramped airplane seats, or tight hotel rooms can turn a dream trip into a stressful experience. Planning ahead is key to minimizing anxiety and ensuring that your journey feels safe and enjoyable rather than overwhelming. With the right strategies, it is possible to design a travel experience that accommodates your comfort needs without missing out on adventure!

From choosing destinations that feel spacious and open to selecting accommodations and transportation that prioritize personal space, careful planning can make a world of difference. This guide will walk you through practical tips and considerations for every stage of your trip, from booking flights and packing smartly to navigating crowded tourist spots, so that claustrophobia does not stand in the way of your desire to travel. By approaching travel thoughtfully, you can transform potential stressors into manageable steps and truly enjoy the journey ahead.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for OCD: How It Works and Why It Helps

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for OCD: How It Works and Why It Helps

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is widely recognized as one of the most effective treatments for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD is characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental rituals (compulsions) aimed at reducing anxiety. These patterns can interfere with daily life, relationships, and overall well-being. CBT for OCD is a structured, evidence-based approach that helps individuals understand the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and gradually learn to respond to obsessions in healthier ways. Unlike medications alone, CBT addresses the root patterns that maintain OCD symptoms.

One of the key components of CBT for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which involves facing feared situations or intrusive thoughts without engaging in compulsive behaviors. Through this process, individuals learn to tolerate uncertainty and anxiety, ultimately reducing the power of obsessions over time. CBT also incorporates cognitive restructuring, helping clients challenge unhelpful beliefs and develop more balanced thinking patterns. Delivered by trained therapists at Anchor Therapy, CBT for OCD empowers individuals to regain control, improve daily functioning, and build long-lasting coping skills that support a more balanced, fulfilling life.

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Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

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Staying Motivated with New Years Goals

The start of a new year often comes with excitement and a long list of goals, from improving grades and learning new skills to taking better care of yourself. But as the days go by, that initial enthusiasm can fade, leaving you frustrated or unsure of how to keep moving forward. Staying motivated is not about pushing yourself relentlessly; it is about finding strategies that make your goals feel achievable, meaningful, and even enjoyable. Understanding why motivation fluctuates and how to respond to those dips can make a big difference in whether your resolutions stick or fade away by February.

One of the keys to staying motivated is breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. When you focus on progress rather than perfection, each step becomes a victory worth celebrating which fuels momentum. Pairing this with self-compassion, such as reminding yourself that setbacks are normal and not a sign of failure, can prevent discouragement from taking over. By combining practical planning with patience and flexibility, you can create a system that keeps your goals alive throughout the year, turning intentions into lasting habits rather than fleeting resolutions. Read our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

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What Grief Can Look Like During The Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, togetherness, and celebration but for those who are grieving, they can feel heavy, disorienting, and painfully quiet all at once. Grief during the holidays does not always look like tears at the table or visible sadness. Sometimes it shows up as numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or a deep sense of not belonging in moments that are supposed to feel warm and familiar. The contrast between personal loss and public celebration can make grief feel sharper, more isolating, and harder to explain. Research shows that, each year, roughly 35-40% of Americans feel too sad or too stressed to celebrate the holidays due to loss, loneliness, and additional factors. 

Grief can also be unpredictable during this season. One moment you may feel okay while laughing at a memory or enjoying a small tradition and the next you may feel overwhelmed by a song, a scent, or an empty chair. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and no timeline you are expected to follow. Understanding what grief can look like during this time is not about fixing it or making it disappear, but about offering yourself compassion and permission to feel whatever comes, exactly as it is.

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Holiday Stress Archetypes: Are You the Over-Planner, Peacekeeper, or Procrasinator?

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Holiday Stress Archetypes: Are You the Over-Planner, Peacekeeper, or Procrasinator?

The holidays may be a time filled with nostalgia and celebration, but beneath the glitter lies a familiar tension many of us try to hide. From last-minute shopping to emotional family dynamics, stress shows up in wildly different ways and most of us fall into predictable patterns without even realizing it. That is where the idea of holiday stress archetypes comes in. These personality-driven patterns shape how we plan, react, and cope during the busiest season of the year, and understanding them can help you navigate the holidays with far more clarity and calm.

This year, instead of pushing through on autopilot, take a closer look at your holiday habits. Are you the over-planner who finds comfort in perfectly color-coded lists? The peacekeeper who smooths over every conflict and ends up emotionally drained? Or the procrastinator who waits until deadline pressure kicks motivation into high gear? Identifying your archetype is not about labeling yourself. Instead, it is about uncovering what you need to stay balanced, joyful, and grounded during a season that often demands more than it gives. Let us explore how recognizing your patterns can transform the way you experience the holidays!

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How Can I Increase My Concentration and Focus?

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How Can I Increase My Concentration and Focus?

In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining concentration and focus can feel like an uphill battle. Between constant notifications, multitasking, and mental fatigue, it is easy to get distracted and struggle to stay on task. Whether you are trying to excel at work, study more efficiently, or simply manage daily responsibilities, understanding how attention works and learning strategies to strengthen it can make a meaningful difference in your productivity and overall well-being.

Improving focus is not just about willpower, it involves creating the right environment, cultivating healthy habits, and training your brain to stay engaged. Small, intentional changes in your routine can have a significant impact, from minimizing distractions and organizing your workspace to practicing mindfulness and managing energy levels throughout the day. In this blog, we will explore practical, evidence-based ways to boost your concentration and sustain mental clarity so you can approach tasks with greater efficiency and confidence.

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

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Why Perfectionists Struggle with Sleep

Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.

Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.

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Returning to Work After Loss

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Returning to Work After Loss

Returning to work after experiencing a loss can feel overwhelming as grief does not follow a set schedule and often does not pause when life demands productivity. The workplace, with its deadlines, meetings, and social expectations can amplify feelings of exhaustion, emotional vulnerability, and disconnection. Many people find themselves juggling the need to perform professionally while navigating waves of sadness, guilt, or anxiety which can make even familiar tasks feel daunting.

Yet, returning to work can also offer structure, purpose, and a sense of normalcy during a difficult time. With the right strategies and support, it is possible to honor your grief while gradually re-engaging with your professional responsibilities. In this post, we will explore practical ways to navigate this transition, manage emotional triggers, and seek support in the workplace so that returning to work becomes a step toward healing rather than an added source of stress.

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The Difference Between Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) vs Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

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The Difference Between Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) vs Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) are often mentioned interchangeably, but understanding the distinction is crucial, especially for mental health awareness. While PMS is relatively common and typically involves mild emotional and physical symptoms like irritability, bloating, and fatigue, PMDD is a far more severe condition that can significantly disrupt daily life. 

Women with PMDD may experience intense mood swings, debilitating anxiety, deep sadness, and even thoughts of hopelessness, often in the week leading up to menstruation. Recognizing these differences is key to seeking appropriate support and treatment rather than dismissing the symptoms as “just part of being a woman.”

From a mental health perspective, PMDD is not simply a hormonal inconvenience, it is a serious mood disorder with major impacts. The emotional and cognitive symptoms can mimic or exacerbate conditions like depression and anxiety, making timely diagnosis and intervention essential. Raising awareness about PMDD helps reduce stigma and empowers those affected to access mental health care, explore coping strategies, and find relief. Understanding the difference between PMS and PMDD is the first step toward validating the lived experiences of those who face this challenging condition each month.

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

Navigating school can be challenging for any student, but for those living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the academic environment often presents unique hurdles. From managing intrusive thoughts during class to handling compulsions in social settings, students with OCD may feel overwhelmed, isolated, or misunderstood. These challenges can impact not only academic performance but also emotional well-being and peer relationships. The good news? With the right tools, support systems, and coping strategies in place, students with OCD can thrive in school.

At Anchor Therapy, we work closely with students, parents, and educators to create supportive environments that reduce anxiety and encourage healthy coping. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies for managing OCD symptoms throughout the school day, from preparing in the morning to handling difficult moments in the classroom. Whether you are a student, parent, or school professional, these tools can help build resilience, foster independence, and promote success both inside and outside the classroom.

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

Burnout has become an increasingly common problem in today’s fast-paced, always-on culture. Constant stress, overwhelming workloads, and the pressure to perform can leave both the mind and body exhausted, making it difficult to function at your best. While many people push through fatigue with caffeine or sheer willpower, they often overlook one simple yet powerful tool: napping. Short, intentional naps can offer more than just a quick energy boost- they can help reset the brain, reduce stress hormones, and improve emotional resilience, all of which are key factors in preventing burnout.

But can napping really make a difference when it comes to chronic stress and exhaustion? Research suggests that taking time to rest during the day helps improve mood, increase focus, and lower the risk of mental and physical health problems associated with burnout. In this post, we will explore how strategic napping supports mental health, why it is an essential practice for self-care, and tips on how to incorporate naps into your busy life without disrupting your nighttime sleep.

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How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

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How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

In today’s dating culture, the line between "casually seeing someone" and "being in a relationship" can be frustratingly blurry and that gray area is often called a situationship. A situationship is when you are more than friends, less than official, and constantly guessing where you stand. Maybe it started off light and easy, but now you are emotionally invested while still lacking clarity, consistency, or commitment. If you are feeling stuck, confused, or emotionally drained, you are not alone and it may be time to reevaluate what you are really getting out of the connection.

Getting out of a situationship can feel trickier than breaking off a defined relationship. There might not be clear rules, but that does not mean your feelings are not real and it does not mean you have to stay in something that no longer serves you. Whether you are looking for more or finally ready to let go, this blog will help you recognize the signs it is time to move on, navigate the emotional side of detaching, and set clear boundaries for your next chapter. Read our blog “How to Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships.”

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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How To Deal With A Child With OCD

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How To Deal With A Child With OCD

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be deeply distressing for both the child or teen experiencing it and the family supporting them. At Anchor Therapy, our OCD therapists often meet parents who feel overwhelmed, confused, or even helpless as they try to understand their child's behaviors whether it is constant hand-washing, repeated questioning, or an intense need for things to be "just right." OCD in children can show up differently than in adults and early intervention is key to helping them manage the intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that interfere with daily life.

Supporting a child with OCD requires more than just patience- it calls for informed, compassionate strategies that balance empathy with structure. From a therapeutic standpoint, we emphasize the importance of understanding the disorder, recognizing what is driven by anxiety versus defiance, and learning tools that empower both child and parent. In this blog, we will explore how to approach OCD with clarity and confidence, including how mental health counseling can support lasting change and provide relief for the whole family system.

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Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

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Coping with the Trauma of the July 2025 NYC Mass Shooting

The mass shooting that struck New York City in July 2025 left more than physical devastation- it tore through the emotional core of the city. As news broke and sirens echoed across boroughs, countless lives were instantly changed. For survivors, witnesses, families, and even those watching from afar, the psychological impact has been profound. In the days and weeks since, many are grappling with feelings of fear, helplessness, grief, and a shaken sense of safety in their everyday lives. Read our blog “How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?”. 

Trauma from events like these does not fade just because the headlines do. It lingers in unexpected moments, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, or the quiet isolation of sleepless nights. Whether you were directly affected or emotionally impacted from a distance, this post explores what trauma can look like, why it is normal to feel disoriented or overwhelmed, and how to begin taking small but meaningful steps toward healing. You are not alone and your pain is valid.

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

Highly functional depression is often hidden behind smiles and success. It is a form of depression where you may appear to manage daily responsibilities- work, relationships, and social interactions- while silently struggling with persistent emotional pain. Unlike major depressive episodes that can be visibly debilitating, highly functional depression allows people to "keep it together" externally, making it difficult for others to notice anything is wrong. It is commonly associated with dysthymia, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a long-term, low-grade form of depression that can subtly drain a person’s joy and motivation over time. According to research from the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1.5% of United States adults experience dysthymia within a given year.

What makes this condition particularly challenging is that those experiencing it often feel invalidated or misunderstood. If you resonate with high-functioning depression, you might dismiss your own suffering because you are still achieving goals or receiving praise, leading to guilt, burnout, and a worsening emotional state. In this blog, we will unpack the signs, causes, and consequences of highly functional depression and, most importantly, explore steps toward healing even when everything “seems fine” on the outside.

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