Scapegoating in Families, Scapegoat, nj therapist, nyc counselor, nyc therapist
Courtney Glashow
What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A ...

While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you. 

Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.

With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.

What To Do When Someone Is Using You As A Scapegoat
Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

anxiety specialist

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Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

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Why Motivation Fails and What Actually Works Instead

Motivation often feels like the key to achieving goals, yet it frequently falls short when it is needed most. People start projects with enthusiasm only to find their drive fading after a few days or weeks. This pattern is not a sign of failure. Instead, it is a natural consequence of relying on willpower alone, without systems or habits to support progress. Understanding why motivation falters can reveal better ways to create lasting momentum.

Rather than waiting for inspiration to strike, success comes from building consistent routines, breaking goals into manageable steps, and creating structures that encourage follow-through. Small, deliberate actions, combined with clear priorities and accountability, tend to produce far more reliable results than bursts of enthusiasm. By shifting focus from fleeting motivation to practical strategies, meaningful progress becomes achievable even when initial excitement wanes.

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How to Plan A Trip When You Have Claustrophobia

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How to Plan A Trip When You Have Claustrophobia

Traveling is an exciting way to explore new cultures, meet people, and create unforgettable memories but, for those with claustrophobia, even the thought of crowded airports, cramped airplane seats, or tight hotel rooms can turn a dream trip into a stressful experience. Planning ahead is key to minimizing anxiety and ensuring that your journey feels safe and enjoyable rather than overwhelming. With the right strategies, it is possible to design a travel experience that accommodates your comfort needs without missing out on adventure!

From choosing destinations that feel spacious and open to selecting accommodations and transportation that prioritize personal space, careful planning can make a world of difference. This guide will walk you through practical tips and considerations for every stage of your trip, from booking flights and packing smartly to navigating crowded tourist spots, so that claustrophobia does not stand in the way of your desire to travel. By approaching travel thoughtfully, you can transform potential stressors into manageable steps and truly enjoy the journey ahead.

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How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

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How Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Struggle with Excessive Guilt

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave deep, invisible scars which is one of the most common being a pervasive sense of guilt. Children of parents who struggle to regulate their emotions, empathize, or set healthy boundaries often internalize blame for things that are not their fault. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.”

From an early age, they may feel responsible for their parent’s moods, happiness, or conflicts, carrying an invisible weight that follows them into adulthood. This guilt is not just occasional, it can become a constant companion, shaping relationships, self-esteem, and decision-making for years to come.

The struggle with excessive guilt in these children is often misunderstood. Outsiders may see them as overly sensitive or self-critical, but in reality, their guilt is a learned survival mechanism. It stems from growing up in an environment where love and approval were conditional, emotional needs were overlooked, and mistakes were magnified. Understanding how this guilt develops is the first step toward breaking the cycle, reclaiming self-worth, and learning to differentiate between responsibility and unnecessary self-blame.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for OCD: How It Works and Why It Helps

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for OCD: How It Works and Why It Helps

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is widely recognized as one of the most effective treatments for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD is characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental rituals (compulsions) aimed at reducing anxiety. These patterns can interfere with daily life, relationships, and overall well-being. CBT for OCD is a structured, evidence-based approach that helps individuals understand the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and gradually learn to respond to obsessions in healthier ways. Unlike medications alone, CBT addresses the root patterns that maintain OCD symptoms.

One of the key components of CBT for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which involves facing feared situations or intrusive thoughts without engaging in compulsive behaviors. Through this process, individuals learn to tolerate uncertainty and anxiety, ultimately reducing the power of obsessions over time. CBT also incorporates cognitive restructuring, helping clients challenge unhelpful beliefs and develop more balanced thinking patterns. Delivered by trained therapists at Anchor Therapy, CBT for OCD empowers individuals to regain control, improve daily functioning, and build long-lasting coping skills that support a more balanced, fulfilling life.

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Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

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Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

It is easy to assume that feeling needy, worried, or “too much” in relationships means you have an anxious attachment style, but that is not always the case. Many people experience insecurity at times, especially in new relationships or moments of uncertainty. Insecurity is a feeling. Anxious attachment is a pattern. And while the two can look similar on the surface, understanding the difference can help you avoid mislabeling yourself and begin addressing the real issue underneath.

In this guide, we will break down how anxious attachment differs from everyday insecurity, why the distinction matters, and how each one shows up in your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Whether you are trying to understand your own patterns or you are simply curious about relationship psychology, this breakdown will give you clarity, language, and practical insight you can use right away.

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

Retroactive jealousy is the uncomfortable feelings triggered by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. It can be surprisingly common, yet it may leave you feeling isolated, ashamed, or confused. Whether it is fixating on exes, overanalyzing old social media posts, or imagining past romantic encounters, many individuals silently grapple with these intrusive thoughts and wonder if their emotional reactions are healthy or harmful.

In this blog post, we will explore the psychology behind retroactive jealousy, why it happens, and most importantly, whether it is considered "normal." Understanding this phenomenon can help you navigate your emotions with greater clarity and compassion while distinguishing between manageable insecurity and deeper emotional patterns that may need attention.

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

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Does Online Therapy Work for Trauma and PTSD?

In recent years, online therapy has moved from a niche service to a mainstream mental health resource, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic that  heightened both the demand for therapy and the need for accessible care! But for those dealing with the deep and complex wounds of trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a common question arises: Can healing really happen through a screen? This blog explores the effectiveness of online psychotherapy for trauma-related conditions, separating fact from myth and offering insights grounded into virtual therapy at Anchor Therapy.


Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or transitioning from in-person sessions, understanding how online formats support trauma recovery is essential. We will look at the science behind virtual trauma treatments, including Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and somatic approaches. After reading this blog, you will feel empowered with the information you need to make the right choice for your mental health journey.

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Can You Grieve Before Someone Dies?

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Can You Grieve Before Someone Dies?

Grief is often thought of as something that begins after a loss, a shadow that remains after a loved one passes. But for many, the grieving process starts long before a final goodbye. Whether it is a terminal diagnosis, a slow decline from a disease, or the fading of someone you love due to emotional or physical distance, anticipatory grief can hit just as hard (sometimes even harder) than the mourning that comes later. It is a quiet, complex sorrow, often misunderstood or left unspoken, that lives in the space between hope and reality.

Anticipatory grief challenges the way we think about loss. It is not just sadness- it is fear, guilt, helplessness, and even moments of clarity and gratitude all tangled together. You might find yourself grieving memories that have not yet been made, or mourning a relationship that is changing rapidly right before your eyes. In this blog post, we will explore what anticipatory grief really feels like, why it happens, and how to navigate it with compassion for yourself and others.

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

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6 Ways to Overcome Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is a common struggle many people face, often turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, sadness, or even boredom. Instead of eating out of hunger, emotional eating involves using food as a source of comfort which can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices. This cycle can be difficult to break, especially when food provides temporary relief from overwhelming emotions. However, recognizing the pattern is the first step toward gaining control and developing healthier habits!


Overcoming emotional eating requires a combination of mindfulness, emotional awareness, and practical strategies. By understanding the emotional triggers behind your cravings and finding alternative ways to address them, you can build a healthier relationship with food. In this blog, we will explore six effective strategies to help you break free from emotional eating, regain control of your eating habits, and foster a more balanced and mindful approach to food.

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Is Journaling Good For Your Mental Health?

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Is Journaling Good For Your Mental Health?

Journaling is a simple yet effective tool for enhancing your mental health. When you physically write down your thoughts and emotions, you can gain clarity and self-awareness so you can effectively reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Journaling gives you an unfiltered expression of your feelings, and it can be a safe outlet for any intense emotions you may be experiencing. The practice of journaling is to make you more mindful, give you the space to reflect, and solve your problems. Over time, this leads to a greater sense of emotional regulation and well-being.


In addition to being a therapeutic force, journaling fosters creativity and a high sense of self-expression, giving you the space for personal growth and exploration. You can think of journaling as a tool for processing past events, setting future goals, and tracking progress over time. Many people who journal report that it helps them better understand their inner world, including their thoughts and triggers. By gaining this level of awareness, it can contribute to your coping skills and emotional resilience. Whether you journal daily or periodically, journaling is an accessible mental health tool and it can be an effective practice for maintaining your mental health.

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

Hurricanes are often known for their physical destruction. When you think of a hurricane, it is likely that some powerful images come to your mind- torrential rains, powerful winds, and surging water. However, what is not talked about as much is the emotional impact of a hurricane which can be just as overwhelming as the physical effects. 


The devastation brought by recent storms, such as Hurricane Milton and Hurricane Helene, extend beyond just the physical wreckage left behind. When going through a natural disaster, it is likely that you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from anxiety and fear to grief and helplessness. 


In the immediate aftermath of a hurricane, you are likely dealing with a lot of things, from the chaos and uncertainty surrounding evacuations to property damage. This sort of disruption in your life can leave you feeling vulnerable and emotionally exhausted. 


Going through a natural disaster once may leave you wondering when the next one will strike. This heightened fear can lead to more stress, insomnia, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. The experience of living through and surviving a hurricane can challenge your sense of safety, creating emotional scars that require mental health healing.

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Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

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Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

We have all been there before- your anxiety creeps up, makes you rethink why you said “yes” to the plans in the first place, and then, eventually, you start brainstorming reasons as to why you are canceling. 

It can be uncomfortable to say “no”, especially if you struggle with pleasing people. If you think this may be something you struggle with, check out our blog “How To Know If You’re A People-Pleaser and The Psychology Behind It.” You may feel like you are letting someone down when you say “no” or you may feel like you are not good enough for the task at hand. Sometimes, your anxiety can get in the way and make it impossible for you to follow through on commitments.

In its most basic form, having plans can give you something fun to look forward to on your calendar and can fulfill your basic need for human connection. But, at its worst, it can leave you feeling like you are obligated to do something, dreaming about crossing out this event on your calendar in a bold black Sharpie.

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

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