Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

health boundaries

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Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

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Are You Anxiously Attached or Just Feeling Insecure? A Guide to Telling the Difference

It is easy to assume that feeling needy, worried, or “too much” in relationships means you have an anxious attachment style, but that is not always the case. Many people experience insecurity at times, especially in new relationships or moments of uncertainty. Insecurity is a feeling. Anxious attachment is a pattern. And while the two can look similar on the surface, understanding the difference can help you avoid mislabeling yourself and begin addressing the real issue underneath.

In this guide, we will break down how anxious attachment differs from everyday insecurity, why the distinction matters, and how each one shows up in your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Whether you are trying to understand your own patterns or you are simply curious about relationship psychology, this breakdown will give you clarity, language, and practical insight you can use right away.

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Returning to Work After Loss

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Returning to Work After Loss

Returning to work after experiencing a loss can feel overwhelming as grief does not follow a set schedule and often does not pause when life demands productivity. The workplace, with its deadlines, meetings, and social expectations can amplify feelings of exhaustion, emotional vulnerability, and disconnection. Many people find themselves juggling the need to perform professionally while navigating waves of sadness, guilt, or anxiety which can make even familiar tasks feel daunting.

Yet, returning to work can also offer structure, purpose, and a sense of normalcy during a difficult time. With the right strategies and support, it is possible to honor your grief while gradually re-engaging with your professional responsibilities. In this post, we will explore practical ways to navigate this transition, manage emotional triggers, and seek support in the workplace so that returning to work becomes a step toward healing rather than an added source of stress.

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Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem

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Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem

Our sense of self-worth does not form in isolation as it grows through our earliest relationships. The way we learn to connect, depend on others, and feel safe in love becomes the blueprint for how we see ourselves. This blueprint is known as our attachment style. Whether you identify as secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant, your attachment style subtly shapes how you view your value in relationships and the world around you.

When self-esteem and attachment intertwine, they can create either a strong foundation of confidence or a cycle of self-doubt and emotional insecurity. Understanding this connection is a powerful first step toward healing. By recognizing how attachment patterns influence the way you talk to yourself, trust others, and set boundaries, you can begin to rebuild self-esteem that comes from within, not from the approval or affection of others.

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

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What Are Signs of the Fawning Response?

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What Are Signs of the Fawning Response?

When we talk about trauma responses, most people are familiar with fight, flight, or freeze. But there is another lesser-known reaction called fawning- a survival mechanism where a person seeks to appease others to avoid conflict, criticism, or harm. This often looks like people-pleasing, over-apologizing, or abandoning personal needs in order to maintain peace or feel safe. While it may appear as kindness or agreeableness on the surface, fawning can be a deep-rooted response to past emotional or relational trauma.

Recognizing the signs of a fawning response is essential for anyone working on setting healthier boundaries or healing from trauma. From difficulty saying “no” to constantly anticipating others’ needs, the behaviors linked to fawning often go unnoticed because they are socially rewarded. In this post, we will explore the key indicators of the fawning response, why it develops, and how awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your authentic self.

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

Highly functional depression is often hidden behind smiles and success. It is a form of depression where you may appear to manage daily responsibilities- work, relationships, and social interactions- while silently struggling with persistent emotional pain. Unlike major depressive episodes that can be visibly debilitating, highly functional depression allows people to "keep it together" externally, making it difficult for others to notice anything is wrong. It is commonly associated with dysthymia, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a long-term, low-grade form of depression that can subtly drain a person’s joy and motivation over time. According to research from the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1.5% of United States adults experience dysthymia within a given year.

What makes this condition particularly challenging is that those experiencing it often feel invalidated or misunderstood. If you resonate with high-functioning depression, you might dismiss your own suffering because you are still achieving goals or receiving praise, leading to guilt, burnout, and a worsening emotional state. In this blog, we will unpack the signs, causes, and consequences of highly functional depression and, most importantly, explore steps toward healing even when everything “seems fine” on the outside.

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

Invisible emotional labor refers to the often unrecognized and unacknowledged work of managing emotions- both your own and those of others. It is the mental and emotional effort that goes into maintaining harmony in relationships, managing workplace dynamics, or taking care of others' emotional needs without receiving formal recognition or compensation. This form of labor can show up in many areas of life, from supporting a friend through a tough time, to managing the mood of a team at work, to performing the emotional heavy lifting in a household. While it is typically invisible to others, it can weigh heavily on the person doing the work, leading to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

What makes invisible emotional labor particularly challenging is that it is often assumed to be a “natural” role or responsibility, especially for women, parents, or caregivers. Society tends to overlook the emotional effort it takes to keep relationships and environments functional, and often, the people doing this work do not even realize how much they are giving until they feel drained or overwhelmed. In this blog, we will unpack what invisible emotional labor looks like, why it is important to recognize it, and how to navigate it without letting it take a toll on your well-being.

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What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

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What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is a highly effective, evidence-based treatment designed to strengthen the parent-child relationship while addressing difficult behaviors in young children, typically between the ages of 2 and 7. Developed by psychologist Dr. Sheila Eyberg, PCIT helps parents learn practical, real-time strategies for promoting positive behavior and managing challenging ones all while deepening emotional connection. Using a unique setup where child therapists at Anchor Therapy coach parents during play sessions, PCIT allows caregivers to apply new skills immediately and confidently, creating lasting change within the family dynamic!

At the heart of PCIT is the belief that strong, healthy parent-child relationships are the foundation for emotional and behavioral development. Through its two-phase model- Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) and Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)- parents learn to foster warmth, trust, and effective communication while also setting consistent boundaries. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.” As a result, children often become more cooperative and emotionally secure, and parents report feeling more in control and connected. By rebuilding relationships through guided interaction, PCIT not only reduces behavioral issues but also brings families closer together.

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

Caretaker’s Syndrome- also known as caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue- is a silent, often overlooked struggle that affects people who spend much of their time tending to the needs of others. Whether you are caring for a sick family member, managing the emotional labor in your relationships or constantly putting others before yourself, the toll can be overwhelming. Over time, you may find yourself feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, disconnected from your own needs, and even resentful yet unable to stop giving. It is a cycle that can feel impossible to break on your own.

This is where counseling at Anchor Therapy can make a powerful difference. Far from being just a space to vent, therapy provides a structured, supportive environment where you can safely explore how your caretaking patterns developed, what emotional costs they carry, and how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and sense of self. Through personalized strategies- like setting boundaries, processing guilt, and rediscovering your own identity- therapy helps you move from surviving to truly healing. It is not about abandoning your care for others; it is about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

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Career Counseling for Reentering the Workforce

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Career Counseling for Reentering the Workforce

Taking the step to reenter the workforce after a career break- whether due to parenting, caregiving, illness, or other life transitions- can feel both exciting and overwhelming. Many individuals face questions about how their skills measure up in today’s job market, how to explain gaps in their resumes, and whether they are truly ready- emotionally and professionally- to dive back in. That is where career counseling, especially when rooted in mental health support, plays a powerful role. It is not just about polishing a resume; it is about rebuilding confidence, clarifying goals, and creating a plan that honors both your professional aspirations and personal well-being. For more information, check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.” 

At Anchor Therapy, our career counselors understand that returning to work is not just a career decision- it is a life transition. Research indicates that 74% of individuals who take a career break end up rejoining the workforce. Our career counseling services are designed to help you navigate this journey with clarity and resilience. Whether you are exploring a new path or returning to a familiar field, we provide guidance that integrates practical job-search strategies with emotional support, helping you reenter the workforce on your own terms.

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

In today’s hyperconnected world, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily routines. They offer a constant stream of content, instant communication, and the ability to stay in touch with friends, trends, and news from around the world. However, as our screen time increases, so do concerns about its impact on mental health, particularly depression. More people, especially teens and young adults, report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety after prolonged exposure to curated online lives and unrealistic standards of success or beauty.

While social media can foster a sense of community, validation, and self-expression, it can also fuel harmful cycles of comparison, cyberbullying, and information overload. The contrast between someone’s highlight reel and one’s real life can leave users feeling inadequate or isolated. Researchers and mental health professionals are actively studying the relationship between social media use and depressive symptoms, raising important questions about how these platforms might influence our emotional well-being in both positive and negative ways.

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

Hoboken, New Jersey is a vibrant city known for its waterfront views, bustling streets, and tight-knit community. However, like any urban area, it is not immune to crises- whether it is flooding from heavy storms, power outages, or public transit disruptions. Being prepared and knowing how to navigate emergencies can make all the difference in staying safe and minimizing the impact on your daily life. By staying informed, planning ahead, and tapping into local resources, Hoboken residents can confidently handle unexpected challenges.


From emergency alerts to evacuation routes, having a solid plan in place is crucial. Hoboken’s geography makes it particularly susceptible to flooding and, with its dense population, transit delays and power outages can quickly escalate into major disruptions. In recent years, the community has also endured deeply unsettling events, including multiple building lockdowns due to active threats requiring SWAT intervention, as well as a frightening school incident where a student threatened violence, forcing children and parents to endure repeated lockdowns. In this guide, we will cover five essential ways to stay ahead of potential crises, ensuring that you and your loved ones remain safe and mentally resilient no matter what comes your way.

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What Is It Like Being The Golden Child?

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What Is It Like Being The Golden Child?

If you are the golden child in your family, chances are that you feel like you are living in a spotlight- always praised, always expected to succeed, and often held up as the example for others to follow, especially siblings. Parents, teachers, and even extended family members may shower you with admiration, reinforcing a sense of confidence and achievement. To learn more about your sense of self-confidence, check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.” Knowing that your accomplishments are met with pride and celebration can be very validating and keep you in a loop of wanting to seek constant approval from other people. At times, you may even feel like you can do no wrong in the eyes of others. You may find that your mistakes are overlooked or easily forgiven. 


However, the role of the golden child is not always as perfect as it seems. The pressure to maintain high expectations can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety, imposter syndrome, or fear of failure. You might feel like your worth is tied solely to your achievements, making it difficult to express vulnerability or make mistakes without disappointing others. Additionally, relationships with siblings can be strained as they may resent the preferential treatment you receive. Being the golden child can be both a privilege and a burden, shaping your self-worth and family dynamics in ways that are not always obvious at first glance. If you resonate with being a golden child, keep reading this blog.

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Is Love Really Blind? Using Insights from Netflix’s Love Is Blind

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Is Love Really Blind? Using Insights from Netflix’s Love Is Blind

Netflix’s hit show Love Is Blind premiered its eighth season on Friday, February 14, 2025. The phrase “love is blind” has been a cultural notion for quite some time. The saying suggests that when people fall in love, their partner’s physical appearance does not matter. In other words, the flaws and imperfections of their significant other seem to disappear. Netflix’s Love Is Blind takes this concept to an extreme by forcing contestants to form deep emotional connections with one another without ever seeing the other person’s physical appearance until the pair are already in a committed relationship. This is a bold social experiment that challenges the traditional idea of romantic attraction. The show raises the very important question of can love blossom without physical attraction at play? Or does love require more than just emotional chemistry to survive in the real world?


When a viewer dives into the dynamics of Love Is Blind, one can explore whether or not love can thrive without the physical element at play. The show sometimes suggests that emotional connections need physical attraction to really thrive. Through watching the show’s participants, you can get a glimpse into the complexities of human relationships where emotional bonds may form quickly, but tested when physical reality enters the picture. In this blog, we’ll break down the concept of the show to see whether or not love is truly blind, or couples need more than just emotional connection to last.

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

Love is a powerful emotion. It can sweep you off of your feet, feel euphoric, and be a source of immense happiness. However, when love starts to feel like an obsession or dependency, it may hint that there is a deeper issue going on. The sense of being “addicted” to love often comes from your brain’s response to the emotional highs of being in a romantic connection with someone. When you fall in love, your brain releases a host of feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals can create a sense of pleasure and attachment. Over time, you may become dependent on these neurochemical ‘boosts’. In other words, your association of love to intense feelings of validation and joy makes you crave love even more.


There is a point in time where a longing for love can become too intense and turn into emotional dependency. Some signs of this may be constantly seeking external validation  or falling into unhealthy cycles of emotional highs and lows with someone, even if it is a toxic connection. For more information on this, check out our blog “How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship.” The desire to feel loved, cherished, or wanted is at the core of the human experience, but it may cloud your sense of self-worth over time. Not being in a romantic relationship should not make you feel incomplete. Understanding why love feels like an addiction and your relationship to love is the first step toward breaking free from unhealthy patterns and learning how to nurture healthier, more balanced relationships.

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The Stages of Affair Recovery

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The Stages of Affair Recovery

Infidelity is a very challenging obstacle that many couples face. From the emotional turmoil that results from the breach of trust to lingering questions that can trigger anxiety, many couples in this situation are unsure of how to move forward. Despite the immense pain of infidelity, many couples look to rebuild their relationship, showcasing a lot of resilience in the process. In fact, research has shown that roughly 60 to 75% of couples decide to stay together after infidelity. This success rate may be even higher if couples decide to seek the professional support of a couples counselor.

Affair recovery in a couples counseling setting offers a structured, supportive setting for partners to navigate this difficult journey together. Contrary to popular belief, addressing the betrayal is just one small part of the couples therapy journey at Anchor Therapy. It is about getting to the root cause of presenting issues, truly understanding the impact of the infidelity, rebuilding trust, and creating a deeper emotional connection.

In this blog, you will discover how affair recovery counseling can guide you and your significant other through the healing process. From pinpointing underlying concerns to creating an avenue for open communication, you can redefine your relationship with the help of specific tools and strategies so you can grow stronger together.  Whether you are looking for some hope or are ready to dive into the complexities of your relationship, you have come to the right place!

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