Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Working with a relationship therapist for codependency issues

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What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

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What Is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)?

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is a highly effective, evidence-based treatment designed to strengthen the parent-child relationship while addressing difficult behaviors in young children, typically between the ages of 2 and 7. Developed by psychologist Dr. Sheila Eyberg, PCIT helps parents learn practical, real-time strategies for promoting positive behavior and managing challenging ones all while deepening emotional connection. Using a unique setup where child therapists at Anchor Therapy coach parents during play sessions, PCIT allows caregivers to apply new skills immediately and confidently, creating lasting change within the family dynamic!

At the heart of PCIT is the belief that strong, healthy parent-child relationships are the foundation for emotional and behavioral development. Through its two-phase model- Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) and Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)- parents learn to foster warmth, trust, and effective communication while also setting consistent boundaries. Check out our blog “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them.” As a result, children often become more cooperative and emotionally secure, and parents report feeling more in control and connected. By rebuilding relationships through guided interaction, PCIT not only reduces behavioral issues but also brings families closer together.

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

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How Therapy Can Help You Heal From Caretaker’s Syndrome

Caretaker’s Syndrome- also known as caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue- is a silent, often overlooked struggle that affects people who spend much of their time tending to the needs of others. Whether you are caring for a sick family member, managing the emotional labor in your relationships or constantly putting others before yourself, the toll can be overwhelming. Over time, you may find yourself feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, disconnected from your own needs, and even resentful yet unable to stop giving. It is a cycle that can feel impossible to break on your own.

This is where counseling at Anchor Therapy can make a powerful difference. Far from being just a space to vent, therapy provides a structured, supportive environment where you can safely explore how your caretaking patterns developed, what emotional costs they carry, and how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and sense of self. Through personalized strategies- like setting boundaries, processing guilt, and rediscovering your own identity- therapy helps you move from surviving to truly healing. It is not about abandoning your care for others; it is about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

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10 Ways Nature Can Help Your Mental Health

In our fast-paced, digitally-driven world, it is easy to forget the profound impact nature can have on our well-being. Yet for centuries, people have turned to forests, oceans, and open skies for healing. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting the immune system and fostering emotional balance, nature offers a restorative power that science is only beginning to fully understand.

The healing power of nature goes far beyond fresh air and scenic views. It involves a deep, often subconscious connection between the human body and the natural world. It is a relationship that promotes physical, mental, and spiritual health. In this blog, we will explore what this healing power truly means, why it works, and how you can tap into it to bring more calm, clarity, and vitality into your daily life.

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How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing Limerence?

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How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing Limerence?

Have you ever found yourself obsessively thinking about someone, analyzing every interaction, and feeling a rush of euphoria just from a glance or text message? If so, you might be experiencing more than just a crush- you could be caught in the grip of limerence. Often mistaken for love or infatuation, limerence is a powerful emotional state characterized by intense longing, emotional dependence, and idealization of another person. It can be exhilarating, but also cause a lot of confusion and be emotionally exhausting. 

Understanding whether what you are feeling is limerence can be the first step toward gaining clarity and emotional balance. In this post, we will explore what limerence really is, how it differs from genuine love or attraction, and the key signs that may indicate you are experiencing it. By recognizing the symptoms, you can start to navigate your emotions more mindfully and make choices that support your emotional well-being!

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

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Is Retroactive Jealousy Normal?

Retroactive jealousy is the uncomfortable feelings triggered by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. It can be surprisingly common, yet it may leave you feeling isolated, ashamed, or confused. Whether it is fixating on exes, overanalyzing old social media posts, or imagining past romantic encounters, many individuals silently grapple with these intrusive thoughts and wonder if their emotional reactions are healthy or harmful.

In this blog post, we will explore the psychology behind retroactive jealousy, why it happens, and most importantly, whether it is considered "normal." Understanding this phenomenon can help you navigate your emotions with greater clarity and compassion while distinguishing between manageable insecurity and deeper emotional patterns that may need attention.

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

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5 Ways Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Can Help You Grow

Personal growth goes beyond merely achieving your goals- it is all about changing how you think, feel, and respond to the challenges that life throws your way. One powerful therapeutic tool that can be used for personal transformation is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT is a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that was developed by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis. REBT helps you realize that your beliefs, not external events, are the real source of your emotional distress. By challenging irrational thoughts, you can create long-lasting emotional and behavioral change.


In this blog post, we will explore five practical ways REBT can help you grow whether you are looking for improved emotional control, better relationships, or a stronger sense of self. When you learn to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts that hold you back, you can replace them with rational, empowering thoughts that support your personal growth journey. Let us dive into how REBT can help you become a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself!

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What Is A Situationship?

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What Is A Situationship?

In today's dating landscape, the lines between friendship and romance are often blurred, giving rise to a relationship status that is confusing and increasingly common: the situationship. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships lack clear labels, boundaries, or expectations yet they often involve emotional intimacy, physical connection, and the routines of a romantic partnership. You might find yourself texting every day, going on dates, and even meeting each other's friends without ever having “the talk” or being exclusive. And while that ambiguity might seem freeing at first, it can quickly become a source of stress and uncertainty depending on your personality and relationship goals. 

This blog explores the emotional gray area of situationships- why people enter them, what they offer, and when they might start doing more harm than good. Whether you are currently in one, just got out of one and healing, or are trying to make sense of someone else’s, this space is for unpacking the messy middle ground of modern relationships. Because sometimes, the most complicated relationships are the ones that were never officially defined!

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

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How Does Social Media Affect Depression?

In today’s hyperconnected world, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily routines. They offer a constant stream of content, instant communication, and the ability to stay in touch with friends, trends, and news from around the world. However, as our screen time increases, so do concerns about its impact on mental health, particularly depression. More people, especially teens and young adults, report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety after prolonged exposure to curated online lives and unrealistic standards of success or beauty.

While social media can foster a sense of community, validation, and self-expression, it can also fuel harmful cycles of comparison, cyberbullying, and information overload. The contrast between someone’s highlight reel and one’s real life can leave users feeling inadequate or isolated. Researchers and mental health professionals are actively studying the relationship between social media use and depressive symptoms, raising important questions about how these platforms might influence our emotional well-being in both positive and negative ways.

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What Is Breadcrumbing In A Relationship?

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What Is Breadcrumbing In A Relationship?

Breadcrumbing in a relationship refers to the act of giving someone just enough attention or affection to keep them interested, without actually committing or offering anything substantial. This behavior often involves sporadic, inconsistent communication where one person may send occasional texts or offer vague promises, leaving the other person uncertain and longing for more. While it may seem like a form of flirting or lighthearted interaction at first, breadcrumbing can lead to emotional confusion and frustration when the person on the receiving end starts to realize they are being strung along with little to no real connection or progress.


Understanding breadcrumbing is crucial for recognizing toxic patterns in relationships, especially in today’s digital age where online interactions can often blur the lines between meaningful engagement and manipulative behavior. In this post, we will explore what breadcrumbing looks like, how to spot it, and why it is important to address these behaviors before they harm your emotional well-being. Whether you have experienced it yourself or simply want to learn more, this guide will help you better navigate the complexities of modern relationships.

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EMDR In A Nutshell

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EMDR In A Nutshell

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique designed to help you  process and heal from traumatic experiences. It was developed in the late 1980s by Francine Shapiro and has since become a widely recognized treatment for trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation, often through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories. This process helps you reframe negative thoughts and emotions associated with traumatic events, allowing you to experience relief and healing.


Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR focuses on processing the memories that contribute to emotional distress rather than simply discussing them. Therefore, EMDR is a somatic therapy, or a body-centered type of counseling. The therapy is conducted in a structured format, where your EMDR therapist at Anchor Therapy guides you through different stages, including identifying distressing memories, targeting specific emotions, and using the bilateral stimulation to facilitate reprocessing. Over time, this helps to reduce the emotional charge attached to those memories, making them less intrusive and more manageable. Research has shown significant success in treating a range of mental health conditions, including PTSD, anxiety, and depression, with EMDR.

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How to Create A Daily Routine

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How to Create A Daily Routine

Building a routine is one of the most effective ways to bring structure and consistency into your daily life. Whether you are looking to boost productivity, enhance mental health, or simply make your days more manageable, creating a solid routine can set you up for success. The key to establishing a routine is making it both realistic and adaptable, so it becomes a sustainable part of your daily life rather than something that feels like a chore to do.


Starting small and focusing on consistency is crucial when building a routine. It is not about overloading yourself with tasks from the get-go, but rather about finding a rhythm that works for you. You can gradually add habits to your routine and adjust as you go. Check out our blog “4 Ways to Build a Habit That Sticks.” This way, you can create a routine that not only supports your goals but also promotes a sense of balance and well-being. In this blog, we will explore the steps to help you build a routine that sticks and aligns with your personal lifestyle.

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

Love is a powerful emotion. It can sweep you off of your feet, feel euphoric, and be a source of immense happiness. However, when love starts to feel like an obsession or dependency, it may hint that there is a deeper issue going on. The sense of being “addicted” to love often comes from your brain’s response to the emotional highs of being in a romantic connection with someone. When you fall in love, your brain releases a host of feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals can create a sense of pleasure and attachment. Over time, you may become dependent on these neurochemical ‘boosts’. In other words, your association of love to intense feelings of validation and joy makes you crave love even more.


There is a point in time where a longing for love can become too intense and turn into emotional dependency. Some signs of this may be constantly seeking external validation  or falling into unhealthy cycles of emotional highs and lows with someone, even if it is a toxic connection. For more information on this, check out our blog “How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship.” The desire to feel loved, cherished, or wanted is at the core of the human experience, but it may cloud your sense of self-worth over time. Not being in a romantic relationship should not make you feel incomplete. Understanding why love feels like an addiction and your relationship to love is the first step toward breaking free from unhealthy patterns and learning how to nurture healthier, more balanced relationships.

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

Long-distance relationships can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they offer space for individual growth, and on the other, they come with unique emotional challenges that can take a toll on mental health. Research shows that 60% of long-distance relationships are considered successful in the long run. 


With that being said, couples who are physically separated often face feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and uncertainty. If your communication is not consistent or healthy, these emotions can be exacerbated. So, how can long-distance couples navigate these hurdles? Is it truly possible for long-distance relationships to thrive? In this blog post, we will dive into the different aspects of long-distance relationships, including what can make them work and what can cause them to fail.


Trust, clear communication, and a shared vision for the future are all essential components of a healthy, successful long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance between connection and independence. Luckily, there are many mental health strategies that can help you and your partner maintain a strong bond while also caring for one another’s emotional well-being. From coping mechanisms to relationship-building tips, you can learn to make the distance work for you and not against you.

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Everything You Need to Know About Psychodynamic Treatment

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Everything You Need to Know About Psychodynamic Treatment

Psychodynamic treatment, also known as psychodynamic therapy, is a form of talk therapy that roots itself in psychoanalysis. Some types of mental health counseling focus on surface-level issues; however, psychodynamic counseling dives deep into your unconscious thoughts and past experiences to get to the root cause of your emotional distress. This form of therapy is constructed on the belief that your early life experiences and unconscious thoughts shape your behaviors and adult relationships. When you explore hidden influences in psychodynamic counseling, you will achieve greater self-awareness and emotional healing.


In this comprehensive blog, we will explore everything you need to know about psychodynamic treatment, from its historical origins to its application in modern times. Whether you are considering attending psychodynamic therapy yourself or you are simply interested in how it works, this blog will shed great insight on the transformative power of psychodynamic treatment. From pinpointing key benefits to addressing common misconceptions, this blog will give you a clear understanding of what psychodynamic treatment entails and how it can be an effective approach for personal growth and mental health healing.

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5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

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5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

In today’s world, everyone is constantly on the go. We have certain things that demand our attention, deadlines at work or at school, and other constant streams of distractions, such as social media. Many of us find ourselves living life on autopilot. You may be moving from one task to the next without even realizing it. If this sounds like your life, this is where mindfulness can come into play. Mindfulness is a simple, transformative way of life that invites you to slow down, tune in, and reconnect with the present.

Mindfulness is not about just achieving a peaceful state of mind or escaping the challenges of life- it is about cultivating awareness and acceptance for the present moment, no matter what life throws your way. Whether you are looking to manage stress or simply want to learn how to savor life’s small moments, mindfulness can help you engage with life’s experiences on a deeper level. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce stress by 31%.

If you have been curious about starting your journey with mindfulness but are not sure where to begin, you are in the right place! Whether you are a complete beginner or you are looking to refresh your mindfulness practice, keep reading this blog to find approachable ways to integrate mindfulness into your daily routine.

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What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

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What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

Insomnia is when you experience disruptions in how you feel or function because you are not sleeping well or sleeping enough. Insomnia is a very common sleep disorder. In fact, research has shown that roughly 1 in 3 adults worldwide have insomnia symptoms, and roughly 10% of adults meet the criteria for insomnia disorder. Insomnia is typically characterized by difficulties in falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early and failing to fall back asleep.


Insomnia can lead to many physical and mental health problems, from fatigue to mood problems. There are many factors that can contribute to insomnia, but getting to the root cause of your insomnia problems is essential for effective treatment and sleep disorder management. One of the primary culprits of insomnia is anxiety and stress. The pressures of life, from work troubles to relationship issues, can cause your body and mind to enter a heightened state of alertness where it becomes difficult to relax and get ready for sleep.


By identifying the main cause of insomnia, you can be better positioned to make lifestyle changes and seek treatment options to restore peaceful sleep!

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

Boundaries are important for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring our well-being. They help define our limits and protect our mental health by allowing us to prioritize our needs, manage stress, and maintain self-respect. This blog will explore the significance of setting boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining them.

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Embracing Independence: Tools for Overcoming Dependency

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Embracing Independence: Tools for Overcoming Dependency

Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is the “giver” while the other person is the “taker.” The “giver” gives up their own needs and sense of welfare to please their partner. It is important to note that codependency does not just occur in romantic relationships, it can occur in other dynamics as well, including familial connections. Think of parent and child relationships and connections with friends.

Codependency can be a learned behavior that is passed down from one generation to another. For instance, your parents may have been in and modeled a codependent relationship and you learned that is the way to form a romantic connection. Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition that impacts your ability to foster a healthy, satisfying connection with another person. 

People often refer to codependency as a relationship addiction. People who struggle with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive, and even abusive in some cases. 

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