Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

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The Difference Between Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) vs Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

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The Difference Between Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) vs Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) are often mentioned interchangeably, but understanding the distinction is crucial, especially for mental health awareness. While PMS is relatively common and typically involves mild emotional and physical symptoms like irritability, bloating, and fatigue, PMDD is a far more severe condition that can significantly disrupt daily life. 

Women with PMDD may experience intense mood swings, debilitating anxiety, deep sadness, and even thoughts of hopelessness, often in the week leading up to menstruation. Recognizing these differences is key to seeking appropriate support and treatment rather than dismissing the symptoms as “just part of being a woman.”

From a mental health perspective, PMDD is not simply a hormonal inconvenience, it is a serious mood disorder with major impacts. The emotional and cognitive symptoms can mimic or exacerbate conditions like depression and anxiety, making timely diagnosis and intervention essential. Raising awareness about PMDD helps reduce stigma and empowers those affected to access mental health care, explore coping strategies, and find relief. Understanding the difference between PMS and PMDD is the first step toward validating the lived experiences of those who face this challenging condition each month.

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

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Living with Emotional Numbness After Trauma

For many survivors of trauma, the world does not just simply feel different, it actually feels muted. Emotions that once came easily may now seem distant or entirely absent, leaving a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This emotional numbness is a common but often misunderstood symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a protective response of the brain designed to shield us from overwhelming pain. While it may feel like a relief in the short term, over time, the inability to feel joy, sadness, or even anger can create its own form of suffering, affecting relationships, daily life, and self-perception.

Living with emotional numbness can be confusing and isolating. You might find yourself watching life pass by from behind a fog, unsure if what you are experiencing is “normal” or permanent. Yet, it is important to know that emotional numbness is not a personal failing. Instead, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs safety, time, and gentle care. Understanding why this numbness occurs and learning strategies to reconnect with your emotions are critical steps toward reclaiming a sense of vitality and engagement in your life.

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Supporting Your Partner with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

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Supporting Your Partner with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience filled with joy, but it can also bring unexpected challenges, especially when Postpartum Depression (PPD) enters the picture. While PPD is often discussed in relation to birthing parents, its impact reaches partners as well who may feel helpless, worried, or unsure of how to provide support. Understanding the emotional and physical toll of PPD is the first step in creating a safe, compassionate environment for your loved one.

Supporting a partner through PPD is not always straightforward, but small, intentional actions can make a meaningful difference. From active listening and encouraging professional help to helping with daily responsibilities and practicing patience, partners play a crucial role in recovery. This guide will explore practical ways to provide emotional support, recognize warning signs, and foster connection during a period that can feel isolating for both parents.

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

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Effective Strategies to Manage OCD at School

Navigating school can be challenging for any student, but for those living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the academic environment often presents unique hurdles. From managing intrusive thoughts during class to handling compulsions in social settings, students with OCD may feel overwhelmed, isolated, or misunderstood. These challenges can impact not only academic performance but also emotional well-being and peer relationships. The good news? With the right tools, support systems, and coping strategies in place, students with OCD can thrive in school.

At Anchor Therapy, we work closely with students, parents, and educators to create supportive environments that reduce anxiety and encourage healthy coping. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies for managing OCD symptoms throughout the school day, from preparing in the morning to handling difficult moments in the classroom. Whether you are a student, parent, or school professional, these tools can help build resilience, foster independence, and promote success both inside and outside the classroom.

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Which Type of Insomnia Do You Have?

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Which Type of Insomnia Do You Have?

Struggling to sleep is not just frustrating- it can take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. But what many people do not realize is that insomnia is not a one-size-fits-all problem. There are different types, each with its own causes, patterns, and psychological impact. Some people cannot fall asleep no matter how exhausted they are, while others wake up at 2 or 3 a.m. and cannot get back to sleep. Understanding the type of insomnia you are experiencing is the first step toward getting the right kind of support.

At Anchor Therapy, our sleep anxiety counselors often see clients who have been battling insomnia for months or even years without knowing there is more than one way it can present. Knowing whether your insomnia is acute, chronic, sleep-onset, or sleep-maintenance related can help guide treatment options, whether that is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), trauma-focused care, or stress management techniques. In this blog, we will break down the common types of insomnia and explain why identifying your specific sleep pattern is so important for finding relief that lasts.

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

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Can Napping Prevent Burnout?

Burnout has become an increasingly common problem in today’s fast-paced, always-on culture. Constant stress, overwhelming workloads, and the pressure to perform can leave both the mind and body exhausted, making it difficult to function at your best. While many people push through fatigue with caffeine or sheer willpower, they often overlook one simple yet powerful tool: napping. Short, intentional naps can offer more than just a quick energy boost- they can help reset the brain, reduce stress hormones, and improve emotional resilience, all of which are key factors in preventing burnout.

But can napping really make a difference when it comes to chronic stress and exhaustion? Research suggests that taking time to rest during the day helps improve mood, increase focus, and lower the risk of mental and physical health problems associated with burnout. In this post, we will explore how strategic napping supports mental health, why it is an essential practice for self-care, and tips on how to incorporate naps into your busy life without disrupting your nighttime sleep.

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

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Breaking Free from People Pleasing to Build Healthier Romantic Relationships

People pleasing is a common behavior that many struggle with, often without fully understanding why they feel compelled to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict. Research shows that roughly 49-52% of people self-identify as people pleasers. At its core, people pleasing usually stems from deeper emotional needs; like the desire to be accepted, loved, or valued by others. For some, it begins early in life, shaped by family dynamics or experiences where their worth was tied to meeting others’ expectations. This pattern can become so ingrained that it feels automatic, even when it leads to personal stress or resentment.

Understanding the root cause of people pleasing is essential for breaking free from it. It often ties back to fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being “good enough” as you are. When these fears dominate, saying no or asserting your own needs can feel risky or even impossible. Exploring these underlying beliefs helps create space for healthier boundaries and self-acceptance, allowing you to build relationships based on genuine connection rather than constant approval-seeking.

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How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

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How Do I Get Out Of My Situationship?

In today’s dating culture, the line between "casually seeing someone" and "being in a relationship" can be frustratingly blurry and that gray area is often called a situationship. A situationship is when you are more than friends, less than official, and constantly guessing where you stand. Maybe it started off light and easy, but now you are emotionally invested while still lacking clarity, consistency, or commitment. If you are feeling stuck, confused, or emotionally drained, you are not alone and it may be time to reevaluate what you are really getting out of the connection.

Getting out of a situationship can feel trickier than breaking off a defined relationship. There might not be clear rules, but that does not mean your feelings are not real and it does not mean you have to stay in something that no longer serves you. Whether you are looking for more or finally ready to let go, this blog will help you recognize the signs it is time to move on, navigate the emotional side of detaching, and set clear boundaries for your next chapter. Read our blog “How to Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships.”

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What Are Signs of the Fawning Response?

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What Are Signs of the Fawning Response?

When we talk about trauma responses, most people are familiar with fight, flight, or freeze. But there is another lesser-known reaction called fawning- a survival mechanism where a person seeks to appease others to avoid conflict, criticism, or harm. This often looks like people-pleasing, over-apologizing, or abandoning personal needs in order to maintain peace or feel safe. While it may appear as kindness or agreeableness on the surface, fawning can be a deep-rooted response to past emotional or relational trauma.

Recognizing the signs of a fawning response is essential for anyone working on setting healthier boundaries or healing from trauma. From difficulty saying “no” to constantly anticipating others’ needs, the behaviors linked to fawning often go unnoticed because they are socially rewarded. In this post, we will explore the key indicators of the fawning response, why it develops, and how awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your authentic self.

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

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What to Do When Your Mental Health Takes a Hit in College

College can be an exciting time filled with new experiences, friendships, and opportunities for growth. But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally challenging. Between academic pressure, social changes, and the uncertainty of the future, many students find their mental health taking a hit. It is important to remember that struggling with mental health during college is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to navigate this difficult period.

If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down, you are not alone and you do not have to face it by yourself. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and there are resources and strategies that can help you regain balance. In this blog, we will explore practical steps you can take when your mental health is struggling, from seeking support to building healthy habits that can make a real difference in your college experience. View our blog “4 Ways to Build A Habit That Sticks.”

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What is Type A Personality?

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What is Type A Personality?

Ever wondered why some people always seem to be in a hurry, intensely focused on goals, and driven by competition? These traits are often associated with what psychologists call a Type A personality. First introduced in the 1950s by cardiologists Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, the Type A behavior pattern has since become a popular way to describe individuals who thrive on achievement, urgency, and high standards- sometimes to the point of stress.

In this blog post, we will explore what it really means to have a Type A personality, how it can influence behavior, relationships, and even health, and why understanding this personality type can help you better manage your lifestyle! Whether you identify as Type A yourself or know someone who fits the mold, gaining insight into this personality type can offer valuable tools for balance, productivity, and well-being.

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How to Respond to Constructive Criticism with A Growth Mindset

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How to Respond to Constructive Criticism with A Growth Mindset

Receiving constructive criticism can stir up a range of emotions- defensiveness, embarrassment, even self-doubt. But when viewed through a mental health lens, it is clear that how we respond to feedback can deeply impact our emotional well-being and personal growth. Instead of seeing criticism as a threat, reframing it as an opportunity for self-awareness and development can help build resilience and emotional intelligence.

In this blog, we will explore healthy, grounded ways to respond to constructive criticism while safeguarding your mental health. From recognizing emotional triggers to practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, you will learn strategies to handle feedback without letting it erode your self-worth. Growth does not mean perfection. Instead, it means learning how to listen, reflect, and move forward without losing your sense of self.

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How To Stop Procrastinating

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How To Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination is a sneaky habit that often disguises itself as harmless delay until deadlines loom, anxiety spikes, and you find yourself scrambling to catch up. Whether it is putting off work tasks, avoiding chores, or sidestepping personal goals, most people know the cycle all too well: a burst of motivation, followed by distraction, guilt, and frustration. But breaking this pattern is not just about “trying harder”- it is about understanding why you procrastinate and building systems that make progress easier and more automatic. Check out our blog “4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks.” 

At its core, procrastination is not a sign of laziness. It is often a response to overwhelm, fear of failure, or a lack of clarity. To truly stop procrastinating, you need more than a to-do list; you need strategies that work with your brain, not against it. In this guide, we will explore practical tools and mindset shifts that help you take action even when motivation is low. Because lasting change does not come from willpower alone, it comes from designing your life in a way that makes follow-through feel doable!

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

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What Is Highly Functional Depression?

Highly functional depression is often hidden behind smiles and success. It is a form of depression where you may appear to manage daily responsibilities- work, relationships, and social interactions- while silently struggling with persistent emotional pain. Unlike major depressive episodes that can be visibly debilitating, highly functional depression allows people to "keep it together" externally, making it difficult for others to notice anything is wrong. It is commonly associated with dysthymia, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a long-term, low-grade form of depression that can subtly drain a person’s joy and motivation over time. According to research from the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1.5% of United States adults experience dysthymia within a given year.

What makes this condition particularly challenging is that those experiencing it often feel invalidated or misunderstood. If you resonate with high-functioning depression, you might dismiss your own suffering because you are still achieving goals or receiving praise, leading to guilt, burnout, and a worsening emotional state. In this blog, we will unpack the signs, causes, and consequences of highly functional depression and, most importantly, explore steps toward healing even when everything “seems fine” on the outside.

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

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What Is Invisible Emotional Labor?

Invisible emotional labor refers to the often unrecognized and unacknowledged work of managing emotions- both your own and those of others. It is the mental and emotional effort that goes into maintaining harmony in relationships, managing workplace dynamics, or taking care of others' emotional needs without receiving formal recognition or compensation. This form of labor can show up in many areas of life, from supporting a friend through a tough time, to managing the mood of a team at work, to performing the emotional heavy lifting in a household. While it is typically invisible to others, it can weigh heavily on the person doing the work, leading to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

What makes invisible emotional labor particularly challenging is that it is often assumed to be a “natural” role or responsibility, especially for women, parents, or caregivers. Society tends to overlook the emotional effort it takes to keep relationships and environments functional, and often, the people doing this work do not even realize how much they are giving until they feel drained or overwhelmed. In this blog, we will unpack what invisible emotional labor looks like, why it is important to recognize it, and how to navigate it without letting it take a toll on your well-being.

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