toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
trauma counseling, nyc counselor, nj therapist, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.

A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.

This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.

How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

grief nj

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How to Battle The Loneliness Epidemic

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How to Battle The Loneliness Epidemic

As human beings, our need to socially connect with other people is innate. Loneliness can occur when there is a gap present between your desire for a social connection and the actual experiences of it. This gap can trigger a state of distress or discomfort. Even if you are surrounded by a lot of people throughout the day, you may still experience loneliness. Loneliness can threaten both your mental and physical health.

Anyone can experience loneliness, but the way each person experiences it is unique. It is completely possible to feel lonely without necessarily being alone. On the other hand, you may be alone and not feel lonely at all.

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How to Cope with The Death of a Pet

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How to Cope with The Death of a Pet

When a person you love dies, it is normal to go through a grieving phase where you feel deep sadness and your family and friends are there to comfort you. However, when you lose a pet, you may not experience the same type of support from your loved ones. In fact, your grief may go unnoticed or unacknowledged by the other people in your life. 

The truth is that losing a pet is just as painful and devastating as the loss of a human being, but pet grief does not get talked about nearly as often. If you are a pet parent who recently lost their companion, please know that you are not alone and there are steps that you can take to heal.

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Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

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Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

What is friendship grief?

Losing a friend can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences one may experience. Friendships are manufactured around understanding and trust. After that trust and bond are broken, it can leave us with an empty gap in our hearts that may never be restored the same as it was with that one friend. Just like any relationship breakup, whether it be romantic or a friendship, one of the most complex parts of the adjustment is accepting that things will never go back to normal. Accepting that that valuable connection you once shared with someone is now absent. 

Why losing a friend hurts so much:

Losing a friend can feel like losing a piece of yourself. The emotional intimacy shared with a close friend can be as powerful as a romantic partner. No matter why or how the friendship ended, the feeling of being unwanted by someone you once shared a strong connection with is challenging to endure. If your friend is the one who breaks the friendship, it can leave you heartbroken. Having a best friend provides you with a sense of security and someone who you associate a majority of your memories with, good and bad. A close friend may have gotten you through a difficult time in your life or helped you progress through certain aspects of your life.

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The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

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The Summer I Turned Pretty: How Grief Is Processed And Portrayed Differently In The Family

Spoilers ahead if you didn’t watch both seasons of the show The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon Prime Video

The Summer I Turned Pretty is a teen drama based on the book series written by Jenny Han. It follows a young teen, Belly, and her journey through young adulthood. This summer is a bit different than the previous summers. Belly seems to have had a glow-up, making her feel more ambitious. She decides to be a bit rebellious and break out of her “goody-two-shoes” mindset - like going to parties, flirting with boys, and even skinny dipping. On the surface, The Summer I Turned Pretty can seem like your average teen romance show, however, it takes a turn as the season progresses. 

Belly, her mom (Laurel), and her brother (Steven) stay with a family friend, Susannah, and her two boys, Jeremiah and Conrad, every summer. Since they’ve been going to the summer house for so many years, they have basically all become one big family. Over time, we start to find out that Susannah is suffering from terminal cancer. Obviously, this is a lot to take in for everyone in the family and it can be incredibly traumatic. Not only Belly is dealing with this huge life transition, but she also has to stomach the fact that she may lose her second Mom. Ultimately, by season 2, Susannah sadly passes. Every main character of the show deals with grief in their own way, and you may be able to relate to them. You can even see how the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) can tie into each character’s experiences.

If you or a loved one are going through the grief process and would like to know more about it and possible counseling options, check out these blogs:

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Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

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Grief: How to Cope with Losing A Loved One

Grief is complicated. When you experience the loss of a loved one, you will soon come to understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve- everyone’s journey with grief looks different. When you understand the stages and type of grief, you can also discover healthier ways to cope with this life transition.

Plainly, grief is the experience of coping with loss. While one of the most common occurrences of grief is losing a loved one, grief can actually accompany many events which have the ability to disrupt our lives and versions of ‘normalcy.’ Loss is a natural part of life, and it is normal to grieve after experiencing a form of loss. You suffer emotionally when you feel like someone or something has been taken from you.

The pain that accompanies loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience many difficult emotions during your grieving period, including shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and intense sadness. Grief can also pain you physically, triggering sleep issues or brain fogginess. Believe it or not, all of these reactions to loss are normal. The bigger the loss is, the more intense you can expect your grief to be.

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How to Cope with Life Transitions as a Senior Citizen

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How to Cope with Life Transitions as a Senior Citizen

As you grow older, you experience many life transitions. As we age, many people associate aging with our changing physical bodies, but it goes beyond that. While aging certainly affects different body parts and our psychological processes, there is a collective aging that occurs as well.

For example, the opportunities and expectations change as you age. Additionally, there are institutional obstacles you may face, such as certain stereotypes and a form of discrimination known as ageism. 

There are developmental changes that occur over time and situational changes that relate to a particular set of circumstances or it may be linked to health and illness. All of these changes and more can be categorized as life transitions.

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Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

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Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

Have you recently lost someone close to you and now you feel like the world has lost its purpose? Or did a serious relationship traumatically end? Did you recently learn that you are unable to have children? Whatever it is, you are not alone. When you go through a traumatic event like the ones listed above, you may be at risk for experiencing grief. 

What Is Grief?

Grief is a common emotional response (in some cases a physical response) that you feel after experiencing a loss from a disaster or traumatic event. Anyone can experience grief, and the effects and experiences differ from each person to the next. Feelings may range from deep sadness to anger outbursts. A person's grief largely depends on their personal attachment to what was lost.

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How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving

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How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving

When a loved one loses someone important in their life, it does not just disrupt their day-to-day activities, but it changes their life forever. When someone you love experiences the death of a loved one, especially a sudden and unexpected passing, it is difficult to know how to offer support and comfort. You may not know what to say and you may even be afraid to say the wrong thing.

This can particularly be the case if you have not experienced the loss of a person before. You may not know how to relate to the other person since you never experienced those emotions. The truth is that, even if you have experienced feelings of grief, it is still hard to know how to console a relative or friend who is grieving. Even if it seems like nothing you can say or do will help the situation, do not stop offering your support and condolences. Accept that you cannot fix the situation, and focus on the present.

Grief is a gradual process. All you can do is be there as a pillar of support for your friend or relative, and hold a positive attitude about the future. Something as small as sending flowers, delivering a meal, or helping out your loved one with household tasks can be an immense source of help.

No matter what, try to be flexible and open to your loved one’s method of grieving. Grieving looks different for everyone. For example, if a friend loses a person who they had a close relationship with, but you want to continue your weekend tradition of getting brunch, still extend the invitation to your friend. Be prepared for your friend to say “no” and be accepting of their choice, but simply offering them that sense of support and “normalcy” during a chaotic time can be helpful. If your friend declines the offer, that is okay. You can check in on them the next day.

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How To Know When To Seek Grief Therapy & Learn All About The New Grief Diagnosis

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How To Know When To Seek Grief Therapy & Learn All About The New Grief Diagnosis

Grief is an inevitable part of life. In fact, it is a completely normal part of coping with loss. Grief is an extremely unique experience. In other words, it looks different to everyone from severity to how long the grief process lasts.

However, there are some scenarios where seemingly normal grief can transform into a grief disorder. As of March 2022, there is an updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR). Within the DSM-5-TR, there is now an official mental health disorder for prolonged grief. With the symptoms and criteria for the diagnosis, it can tell you if your grief has become a major problem in your life. It can also tell you if you are grieving longer than you should and that you are not grieving in a healthy way. Read more below all about the new grief disorder in the DSM-5-TR which all psychotherapists and psychiatrists will use to diagnose clients. With the help of a grief counselor, you can overcome your grief disorder and come out of the experience as a stronger person!