In-person premarital counseling in Hoboken, NJ, and video sessions across New Jersey, New York & Florida
Premarital counseling gives you and your partner protected time to talk through the big decisions before the wedding. Maybe the date is set, and somewhere between the venue tour and the guest list you've noticed there's a lot you haven't talked through yet. Our premarital counseling in Hoboken, NJ, helps you start those conversations while things between you feel good.
Premarital counseling, sometimes called pre marriage counseling, is a preventive form of couples therapy for engaged couples. It helps you talk through big topics like money and family, so you start your marriage with a shared plan. Our licensed team holds LCSW, LPC, LSW, and LAC credentials. Our team includes therapists trained in the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
We see couples in person at our Hoboken office and virtually across New Jersey, New York, and Florida. Most couples who come to us for premarital counseling are happy together and want to protect their relationship.
Wedding planning asks a lot of the two of you at once. You're making big money choices and blending two families, often while working full time. Premarital counseling gives those talks a structure, so they happen on purpose and at a calm moment.
Many of the couples we see in Hoboken are planning a wedding on top of demanding jobs and long commutes. The wedding often turns into the first big project they manage together, and it shows them how they make decisions as a team. How the two of you handle the guest list with each other's families is often a preview of how you'll handle holidays for the next twenty years.
Studies of premarital programs show the clearest gains in how couples talk to each other. A 2010 meta-analysis of 47 studies in Family Relations found that these programs improved communication, with large effects when researchers watched couples talk. Once unpublished studies were counted, the programs showed no significant effect on overall relationship quality, and few studies followed couples past the early years of marriage.
In our experience, the couples who get the most out of premarital couples counseling come in curious about each other. You'll learn things about your partner you assumed you already knew, and you'll practice talking about hard topics in a way that feels steady for both of you.
Every couple is different, so your therapist will shape sessions around what matters most to the two of you. Most premarital counseling touches on the topics couples tend to assume they agree on until they say them out loud.
Common areas include:
In our work with engaged couples, money tends to be the conversation that surprises couples most. Two partners can both say they're careful with money and mean very different things by it. Talking about where those habits came from usually takes the heat out of the topic, and it gives you a plan you both helped write.
Our therapists use an integrated approach, which means we draw on a few well-researched methods and fit them to your relationship.
The main frameworks we use in premarital couples therapy are:
The Gottman Method names four patterns that research links to relationships that struggle over time:
We help you spot these patterns early and practice what to do in their place, such as starting a hard conversation gently and taking a break when either of you feels flooded.
In our sessions with engaged couples, these patterns tend to show up in small ways first. It might be an eye roll during a budget talk, or one of you going quiet every time your future in-laws come up. Catching those moments now, while they're small, is a lot easier than undoing them after years of practice.
Sometimes one of you keeps running into the same pattern you saw in past relationships or in your family growing up. When that comes up, our therapists may weave in ideas from attachment-based therapy to help you both understand what each of you needs to feel secure.
If you're ready to start, fill out the form at the bottom of this page and we'll match you with a premarital counselor who fits your relationship.
How the two of you handle the guest list with each other's families is often a preview of how you'll handle holidays for the next twenty years.
Get startedYour first session is mostly about getting to know you as a couple. Your therapist will ask about your story as a couple and what you each hope to get out of premarital therapy. You'll leave with a rough plan for which topics to cover and in what order.
After that, most sessions focus on one or two topics at a time. You'll talk with each other while your therapist guides the conversation and slows things down when it gets tense. They'll also point out patterns you might not notice on your own. Many couples tell us the most useful part is practicing a hard conversation with someone in the room who can help it go well.
Between sessions, your therapist may suggest short exercises to try at home, like a weekly check-in. These are meant to fit into a busy week.
We usually suggest starting a few months before the wedding. That gives you time to practice what you learn while the stakes feel low, and it keeps sessions from competing with the final weeks of wedding planning. If your wedding is sooner than that, it's still worth starting, and you can keep going into your first year of marriage.
Premarital couples counseling is built for you if you're doing well together and want to plan ahead. You don't need a problem to come in, and you don't need to be engaged yet.
In premarital counseling, we often work with:
Premarital counseling can also help when you love each other and keep getting stuck on one issue, like where to live or whether to have kids. Sometimes a few sessions with a neutral third person are enough to help you find a path you both feel good about.
If you're wondering whether premarital counseling is right for you, try talking through a few of these questions at home. If any of them start a conversation you can't finish, that's a good sign premarital counseling would help.
Premarital counseling and couples counseling use many of the same tools, and the difference is mostly about timing and goals. Premarital counseling comes earlier. You come in while things are going well to build skills and get on the same page before you marry.
Couples counseling is usually a better fit when a relationship is already under strain, for example:
If you're engaged and also working through something painful, tell us when you reach out so we can match you with the right kind of care.
If you aren't thinking about marriage yet and want help with communication or trust while dating, our relationship counseling services may be a better starting point.
Our office is at 80 River Street in Hoboken, a short walk from the Hoboken PATH station. We see couples from Hoboken and nearby Hudson County towns like Jersey City, Weehawken, and Union City, along with New Yorkers who take the PATH train from Manhattan.
Virtual premarital therapy can be a good fit if:
We offer secure video sessions for couples in New Jersey, New York, and Florida, and we'll match you with a therapist licensed in your state.
To get started, fill out the form at the bottom of this page.
Our office is at 80 River Street, Suite 306, Hoboken, NJ 07030, and our phone number is (201) 565-2275.
Every therapist at Anchor Therapy is a licensed mental health professional. Our team includes therapists with advanced training in couples work, including the Gottman Method and EFT, so you'll be matched with a premarital counselor who knows how to help the two of you talk through hard things.
You can learn more about each therapist's background and training on our Meet Our Team page. If you'd like a therapist of a certain gender or one with blended-family experience, tell us on the form and we'll do our best to match you.
Book your first session by filling out the form at the bottom of this page, and our intake coordinator will reach out to help you get scheduled.
Psychotherapist
Works withTeens (15+ years old), Adults, Couples, Families, and LGBTQIA+
SpecialtiesAnxiety, Depression, Relationship Issues, Trauma, Addiction, Life Transitions, Self-esteem, Premarital Counseling, and more
Read Antonio's bio →
Psychotherapist · Senior Clinical Supervisor
Works withTeens (15+ years old), Adults, Couples, Families, and LGBTQIA+
SpecialtiesRelationship Issues, Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, Substance Abuse & Addiction, Grief, Life Transitions, Premarital Counseling, and more
Read Elena's bio →
Psychotherapist
Works withChildren (5+ years old), Teens, Adults, Couples, Families, and LGBTQIA+
SpecialtiesRelationship Issues, Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, Family Conflict, Parenting, Life Transitions, Premarital Counseling, and more
Read Laura's bio →
Psychotherapist
Works withTeens (18+ Years Old), Adults, Couples, Families, and LGBTQIA+
SpecialtiesTrauma, Anxiety, Substance Abuse, Relationship Issues, Depression, Family Conflict, Work Stress, Premarital Counseling, and more
Read Maria's bio →
Psychotherapist · Office Manager · Social Media Manager · Community Engagement Director
Works withTeens (15+ years old), Adults, Couples, Families, and LGBTQIA+
SpecialtiesRelationship Issues, Anxiety, Breakup, Self-esteem, Life Transitions, Depression, Grief, Trauma, Premarital Counseling, and more
Read Victoria's bio →Ready to start premarital counseling in Hoboken, NJ? Fill out the form at the bottom of this page to get matched with a therapist, in person at our Hoboken office or virtually anywhere in New Jersey, New York, or Florida.
Use the form at the bottom of this page and tell us a little about your relationship and what you're hoping to work on.
Our intake coordinator reaches out to match you with a premarital counselor whose training and style fit your goals, and to find a session time that works for both of you. Most couples hear back from us within one business day. We offer same-week appointments for new clients.
You meet with your premarital counselor for your first session, set goals together, and build a plan you both feel good about. From there, you'll meet at a pace that fits your relationship.
Do you take insurance?
We're out of network with insurance. Many couples use the superbills we provide to seek out-of-network reimbursement from their insurer. Reach out by filling out the form at the bottom of this page, and we'll walk you through the cost and what reimbursement could look like for you, then match you with the right therapist.
Do you offer virtual premarital counseling?
Yes, we offer virtual premarital counseling through secure video sessions for couples in New Jersey, New York, and Florida. You can join from the same room or from two different places if your schedules or locations don't line up. We'll match you with a therapist licensed in your state.
Do you offer premarital counseling outside of Hoboken?
Yes. We see couples in person at our Hoboken, NJ office, and by secure video for residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida. Virtual sessions work well for packed work schedules, partners who live in different places for part of the week, or anywhere outside commuting distance. Fill out the form at the bottom of this page with any questions.
How long does premarital counseling take?
You'll usually meet for a focused set of sessions in the months before the wedding, and the exact length depends on what you want to cover and how much time is left. You can also keep going into your first year of marriage. Your therapist will map out a plan with you in your first session.
How do we know if we need premarital counseling?
If you're planning to get married or move in together, premarital counseling can help, even when things feel good. It's especially useful if one topic keeps coming up, like money or kids, or if either of you grew up around a lot of conflict. The questions earlier on this page are a good place to start.
Do we need to be engaged to start premarital counseling?
You can start premarital counseling before you're engaged, while you're still talking about engagement or about moving in together. It can help you decide whether marriage feels right for both of you. If you've already married, newlywed sessions cover the same ground.
Is premarital counseling religious?
It's open to couples of every faith background, including interfaith couples and couples who aren't religious, and it's grounded in clinical research and led by licensed therapists. If faith matters to you, we'll make room for it in your sessions. If your place of worship requires a specific program, ask whether licensed therapy counts.
What if we disagree about something big?
That's common, and it's one of the best reasons to come in. Your therapist stays neutral and helps each of you understand what's behind your position. From there, you can work toward an answer you both feel good about, whether it's about where to live or when to have kids, before the wedding adds pressure.
What if premarital counseling shows we're not compatible?
It's normal to worry about this before you start. Your therapist won't grade your relationship or decide whether you should get married. The differences you find become things the two of you can plan for together, and if a bigger question comes up, your therapist will help you talk about it openly, at a pace that feels okay for both of you.
You don't need a problem to start premarital counseling. The best time to build these skills is while things between the two of you feel good.
We offer premarital counseling in-person in Hoboken, NJ, and virtually in New Jersey, New York, and Florida. Whether your wedding is a year away or a few weeks out, it's still worth starting.
Fill out the form at the bottom of this page and tell us a little about the two of you. Our intake coordinator will match you with a premarital counselor who fits your relationship.
You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.
The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Relationships thrive on emotional connection, yet many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional distance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples offers a research-based approach that helps partners move beyond surface arguments to understand the deeper emotions and attachment needs driving their interactions. Instead of focusing solely on communication techniques, EFT works to strengthen the emotional bond between partners which helps you and your partner feel safer, more supported, and more understood in the relationship.
Through guided conversations and structured interventions, EFT helps couples identify negative interaction patterns and replace them with healthier ways of responding to each other. As partners learn to express vulnerable emotions and respond with empathy rather than defensiveness, trust and closeness can gradually be rebuilt. The goal of EFT is not just resolving conflicts, but creating a secure emotional connection that allows couples to face challenges together with greater resilience and intimacy.
Premarital counseling is a form of therapy designed to help couples prepare for marriage by fostering open communication, addressing potential areas of conflict, and aligning on core values and expectations. At Anchor Therapy, the goal of our couples counselors is to equip couples with the tools they need to build a strong, lasting partnership. Sessions often include guided conversations around topics like finances, intimacy, family planning, career goals, and conflict resolution.
Premarital counseling is more than just a checklist of marital “must-dos,” it provides a safe space to explore each person’s background, beliefs, and hopes for the future. It encourages couples to confront differences early and collaboratively which reduces the risk of future misunderstandings. For many, this experience not only strengthens their bond but also lays a foundation of trust, empathy, and mutual respect that supports a healthy marriage from day one!
Any relationship is a partnership built on love, trust, and shared dreams, but this can especially be true for a marriage. Even if you feel like you and your spouse’s relationship is a very strong one, rough patches can occur which may leave one or both of you feeling unsatisfied or disconnected. If you are experiencing unhappiness in your marriage, you may feel stuck or unsure of where to turn to next. If you are struggling with this, please understand that you are not alone. In fact, a journalist conducted a study and revealed that six out of 10 couples are unhappily coupled. Acknowledging that something is off in your relationship is the first step towards working to a point of solution.
Being unhappy in your marriage does not mean that divorce is impending- it is just a signal that something needs a little extra attention in your romantic connection, whether it is different communication styles or intimacy issues. Through effect and the professional support of a couples counselor at Anchor Therapy, you can address the issues in your marriage and build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.
When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.
You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth.
If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.
Ethical non-monogamy is a romantic relationship structure where all people involved consent to having multiple romantic or sexual relationships. Unlike cheating, all actions in a non-monogamous relationship are ethically conducted where everyone’s boundaries and feelings are being respected and honored. Honesty and open communication are at the forefront of an ethically non-monogamous relationship.
Ethical non-monogamy may also be referred to as an ENM relationship. ENM is an umbrella term for taking part in a romantic or intimate relationship that is not exclusive to just two people. Non-monogamy is simply the opposite of monogamy. A monogamous relationship is where two partners are exclusive with one another and do not engage in romantic or intimate relationships with other people.
To learn how to have a successful ENM relationship, continue to read this blog!
The Gottman Method is a type of couples therapy and form of psychoeducation that comes from the work of Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist and researcher. For over 40 years, Dr. Gottman studied and analyzed what makes a couple successful versus the times when there is trouble in paradise. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, the wife of Dr. John Gottman, created the Gottman Method, or the clinical treatment framework. Together, the dynamic duo launched the Gottman Institute.
The Gottman Method is a distinct form of couples therapy. What differentiates this form of counseling from other types of therapy is the extensive scientific research that the Method is grounded in. If you are interested in learning more about the Gottman Method and how it may assist you and your significant other, keep on scrolling!
Chances are that you heard about losing the ‘spark’ in a relationship or marriage before. One of the most common myths of any long-term romantic connection is that passion and intimacy will only decrease with time, not grow stronger or more intense. The spark is that inherent sense of excitement that you feel when you are with your loved one. In other words, it is that ‘butterflies in your stomach’ feeling.
While it is normal to get comfortable with your partner over time, it is always possible to get the spark back- it is not lost for good. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with your significant other for a while, continue reading this blog to learn more about how sex therapy can enhance the intimacy in your romantic relationship.
If you have ever been with someone, but not really with someone, then you have likely been in a situationship. You are more than friends but you are not exactly in a relationship. You are making last-minute plans, talking inconsistently, and your romantic connection is not exactly defined. In modern culture, casual relationships are extremely common. What was first known as a “booty call” morphed into “friends with benefits” and it is now known as a “situationship.”
If it was a movie, you and your situationship would witness the blossoming of friendship into an official romantic relationship. You two would fall in love and live happily ever after. But, as you may have guessed, life is not a picture-perfect movie and things do not always work out as you wish they would. The real question is - are situationships unhealthy?