Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.
As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Backdrop on Showtime’s Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy brings unfiltered therapy sessions to your living room television screen. The show was created by the amazing filmmakers, Josh Kriegman, Elyse Steinberg, and Eli B. Despres. The filmmakers production goal was to create an intimate and radical look into the realities of mental health counseling. Each season of the show follows three to four couples.
According to Vulture, the filmmakers hid the cameras behind a one-way glass throughout Dr. Guralnik’s office. The purpose of doing so was to make the therapeutic process feel as natural as possible. Couples can come in and sit in the lobby, waiting for Dr. Guralnik to get them and bring them into her office. After sitting in the waiting room, the couples go through their one-hour long therapy session and leave, never interacting with a camera or crew member.
The show does not only follow the couples in therapy sessions, their homes, and general personal lives, but it also gives a glimpse into Dr. Orna Guralnik’s professional processes. Viewers get to witness Dr. Guralnik’s meetings with her own clinical advisor, Dr. Virginia Goldner, and her peer group.
Themes in Couples Therapy
The major themes seen throughout the three seasons of Couples Therapy are the same issues that licensed couples therapists deal with each and every day.
Some popular themes in couples counseling include:
Working through infidelity (Read “How To Heal After Infidelity”)
Divorce and separation (Our blog “Everything You Need To Know About Divorce Counseling” is a must-read)
Physical or mental conditions impacting the couple
Same-sex relationships (Read “How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique”)
Spiritual and/or cultural differences
Financial management
Communication issues (For more support, check out our blog “4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know”)
And more!
Dr. Guralnik is brilliant in the show, doing the almost-impossible capturing real therapy sessions in their authentic state. Each season features couples going through very different issues and life transitions, encompassing altering attitudes towards love, what it means to be a couple, and sexual connection.
Dr. Guralnik stated, “I have a very alive private practice in New York, and [monogamy] is a very hot topic on people’s minds.” She elaborates, “What are the boundaries of a relationship? It’s one option that people come up with to deal with all sorts of stressors and issues. I don’t even know what’s considered tradition anymore, but certainly 10 years ago, that would not have been a viable option for people.”
This idea of polyamory, also known as the engaging in multiple romantic and sexual relationships with the consent of everyone involved, was explored deeply in season three of Couples Therapy with the openly-queer couple Christine and Nadine.
Navigating Polyamory with Christine and Nadine: A Deep Dive into Their Couples Therapy Journey
At the point when Christine and Nadine arrive at Dr. Guralnik’s office, they have been together for 16 months and are in the process of transitioning to polyamory.
Dr. Guralnik states, “These old-time heteronormative structures… there’s a great loss of faith in that. The younger generation, they’ve kind of seen through it. But some of these structures, like the structure of marriage, are there to reflect certain anxieties that we all have.”
Transitioning from monogamy to polyamory is not easy for a couple. Couples counseling can help you explore the possibility of opening your relationship up or it can help strengthen the bond between couples who have committed to the lifestyle.
In the case of Christine and Nadine, they felt stuck and unsure about moving forward. When it comes to opening up your romantic connection, challenging emotions, such as jealousy and anxiety, can arise. Therapy can be a source of support for you during this transitional time and can help you navigate your feelings.
The decision to go to therapy is a personal one and you must do what is right for you and your significant other.
When it comes to attending counseling for polyamory, here are some things to consider:
Have realistic expectations:
Therapy is helpful, but one session will not fix all of your problems. Therapy takes time, and that is okay. Opening your relationship up to polyamory can be a long, challenging process. Be patient and committed to this ideal. This may even mean doing homework assignments outside of therapy, such as practicing communication skills.
Know that it requires effort:
If you want therapy to work, you and your partner have to put the work in. You have to be open to feedback from your couples therapist.
Polyamory is not guaranteed:
Just because you attend couples counseling for polyamory, does not mean that having an open relationship is guaranteed. You have to enter counseling with the mindset that your relationship may not transition successfully, and there may be additional challenges that come along with non-monogamy.
Explore your feelings:
Therapy is a safe and non-judgmental space where you and your partner can explore your feelings and desires for polyamory. You can openly discuss any fears and/or concerns you have and gain a better comprehension of your own values and needs.
Negotiate boundaries:
When you transition to polyamory, clear and well-defined boundaries are required. A couples counselor will help you and your partner negotiate boundaries and come to a mutual understanding of what is and what is not acceptable in your relationship.
“If you’re not relying on a long-standing tradition, you have to invent something new” proclaims Dr. Guralnik.
Overcoming Intimacy Issues: Natasha and Josh's Couples Therapy Journey
Natasha and Josh were another couple highlighted on the show Couples Therapy. The couple struggles with lack of intimacy on Josh’s part. Like many couples, Natasha and Josh were having issues prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, but the global lockdown forced their issues to come to a head, seeking the help of Dr. Guralnik.
Dr. Guralnik attributes their intimacy issues to past traumas that both partners faced, affecting their relationship in the present moment.
Living through traumatic events can result in expecting betrayal and danger within new or old connections. As a survivor of trauma, you may feel confused about what is safe and vulnerable in romantic connections. This can make it hard to trust other people, even people you may have trusted and confided in, in the past.
Check out our blog “How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You As An Adult” for more information.
What is Dr. Guralnik’s approach to couples counseling?
Dr. Orna Guralnik is trained in both psychoanalysis and systems theory. In the psychoanalysis approach, the focus is on the unconscious. In other words, you are looking at how the past influences the present, especially in the context of trauma.
In the systems approach, Dr. Guralnik is examining the couple as a whole. When a couple walks into Dr. Guralnik’s office, she views them as a unit. On an individual level, she is looking at what each adult needs and how their past impacts their present situation. Then, she examines what the couple needs as a whole by examining their patterns that have a purpose for the couple, not each individual.
For example, let us say that a family comes in for family counseling and the teenage daughter is presenting behavioral issues. If you only address the teen’s issues, you may be missing the bigger picture. For instance, the teen may be presenting those problems due to something between the parents and the general family system.
Is Couples Therapy really realistic?
Surprisingly, Couples Therapy offers a very realistic glimpse into a standard couples therapy session. In today’s world of oversharing and social media, it seems like our therapist’s office is the one area of privacy we have left, but the television show Couples Therapy is redefining that idea.
The idea of couples counseling seems fairly straightforward. You are having issues in your romantic connection, so you decide to seek the help of a couples therapist. You sit on a sofa and the couples counselor sits in a chair across from you, essentially asking you what you dislike about your partner. Fortunately, this is an outdated idea of therapy.
Being in a relationship is work, and couples counseling requires participation from both sides to achieve the results you desire.
Couples counseling looks different today than it did years ago, and Couples Therapy with Dr. Orna Guralnik is helping showcase that. There are many new approaches to couples therapy, such as Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method. To learn about some of these new methods, read our blog “What is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)?”. Couples counseling can save and strengthen a relationship.
What does couples counseling at Anchor Therapy look like?
At Anchor Therapy, we have both female and male couples counselors who can help you and your partner feel like your best selves again.
Our relationship counselors will assess you and your partner during your first session together, also known as the intake session. The one-hour long intake session will cover your past, your timeline for therapy, and goals as a couple.
The first few sessions of couples counseling consist of your couples counselor getting to know you individually and as a couple. Your relationship specialist will ask you about your childhoods, how you met, the early stages of your relationship, your family, and additional facets of your personal life.
While this part of the therapeutic process may seem boring, it is a necessary part of counseling. By hearing your whole story, your couples counselor can make an accurate assessment of your relationship and foster a treatment plan that is right for you and your partner. Also, going over details of your past can help put things and current problems into perspective.
Revealing intimate details of your life can be uncomfortable, especially at first, but please remember that therapy is a safe space. You should be open and honest in your therapy sessions so your couples counselor can successfully help you. It is okay to cry and let your partner and therapist see you in a vulnerable state.
Your couples counselor will keep both you and your partner on track while letting you be yourself. Your couples therapist will listen to what you are both saying while observing body language and the communication between you and your significant other.
The following are common goals of couples counseling:
Establish a better understanding of you, your partner, and your connection
Identify each other’s fears and anxieties
Learn how to compromise
Learn how to handle differences or arguments
Understand how to be loving
Learn each other’s love languages (Check out our blog “Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship”)
Pinpoint the root cause of your issues
Share honest feelings
Enhance empathy in your communication
Discover new strategies to solve your issues
Reignite the flame
At Anchor Therapy, we offer virtual counseling to all residents of New Jersey, including Montclair, Jersey City, and Bergen County. We also offer teletherapy to residents of New York and Florida. Clients also have the option to attend sessions in-person at our downtown Hoboken, New Jersey location.
Couples Therapy Realities: Dr. Orna Guralnik's Guiding Hand Towards Relationship Success
Overall, Showtime’s hit-show Couples Therapy accurately showcases the realities of couples counseling. Couples counseling is not always easy and the problems that couples face are diverse which is portrayed on the show. Dr. Orna Guralnik acts as a grounding force in the therapy sessions, guiding couples closer in a natural yet profound manner.
Couples therapy is a proven method to enhance the success of your connection and to get your relationship back on track. You will learn your unconscious thoughts and behavioral patterns that are impacting you on an individual level as well as your relationship. Couples counseling requires self-studying, honesty, and rawness. Combining these three aspects is a recipe for relationship success, happiness, and improved mental well-being.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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