Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.
Maybe you're the family member who always gets called difficult or dramatic, and things go wrong and somehow land on you. Your side of the story gets waved off, and every argument traces back to your name. If that feels familiar, there's a word for it. Scapegoating is when a family unfairly blames one person for problems they didn't cause. It often starts in childhood, long before you're old enough to question it, and over time it can shape how you see yourself.
You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.
The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
While everyone suffers and goes through uncomfortable situations from time-to-time, that does not mean that you should be left to suffer. In a scapegoating situation, you as the scapegoat are the one who assumes responsibility on behalf of someone else. This is not a voluntary position that you offer, instead it is pushed upon you.
Scapegoating can occur in many different environments. Most commonly, people discuss scapegoating dynamics within families. For more information, read our blog “Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families.” In families, a scapegoat can be unfairly blamed for conflicts within the family.
With that being said, scapegoating can occur in other relationships as well. At work, an employee or group of workers may be blamed for company-wide or organizational problems. At school, a student may be targeted for classroom concerns. Within communities, certain people may be blamed for widespread social problems. Regardless of the setting, the act of scapegoating is always used to intentionally shift blame and avoid addressing the reality of a situation and the actual issues at-hand.
When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.
On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.
You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.
Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.
Someone in the next room raises their voice, and before you have even registered what is happening, you are already softening yours. You apologize for something that was not your fault. You agree with an opinion you do not actually hold, and you feel a small wave of relief when the tension finally drops. If this feels familiar, you are not imagining it, and you are not weak.
What you may be experiencing is something therapists call the fawn trauma response. The fawn trauma response is a survival pattern where you automatically try to please, appease, or accommodate other people to feel safe, usually at the expense of your own needs and feelings. It often gets mistaken for being kind, easygoing, or "low maintenance" which is part of why it can go unnoticed for years. In this blog, you will learn what the fawn response is, where it comes from, how to spot it in your daily life, and how trauma therapy can help you find your way back to yourself.
If you've watched Tell Me Lies and found yourself unable to look away, even while knowing that everything about Stephen and Lucy's relationship was wrong, you're not alone. There's something deeply uncomfortable about how recognizable it all feels.
The way charm can make you second-guess your own instincts. The way someone can make you feel chosen and disposable in the same breath. The way you can see the damage happening and still not be able to walk away.
Tell Me Lies is a Hulu drama series that follows college student Lucy Albright as she becomes entangled with Stephen DeMarco, a manipulative and emotionally destructive partner whose behavior spirals across three seasons into one of the most clinically accurate portrayals of a toxic relationship on television. This blog breaks down what the show gets right about manipulation, why Stephen and Lucy's dynamic is so hard to leave, and what it looks like to actually heal from a relationship like theirs.
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the emotional temperature shift? Maybe you picked up on a friend's sadness before they said a single word, or you left a party feeling completely drained by emotions that weren't even yours. If that sounds familiar, you've probably wondered whether you're an empath, and whether empaths are even real.
An empath is a person with an extraordinary sensitivity to the emotions, energy, and moods of the people around them, experiencing those feelings as if they were their own. It's a term that gets used a lot on social media and in wellness communities, but the question of whether empaths are real is worth answering honestly. The science turns out to be more interesting than either the skeptics or the true believers tend to admit.
In this blog, we'll look at what the research says, how psychology understands high emotional sensitivity, and what it all means for your mental health and relationships.
You tell yourself this is the last time. After the argument, the silence, or the way they made you question your own memory, something in you clicks. You know this relationship is not healthy. But then a few days pass, things feel normal again, maybe even good, and suddenly leaving does not feel as clear anymore. If you have ever felt stuck in that cycle, knowing something is wrong but still finding it almost impossible to walk away, you are not alone.
Toxic relationships can be incredibly hard to leave, even when you fully recognize the damage they are causing. Nearly half of women and men in the United States will experience psychological aggression from an intimate partner at some point in their lives which shows just how common and often hidden these kinds of relationship dynamics really are. It is not just about willpower or being strong enough. There are real psychological patterns, emotional attachments, and nervous system responses that keep people tied to relationships that hurt them. In this blog, we will break down why this happens, what is actually going on beneath the surface, and what can start to help you move forward.
PTSD does not just show up as flashbacks, anxiety, or nightmares. Instead, it can subtly reshape how a person thinks, feels, and relates to the world around them. Research shows that 5% of United States adults have PTSD.
Over time, people who have experienced trauma may notice shifts in their temperament, habits, or even core sense of identity. Someone who once felt outgoing might become withdrawn. A person who used to be trusting may start expecting harm or disappointment as the default. These changes can be confusing, especially when they do not match how someone remembers themselves “before.”
What makes PTSD-related personality changes especially complex is that they are not about becoming a different person entirely, they are often about adaptation. The brain and body adjust to survive overwhelming experiences, sometimes by becoming more guarded, hyper-alert, or emotionally numb. While these responses can be protective in unsafe environments, they may feel out of place in everyday life, creating a sense of internal mismatch. Understanding this shift as a survival-based response, rather than a flaw in character, can be an important first step in making sense of how trauma continues to echo through identity.
The recent loss of a community member in Hoboken has left many of us feeling grief, confusion, and even helplessness. Events like this can shake the sense of safety and normalcy we rely on, and it is natural to experience a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, or anxiety. At Anchor Therapy, we want to acknowledge the pain this loss brings and emphasize that these feelings are valid. It is okay to seek support, whether through friends, family, or professional resources.
Coping with such a tragedy is not something we need to face alone. In times like these, connection, understanding, and open conversation are essential for healing. This blog aims to provide guidance, resources, and strategies for supporting yourself and others during this difficult time. Together, as a community, we can navigate grief, foster resilience, and honor the memory of those we have lost.
Hyper-independence is often celebrated in our culture as strength, resilience, and self-sufficiency. Yet, for many people, it is not just a preference, it is a protective strategy. At its core, hyper-independence can be a form of emotional avoidance, a way to manage uncomfortable feelings like fear, vulnerability, or shame. By relying solely on themselves and refusing help from others, hyper-independent individuals can avoid confronting emotions that feel unsafe, unfamiliar, or overwhelming. Over time, this pattern may create the illusion of control while actually limiting connection, intimacy, and personal growth.
Understanding the emotional roots of hyper-independence is essential for breaking the cycle. People who grew up in environments where asking for help was discouraged, unsafe, or met with criticism often learn to suppress emotional needs and rely entirely on themselves. While this strategy may have been adaptive in childhood, it can become limiting in adulthood, leading to isolation, burnout, and difficulty forming meaningful relationships. In this blog post, we will explore how emotional avoidance fuels hyper-independence and practical steps to start embracing connection and vulnerability safely. Read our blog “3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable.”
The new TV series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has sparked conversations not only about the complex experiences of women in high-demand religious communities, but also about the therapeutic tools portrayed on screen. One of the most notable moments is the depiction of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a trauma-focused therapy that has gained significant attention for its effectiveness in helping individuals process overwhelming or unresolved experiences. While fictional portrayals of therapy often miss the mark, this series offers viewers a surprisingly grounded glimpse into what EMDR can look like and why it resonates with so many people seeking healing.
At Anchor Therapy, we are always mindful of how the media influences public understanding of mental health treatment. When therapy is shown accurately, it opens doors for people who may never have known help was available or who may have questioned whether their own experiences “count” as trauma. In this blog, we will explore what The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives gets right about EMDR, clarify where art understandably departs from clinical reality, and offer insight into how EMDR truly supports individuals navigating religious trauma, identity conflict, and emotional wounds that develop behind closed doors.
For many survivors of trauma, the world does not just simply feel different, it actually feels muted. Emotions that once came easily may now seem distant or entirely absent, leaving a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This emotional numbness is a common but often misunderstood symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a protective response of the brain designed to shield us from overwhelming pain. While it may feel like a relief in the short term, over time, the inability to feel joy, sadness, or even anger can create its own form of suffering, affecting relationships, daily life, and self-perception.
Living with emotional numbness can be confusing and isolating. You might find yourself watching life pass by from behind a fog, unsure if what you are experiencing is “normal” or permanent. Yet, it is important to know that emotional numbness is not a personal failing. Instead, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs safety, time, and gentle care. Understanding why this numbness occurs and learning strategies to reconnect with your emotions are critical steps toward reclaiming a sense of vitality and engagement in your life.
The mass shooting that struck New York City in July 2025 left more than physical devastation- it tore through the emotional core of the city. As news broke and sirens echoed across boroughs, countless lives were instantly changed. For survivors, witnesses, families, and even those watching from afar, the psychological impact has been profound. In the days and weeks since, many are grappling with feelings of fear, helplessness, grief, and a shaken sense of safety in their everyday lives. Read our blog “How Does Grief Affect Your Identity?”.
Trauma from events like these does not fade just because the headlines do. It lingers in unexpected moments, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, or the quiet isolation of sleepless nights. Whether you were directly affected or emotionally impacted from a distance, this post explores what trauma can look like, why it is normal to feel disoriented or overwhelmed, and how to begin taking small but meaningful steps toward healing. You are not alone and your pain is valid.
If you have dealt with trauma in the past, you are likely looking for a way to better understand and regulate your emotions. Read our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions” for more information. Trauma has a way of taking over all aspects of your life, even years after the traumatic incident occurred. Narrative therapy is a successful treatment approach for people struggling with trauma or trauma disorders, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Check out our blog “5 Healthy Ways to Cope with PTSD.”
Sometimes, trauma can be so complex and feel too intense when you try to think about it deeply. However, narrative counseling is a form of psychotherapy where you can get more clarity on past events so your memories become less overwhelming. You may find some events easier to understand and cope with once you create a clearer narrative or picture of the trauma you have experienced.
Pride Month, traditionally celebrated in June, is a time to honor the resilience, diversity, and strength of the LGBTQIA+ community. It is a celebration of identity, love, and visibility but it is also a reminder of the ongoing challenges many in the community still face. For those navigating the complexities of coming out, discrimination, or seeking acceptance, Pride can stir a mix of emotions, from joy and empowerment to grief and vulnerability. That is why mental health support that truly understands and affirms LGBTQIA+ identities is more important than ever.
Affirming therapy goes beyond tolerance- it is about creating a safe, supportive space where individuals are seen, respected, and celebrated for who they are. At Anchor Therapy, our LGBTQIA+ therapists recognize that mental health care must be inclusive, culturally competent, and deeply attuned to the unique experiences of LGBTQIA+ clients. During Pride Month and throughout the year, we are committed to providing therapy that uplifts and empowers- helping individuals not just survive, but thrive in their authentic selves!
In recent years, online therapy has moved from a niche service to a mainstream mental health resource, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic that heightened both the demand for therapy and the need for accessible care! But for those dealing with the deep and complex wounds of trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a common question arises: Can healing really happen through a screen? This blog explores the effectiveness of online psychotherapy for trauma-related conditions, separating fact from myth and offering insights grounded into virtual therapy at Anchor Therapy.
Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or transitioning from in-person sessions, understanding how online formats support trauma recovery is essential. We will look at the science behind virtual trauma treatments, including Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and somatic approaches. After reading this blog, you will feel empowered with the information you need to make the right choice for your mental health journey.
It is a question that may creep into your head after another argument you did not mean to start, a text left unanswered too long, or the quiet voice in your head whispering that things are "too good to be true"- why are you self-sabotaging your relationship? If you have ever found yourself pulling away just when things are going well, you are not alone. Self-sabotage in relationships is more common than we admit- an unconscious defense mechanism rooted in fear, past wounds, or a struggle with self-worth. While on the surface it might look like disinterest, criticism, or withdrawal, underneath lies a vulnerable part of you that is afraid of being hurt, rejected, or truly seen.
Understanding why you sabotage love is the first step toward changing the pattern. Often, it is not about the other person- it is about the stories you carry, the walls you have built, and the survival strategies you learned before you even realized what they were for. In this post, we will explore the deeper reasons behind self-sabotage in relationships and what it takes to break the cycle so you can move toward connection, not conflict.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique designed to help you process and heal from traumatic experiences. It was developed in the late 1980s by Francine Shapiro and has since become a widely recognized treatment for trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation, often through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories. This process helps you reframe negative thoughts and emotions associated with traumatic events, allowing you to experience relief and healing.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR focuses on processing the memories that contribute to emotional distress rather than simply discussing them. Therefore, EMDR is a somatic therapy, or a body-centered type of counseling. The therapy is conducted in a structured format, where your EMDR therapist at Anchor Therapy guides you through different stages, including identifying distressing memories, targeting specific emotions, and using the bilateral stimulation to facilitate reprocessing. Over time, this helps to reduce the emotional charge attached to those memories, making them less intrusive and more manageable. Research has shown significant success in treating a range of mental health conditions, including PTSD, anxiety, and depression, with EMDR.
Hoboken, New Jersey is a vibrant city known for its waterfront views, bustling streets, and tight-knit community. However, like any urban area, it is not immune to crises- whether it is flooding from heavy storms, power outages, or public transit disruptions. Being prepared and knowing how to navigate emergencies can make all the difference in staying safe and minimizing the impact on your daily life. By staying informed, planning ahead, and tapping into local resources, Hoboken residents can confidently handle unexpected challenges.
From emergency alerts to evacuation routes, having a solid plan in place is crucial. Hoboken’s geography makes it particularly susceptible to flooding and, with its dense population, transit delays and power outages can quickly escalate into major disruptions. In recent years, the community has also endured deeply unsettling events, including multiple building lockdowns due to active threats requiring SWAT intervention, as well as a frightening school incident where a student threatened violence, forcing children and parents to endure repeated lockdowns. In this guide, we will cover five essential ways to stay ahead of potential crises, ensuring that you and your loved ones remain safe and mentally resilient no matter what comes your way.
Maladaptive daydreaming refers to a pattern of extensive, vivid daydreaming that interferes with daily life. Maladaptive daydreaming often becomes a form of escapism. Unlike normal daydreaming, which may occur occasionally and does not really disrupt functioning, maladaptive daydreaming can become all-consuming.
People experiencing maladaptive daydreaming may spend hours each day lost in elaborate fantasies, often centered around idealized scenarios or intricate narratives that they mentally replay. These daydreams can be triggered by external events, emotions, or boredom, and they often involve highly detailed storylines with characters, settings, and even specific events. As these fantasies grow, they can take on a life of their own, making it difficult for individuals to focus on real-world tasks or engage meaningfully with other people to foster relationships.
While daydreaming itself is not inherently harmful, maladaptive daydreaming can have significant negative consequences. People who struggle with this type of daydreaming may experience difficulty concentrating on work or school, neglect relationships, or feel disconnected from their surroundings. These daydreams often create a sense of temporary relief from life's stresses, but they can ultimately cause more issues in the long-run, preventing individuals from addressing the real challenges they face. As the fantasies become more compelling and immersive, the boundary between fantasy and reality can blur which can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression. For more information, check out our blog “3 Benefits of Working with a Depression Therapist.”
Understanding maladaptive daydreaming is crucial in order to address it effectively and find healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions.
Healing from past medical trauma can feel like an overwhelming journey, but it is possible to regain control and peace with the right therapeutic approach. Medical trauma can come in many forms whether it is from a difficult diagnosis, a painful procedure, or generally negative healthcare experiences. Medical trauma typically leaves long-lasting, deep emotional scars that impact your level of trust in doctors, health decisions, and overall welfare. Over time, these wounds can manifest as anxiety, fear, or even physical symptoms, making it important to recognize the impact of these experiences and seek ways to move forward. If you struggle with physical mental health symptoms, check out our blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.”
Taking steps toward healing involves acknowledging the trauma, seeking mental health support from a licensed psychotherapist, and building healthier coping mechanisms. Whether through mental health counseling at Anchor Therapy, mindfulness, or support groups, addressing these emotional wounds allows you to reclaim your sense of self and find comfort in your healthcare journey again. With patience and care, it is possible to navigate the healing process and transform past medical experiences into sources of strength and resilience!
