Perfectionists often pride themselves on discipline, high standards, and attention to detail but those same traits can come with a hidden cost: sleepless nights. When the mind is constantly evaluating, planning, and replaying “what could have been done better,” it is hard to fully switch off. Even small mistakes or unfinished tasks can trigger worry and rumination, making it nearly impossible to drift into deep, restorative sleep. For perfectionists, bedtime is not just a chance to rest, it can become another arena for self-criticism and mental overdrive.
Understanding why perfectionists struggle with sleep requires looking beyond lifestyle habits and examining the underlying psychological patterns. The need for control, fear of failure, and tendency to overanalyze can keep the brain in a heightened state of alertness long after the day ends. By exploring the connection between perfectionism and insomnia, we can uncover strategies to quiet the mind, manage expectations, and finally allow rest to feel deserved rather than earned.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Are perfectionists born or made?
Perfectionism is influenced by both genetics and environment, meaning it is neither entirely innate nor completely learned. Research suggests that certain personality traits, such as conscientiousness, high sensitivity, and attention to detail, may have a genetic basis. Children born with these traits may be more prone to perfectionistic tendencies, but genetics alone do not determine whether someone will become a perfectionist. Environment, upbringing, and life experiences play a major role in shaping how these tendencies are expressed.
Parenting style and early experiences are significant contributors to perfectionism. Children who grow up with high expectations, conditional love, or critical caregivers may internalize the belief that their worth depends on achievement. Similarly, environments that reward flawless performance or punish mistakes can reinforce the need for perfection. Even well-meaning encouragement, when overly focused on results rather than effort, can subtly teach children to equate self-worth with accomplishment. To learn more, read our blog “What Is My Parenting Style?”.
Beyond family, cultural and societal factors can shape perfectionistic tendencies. Societies that emphasize competition, status, and success can pressure individuals to strive for flawlessness. Social media amplifies this effect by presenting curated, idealized versions of life, making comparison nearly unavoidable. Over time, these external pressures can reinforce perfectionistic thinking, even in people who may not have strong innate tendencies toward it. Read our blog “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People.”
Ultimately, perfectionism is a product of both nature and nurture. Biological predispositions may make someone more sensitive to criticism or more detail-oriented while upbringing and cultural pressures shape how those traits manifest. Recognizing this interplay is empowering: it shows that perfectionistic tendencies are not fixed. With self-awareness, therapy, and intentional practice, individuals can learn to manage perfectionism, reduce its negative impact, and develop healthier attitudes toward achievement and self-worth.
Our blog “Is Perfectionism A Coping Skill?” is a must-read.
What personality types are perfectionists?
One of the most common personality traits linked to perfectionism is high conscientiousness. Conscientious individuals are organized, responsible, and diligent, often setting high standards for themselves and others. They take pride in completing tasks meticulously and strive for excellence in their work and personal lives. While conscientiousness can lead to achievement and reliability, when taken to an extreme, it can fuel perfectionistic tendencies, creating stress, overwork, and difficulty accepting mistakes or imperfections.
Perfectionism is often associated with the Type A personality, characterized by ambition, competitiveness, and a strong sense of urgency. Type A individuals are highly driven to succeed and can be self-critical when their performance falls short of expectations. Their perfectionism often manifests in goal-setting, attention to detail, and a constant push for improvement. While these traits can drive productivity, they may also contribute to anxiety, insomnia, and difficulty relaxing as the individual feels they must always achieve and perform at a high level.
Some perfectionists fall into a sensitive or high-achiever personality type, often marked by emotional depth, conscientiousness, and responsiveness to feedback. These individuals care deeply about how they are perceived and may fear criticism or rejection. They tend to internalize standards from parents, teachers, or society, and strive to meet them perfectly. While this can produce excellent results, it can also lead to overthinking, rumination, and stress when perfection is unattainable, fueling feelings of inadequacy or frustration.
Another group of perfectionists exhibits traits associated with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), not to be confused with OCD. People with these traits often have an extreme need for order, control, and precision. They may be rigid in routines, highly critical of themselves and others, and struggle to delegate tasks for fear they will not meet their standards. While this form of perfectionism can lead to structure and efficiency, it can also interfere with flexibility, creativity, and emotional well-being, causing chronic stress and strained relationships. View our blog “Why Do I Have Control Issues?”.
Do overthinkers have insomnia?
Overthinking and insomnia are closely linked, though not every overthinker experiences chronic sleep problems. People who overanalyze, replay conversations, or worry excessively about the future often find it difficult to “switch off” their minds at night. When thoughts race uncontrollably, it can delay sleep onset, reduce sleep quality, or cause frequent nighttime awakenings. This mental hyperactivity keeps the brain in a state of alertness, making it harder to enter the deep, restorative stages of sleep necessary for physical and emotional recovery.
The connection between overthinking and insomnia is largely psychological. Excessive rumination increases stress hormones like cortisol which interfere with the body’s natural circadian rhythm. Even if a person feels physically tired, their mind may remain active, preventing the relaxation needed for sleep. Overthinkers often create worst-case scenarios in their heads, amplifying anxiety and worry, which can keep them awake for hours or lead to early-morning awakenings when the mind immediately starts running again.
Overthinkers may also develop behavioral patterns that exacerbate insomnia. For example, lying in bed while mentally rehearsing the day’s events or planning for tomorrow can create a conditioned association between the bed and wakefulness. They may check their phone repeatedly, engage in late-night “problem-solving,” or consume caffeine or screen time in attempts to cope with fatigue. Over time, these habits reinforce insomnia, making it both a psychological and behavioral cycle.
The severity of insomnia in overthinkers can vary. Some may only struggle occasionally, during particularly stressful periods, while others may develop chronic insomnia that impacts mood, productivity, and overall health. Chronic sleeplessness can exacerbate overthinking, creating a feedback loop: lack of sleep impairs emotional regulation and cognitive control which makes it even harder to quiet the mind at night. Without intervention, this cycle can become self-perpetuating and emotionally draining.
Fortunately, there are ways to break the link between overthinking and insomnia. Techniques such as journaling before bed, mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and establishing a consistent sleep routine can help calm the mind. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is particularly effective in addressing the thought patterns that fuel nighttime rumination. By combining mental strategies with healthy sleep hygiene, overthinkers can gradually retrain their minds to let go of racing thoughts and reclaim restful, restorative sleep.
The link between perfectionism and insomnia
Perfectionism and insomnia are deeply interconnected, largely because perfectionists struggle to turn off the same mental patterns that help them excel during the day. Their minds are trained to evaluate, correct, predict, and improve which can be strengths in work or personal projects but become obstacles when it is time to rest. Bedtime often becomes the point when unresolved thoughts surface: mistakes replay in their minds, to-do lists multiply, and future scenarios are analyzed in detail. This mental overactivity naturally delays sleep, making it harder to unwind and transition into a relaxed state.
Another major contributor to insomnia in perfectionists is an elevated fear of failure or imperfection. Read our blog “How Do I Overcome The Fear of Failure?”.
Even small errors can feel disproportionately significant, leading to worry, rumination, or self-criticism. View our blog “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk.”
These thought loops activate the body's stress response, raising cortisol levels and increasing alertness. Instead of winding down, perfectionists often experience an internal sense of urgency, as if they need to mentally “fix” everything before they can sleep. This keeps the brain in analysis mode long after the day should have ended.
Perfectionists also tend to have very rigid routines and high expectations, even for sleep itself. They may feel frustrated if they do not fall asleep quickly, worried about how poor sleep will affect their performance the next day. Ironically, trying too hard to sleep backfires. Sleep is a biological process that happens naturally; controlling it only heightens tension and awareness. This pressure to sleep perfectly can escalate into performance anxiety around bedtime, further reinforcing insomnia. Check out our blog “3 Ways to Relieve Sleep Anxiety.”
Emotional suppression is another important factor in the link between perfectionism and insomnia. Perfectionists often strive to appear composed, capable, and in control during the day, pushing emotions aside to maintain their high standards. Nighttime becomes the only quiet moment when these unprocessed feelings (stress, disappointment, frustration, sadness) surface. This emotional backlog can fuel racing thoughts, physical restlessness, or difficulty shutting the mind down. Without healthy outlets for emotions, sleep becomes a battleground instead of a refuge. Our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions” is a must-read.
Over time, the combination of rumination, stress, and sleep pressure can create a persistent cycle of insomnia. Poor sleep affects emotional regulation, making perfectionistic tendencies even stronger the next day. This leads to more overthinking, more self-criticism, and a heightened sense of urgency which again disrupts sleep. Breaking this cycle requires both cognitive and behavioral changes, like easing standards; practicing self-compassion, establishing wind-down routines; and learning to accept imperfect nights. With intentional strategies, perfectionists can gradually quiet their minds and rebuild a healthier relationship with rest.
Counseling for Insomnia and Perfectionism
Counseling can be highly effective for people struggling with both insomnia and perfectionism because it addresses the underlying thought patterns that keep the mind in overdrive. Many perfectionists approach sleep the same way they approach goals by trying to control, optimize, or “perform” well. An insomnia counselor at Anchor Therapy can help clients understand how this mindset can backfire, keeping the brain alert instead of relaxed. Through counseling, individuals learn to recognize the beliefs that fuel their sleep issues, such as fearing mistakes, striving to meet unrealistic expectations, or tying their self-worth to productivity.
A common therapeutic approach used in counseling for insomnia is CBT-I which helps retrain both thoughts and behaviors around sleep. At the same time, counseling addresses the perfectionistic tendencies that feed anxiety and rumination at night. Techniques such as cognitive restructuring, mindfulness, and thought defusion help clients challenge the inner critic and reduce the pressure to be flawless. These methods guide perfectionists toward more flexible thinking, making it easier for the mind to settle down at bedtime.
Counseling also provides practical tools to break the cycle between perfectionism, stress, and sleep disturbance. Sleep therapists often help clients establish realistic expectations, create consistent wind-down routines, and build healthier emotional coping strategies. Over time, counseling encourages self-compassion, an essential counterbalance to perfectionism, allowing individuals to accept imperfect nights without spiraling into anxiety. As perfectionists learn to soothe their nervous system and release control, sleep naturally becomes more restorative, less pressured, and far easier to achieve.
Read our blog “Unlocking the Secrets of Quality Sleep: A Therapist’s Perspective on Sleep Hygiene and Insomnia.”
Addressing the link between insomnia and perfectionism is not just about changing habits, it is about understanding the deeper patterns that keep your mind racing long after the day ends. When you learn to ease self-imposed pressure, challenge harsh expectations, and create space for rest without judgment, sleep stops feeling like another task to accomplish and starts becoming something your body naturally welcomes. With awareness, support, and consistent practice, you can break the cycle between overthinking and exhaustion and move toward nights that feel calm, restorative, and genuinely peaceful. Your sleep does not have to be perfect, it just has to be yours.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Community Engagement Director at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark and is currently studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level.
IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR TO ASSIST YOU IN MAKING POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE, CONTACT US
WORKING WITH US IS EASY
Fill out the contact form below.
Our intake coordinator will get back to you with more information on how we can help and to schedule an appointment. We will set you up with an experienced licensed therapist who specializes in what you're seeking help with and who understands your needs.
You’ll rest easy tonight knowing you made the first step to improve your life.
