relationship counseling

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

5 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling May Be Helpful for You

5 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling May Be Helpful for You

At some point, every couple experiences conflict. From financial issues to constant bickering, there may be some cracks in your relationship. If your relationship is hitting a bump in the road, there is no reason to panic. In many instances, you may be able to fix these issues on your own. However, there may be a time when you feel that your problems get out of control and become hard to manage. In these situations, marriage counseling, also known as couples counseling, can be extremely helpful.

While couples counseling may only be seen as a resource for relationships in crisis, that is not always the case. In fact, many couples who are not experiencing any major issues find couples therapy to be helpful. They view therapy as a chance to get closer to their partner and get to know their loved one better. Marriage counseling provides couples with tools for healthier, more effective communication.

While falling in love can be an exciting and happy time, sustaining a marriage may have its obstacles. Whether the issues revolve around your partner working late nights or the stress of parenthood, many difficulties can occur in any relationship.

Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship

Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship

A crucial component of a healthy relationship is understanding how to express love to your significant other. Getting to know your partner may take some time. The more time you spend with them, the more you understand their personality, likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Even though you may know your partner well, it may still be difficult to find a meaningful method of communication that your partner resonates with, understands, and fulfills their emotional needs. Therefore, Dr. Gary Chapman, an American author, radio talk show host, and marriage therapist, devised the five love languages.

As a marriage counselor, Dr. Chapman worked with many couples throughout the years and, in the 1990s, he identified a trend amongst all of the couples’ arguments. During marriage counseling, many couples would express that they were trying their best, but their compliments, gifts, and/or gestures were going unnoticed. The other partner did not even notice the acts that they were supposed to be grateful for. Instead, they were hoping that their partner would do something that they could recognize and appreciate. Dr. Chapman realized that these breaks in communication and affection were rooted in different definitions of love.

Dr. Chapman found five distinct ways that people receive and showcase love. Generally, people have one to two languages that they prefer.

The five love languages are as follows:

  1. Quality Time

  2. Acts of Service

  3. Words of Affirmation

  4. Gift Giving

  5. Physical Touch

4 Ways to Repair A Relationship After Infidelity

4 Ways to Repair A Relationship After Infidelity

While infidelity is a big obstacle in a relationship, it can also be seen as an opportunity for positive growth and change. Infidelity does not mean that your relationship is over. Luckily, there are many ways to heal and construct a healthy relationship once again.

Trust is a crucial part of any relationship. Trust can be broken in many ways, from minor mishaps to big mistakes. Unfortunately, cheating can break a bond and your level of confidence in your relationship. Infidelity is not always like what we see in the movies and television shows. In other words, it is not always what we think. Many times, infidelity occurs due to a lack of emotional connection, not a lack of attraction.

The 5 Major Causes for Divorce and How to Avoid Them

The 5 Major Causes for Divorce and How to Avoid Them

You may feel as if your relationship has recently become a raw nerve. Every little thing is hitting that nerve and triggering an argument. You and your partner can not seem to get through a day without fighting. It feels absolutely exhausting. It may seem like there is no other option but to take time apart. You find you are walking on eggshells in fear of triggering the next disagreement. You both are growing further apart from one another.

Don’t lose hope yet- there may be a way to heal this raw nerve and decrease the frequency and intensity of arguments. Seeking out couples counseling and better understanding the risks for divorce can help you significantly shift the dynamics that have been occurring in your marriage. Identifying the common communication errors and working on minimizing them will make a positive change in how you relate to one another.

How To Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships

How To Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships

The word “boundaries” gets thrown around often. What even are boundaries? Simply put, boundaries are guidelines or limits that send others a clear message. Boundaries are important for establishing a healthy relationship. Some of your current relationships may be lacking some boundaries at this time. It is not impossible to establish new boundaries, however it will take work, determination, and respect. Creating boundaries with family and friends can be very difficult. You have had a certain relationship with these individuals for months or years, and making changes in relationships is not a simple task.

5 Ways Marriage Counseling Can Get You Back on Track After Having a Baby

5 Ways Marriage Counseling Can Get You Back on Track After Having a Baby

Having a baby is an exciting, scary, and all-consuming time in the lives of any couple growing their family. As a marriage counselor, it’s important to recognize that a new baby also brings a new set of challenges. If you start to feel like your marriage has taken a back seat to everything else life is throwing at you, it may be time to consider asking for help to get back on track.

Where there was once time for your partner and your own personal time, the schedule may now be packed with feedings, diaper changes, chores, and what seems to be an endless to-do list. When every moment of the day has to be scheduled and you add a global pandemic to the equation, connecting with your partner could unknowingly fall to the bottom of the priority list.

The Anxiety and Uncertainty of Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic

The Anxiety and Uncertainty of Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has left many Brides with feelings of uncertainty. If you are planning a wedding during this pandemic, those moments of uncertainty are likely magnified with feelings of anxiety, fear, and frustration. So many Brides and couples planning weddings right now are struggling to manage the planning process. As a psychotherapist, I can give you some tools that can be used to help you cope with the stress of planning.

How Defenses Get In The Way Of Healthy Communication In Relationships

How Defenses Get In The Way Of Healthy Communication In Relationships

When it comes to communicating as a couple, you may find that you or your partner’s defense mechanisms are getting in the way of healthy communication. This may lead to what feels like constant fighting and a fractured relationship. Defense mechanisms in a relationship can be really dangerous. This often looks like yelling, giving the silent treatment, eye rolling, making excuses, justifying behavior, or being sarcastic. These reactions will arise when you are in a conflict in your relationship and you begin to feel hurt, sad, or angry and your self-esteem is being threatened. These cycles can leave you feeling helpless; however, healthy communication is absolutely possible. By changing your subconscious cues, you can begin to break the cycle of fighting and create healthier communication.

Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

At Anchor Therapy, located in Hoboken, NJ, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York.

How To Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

How To Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

Your pre-teen and teenage years are filled with time of exploring the world and how you fit in it. Identity becomes a huge topic of exploration for most teens. Your teen may be contemplating anything from as simple as their future career goals up to their gender identity or sexual orientation. This is typically a time that you may find your teen to come out to you by identifying as being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. As a parent, no matter how accepting you are, this may come as a surprise to you and it may take some time to process. Once you have processed this new information, you can then take some extra steps to support your teen as they navigate their new identity and grow into an adult.

Tips and Tools to Improve Communication with your Partner through COVID-19

Tips and Tools to Improve Communication with your Partner through COVID-19

When it comes to improving communication in a relationship, it takes more than just talking more to your partner. It is the way you speak, what you say, what they hear, and much more. As previously discussed, healthy and meaningful communication is built in many ways. One of the biggest issues that couples come across when communicating is oversimplifying it to the belief that one person talks and the other listens. Sure, in some way this is true, but communicating is an active skill and both the speaker and person listening need to be engaged and attuned.

Communicating with Your Partner through COVID-19

Communicating with Your Partner through COVID-19

As a couple’s therapist, the most common issue I see among couples is a breakdown in communication. This does not mean that they are unable to communicate, but that their communication no longer makes them feel connected. In a relationship, we all want to feel heard, seen, and understood. This often gets lost in translation, and is even more difficult to repair under the current circumstance. While many are spending more time than ever together during the pandemic, healthy and effective communication can take a back seat to external stressors. It can be hard not to get caught up in talking about the basics: work, kids, to-do lists and so on. If you are looking to improve communication with your partner, you may need to challenge yourself to do something different and outside of your comfort zone. A strong and fulfilling relationship needs a strong foundation, and that foundation is almost always built on healthy communication. In this first blog of a two-part blog series, I will discuss two key types of communication that couples have and the common problems that may arise for each.

9 Normal Human Responses To A Global Pandemic

9 Normal Human Responses To A Global Pandemic

After 2 months of experiencing stay-at-home orders, you may start to find yourself feeling not your normal self. A lot of people feel alone in how they are experiencing the impact of the global pandemic of the spread of COVID-19. While everyone does have a different life experience, we are all experiencing this trauma together. This is an event that is different than anything we have ever gone through before since it is an ongoing situation that is impacting everyone drastically. You may have experienced a loss in your job, a loved one, or you are isolated from others. Parents have become home school teachers while trying to continue to maintain their own jobs if possible. This is a time to survive and not to thrive. It is okay to not feel your best self or your most productive right now. Below are some things that you may feel during this pandemic that are completely normal to experience at this time and some ways how to help yourself.

11 Tips To Working From Home If You Have Anxiety or Depression

11 Tips To Working From Home If You Have Anxiety or Depression

Millions of people experience anxiety and/or depression in their lifetime. Due to the spread of COVID-19, we have been physically isolated from others. This has caused a spike in mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. In addition to these increasing symptoms of anxiety and depression, you are expected to work your full-time job from home (if you are lucky enough that your job allows you to make this transition). It has become difficult to manage your mental health along with this major adjustment of working from home. Below I will go through realistic tips on how you can manage working from home if you are also experiencing any level of anxiety and/or depression.

Tips for Parenting During a Pandemic

Tips for Parenting During a Pandemic

As we enter week 6 of the COVID-19 quarantine in Hoboken, New Jersey, I have noticed how difficult and defeating this time has been for parents. The challenges of parenting during this pandemic can seem endless and insurmountable. Many parents are trying to balance the stress of work, full time care of their children, teaching their children, their own well-being, and mental health with none of the support they once relied upon. Exhausted and overwhelmed, these daily struggles start to build up and make us feel like the light at the end of the tunnel has dimmed or disappeared altogether. With so much uncertainty about the future of the world and your family, anxiety and fear are at an all-time high. This level of pressure combined with the collective unease of society makes it extremely difficult to handle day to day stressors with the same degree of self-control that many feel they once had.

How Couples Are Taking Advantage of Telehealth Counseling during COVID-19

How Couples Are Taking Advantage of Telehealth Counseling during COVID-19

Telehealth has always been a useful tool to provide therapy services to many individuals over the years. It allows those who would otherwise be unable to attend regular sessions access even if their life and schedule make it difficult. During this pandemic of the spread of COVID-19, couples are able to take advantage of this time to start couples counseling and work on their relationship through telehealth sessions. Many are wondering how telehealth works when it comes to couples counseling. As a couples counselor, I have been providing these services through telehealth for years and have found it to be equally effective as in-person sessions. I hope to answer some questions and concerns while also reassuring anyone interested in telehealth during this time of isolation that you can get help regardless of circumstance.

How To Practice Self-Care During COVID-19 Isolation

How To Practice Self-Care During COVID-19 Isolation

Hoboken, along with the states of New Jersey and New York, has been doing a great job in taking the lead in the country with rules around self-isolation and staying at home. However, this self-isolation is going to have a huge impact on everyone’s mental health as it is projected to continue longer than one month. It is important to look out for signs of depression, anxiety, increased disordered eating behaviors, OCD, and substance abuse at this time. Please remember that you are doing Hoboken, or your community, an amazing service by staying inside. But as you practice this self-isolation, you will most likely see a decline in your mental health. It is really important to take care of your mental health (more than ever!) during this time. Below are some ways in which you can do just that.

All You Need To Know About Telehealth Mental Health Therapy Services

All You Need To Know About Telehealth Mental Health Therapy Services

Due to the spread of the covid-19 virus, we have transitioned to telehealth sessions only until it is safe to go back to in-person sessions. most mental health professionals and other businesses are making the shift to work from home to stop the spread of the coronavirus. luckily mental health has always been effective through telehealth sessions. research actually shows that telehealth sessions are just as beneficial as in-person sessions. at anchor therapy, we want to help flatten the curve as much as possible so that our hospitals hopefully do not get overrun. below is all the information you need to know about telehealth for mental health therapy sessions.

How To Re-Ignite The Fire In Your Relationship

How To Re-Ignite The Fire In Your Relationship

Most will remember the feelings of excitement, butterflies, and attraction when they first fall in love with their significant other. In the beginning, everything feels like an adventure when you’re falling in love. The question is how to maintain that spark after years of commitment. Passion at the beginning of a relationship serves a very important purpose, to help you connect, learn about each other, and keep you craving more and more time together. If you notice that over time the intensity you once felt has dimmed, you are not alone!