Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
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What We Learned About Family Dynamics From Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia

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What We Learned About Family Dynamics From Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia

Every family has their own unique way of living and interacting with one another. Certain circumstances can switch up family dynamics, such as a family member going through a struggle or a change in financial status. The way families are created and composed varies and the types of families we see are always changing. 

No matter the type of family, communication is key to establishing a healthy relationship. Sometimes this communication can come naturally while other times families may need some help from an outside source and possibly choose to attend marriage and family therapy. One television show that exhibits family dynamics is the Netflix hit Ginny & Georgia.

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What We Learned About Mental Health From Harry & Meghan

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What We Learned About Mental Health From Harry & Meghan

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle released their docu series on Netflix, Harry & Meghan, which detailed their high-profile love story. The series starts from the very beginning of their relationship to the institutional challenges that the couple endured and continues to face in the public eye. Most importantly, this documentary reveals some stunning mental health revelations. 
Mental health impacts everyone regardless of gender, race, and socioeconomic status, and Harry & Meghan certainly sheds light on this fact. The docu series highlights Meghan Markle’s battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. It even draws strong parallels between the royal life of Meghan Markle and Princess Diana of Wales, Prince Harry’s mother.

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What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)?

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What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally-focused therapy, often simply referred to as EFT, is a type of short-term therapy. This form of therapy focuses on couples, resparking a pair’s physical and emotional bond. EFT is a well-known therapeutic method that takes a humanistic approach. This psychotherapy approach was birthed in the 1980s and draws heavily on adult attachment theory.

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What You Didn’t Know About Blending Families

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What You Didn’t Know About Blending Families

Blended families can face many bumps in the road. Perhaps your family unit is dealing with a particularly challenging sibling rivalry or you are working to build a strong relationship with your step-children. Luckily, when you plan ahead and get the proper support you and your family needs, you can make sure that the transition goes more smoothly. Helpful family management strategies, including setting house rules and opening all lines of communication, are some ways to construct a warm and welcoming family. 

In some cases, it may feel like you are doing everything right but you and your family are still struggling. Please know that this is completely okay. Building your family is a major life transition and struggles are bound to arrive, but you deal with them can determine your success. You may feel like family counseling is the best next step for your family. If you need additional help navigating this major change in your life, check out our blog: “The Best Ways To Cope With Life Transitions.”

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Is Premarital Counseling for Me?

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Is Premarital Counseling for Me?

If you are engaged, you may be questioning if premarital counseling is worth it. Maybe you are simply thinking of getting engaged or a bit farther down the road, already booking a venue and inviting your friends and family to share your special day with you. Whatever the case is for you, you have undoubtedly invested a lot into your proposal and/or wedding, including your time, money, and energy. It is easy to primarily focus on the ideal proposal or ceremony while overlooking the amount of work it takes to create an ideal partnership. 

In preparation for a wedding, there are many tasks to complete, and it may seem like your to-do list is never-ending. While you are caught up in the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, do not forget the most important thing- building a secure foundation to build upon with your partner. Your wedding is an amazing and life-changing moment in your life, but it is one day. It will come and go while your relationship will last a lifetime. Premarital counseling will give you and your partner the chance to come together and prepare for the life and family you will be creating together.

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How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

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How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

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How You Are Gaslighting Yourself

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How You Are Gaslighting Yourself

When we think of gaslighting, we often think about it in the context of other people. You may think of a narcissist or someone in a position of power gaslighting someone, but did you ever think of how you can gaslight yourself? Self-gaslighting is real. It is a manipulation tactic that makes you question your understanding of your own reality.

Self-gaslighting is a result of internalized doubt coupled with a disapproving external voice. It leads you to question the world around you and dismiss your feelings. If you want to learn about why you gaslight yourself, keep reading this blog!

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How To Know If You're A People-Pleaser And The Psychology Behind It

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How To Know If You're A People-Pleaser And The Psychology Behind It

People-pleasers are known to do whatever necessary to avoid conflict and confrontation. Being kind and helpful is a generally good thing; however, there are some cases where it can be taken too far. This can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, stress, and anxiety-ridden. At the expense of your mental health, you may place other people’s needs above yours.

Additionally, as a people-pleaser, your constant need for approval and acceptance can create a specific type of vulnerability. For example, your people-pleasing behaviors may cause you to self-sabotage for several reasons. You may feel a compulsion to act selflessly, but it can be self-destructive if it is taken to an extreme end of the spectrum.

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8 Best Jobs For People With Social Anxiety

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8 Best Jobs For People With Social Anxiety

When you have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), it can be difficult to find a job that you like, let alone a job you excel at. It can seem like almost every job available requires you to closely interact with others on a daily basis. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with social anxiety, the last thing you want to do is work hand-in-hand with other people. But, find peace in knowing that there are jobs out there that are perfect for people with social anxiety!

The best job for someone living with SAD is a job that lets you pursue your dreams and expand your skills while not risking your mental wellbeing. Some of these jobs may include working with a few people instead of overwhelmingly large groups. On the other hand, if you have social anxiety and are looking to challenge yourself, you may find it more beneficial to take a job that pushes you outside of your comfort zone.

Before we dive into the best jobs for people with social anxiety, let us talk about what social anxiety exactly is…

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Selena Gomez’s Raw Honesty With Mental Health: My Mind and Me Documentary

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Selena Gomez’s Raw Honesty With Mental Health: My Mind and Me Documentary

Spoilers ahead if you have not watched Selena Gomez’s documentary, “My Mind and Me” yet!

Selena Gomez’s much-anticipated documentary, entitled My Mind and Me, hit Apple TV on November 2nd, 2022. The documentary follows Selena Gomez, an American singer, actress, producer, and philanthropist, after years of growing up and living life in the public eye. Gomez began acting as a child in Barney & Friends. Soon after, she blossomed into a full-blown star, landing a hit tv show on the Disney channel and becoming one of the most-followed celebrities. However, with all of this success also came its fair share of challenges. Specifically, mental health challenges.

My Mind and Me offers a raw glimpse into the life of Gomez over a six year period. While Gomez has spent much of her life in the spotlight, she largely remains a very private person. The public may know details about Gomez from her famous social relationships, like her friendship with Taylor Swift and previous relationship with Justin Bieber, but we do not know much about Gomez’s personality, let alone her mental health struggles.

After watching My Mind and Me, there are many important lessons we can take away from the documentary.
Gomez opens up the documentary with a pledge, “Let me make a promise. I’ll only tell you my darkest secrets.” This statement holds true for the entirety of the film. Gomez showed an undeniable amount of vulnerability throughout the documentary, encompassing detailing her struggles with Bipolar Disorder to her health battles with the autoimmune disease lupus. Gomez’s level of honesty and bravery is an inspiration to people everywhere.

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Why You’re Depressed Around Your Period: All About PMDD

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Why You’re Depressed Around Your Period: All About PMDD

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a health problem that affects millions of teen and adult women. It is similar to Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), but PMDD is more serious. PMDD has many serious health consequences, including irritability, depression, and anxiety. These symptoms typically occur one to two weeks before your period starts and start wearing off two to three days after your period starts.

PMDD is often referred to as “severe PMS” since it causes a range of emotional and physical symptoms. Many women experience symptoms of PMS. You may even have severe PMS symptoms, and simply acknowledge them as “normal” since you do not know how else to feel. With PMDD, the symptoms are harsh and it can have a great impact on your life. It can be difficult to work, go to school, socialize with other people, and form healthy connections. If you think you may be struggling with PMDD, continue to read this blog.

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How Counseling Can Help You Break OCD Habits

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How Counseling Can Help You Break OCD Habits

If you struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you may feel like you are living in a vicious cycle of thoughts, feelings, and rituals. One helpful way to try to stop the cycle is to break OCD habits by changing or delaying your rituals. Unfortunately, breaking OCD habits on your own can be extremely hard. Therefore, an OCD therapist can help assist you in this process.

For example, let us say that you have an unpleasant thought that randomly “pops” into your head. This uncomfortable thought could be something like shouting something inappropriately in public. If you fasten unhelpful meanings to a thought (e.g., in our specific example, you could be thinking “I am someone who is not socially graceful”), that will only lead to more anxiety. When you get anxious, you may begin to look for any methods to tame your spiraling thoughts.

When you have OCD, the ways in which you attempt to lessen your anxiety may vary. For instance, you may obsessively check in with your friends and family to ensure that you do not lose your social connections and that, in fact, you are socially graceful. You may feel the need to check in on your loved ones a set number of times throughout each day or at specific times. Thus, it is the continuous cycle of OCD.

While these strategies can help in the short-term to lessen anxiety, you will only need to do them more and more often because your “bad” thoughts appear more frequently when you try to push them away. This can easily lead to you feeling trapped because you do not know what to do if you do not use some sort of coping skills or strategies. Your life can begin to feel controlled by your “bad” thoughts and your constant need to control them.

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How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving

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How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving

When a loved one loses someone important in their life, it does not just disrupt their day-to-day activities, but it changes their life forever. When someone you love experiences the death of a loved one, especially a sudden and unexpected passing, it is difficult to know how to offer support and comfort. You may not know what to say and you may even be afraid to say the wrong thing.

This can particularly be the case if you have not experienced the loss of a person before. You may not know how to relate to the other person since you never experienced those emotions. The truth is that, even if you have experienced feelings of grief, it is still hard to know how to console a relative or friend who is grieving. Even if it seems like nothing you can say or do will help the situation, do not stop offering your support and condolences. Accept that you cannot fix the situation, and focus on the present.

Grief is a gradual process. All you can do is be there as a pillar of support for your friend or relative, and hold a positive attitude about the future. Something as small as sending flowers, delivering a meal, or helping out your loved one with household tasks can be an immense source of help.

No matter what, try to be flexible and open to your loved one’s method of grieving. Grieving looks different for everyone. For example, if a friend loses a person who they had a close relationship with, but you want to continue your weekend tradition of getting brunch, still extend the invitation to your friend. Be prepared for your friend to say “no” and be accepting of their choice, but simply offering them that sense of support and “normalcy” during a chaotic time can be helpful. If your friend declines the offer, that is okay. You can check in on them the next day.

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4 Ways To Cope With A Panic Disorder

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4 Ways To Cope With A Panic Disorder

Some people experience panic attacks once or twice during their life, but others experience them constantly and more abruptly. Nobody likes to have panic attacks, and having them non-stop can take a toll on you. Panic disorders are exhausting and scary. A panic disorder is basically an ongoing case of unpredictable, intense panic attacks. The mental and physical symptoms can be so intense that seeking outside help, like the assistance of a panic disorder therapist near you, can be a great way to help you get the support you need.


Despite your best efforts to convince yourself that you are okay, panic attacks can still occur. While there is no universal magic cure to panic attacks, there are effective methods that you can learn to help manage your symptoms. This blog will give you a deeper understanding of panic attacks and panic disorder and what you can do to overcome and cope with them.

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

We’ve all heard it before- social media seriously impacts your mental health. But how does it do so? The constant news can be conflicting. Some reports claim that social media can be an amazing tool for networking and connection, bringing people together like never before. On the other hand, other sources tell us of the detrimental impact social media can have on our mental health, advocating for temporarily disabling your social media accounts and limiting screen time.

Human beings are social creatures. We need connection to other people to thrive and grow to our fullest potential. The strength of those relationships can have a big impact on your happiness and overall mental health.

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Is Art Therapy Actually Effective?

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Is Art Therapy Actually Effective?

How can painting or coloring really provide insight into your mental health? Is a drawing you created actually representative of your mental state? Is sculpting truly a form of self-expression? If you have ever asked yourself any of these questions or simply wondered if art therapy is for you, continue reading this blog for more information!


Art is merely more than an outlet for your creativity. At its core, it is a channel for self-expression and understanding. In art therapy, your licensed art therapist will teach you how to unveil your artwork to discover deeper messages and symbols. By examining the psychological method behind your creations, an art therapist near you assists you in identifying your concealed feelings. Contrary to the belief of some people, art therapy is a proven, effective method for mental health issues and it can help you reveal different aspects of your own identity.

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How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

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How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

When you become a parent, it can quickly become the main component of your identity. You may lose yourself while taking care of your children while balancing work and other life responsibilities at the same time. Many parents often regard parenthood as one of the most challenging yet meaningful things they will ever do.

As the saying goes, the days are long but the years go by fast. One day you may be potty training and, then you blink, and you are getting ready to send your teen away to college. For at least 18 years, your life has revolved around your child. You may have been in charge of carpools, making sure that your child gets to all of their extracurricular activities in a timely manner, or having to guide them with homework or additional school projects. Then, when your teen leaves for college or to the workforce, your day-to-day life instantly changes.

If you are going through this, please know that it is normal to feel loss or uncertainty when your child leaves. This may be an only child or your youngest. Whatever the case, your feelings are valid. The main objective of parenting is to raise a healthy young adult who can live life independent of you. While your child is taking on a major life transition, moving out of their childhood home or going to college, you should take pride in the fact that you did the best you could and your child will be okay. Even if you acknowledge the hard work and effort you put into parenting, you may still be struggling. This may be what we commonly refer to as empty nest syndrome.

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

Most people know about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as shell shock. You may be experiencing debilitating nightmares or find yourself being over-reactive. PTSD is commonly attributed to the military community. While PTSD in veterans is a common occurrence, you do not have to be in the service to have PTSD.

PTSD symptoms can impact anyone. PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder that occurs after a deeply scary or intimidating event. You do not even have to be directly involved in the event for you to experience PTSD. That is to say, the pure shock of the event can be so large that you have a difficult time living a normal life.

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How Therapy Can Alleviate Mom Guilt

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How Therapy Can Alleviate Mom Guilt

When you think of your children, do automatic thoughts of guilt come to mind? Maybe you blame yourself for your child getting their cold. Maybe you are filled with a sense of wrongdoing after having to work extra shifts to pay the bills.

You may have a little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you are not enough. No matter what you do or how much you sacrifice, you could always be doing more and doing things in a more efficient manner. When you feel this way, it is important to remember that you are not alone, and you do not need to feed into your mom guilt.

Overcoming mom guilt is a unique journey since it looks different to everyone. For example, you may find that unfollowing “supermoms” on Instagram does wonders for your mental health. On the other hand, you may take a different approach. For instance, you may need to reframe your thoughts on what it takes to be a good mom in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

Though many people love the fall, for some, the shorter days and less light prompts the re-emergence of their Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or what's more commonly referred to as “seasonal depression”. SAD is usually triggered by the changing of the seasons, typically hitting an individual at around the same time each year.

It varies from person to person on which seasons cause the change in their mood but typically it either affects an individual during the spring and summer, or fall and winter. In this case, we will be discussing how to fight back against the days getting shorter and the sunlight disappearing faster as the winter form is the most prevalent type of SAD.

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