boundaries, self-esteem, Narcissistic Abuse, family counseling, Childhood trauma
Courtney Glashow
Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When ...

Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.

Family Scapegoat Signs and What to Do When Someone Is Using You as a Scapegoat
toxic relationships, Narcissistic Abuse, breakup therapy, Trust Issues, trauma counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Recover From Love Bombing

Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.

How to Recover From Love Bombing
Couples counseling, toxic relationships, Trust Issues, Hoboken NJ therapist, Narcissistic Abuse
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
Couples counseling, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, Intimacy therapy, lgbtqia support
Courtney Glashow
Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. ...

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

Couples Therapy Show: Where Are They Now? Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples on Showtime
relationship counseling, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

self-compassion

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Narcissistic Traits vs NPD: How to Tell Where the Line Is

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Narcissistic Traits vs NPD: How to Tell Where the Line Is

Someone in your life is difficult, self-centered, hard to reason with. You've called them a narcissist more than once, probably out loud, probably to a friend who nodded along immediately. But somewhere in the back of your mind, a real question is sitting there: is that actually true, or is it just the word everyone reaches for now.

Narcissistic tendencies are traits like self-focus, a need for admiration, or difficulty with empathy that show up occasionally or in certain situations, without meeting the bar for an actual diagnosis. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, is a specific, diagnosable condition where those same traits are pervasive, rigid, and present across nearly every context and relationship. Almost everyone has narcissistic tendencies sometimes, and very few people actually have NPD. This post covers what separates the two, how to tell which one you might be dealing with, and why the distinction matters more than it might seem.

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Sunday Scaries Meaning: What Your Dread Might Say About Your Job

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Sunday Scaries Meaning: What Your Dread Might Say About Your Job

It's 4:00 pm on Sunday and something in your chest just dropped. Nothing happened, no email came in, no calendar reminder went off. You were just sitting there, and then suddenly you weren't relaxed anymore. If this happens to you almost every week, you've probably already looked up what it's called.

If you're wondering about the Sunday scaries meaning, here it is in plain terms: the Sunday scaries are the anticipatory dread and anxiety that show up on Sunday afternoon or evening as the work week gets closer. Most explanations stop there and treat it like a harmless quirk everyone gets, and sometimes that's exactly what it is. Other times, your Sunday scaries are pointing at something bigger, like real dissatisfaction with your job. This post covers what the Sunday scaries mean, how to tell which version you're dealing with, and what to do once you know.

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Somatic OCD and the Exhausting Loop of Noticing Everything

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Somatic OCD and the Exhausting Loop of Noticing Everything

You notice yourself blinking. Now you can't stop noticing yourself blinking. An hour later you're still aware of every single blink, every swallow, the way your tongue sits in your mouth. You're not sick, nothing is actually wrong with your body, but you can't get your attention to let go of it either.

Somatic OCD is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where you become fixated on a normal, automatic body process, like breathing, blinking, or swallowing, and can't stop monitoring it once it's caught your attention. The sensation itself isn't dangerous, what's distressing is the awareness, the sense that you're now trapped noticing something you used to do without thinking at all. If you've ever gotten stuck on your own breathing or heartbeat for hours and wondered if something was seriously wrong with you, you're not broken, and you're not alone. This post covers what somatic OCD actually is, how it's connected to sensorimotor and hyperawareness OCD, and what actually helps you stop feeding the loop.

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Friendship Jealousy: Why a Close Friend Can't Just Be Happy for You

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Friendship Jealousy: Why a Close Friend Can't Just Be Happy for You

You tell your friend about the promotion, and there's a half-second pause before "oh, that's great" comes out. Then somehow, within two minutes, she's telling you about the raise she's up for, the one that's actually a bigger deal than yours. You leave lunch feeling like you did something wrong by having good news in the first place, and you can't quite explain why the whole conversation felt off.

A competitive friend is someone who treats your life as something to measure against their own, so your wins land as a threat instead of something to celebrate with you. It's rarely loud or obvious, showing up instead as a pause before the congratulations, a story that tops yours, or a compliment with a small hook in it. If you've ever felt smaller after telling a friend something good, you're not imagining it, and you're not being dramatic about it. This post covers what a competitive friend actually looks like, why it stings more from someone close to you than a stranger, and what you can do about it.

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Enmeshed Family: What It's Like to Date Someone Who Grew Up in One

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Enmeshed Family: What It's Like to Date Someone Who Grew Up in One

Your partner's mom calls every single day, sometimes twice. Every plan you make together gets run past her first, even small ones, even ones that have nothing to do with her. You've started to notice you're not quite sure where your partner's opinion ends and their mother's begins. You love this person, but you also can't shake the feeling that you're dating two people instead of one.

An enmeshed family is one where the boundaries between family members are blurred or missing entirely, so individual identity, decisions, and emotions get absorbed into the family as a whole instead of staying separate. When you date someone from a family like this, you're not just dating them. You're dating a whole system that doesn't always leave room for you. This post covers what enmeshment actually is, how to spot it early, and what it takes to build a relationship that can hold both your partner and their family without losing you in the process.

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What Emotional Contagion Looks Like in a Family

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What Emotional Contagion Looks Like in a Family

You walk into your parents' house feeling completely fine. Twenty minutes later, before anyone has said anything specific, your shoulders are up around your ears and you're bracing for something. Nothing really happened. You just walked into the room your mom was already tense in, and now you're tense too.

Emotional contagion is the process of automatically catching another person's emotional state through their tone, expression, and body language, often without either person realizing it's happening. In families, it usually flows in one direction: one person's mood sets the emotional temperature for everyone else in the house. If you've ever felt your own calm evaporate the second a certain family member walked in, you're not imagining it, and you're not overreacting. This post covers what emotional contagion actually is, why it shows up so strongly in families, and how to stop absorbing a mood that was never yours to carry.

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Anxiety vs Intuition and How to Tell Which One You're Feeling

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Anxiety vs Intuition and How to Tell Which One You're Feeling

You're about to send the text, take the job, or walk into the date, and your stomach drops without warning. Is that your gut telling you something's wrong, or is that just anxiety doing what anxiety does? You've probably asked yourself some version of this question more than once, usually at the exact moment you needed a clear answer the most.

Anxiety vs intuition is a real, meaningful distinction, not just a semantic one. Anxiety is a stress response built to warn you about threats, whether or not a real threat exists, while intuition is a fast, often accurate read on a situation built from pattern recognition and bodily signals you're not consciously tracking. If you searched for this because you've made decisions from fear before and regretted it, or ignored a real gut sense and wished you hadn't, you're asking the right question. This post walks through what's actually happening in your body during each one, what the research says about telling them apart, and how to make a call in the moment instead of overanalyzing it for hours on end.

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How Scrupulosity OCD Turns Your Conscience Into a Compulsion

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How Scrupulosity OCD Turns Your Conscience Into a Compulsion

Someone double-checks a text message for the fifth time, not because they're unsure what it says, but because they're terrified it might have sounded rude. Someone else prays the same sentence over and over, convinced that if they don't get the wording exactly right, it doesn't count. They're not being extra careful or having an off week. What they're both describing is something a lot of people quietly live with for years before anyone puts a name to it.

Scrupulosity OCD is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder built around religious or moral obsessions, the fear that you've sinned, offended a higher power, or secretly become a bad person. It's often mistaken for being unusually devout or unusually ethical, which is part of why it goes undiagnosed for so long. In this post, we'll look at what scrupulosity OCD actually involves, how thought-action fusion fuels it, why trying harder to be good can make it worse, and what treatment actually looks like.

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What Is Post-Traumatic Growth? And What It Isn't

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What Is Post-Traumatic Growth? And What It Isn't

Someone survives a serious illness. Later, they say they don't regret it, not because the illness was good, but because of who they became afterward. A person leaves an abusive relationship, and years later, describes a level of self-trust they never had before. Neither of them is pretending that the hard part didn't happen.

Both are describing something real that a lot of therapists see after trauma. It has a name: post-traumatic growth which is positive psychological change that can develop after someone struggles with a highly stressful or traumatic event. It's a real, researched concept, first described by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the mid-1990s. In this post, we'll look at what post-traumatic growth actually is, the stages people tend to move through, how it differs from resilience, and why it's not the same as pretending trauma was a good thing.

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