You hit every deadline this week. You made it to Saturday’s soccer game, answered the late emails, and nobody at work would guess how many nights end with a bottle of wine you meant to stop halfway through. From the outside, life looks fine. So when the thought “Do I drink too much?” shows up, it’s easy to push it aside because you’re handling everything.
If you’ve typed “what is a high functioning alcoholic” into a search bar at 1 a.m., that question deserves a clear answer. A high functioning alcoholic is someone who meets the criteria for alcohol use disorder while still keeping up with work, family, and daily life. That’s why the drinking can stay hidden from the people around you, and often from yourself. Below, we’ll walk through the signs, why this pattern is so easy to miss, what tends to happen over time, and how therapy helps you or someone you love.
Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.
Love bombing can leave you doubting everything you felt. Here's how to recover from love bombing, why it hits so hard, and the steps that help you heal and trust yourself again.
You're walking on eggshells in your own home. Conversations that should be simple turn into something you have to brace yourself for, and the moment you push back on anything, the script flips and somehow you're the bad one. You've started Googling words like "narcissist" and "manipulation" at 11pm because you don't know what to call what's happening, but you know something is wrong. You searched for how to deal with a narcissist, and you landed here. This post walks through what actually counts as narcissistic behavior versus everyday self-centeredness, what to watch for in your own relationship, and 8 specific strategies our therapists at Anchor Therapy use with clients who can't, or aren't ready to, leave the relationship.
The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.
As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.
If you have said or done something at one point in your life and regretted it, you may have done it in the heat of a moment where your emotions got the best of you. A big part of self-regulation is being able to think before you act.
While the roots of emotional regulation are in childhood, emotional self-regulation is thought to get easier as you age into your teenage years and, eventually, adulthood. Keep reading to find out tips for self-regulation.
If you have sleep anxiety, you know how daunting bedtime can be. The constant tossing and turning. Feeling like you have a million things on your mind. Remembering those pesky tasks that you forgot to do throughout the day. No matter what you do, you can never seem to get comfortable and fully shut your mind off.
Anxiety can help the body stay alert and focused, but there are situations where you have an anxious reaction to a seemingly normal life event, like sleeping. Anxiety with racing thoughts and physical symptoms can make it difficult to sleep. Anxiety in and of itself is a temporary experience but consistent anxiety symptoms can fully develop into an anxiety disorder. Luckily, you can learn about the causes of your nighttime anxiety and techniques on how to lessen your anxiety at night by working with a sleep therapist at Anchor Therapy.
Fear of crime on public transportation is a big concern in a lot of cities throughout the United States and, as Hoboken and Jersey City commuters understand, New York City is no exception to this phenomenon. With constant news coverage highlighting the fear-inducing stories of physical violence occurring in the city, anxiety and stress levels naturally spike.
When you are on-edge, it may feel like every little thing is enhancing your anxiety from the screech of the train on the tracks to the sea of faces you see passing you by. There are many intricacies of train and subway anxiety that a Hoboken or Jersey City commuter can experience on their journey into New York City. Continue reading this blog to learn about the contributing factors of public transportation anxiety and how to apply practical strategies to navigate your anxiety concerns with strength!
While abandonment is a very real and prevalent topic in many people’s lives,it may seem like the abandonment wound goes under the radar in the world of mental health. Abandonment is not necessarily a diagnosable mental health disorder, but that does not mean that abandonment does not cause mental health concerns. In fact, abandonment can trigger a fear or anxiety of the people who are the closest to you, leaving you.
Struggling with abandonment issues can trigger additional worries in your life, such as the inability to form meaningful relationships with other people. There are many causes of abandonment, from lack of closeness with a parental figure to inconsistent emotional support. Early childhood experiences are one of the largest contributors to developing abandonment problems as an adult.
Let us face the truth of the matter- sometimes standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself all of these really wonderful things when it does not match how you are feeling inside seems pointless. There is an obvious disconnect in the moment; however, affirmations do promote self-confidence over an extended period of time and usage. For more information, read “5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence.”
Affirmations are an effective way to manage and alter any unhelpful and/or negative thoughts or behavior patterns you may be experiencing. During challenging times, affirmations can enhance your self-esteem and confidence. By using affirmations daily, you will begin to conquer your fears and self-sabotaging tendencies as well as mitigate your stress and anxiety.
When you have a fear of rejection, it is an irrational, continuous fear of social exclusion. You may even be someone who struggles with a social phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder, often referred to simply as SAD. Luckily, there are many things you can do to build your self-confidence and overcome your fear of rejection.
The fear of rejection is a very powerful form of dread that can stop you from living life to the fullest. For example, as a teenager, you may be so afraid of rejection that you do not even apply to your dream college. Similarly, as an adult, you may avoid applying to the job of your dreams since, in your mind, having no answer is better than hearing a “no.” This fear of rejection can even seep into your personal life. For instance, it may stop you from asking that person you really like out on a date due to your fear that he or she will deny you. For some support, check out our blog “How to Cope with Dating Anxiety.”
When you are in a situation that could lead to rejection, it is normal to feel nervous, but these feelings should not consume you. As you let your fear of rejection grow, more areas of your life will become impacted.
In the modern-day world, it may feel like your academics come second to real world experience. After all, people often say that experience is everything, but how do you get this experience in the workforce? Especially if you are a freshman in college, the process of finding a college internship can feel overwhelming and you may not feel qualified for any of the positions that interest you. You may even find that a lot of the entry-level internships require you to have previous work or internship experience. Needless to say, the hours of time and dedication spent towards researching companies and preparing application materials can begin to feel hopeless.
While everyone is discussing their summer plans, you may feel a wave of anxiety running throughout your body since you are still awaiting your answer. Whether you are procrastinating the summer internship application process or you are waiting to hear back from employers, stress will naturally occur. While it can be tempting to let your stress consume you and to dwell on your current circumstance, that will not help your mental health in the long-run. Luckily, there are strategies you can adopt in your daily routine to put your mind at ease.
Every person who drinks alcohol has a reason for doing so. Some people may be struggling with depression and look for a way to ease their sadness. Other people may drink alcohol to keep their social status. If you are struggling with alcohol use, it is helpful to get to the root cause. Why are you drinking? What is truly driving this behavior?
There are a variety of alcohol treatment methods at Anchor Therapy that can help you feel like your best self again.
Having a significant other with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, often simply referred to as ADHD, may make them an exciting and fun person to be with. After all, many people try to positively view ADHD as having a ‘superpower’ since people with ADHD often embrace multitasking, can think outside the box, and have unparalleled creativity.
On the other hand, having a partner with ADHD can cause a few bumps in the road along the way, especially in a long-term relationship or marriage. Adult ADHD symptoms like distraction and procrastination may cause issues in your relationship and uncomfortable emotions to arise, such as anger, frustration, and sadness. However, there is a way to prevent misunderstandings from piling up. Keep reading this blog for ways to ensure that your relationship thrives!
The Importance of Sleep Hygiene
Sleep hygiene refers to a set of practices and habits that are conducive to getting a good night's sleep on a regular basis. It encompasses various factors, including environmental, behavioral, and psychological elements that can influence the quality and duration of sleep. Adequate sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, yet many people struggle to get enough restorative sleep due to poor sleep hygiene practices. It is important to address this issue and make improvements due to the negative effects poor sleep quality has on an individual. It is important to implement these tips if you are struggling with your quality of sleep and are noticing the effects of that.
Good sleep hygiene aims to create an environment conducive to falling asleep easily, staying asleep throughout the night, and waking up feeling refreshed and energized.
Narcissistic parents can be very controlling, critical, and possessive of their own children. One of the biggest fears of a narcissistic parent is that their child will become independent of them. In order to prevent this from happening, a narcissistic parent will humiliate their children or shame them.
A narcissistic parent may be self-centered and/or seek attention from external sources. If you have a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father, you may wonder how you should interact with them and how your family will be able to function moving forward. Keeping a relationship with your parent(s) does not mean giving up your own mental and emotional well-being.
Anyone who has experienced physical or sexual violence in their life knows the devastating affects it can have on your psychological well-being and physical self. Even after the sexual trauma has happened, the negative ramifications continue to live on. After your trauma, you may lose faith in humanity, therefore making it more difficult for you to trust people.
Healing from sexual trauma is a highly individualized experience, and there is no timeline put on healing. In order to journey ahead on this emotionally-taxing process, you need to practice time, patience, self-compassion, and locate the right resources, like a trauma therapist.
Raising children is no easy task. As the age-old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child”, but what happens if you do not have that village to rely on? What if child care is always on you? Raising a child is a privilege, but it does not mean that it is an easy task by any means. It is a continuous labor of love and, even when you feel like you have nothing else to give, you have to keep going.
Due to a variety of reasons, you may have opted to become a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM). Perhaps you have always wanted to be an extra hands-on mother or, due to the cost of child care, you have decided to stay at home, handle the kids, and other daily responsibilities. Fathers can also take on the role of a stay-at-home parent, but the position is primarily occupied by mothers. According to the Pew Research Center, 26% of mothers stay at home while only 7% of fathers stay at home.
As a SAHM, it is normal to feel down from time to time. Just like any other job, the days can feel mundane and you may feel isolated from adult interactions. However, if you are experiencing constant thoughts of despair or feel purposeless, you may be dealing with SAHM burnout or SAHM depression.
When you start working out in a new environment, you may experience gym anxiety. As a child or teen, gym anxiety may manifest as being afraid of going to physical education class. As an adult, you may be afraid to try out a new workout or even go to a group workout class with other people.
If you suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder, simply referred to as SAD, your fear of going to the gym or going to physical education class may be so serious that you are constantly thinking about it throughout the day. You may have knots in your stomach about the mere thought of going to the gym after work, triggering your SAD symptoms. For more information read “6 Helpful Tips for Living with Social Anxiety.” It could even lead to a panic attack. For support, check out our blog “How to Manage A Panic Attack.”
A stepfamily forms when one or two adults in a new romantic relationship have children from a previous relationship. On the outside, you may look like a normal, traditional family but, on the inside, there are complex dynamics which can make parenting look a little different than usual.
If you are working to strengthen the bond of connection between a parent or step-parent, you have to understand the differences between stepfamilies versus first-time families. Your previous marriage or relationship with your child’s other parent may have ended in divorce or be the result of a major, traumatic life transition, like the death of a loved one. There also may be changes in your new relationship dynamic. For example, you may have previously been in a heterosexual relationship and, now, you may be in a homosexual relationship.
When you are away from home and in a new environment, you may experience homesickness, also known as a feeling of emotional distress. You may have moved temporarily or permanently, such as being a college student, working in the military, or being a migrant or refugee. According to the BBC, up to 70 percent of people experience homesickness at one point in time.
Feeling homesick is common following a major life transition, like graduating high school and beginning your college career. Everyone reacts differently to homesickness, but some common signs and symptoms can include anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. To learn more about your physical symptoms, check out our previous blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” To overcome your homesickness, it is important to maintain a connection to your home while also taking steps to modify your current setting so it fits your needs. For more information, keep reading along!
A relationship is based on mutual respect, satisfaction, and love. When negative qualities begin to creep in and dominate your relationship instead, your connection can take an unhealthy turn rather quickly. Control issues can manifest different ways depending on the type of romantic connection present. Control issues may not even be noticeable in the beginning of a relationship.
Control issues can be very harmful to a relationship. Whether you are the controller or feel like you are the partner being controlled, you may not even notice it until the damage to your relationship has already ensued.
Vulnerability plays an important role in our ability to connect with other people. Vulnerability includes emotional exposure with a certain level of unpredictability. When you learn how to be unguarded, you are also learning how to accept a degree of emotional risk that comes along with being open and willing to give and receive love.
If you are afraid of being vulnerable, you are not alone. It is a very common fear to have. However, once you comprehend vulnerability at its core and understand that there is an emotional challenge, you will gain appreciation for being vulnerable and realize that it is well worth the effort. In turn, you can become more vulnerable with the people you care about the most, and build better and stronger connections with your loved ones.
If you are looking to achieve satisfaction in your sex life, sex therapy may be the answer. Working with a licensed sex therapist can help you as an individual or couple in resolving common sexual issues, such as intimacy issues and sexual dysfunction. Sex counseling is just like any other form of talk therapy - you sit down with a couples counselor to work through your problems.
Some couples can take care of their sexual relationship on their own while others may need some assistance and that is perfectly okay. There needs to be a balance of “I” and “we” in a relationship and your sex therapist will likely stress this concept to you.
You may be feeling overwhelmed by social media lately and want to take a break but you don’t want to miss out on your friends posts and the news. Why does excessive scrolling make us feel bad, but it can also be enjoyable at the same time? Let's take a pause and talk about how social media is affecting our minds, the positives and the negatives and what to do about it.
