Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
love bombing, nyc therapist, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
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Do Affirmations Really Work?

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Do Affirmations Really Work?

Let us face the truth of the matter- sometimes standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself all of these really wonderful things when it does not match how you are feeling inside seems pointless. There is an obvious disconnect in the moment; however, affirmations do promote self-confidence over an extended period of time and usage. For more information, read “5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence.”

Affirmations are an effective way to manage and alter any unhelpful and/or negative thoughts or behavior patterns you may be experiencing. During challenging times, affirmations can enhance your self-esteem and confidence. By using affirmations daily, you will begin to conquer your fears and self-sabotaging tendencies as well as mitigate your stress and anxiety.

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5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

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5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

When you have a fear of rejection, it is an irrational, continuous fear of social exclusion. You may even be someone who struggles with a social phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder, often referred to simply as SAD. Luckily, there are many things you can do to build your self-confidence and overcome your fear of rejection.

The fear of rejection is a very powerful form of dread that can stop you from living life to the fullest. For example, as a teenager, you may be so afraid of rejection that you do not even apply to your dream college. Similarly, as an adult, you may avoid applying to the job of your dreams since, in your mind, having no answer is better than hearing a “no.” This fear of rejection can even seep into your personal life. For instance, it may stop you from asking that person you really like out on a date due to your fear that he or she will deny you. For some support, check out our blog “How to Cope with Dating Anxiety.”

When you are in a situation that could lead to rejection, it is normal to feel nervous, but these feelings should not consume you. As you let your fear of rejection grow, more areas of your life will become impacted.

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Surviving Summer Internship Application Stress: Strategies for Stevens Institute Students in Hoboken

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Surviving Summer Internship Application Stress: Strategies for Stevens Institute Students in Hoboken

In the modern-day world, it may feel like your academics come second to real world experience. After all, people often say that experience is everything, but how do you get this experience in the workforce? Especially if you are a freshman in college, the process of finding a college internship can feel overwhelming and you may not feel qualified for any of the positions that interest you. You may even find that a lot of the entry-level internships require you to have previous work or internship experience. Needless to say, the hours of time and dedication spent towards researching companies and preparing application materials can begin to feel hopeless.

While everyone is discussing their summer plans, you may feel a wave of anxiety running throughout your body since you are still awaiting your answer. Whether you are procrastinating the summer internship application process or you are waiting to hear back from employers, stress will naturally occur. While it can be tempting to let your stress consume you and to dwell on your current circumstance, that will not help your mental health in the long-run. Luckily, there are strategies you can adopt in your daily routine to put your mind at ease.

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The 4 Types of Alcohol Drinkers: What Type Are You?

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The 4 Types of Alcohol Drinkers: What Type Are You?

Every person who drinks alcohol has a reason for doing so. Some people may be struggling with depression and look for a way to ease their sadness. Other people may drink alcohol to keep their social status. If you are struggling with alcohol use, it is helpful to get to the root cause. Why are you drinking? What is truly driving this behavior?

There are a variety of alcohol treatment methods at Anchor Therapy that can help you feel like your best self again.

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How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

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How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

Having a significant other with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, often simply referred to as ADHD, may make them an exciting and fun person to be with. After all, many people try to positively view ADHD as having a ‘superpower’ since people with ADHD often embrace multitasking, can think outside the box, and have unparalleled creativity. 

On the other hand, having a partner with ADHD can cause a few bumps in the road along the way, especially in a long-term relationship or marriage. Adult ADHD symptoms like distraction and procrastination may cause issues in your relationship and uncomfortable emotions to arise, such as anger, frustration, and sadness. However, there is a way to prevent misunderstandings from piling up. Keep reading this blog for ways to ensure that your relationship thrives!

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Unlocking the Secrets of Quality Sleep: A Therapist's Perspective on Sleep Hygiene and Insomnia

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Unlocking the Secrets of Quality Sleep: A Therapist's Perspective on Sleep Hygiene and Insomnia

The Importance of Sleep Hygiene

Sleep hygiene refers to a set of practices and habits that are conducive to getting a good night's sleep on a regular basis. It encompasses various factors, including environmental, behavioral, and psychological elements that can influence the quality and duration of sleep. Adequate sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, yet many people struggle to get enough restorative sleep due to poor sleep hygiene practices. It is important to address this issue and make improvements due to the negative effects poor sleep quality has on an individual. It is important to implement these tips if you are struggling with your quality of sleep and are noticing the effects of that. 

Good sleep hygiene aims to create an environment conducive to falling asleep easily, staying asleep throughout the night, and waking up feeling refreshed and energized. 

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The Truth About Being An Empath

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The Truth About Being An Empath

As a human being, you may have built natural filters that purify what you let into your life. You can think of this as a guard or wall that you have constructed to not let surrounding emotions and energies into your space. You do this to safeguard yourself from excessive stimulation, but what happens when those walls drop down and you have no barrier? Welcome to the life of an empath.

An empath is like a sponge that absorbs the world’s problems and takes them as his or her own. As an empath, you may have a higher sensitivity to certain people, places, or sounds, especially people with big personalities or hectic settings. You feel things very deeply and give your whole heart to everything you do.

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5 Ways to Cope With A Narcissistic Parent

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5 Ways to Cope With A Narcissistic Parent

Narcissistic parents can be very controlling, critical, and possessive of their own children. One of the biggest fears of a narcissistic parent is that their child will become independent of them. In order to prevent this from happening, a narcissistic parent will humiliate their children or shame them. 

A narcissistic parent may be self-centered and/or seek attention from external sources. If you have a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father, you may wonder how you should interact with them and how your family will be able to function moving forward. Keeping a relationship with your parent(s) does not mean giving up your own mental and emotional well-being.

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Pawsitive Healing: A Therapist's Take on Pets and Mental Well-being

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Pawsitive Healing: A Therapist's Take on Pets and Mental Well-being

In a fast-paced world filled with stressors and uncertainties, having a pet can be life changing in many ways. It can have a positive impact on our overall well-being, not only our mental health but our physical health as well. Beyond their cuteness and cuddles, pets have a remarkable ability to provide us with emotional support and companionship that we don’t always get from humans. As I am writing this and cuddling with my dog, I can say first hand that adopting a dog is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! Some of the ways pets can help us are by reducing stress, providing love and companionship, sharing emotional support, giving us a sense of purpose, and helping with disabilities. In this blog we will dive into the many ways pets can change our lives for the better!

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

Anyone who has experienced physical or sexual violence in their life knows the devastating affects it can have on your psychological well-being and physical self. Even after the sexual trauma has happened, the negative ramifications continue to live on. After your trauma, you may lose faith in humanity, therefore making it more difficult for you to trust people.

Healing from sexual trauma is a highly individualized experience, and there is no timeline put on healing. In order to journey ahead on this emotionally-taxing process, you need to practice time, patience, self-compassion, and locate the right resources, like a trauma therapist.

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When to Seek A Therapist as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) in Hoboken + Jersey City

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When to Seek A Therapist as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) in Hoboken + Jersey City

Raising children is no easy task. As the age-old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child”, but what happens if you do not have that village to rely on? What if child care is always on you? Raising a child is a privilege, but it does not mean that it is an easy task by any means. It is a continuous labor of love and, even when you feel like you have nothing else to give, you have to keep going.

Due to a variety of reasons, you may have opted to become a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM). Perhaps you have always wanted to be an extra hands-on mother or, due to the cost of child care, you have decided to stay at home, handle the kids, and other daily responsibilities. Fathers can also take on the role of a stay-at-home parent, but the position is primarily occupied by mothers. According to the Pew Research Center, 26% of mothers stay at home while only 7% of fathers stay at home.

As a SAHM, it is normal to feel down from time to time. Just like any other job, the days can feel mundane and you may feel isolated from adult interactions. However, if you are experiencing constant thoughts of despair or feel purposeless, you may be dealing with SAHM burnout or SAHM depression.

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5 Ways to Beat Gym Anxiety

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5 Ways to Beat Gym Anxiety

When you start working out in a new environment, you may experience gym anxiety. As a child or teen, gym anxiety may manifest as being afraid of going to physical education class. As an adult, you may be afraid to try out a new workout or even go to a group workout class with other people.

If you suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder, simply referred to as SAD, your fear of going to the gym or going to physical education class may be so serious that you are constantly thinking about it throughout the day. You may have knots in your stomach about the mere thought of going to the gym after work, triggering your SAD symptoms. For more information read “6 Helpful Tips for Living with Social Anxiety.” It could even lead to a panic attack. For support, check out our blog “How to Manage A Panic Attack.”

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Stepparenting Family Therapy in New Jersey

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Stepparenting Family Therapy in New Jersey

A stepfamily forms when one or two adults in a new romantic relationship have children from a previous relationship. On the outside, you may look like a normal, traditional family but, on the inside, there are complex dynamics which can make parenting look a little different than usual. 

If you are working to strengthen the bond of connection between a parent or step-parent, you have to understand the differences between stepfamilies versus first-time families. Your previous marriage or relationship with your child’s other parent may have ended in divorce or be the result of a major, traumatic life transition, like the death of a loved one. There also may be changes in your new relationship dynamic. For example, you may have previously been in a heterosexual relationship and, now, you may be in a homosexual relationship.

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6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

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6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

When you are away from home and in a new environment, you may experience homesickness, also known as a feeling of emotional distress. You may have moved temporarily or permanently, such as being a college student, working in the military, or being a migrant or refugee. According to the BBC, up to 70 percent of people experience homesickness at one point in time.

Feeling homesick is common following a major life transition, like graduating high school and beginning your college career. Everyone reacts differently to homesickness, but some common signs and symptoms can include anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. To learn more about your physical symptoms, check out our previous blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” To overcome your homesickness, it is important to maintain a connection to your home while also taking steps to modify your current setting so it fits your needs. For more information, keep reading along!

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Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

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Are You In A Relationship With A Controlling Partner?

A relationship is based on mutual respect, satisfaction, and love. When negative qualities begin to creep in and dominate your relationship instead, your connection can take an unhealthy turn rather quickly. Control issues can manifest different ways depending on the type of romantic connection present. Control issues may not even be noticeable in the beginning of a relationship.

Control issues can be very harmful to a relationship. Whether you are the controller or feel like you are the partner being controlled, you may not even notice it until the damage to your relationship has already ensued. 

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3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable

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3 Steps to Becoming More Vulnerable

Vulnerability plays an important role in our ability to connect with other people. Vulnerability includes emotional exposure with a certain level of unpredictability. When you learn how to be unguarded, you are also learning how to accept a degree of emotional risk that comes along with being open and willing to give and receive love.

If you are afraid of being vulnerable, you are not alone. It is a very common fear to have. However, once you comprehend vulnerability at its core and understand that there is an emotional challenge, you will gain appreciation for being vulnerable and realize that it is well worth the effort. In turn, you can become more vulnerable with the people you care about the most, and build better and stronger connections with your loved ones.

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What to Expect in Sex Therapy

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What to Expect in Sex Therapy

If you are looking to achieve satisfaction in your sex life, sex therapy may be the answer. Working with a licensed sex therapist can help you as an individual or couple in resolving common sexual issues, such as intimacy issues and sexual dysfunction. Sex counseling is just like any other form of talk therapy - you sit down with a couples counselor to work through your problems.

Some couples can take care of their sexual relationship on their own while others may need some assistance and that is perfectly okay. There needs to be a balance of “I” and “we” in a relationship and your sex therapist will likely stress this concept to you.

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Navigating Social Media: A Mental Health Therapist's Guide to Balance and Well-Being

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Navigating Social Media: A Mental Health Therapist's Guide to Balance and Well-Being

You may be feeling overwhelmed by social media lately and want to take a break but you don’t want to miss out on your friends posts and the news. Why does excessive scrolling make us feel bad, but it can also be enjoyable at the same time? Let's take a pause and talk about how social media is affecting our minds, the positives and the negatives and what to do about it.

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Overcoming the Trap of Toxic Positivity

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Overcoming the Trap of Toxic Positivity

When someone is going through a difficult life transition, you may want to jump to offering words of wisdom or encourage them to focus on the positive. After all, positivity is a good thing, right? While positivity refers to the practice of being optimistic, the pressure to be positive no matter what is going on in your life can go wrong, causing serious issues down the road.

If you adopt a mindset of toxic positivity, you believe that everything is okay when, in reality, it is not. In a world filled with social comparison, you may feel pressure to create the illusion or even make yourself believe that everything is going fine, but life is much more complicated than that. Life is not always going to be all rainbows and butterflies and, once you accept that, you can see that there is beauty in that and in ditching the mindset of toxic positivity!

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Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

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Overcoming the Aftermath of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a specific type of emotional abuse. It is a tactic where someone will “bomb” you with extreme displays of affection and attention. While it may seem like this person has fallen head over heels and madly in love with you, there is a darker truth to the matter. A love bomber is using their grand gestures with the intent of manipulating you. 

Being showered with love and affection can feel good and even positive at the very beginning of the relationship, but it can lead to serious issues down the road, like gaslighting and abuse. Love bombing is a very common tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths in relationships so they can control you.

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