Spoilers ahead if you didn’t watch both seasons of the show The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon Prime Video
The Summer I Turned Pretty is a teen drama based on the book series written by Jenny Han. It follows a young teen, Belly, and her journey through young adulthood. This summer is a bit different than the previous summers. Belly seems to have had a glow-up, making her feel more ambitious. She decides to be a bit rebellious and break out of her “goody-two-shoes” mindset - like going to parties, flirting with boys, and even skinny dipping. On the surface, The Summer I Turned Pretty can seem like your average teen romance show, however, it takes a turn as the season progresses.
Belly, her mom (Laurel), and her brother (Steven) stay with a family friend, Susannah, and her two boys, Jeremiah and Conrad, every summer. Since they’ve been going to the summer house for so many years, they have basically all become one big family. Over time, we start to find out that Susannah is suffering from terminal cancer. Obviously, this is a lot to take in for everyone in the family and it can be incredibly traumatic. Not only Belly is dealing with this huge life transition, but she also has to stomach the fact that she may lose her second Mom. Ultimately, by season 2, Susannah sadly passes. Every main character of the show deals with grief in their own way, and you may be able to relate to them. You can even see how the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) can tie into each character’s experiences.
If you or a loved one are going through the grief process and would like to know more about it and possible counseling options, check out these blogs:
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Belly - Impulsive Behavior, Depressive Symptoms, and coping with happy memories:
After Susannah’s death, Belly sheds her happy go-lucky exterior. She starts to exhibit many symptoms of depression:
Feeling hopeless
Frequent and persistent negative mood
Lack of motivation and the loss of interest in hobbies
She slacks off on volleyball (her favorite sport) and loses her captaincy
She refuses to go out and do the things she normally loves doing
Difficulty concentrating on important things
She lets her grades plummet (which ultimately threatens her ability to graduate)
Because of Belly’s breakup with Conrad, this only makes all of her emotions spiral more. She doesn’t even have her best friend, Jeremiah, there to comfort her because she chose Conrad over him. She’s basically alone, as her mother is experiencing her own grief and won’t talk to her about their feelings. Belly constantly kicks herself for all of the mistakes she made. She feels immense guilt and this only pushes her more away from her own feelings, family, and friends. In season 1, her impulsivity could have been chalked up to her newfound drive to do more grownup things, but now it’s at an all time high.
Towards the end of the second season, what really helps Belly is finally opening up to the one’s she holds close. She has a heart to heart with her Mom (finally) which enables them to have a better understanding of each other. Belly resented her mother for being distant, but Laurel didn’t show her feelings because she felt she had to be strong for her kids. This communication really brought the two of them together. Also, to honor Susannah, Belly would do things that reminded her of the good times they had together. She would play her favorite songs, wore her favorite dress, and even wore her roller skates to a party. Keeping her family, friends, and Susannah close to her heart, really helped Belly through her depression.
Laurel - Denial and Withdrawal:
As a mother of two grieving children, Laurel felt that she needed to be the strong one in the family. It was really traumatic when she lost her best friend, soulmate, and twin flame. Multiple characters told Laurel that it really seemed like she loved Susannah more than her own husband. She cried with her children but never really showed them her grieving process after that. While the time was dwindling for Susannah and as her health got worse, Laurel would frequently go visit her. She would miss important events, like Belly’s volleyball games, and wasn’t really around for her children physically and emotionally. This made Belly and Steven feel like their mother was absent and cared more about Susannah than them. After Susannah’s death, Laurel overcame her writer’s block and wrote a story about Susannah to honor. Laurel would tell people that the book was meant to celebrate her life rather than glorify her death. This book actually did really well sales wise, but Lauren struggled to promote the book. She could never really come to terms with the fact that Susannah was gone. She would talk about Susannah in the present tense, rather than the past.
One night, the bubbling emotions finally exploded. Belly and Laurel got into a huge argument, ultimately leading to Laurel slapping Belly - something she normally doesn’t do. After brief separation, Laurel, Belly, and Steven all came together and really tried to understand each other. This helped all three of them find closure with each other. Not only that, but the heart-to-heart helped Laurel feel more comfortable speaking about not only her own feelings, but also her book.
Steven - Acceptance:
Steven is a really good example of how everyone handles and displays their grief and trauma differently. When Susannah first died, he of course took it hard. He’s not a character in the show that generally shows too much emotion, so to see him cry with his mom and sister really shows that he cares. However, after this, he seemed to positively move forward with his life. While the death still lingered, Steven still worked hard on his grades, graduated as Valedictorian, and got into his dream school. Unlike Belly, he handled his grief in a non-self-destructive way - which Belly ultimately resented him for. Belly was going through so much that it seemed that Steven had forgotten about the death.
Taylor, his girlfriend by the end of season 2 (and Belly’s best friend), reassured Steven that what he was going through was normal. He was told that he was allowed to be happy and move forward with his life while also missing Susannah. In the end, he still tried his best to be there for Belly and Laurel.
Conrad - Anger, Depression, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks:
Conrad wasn’t the first to find out about his mother’s cancer, but he was the first to really let it affect his life negatively. Unfortunately, Conrad overheard a conversation his mother was having about her cancer relapse. The fact that he might lose his mother was constantly on his mind and seemed to develop into trauma and severe anxiety. He went from a happy boy with aspirations to an absent, depressed, and distant personality. Conrad started to push everyone around him away, he quit football and refused to pursue it in college, his grades were slipping, and he really just wasn’t himself. His behavior became so irrational that even Belly questioned her romantic feelings for him. He refused to tell Jeremiah about what he heard because he didn’t want to bring Jeremiah down with him. His family chalked up his behavior to having a bad breakup before the summer started. So for months, Conrad kept his feelings bottled up and to himself, and these feelings were fueled further by anxiety. Conrad started to experience frequent panic attacks and he had no coping skills to overcome them.
He soon discovered that a way to calm himself down during his panic attacks, was to:
Surround himself with people
Talk himself through it
Focus on his breathing
He realized that he needed people to talk him out of the panic and distress he would experience. Once everything went down, and Susannah passed away, Conrad became more distant. He and Belly started dating and for a while it was great. Yet, Conrad still couldn’t put his all into the relationship. He would push Belly away and Belly didn’t fully understand how to help him. He was alone again. A pattern for Conrad was secluding himself from the people he loved most.
In season 2, Conrad spent all his time and effort on saving the summer house from being sold. He completely cast aside his grades and schooling and even was determined to use all of his money on the house too. He never really understood how to keep his priorities in check. It seems as if all of the trauma he had experienced from his mother’s death may have pushed him so hard to keep custody of the house. With enough work, begging, and pleading the house was bought by their father. His friends and family pushed him to go back to school so that he could finish the semester and transfer to the school of his dreams. With his friends and family by his side, he studied all night and passed his exam. Conrad definitely had one of the most prevalent mental health journeys out of all the characters. By the end of season 1, he did not “fully” overcome his trauma. Yet, Conrad was slowly but surely making big steps to develop coping skills. He even was able to let go of Belly by the end of the season, even though it was really hard for him.
If you want to learn more about coping mechanisms and strategies when losing a loved one, read “Grief: How to Cope With Losing a Loved One.”
Jeremiah - Bargaining and Loneliness
Susannah always referred to Jeremiah as her “sunshine boy”. At face value, this just seems like a cute nickname, but it can really put a lot of pressure on a young teen. Jeremiah felt like he needed to be happy all the time - always making people laugh and putting a smile on his Mom’s face. Jeremiah wasn’t even aware of Susannah’s illness until the end of the first season - when he found out by checking her emails. He noticed for a while that Susannah’s behavior was a bit off - she was sleeping more often, wouldn’t hold her balance well, and just looked a bit sickly. When he found out, he immediately broke down in tears all alone by himself. After this, it seemed that he mostly grieved alone. When Susannah was going through cancer trials with the hope to get better, Jeremiah was always by her side when Conrad was at school (or with Belly). At her funeral, he did have Conrad, Steven and his other family members to comfort him, but he really wanted Belly - his best friend. He later told her that he needed her, but she was too busy with Conrad.
He relents to Belly that he’s sick of being strong all the time. He mostly can handle his feelings on his own, but he really needs his family and friends to be there for him. He would misplace his worry and sadness with resentment. Jeremiah would find people to blame. He punched Conrad when he found out that Conrad didn’t tell him about his Mom’s illness for months. And he got really upset with Belly for not being there for him. These feelings of his were valid, but he wouldn’t cope with them in the best, most productive ways.
If you want to support a loved one during the grieving process, read “How To Support Someone Who Is Grieving.”
Support Systems and Family: How Loved Ones Can Help You Through Grief and Trauma
Belly, Laurel, Steven, Conrad, and Jeremiah all portrayed their grief and coping mechanisms in different ways. However, an overarching coping strategy was relying on those you care about for support. They were all grieving in their own ways, but having each other and their good memories as a family was what got them through it. Laurel and Susannah were each other's twin flames since college. When they both had children, they all became a family together. Regardless of blood, they were a family.
Having such a major loss can really throw a family through a loop, especially since the family was so small. In the end, they really had each other. It took them all a long time to realize it but to them: family was forever. Fighting together to keep ownership of the house brought them even closer. They remembered all of the good memories they made together. Even without Susannah, they would be able to make new happy memories together one step at a time. Even so, forgetting about a loved one isn’t necessary to process the grief related to their loss. Susannah was still always there in the hearts of those who loved her. Honoring her by admiring the things that she loved and enjoyed was a good coping mechanism for all of the family. Being able to keep possession of the house, made the family feel like they still had a big piece of her to hold on to.
Trauma and grief aren't easy to cope with, and each member of the family showed different sides of the grieving process. Even though The Summer I Turned Pretty is a work of fiction, it can be used as a representation of the trauma response and how it is shown through different personalities and perspectives.
If you enjoyed this blog and want to read more popular culture-related mental health blogs, check out the following articles:
Olivia Charletta
is studying Human Services with a concentration in Clinical Services at the University of Delaware. She’s a Junior and plans on getting her Master’s after she graduates and to learn more about children with psychological disabilities. In the future, she wants to work as a therapist who specializes in play therapy.
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