Grief is an inevitable part of life. In fact, it is a completely normal part of coping with loss. Grief is an extremely unique experience. In other words, it looks different to everyone from severity to how long the grief process lasts.
However, there are some scenarios where seemingly normal grief can transform into a grief disorder. As of March 2022, there is an updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR). Within the DSM-5-TR, there is now an official mental health disorder for prolonged grief. With the symptoms and criteria for the diagnosis, it can tell you if your grief has become a major problem in your life. It can also tell you if you are grieving longer than you should and that you are not grieving in a healthy way. Read more below all about the new grief disorder in the DSM-5-TR which all psychotherapists and psychiatrists will use to diagnose clients. With the help of a grief counselor, you can overcome your grief disorder and come out of the experience as a stronger person!
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
What Causes Grief?
Many different instances can cause grief, including:
Loss of a loved one
Loss of a job
Loss of a beloved pet
Loss of a friendship
Loss of a personal goal
Loss of a romantic relationship or divorce
The loss of anything can trigger feelings of grief. When you are unable to process those feelings for a prolonged period of time, you may be at risk for a grief disorder. Most commonly, grief is attributed to the death of a loved one.
So, What Exactly Is A Grief Disorder?
A grief disorder is titled, “Prolonged Grief Disorder” or it could also be known as “Complicated Grief Disorder”.
Prolonged Grief Disorder
can occur when someone has passed away within six months for children and 12 months for adults. You may experience extreme longings for your deceased loved one or you may be preoccupied with thoughts surrounding the deceased or the circumstances of their passing. This triggers distress in social, occupational, and other areas of your life which makes it hard to function normally.
Symptoms of Prolonged Grief Disorder include:
Avoiding reminders that your loved one has passed away
Feeling emotionally numb
Feeling like life no longer has any meaning
Intense loneliness (e.g., feeling completely alone or separate from others)
Sense of disbelief surrounding the death
Extreme emotional pain (e.g., rage, resentment, misery) regarding the death
Identity issues (e.g., feeling like you do not know who you are without the deceased)
Issues reintegrating into society (e.g., difficulty planning for the future, pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, etc.)
The grief response’s gravity and duration surpass cultural, social, and religious standards
Symptoms are not attributed to another mental disorder and cause interference with daily life
In order to have Prolonged Grief Disorder, three or more of the previously mentioned symptoms must be felt most days. Symptoms of Prolonged Grief Disorder must be present nearly every day for 30 days.
Managing grief is very difficult to do, therefore there are some signs that you can look out for which will indicate if you should seek the help of a grief therapist.
There are emotional symptoms associated with grieving, such as:
Heightened irritability
Numbness
Bitterness
Detachment
Denial
Blame
Confusion
Shock
Yearning
Preoccupation with loss
Inability to showcase or feel happiness
Since grief affects your feelings, it can easily spill over into your behaviors. Some behaviors associated with grief encompass:
Aggression
Loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed
Difficulty sleeping
Restlessness
Loss of energy
Crying spells
Grief can interfere with your thoughts, causing you to:
Be preoccupied or fixated on what you lost
Hallucinate
Have difficulty concentrating
Be confused
Be in a state of disbelief
Grief can also impact the body. Physical symptoms of grief include:
Dizziness
Fast heartbeat
Weight loss or weight gain
Tightness or heaviness in the throat and/or chest
Fatigue
Headaches
Digestive issues
Sore muscles
Chest pains
What Are The Five Stages of Grief?
Grief is sometimes described as a process of five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Stage One: Denial
There is no hiding the fact that grief is overwhelming. Many people respond to its intensity by simply pretending that the event did not happen. Denying the circumstances can offer you more time to absorb your new normal and accept the truth. This is a common reaction to help lessen the situation’s severity.
As you gradually leave the denial stage, your emotions will start to arise.
Stage Two: Anger
The anger that you feel may be hiding your other emotions, including the suffering you are going through. You may redirect your anger at people who do not deserve it. For example, you may lash out at a close friend who is trying to help you even though they did nothing wrong.
Your feelings may be so intense at the moment that you cannot recognize the source of your anger. Anger can mask feelings of resentment or bitterness. When the anger subsides, you are able to think more rationally and see the other emotions at play.
Stage Three: Bargaining
Feeling vulnerable or helpless can also be a part of the grief process. When your emotions are intense, you may look for ways to regain control of the situation. During the bargaining stage, you may be making a lot of “what if” or “if only” statements. For example, if you lost your job, you may be thinking “If only I worked late, they would see what an asset I am to the company.”
Bargaining is used to block yourself from facing the emotions of grief. It can help you postpone hurt, confusion, and unhappiness.
Stage Four: Depression
In the early stages of grief, it may feel like you are running away from your emotions or trying to stay a few steps ahead of them. However, by the fourth stage, you may be willing to embrace your emotions and work through them. One way you may choose to do this is to isolate yourself.
Like the other stages of grief, depression can feel overwhelming and confusing. Many people experience this stage after dealing with loss, but some people may linger here. Talking with a grief counselor can help deal with your emotions so you can proceed with your life in a healthy manner.
Stage Five: Acceptance
Contrary to popular belief, acceptance is not necessarily a “happy” stage of grief. It does not mean that you have moved on or your life will be the same. Instead, it means that you have accepted the loss and you understand how that loss will now be reflected in your life.
During this stage, you may feel different. When you have reached acceptance, you will probably be experiencing more “good” days than “bad” days, but please know that not every day has to be perfect. There will still be times when you cry or reminisce on old times- it’s a normal part of life.
Are The Five Stages of Grief Accurate?
These five steps are all perfectly normal reactions to grief, but it is important to note that not everyone who is experiencing grief will undergo all five stages. In the case that you do experience all five phases, you may not experience them in the same order. Many people often cycle back to a stage or symptom and that is okay- it is all a part of the healing process.
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, it is highly suggested that you seek the help of a professional grief counselor. Grief therapy will give you invaluable support during such a sensitive and challenging time. If you are interested, read our blog “What to Expect in Grief Counseling.”
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, planning to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.
