What to Expect in Grief Counseling

After losing a loved one, regularly seeing a licensed therapist can help you process your emotions. Unfortunately, grief is an unavoidable part of life. Losing a loved one may be unexpected, and it is always a difficult situation to deal with. Death can trigger multiple complicated emotions to arise. Loss can dominate your thoughts, and falsely alter your perception of reality. While there is no way to anticipate grief, seeking grief counseling after losing a loved one may be the right choice for you. 

As time progresses, some people learn to cope with their grief and accept the loss of their loved one(s). On the other hand, some people continue to struggle with their grief for extended periods, showing no signs of improvement. Therefore, their ability to adequately perform their everyday activities may be impaired. 

Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.

Grief does not have a timeline.

Regardless of how long it takes you to process losing a loved one, your grief is valid. Grief counseling is there to steer you during one of the most difficult experiences that life has to offer.

The brave decision to seek counseling is always a good choice and, grief counseling, in particular, may be essential for some people. Friends and family members can be a good support system, but it is important to remember that they may also be stricken with grief and unprepared to deal with your deep emotions. If you would like to learn more about grief counseling and find out if it is right for you, continue to read along!

First, what exactly is grief

Grief is an automatic, natural response to any form of loss, especially a death of a loved one. Grief is a step beyond mere unhappiness and evokes complex feelings, such as uncertainty, hesitancy, guilt, and animosity.

The path of grief is different for everyone. In other words, there is no one correct way to grieve the loss of a loved one. It can take months or it can take years to grieve. With the help of a sturdy social support network and healthy coping mechanisms, some people succeed in recovering from the death of a loved one. For other individuals, grief counseling can be essential to properly recover from a loss.

Grief counseling, also known as bereavement counseling, helps people cope with loss. A grief counselor will provide you with methods and plans to cope with your grief. Grief therapy can allow you to safely discuss your emotions and feelings which will help you uncover new ways to relieve the heaviness of the grieving process.

Grief counseling is especially recommended for the following individuals whose grief:

  • Ignites feelings of depression or guilt

  • Hinders one’s ability to complete daily activities

  • Causes issues in one’s present relationships

  • Makes it difficult to progress in one’s life

Grief counseling gives you the opportunity to:

  • Resolve your trauma

  • Express your feelings

  • Confront your feelings of guilt

  • Construct a strong support system

  • Accept your new reality

Forcing yourself to live with unresolved emotions regarding loss and avoiding the help of a licensed mental health worker can lead to complex grief that is severe, enduring, and hard to resolve.

There are two crucial steps in grief counseling. First, your grief counselor will initiate the formation of a trusting relationship with you. This is crucial to construct a comfortable and secure setting where you can openly discuss the circumstances of your loss and your feelings.

Next, you should expect your therapist to actively listen to what you are saying. In response, your grief counselor will ask you questions about your relationship with the individual who has passed. If the relationship with the deceased was complicated or strenuous, counseling delivers a unique process in comparison to an individual who had a healthy relationship with the deceased. 

There are many different techniques that a therapist may employ during grief counseling. 

Specific grief counseling techniques may include:

  • Differentiating Grief from Trauma - If you are feeling distressed from the memory or conditions surrounding loss, your therapist will guide you to reframe your perspective on your memories or the conditions. You will be able to successfully readjust your relationship with your deceased loved one to inspire healthy healing.

  • Discussing the Deceased Individual - As a person who just experienced loss, you must discuss your feelings with a therapist involving the death, especially if you feel like you cannot find a safe space to do so. Your grief counselor will invite you to discuss the deceased’s life, attributes, and hobbies. 

  • Confronting Feelings of Wrongdoing - Many people experience guilt after losing a loved one. You may feel that you should have done more or less during the time before the death of the deceased. Your therapist will help you alleviate your feelings of wrongdoing, so you can focus on positive aspects of your relationship with the deceased.

While you may be aware of the five stages of grief, your therapist will likely dive into them more. It used to be believed that you would follow the 5 stages of grief in order and that each stage would be experienced. However, now the 5 stages of grief are seen as just five different things you may experience in any order at any time. Generally, the stages of grief are how an individual reacts to accepting the loss of a loved one. The five stages of grief are there to assist you in pinpointing the numerous manifestations of grief. You may experience some or all of the stages.

The five stages of grief are as follows:

  1. Denial and isolation

  2. Anger

  3. Bargaining

  4. Depression

  5. Acceptance

Deciding to attend grief counseling is not an easy decision. Grief counseling is not only available for those who are severely experiencing grief, anyone who has experienced a loss of any kind can seek grief therapy. Even if you are just seeking a safe space to discuss your feelings, searching for a licensed mental health counselor can give you that environment to openly talk through your emotions without fear of judgment.

In addition to grief counseling, you may need a therapist with a specific background that is tailored to your needs. For instance, you may want to attend grief counseling with your family. In this case, it would be helpful to find a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in grief along with family therapy. 

Grief counseling is a way to aid you in the transformation from a dark period dominated by loss to a fruitful path forward. Recovering from grief takes time and work, therefore you should be patient with the healing process. Grief therapy allows you to discover deep emotions relating to your loss and provides you with healthy coping mechanisms to continue to live a normal life. You are not alone in your grieving process- a licensed therapist is always there to help you through this difficult time.

Victoria Scala

is the Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, looking to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.

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