Over the last few months I have been hearing one issue time and time again for many, if not all, of my clients attending therapy who are working from home: the difficulty between finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As we approach the 6th month of working from home due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most did not anticipate working from home for this long, it seems as if this is a likely reality for many moving forward. (Google just announced their workers would be working from home until summer 2021).
At first, many focused on the positives such as having the rare freedom to tackle both professional and personal to-do list items from the comfort of their own home. As time continues to creep along, it is becoming abundantly clear that this lack of well-defined boundaries between our two worlds is getting blurrier and blurrier by the minute.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
On top of the personal and professional stress many are feeling, the rise in anxiety about the world and job security have taken a toll. So how can you tell if it’s time to reassess your own work-life balance? Below are some of the most common things I hear from clients who are struggling with finding a healthy balance at home:
I feel more exhausted and burnt out than I did before.
I’m home so my boss knows I’m available.
I feel guilty ignoring my kids when I’m working.
I’m with my family more and more, but it feels like I have less and less time for them.
There’s no harm in answering calls, e-mails, and texts after hours if I’m home anyway.
If I don’t do more work than I did at the office, I’m worried my boss will replace me.
My boss is asking for more and more, so I need to keep working late.
The to-do list in my head never seems to end.
No matter how many hours I spend working, I still feel so unproductive.
Work-life balance impacts both mental and physical health and happiness. A poor balance can lead to feeling more stressed and less productive. In other words, if your daily schedule and life feel out of control, so will everything else. If any of the statements above resonate with you, it might be time to hit the reset button and try some new strategies while we continue to adjust to the “new normal.”
Designate a Work Space:
This may seem obvious as you’ve been doing it for months, but there is more to creating a work space than simply where you do your work. Working from home can often lead to the false belief that as long as you have a physical work space, you’ve accomplished this goal. It is extremely helpful to have a clear separation of your work space, and this can be done in many simple ways. The core issue here is keeping a boundary on this space rather than just creating it.
Make it work for you:Whether it’s an actual office desk, your kitchen table, or a tiny corner of your apartment…the way you set up your space has an impact on how you feel in it. Try to create a space that mimics your office and how it previously met your needs. A comfy chair, necessary supplies, and good lighting can go a long way in feeding your productive energy. Bring things into your work space that don’t take up much room, but give you a more personalized feel. For example, a cute plant, a family photo, your usual mug or water bottle that you would have at work, anything that brings you into a healthy headspace.
Use it distinctly for work:Whatever space you designate for work should stay exactly that, just for work. It can be hard to focus on work tasks when you find yourself scrolling through the internet for fun, on social media or watching videos during the day. If you use the same computer or laptop for personal use, see if you can move out of your work space and enjoy the distractions somewhere else in your home or apartment. This helps to keep structure and expectations for what you need to do when at your desk. If you work from your couch, it can be very easy to slip into the habit of putting the TV on, or looking around and think of everything else you need to do later. This is an easy way to trap yourself in self-defeating behaviors. The break may be needed and welcomed, but if you catch yourself feeling guilty for it later, it will likely lead to a negative loop of self-evaluation.
The most important thing to remember is to try and maintain a clear separation from work and personal spaces, even if your work has moved into the most personal of spaces…your home.
Structure:
Trying to find a way to keep a structured schedule these days can feel impossible at times. The key is to find a happy balance between flexibility while setting expectations for yourself and your day. It may feel like a lifetime ago, but when work was in person, there was inherent structure built in. At home, it can often seem impossible to find a schedule that you can stick to with the added pressures of family, social, and home-life responsibilities throughout the day. There are small changes you can make along the way that will help you rebuild the day to day experiences that once defined your typical work day.
Recreate daily structure:What used to define your workday? This is the first question in uncovering what you need to reclaim to feel a similar sense of normalcy, which, in turn, will lead to more productivity. There was built in structure to the work day that included commuting, breaks, meetings, and so on. It’s safe to assume that the meetings have continued, but the feeling of having daily breaks has diminished. Did you once have a morning routine? Try to look at your daily schedule and think of what can be built in daily to help recreate that structure.
For example:
Morning routine: coffee, a podcast, reading, going for a walk as if you were commuting. Anything that you can add that helps clear your mind and set a tone for the day.
This can be complicated if you have children or other home responsibilities. It does not need to be anything time consuming or stressful, but should be looked at as a way to start the day fresh. Structuring the day, especially the morning, will also help give your children structure as well.
If your partner is also home you can sit down together and create a morning structure and schedule that accounts for both your needs through compromise, understanding, and an openness to ask for what you require.
Now go check out part 2 of this blog which will has more tips on how to reclaim your work-life balance while working from home.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for help from a professional counselor to assist you in making these positive changes in your life as you continue to work from home, reach out by filling out the form below. We have psychotherapists specialized in helping a lot of clients with their adjustment to being at home more than they used to.
Lauren Mandelbaum, LPC, NCC, CCMHC
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and life transitions through counseling. Lauren can help NJ residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
