Have you ever made one small mistake and immediately thought, “I’m terrible at this”? Or maybe you’ve had a friend cancel plans and found yourself wondering if they’re upset with you, even though they never said anything was wrong. These kinds of thoughts can feel automatic and convincing, but they don’t always tell the full story.
Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that can cause us to interpret situations in inaccurate or unhelpful ways. They’re common, and most of us fall into them from time to time, especially when we’re stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or dealing with difficult emotions. In this blog, we’ll look at 10 common cognitive distortions, what they can look like in everyday life, and how learning to recognize these thinking traps can help you respond to your thoughts with more perspective.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
What Is The Root Cause of Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions don't usually have one single root cause. They often develop from a combination of past experiences, learned beliefs, stress, anxiety, and the way we’ve learned to interpret ourselves and the world around us. Over time, these patterns can become automatic, making certain thoughts feel like facts rather than interpretations.
For example, if you grew up feeling like mistakes were heavily criticized, you might be more likely to interpret a small mistake as evidence that you’re failing. Similarly, if you’ve experienced rejection or inconsistency in relationships, you may be more likely to assume someone is upset with you when they’re simply having a bad day.
Our brains also naturally look for patterns and try to make sense of what’s happening around us. Sometimes, this can be helpful. But when we’re under stress or dealing with strong emotions, our interpretations can become more extreme, negative, or focused on the worst-case scenario.
Cognitive distortions can also be reinforced over time. If you repeatedly think, “I always mess things up,” and then focus primarily on the times something goes wrong, you may start to collect evidence that supports that belief while overlooking experiences that contradict it. Eventually, the thought can become so familiar that you barely question it.
At Anchor Therapy, we often see that the thinking pattern itself isn’t all that’s going on. There’s usually a reason the thought makes sense to the person having it. A person who constantly worries that they’re disappointing others may have learned early on that keeping people happy was important for feeling safe, accepted, or valued.
Life experiences can strengthen these patterns, too. Major transitions, relationship difficulties, trauma, chronic stress, or periods of low self-esteem can all make certain cognitive distortions more likely to show up. This doesn’t mean that having these thoughts means something is wrong with you. It means your brain may be relying on a familiar way of making sense of difficult experiences.
In our clinical experience, trying to simply “think positively” usually isn’t enough. What tends to help is slowing down, figuring out where the thought came from, and asking whether there's another way to read the situation that's more balanced and grounded in the facts.
Therapy can be helpful because it gives you space to notice these patterns without judging yourself for having them. Once you can recognize a cognitive distortion as a thinking pattern rather than an unquestionable truth, you have more room to respond differently.
What Are The 10 Most Common Cognitive Distortions?
The 10 most common cognitive distortions are all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, mental filtering, discounting the positive, jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, emotional reasoning, should statements, personalization, and labeling. Most of us fall into a few of these regularly, and knowing their names makes them much easier to catch in the moment.
#1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
All-or-nothing thinking, also called black-and-white thinking, happens when you see something as one extreme or the other, with little room for anything in between. You might think, “If I don't do this perfectly, I've completely failed,” or “If we're arguing, our relationship must be terrible.” This way of thinking can make normal mistakes and disagreements feel much bigger than they actually are.
#2. Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization happens when you take one experience and apply it to a much larger pattern. For example, if you have one bad date, you might think, “I'll never find a relationship,” or if you make a mistake at work, you might tell yourself, “I always mess everything up.” One difficult experience doesn't necessarily predict what will happen next.
#3. Mental Filtering
Mental filtering means focusing heavily on one negative part of a situation while overlooking the positive or neutral parts. You might receive ten compliments about a presentation but spend the rest of the day thinking about one piece of constructive feedback. The positive feedback was there, but your attention becomes fixed on what went wrong.
#4. Discounting the Positive
This distortion involves dismissing or minimizing positive experiences rather than allowing yourself to take them in. If someone tells you that you did a great job, you might think, “They were just being nice,” or “It wasn't that difficult.” You may acknowledge your mistakes as meaningful evidence about yourself while finding reasons why your successes don't count.
#5. Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusions occurs when you make a negative assumption without having enough information to support it. For example, your partner may be quiet after work, and you immediately assume they're angry with you. You may also assume you know what someone else is thinking or feeling without actually asking them.
#6. Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing means expecting or imagining the worst possible outcome, often without considering more likely possibilities. A small mistake at work might suddenly become, “I'm going to get fired, I'll never find another job, and everything is going to fall apart.” When you're catastrophizing, your mind can take a problem and turn it into a disaster.
#7. Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning happens when you treat your feelings as proof that something must be true. You might think, “I feel like everyone is judging me, so they must be judging me,” or “I feel like I'm failing, so I must be a failure.” Feelings are important and worth paying attention to, but they aren't always evidence of what is objectively happening.
#8. Should Statements
Should statements involve rigid expectations about how you, other people, or situations are supposed to be. You might tell yourself, “I should be further along in my career,” “I shouldn't feel this way,” or “My partner should know what I need without me having to ask.” These expectations can create unnecessary guilt, frustration, and disappointment when reality doesn't match them.
#9. Personalization
Personalization happens when you assume that something is your fault or that an event is specifically about you when there may be other explanations. For example, if a friend seems quiet when you meet for coffee, you might immediately wonder, “What did I do wrong?” You may be taking responsibility for something that has little or nothing to do with you.
#10. Labeling
Labeling involves assigning a harsh, fixed label to yourself or someone else based on a mistake, behavior, or single experience. Instead of thinking, “I made a mistake,” you might think, “I'm an idiot.” Instead of recognizing that someone handled one situation poorly, you might decide, “They're a terrible person.” Labels can turn a specific behavior into a judgment about someone's entire identity.
Our team often sees that people don't experience these distortions one at a time. They can overlap and reinforce each other. For example, one mistake might lead to overgeneralization (“I always mess things up”), labeling (“I'm incompetent”), and catastrophizing (“I'm going to lose my job”). If the labeling one sounds familiar, our blog "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk" goes deeper on that inner voice.
You're not trying to police every negative thought you have. Noticing the pattern is what gives you a choice about whether to believe a thought, question it, or reframe it.
How Can I Identify My Cognitive Distortions?
Identifying cognitive distortions starts with paying attention to how you talk to yourself, especially when you’re stressed, anxious, hurt, or upset. A helpful first step is to slow down and ask yourself, “What exactly am I telling myself right now?” Writing the thought down can make it easier to recognize patterns that might otherwise feel automatic.
One of the easiest ways to spot a cognitive distortion is to look for words that leave little room for flexibility. “Always,” “never,” “everyone,” “no one,” “should,” and “must” can be clues that you may be thinking in an extreme or rigid way. For example, “I never do anything right” is very different from “I made a mistake on this project.”
You can also ask yourself whether you’re treating an assumption as a fact. If your friend takes longer than usual to respond to a text and you immediately think, “They’re mad at me,” pause and ask, “What do I actually know, and what am I assuming?” That small distinction can help you separate what happened from the story your mind created around it.
At Anchor Therapy, we often find that the first thought isn't always the most important one to examine. Sometimes the more useful question is what the thought means to you. For example, “My partner seems distant” might quickly turn into “They don’t love me anymore,” which may connect to a deeper fear of rejection or abandonment.
Another helpful strategy is to look at the evidence. Ask yourself:
What facts support this thought?
What facts don't support it?
Am I making an assumption?
Is there another possible explanation?
You don't need to force yourself into positive thinking. You're giving yourself a chance to consider the situation from more than one angle.
It can also help to notice when your thoughts become especially intense. You may be more likely to fall into cognitive distortions when you're tired, overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally activated. Recognizing these patterns doesn't mean you should judge yourself for having them.
This awareness can be a meaningful first step toward change. You don't have to believe every thought that pops into your head, and learning to create some distance between “I’m having this thought” and “this thought must be true” can make it easier to respond to yourself with greater perspective and self-compassion.
How Cognitive Distortions Can Affect Your Mental Health
Cognitive distortions can affect your mental health by shaping how you interpret everyday experiences. When you regularly assume the worst, focus on your mistakes, or treat your feelings as facts, you may experience more anxiety, stress, self-doubt, or low self-esteem. Over time, these patterns can influence how you see yourself, your relationships, and your ability to handle challenges.
One negative thought pulls the next one in fast. For example, thinking “I made a mistake” can become “I always mess things up,” which can then turn into “I'm not good enough.” The thought itself may be small, but the meaning you attach to it can have a much bigger impact on how you feel.
Research has found a connection between certain thinking patterns and depression. A 2020 meta-analysis found that catastrophizing and interpretation bias were linked to depressive symptoms, suggesting that the way we interpret and make sense of our experiences can influence how we feel.
Cognitive distortions aren't permanent. Learning to recognize these patterns can help you create some distance from automatic thoughts and consider a more balanced perspective.
Check out our blog “5 Ways to Calm Your Anxiety.”
What Thinking Traps Look Like in Everyday Life
Cognitive distortions can show up in small, everyday moments, often without you realizing it. You might notice them at work, in your relationships, while scrolling through social media, or when you're replaying something that happened earlier in the day. Because these thoughts can happen automatically, it isn't always easy to recognize them as thinking patterns.
You may be falling into a cognitive distortion if you find yourself thinking:
“I completely messed that up.” → All-or-nothing thinking
“They haven't texted me back, so they're definitely mad at me.” → Jumping to conclusions
“I always say the wrong thing.” → Overgeneralization
“Everyone else has their life together except me.” → Mental filtering
“I should be further along by now.” → Should statements
“I feel like something is going to go wrong, so it probably will.” → Emotional reasoning
“This is all my fault.” → Personalization
The key is to notice these thoughts without judging yourself for having them. Once you can recognize the pattern, you can start asking yourself whether there might be another, more balanced way to look at the situation.
Can You Change Cognitive Distortions?
Yes. Cognitive distortions can become less automatic with practice and awareness. You may not be able to stop certain thoughts from popping into your head, but you can learn to recognize them, question them, and choose how you respond.
Research suggests that the way we think about and interpret things may also affect our mental health over time. A 2025 meta-analysis of 81 studies found a small but meaningful connection between cognitive biases and later symptoms of anxiety and depression, particularly when it came to how people interpreted and remembered experiences.
One helpful approach is to pause when you notice a strong or negative thought and ask yourself, “Is this a fact, or is this an interpretation?” You can also look for evidence that supports the thought, evidence that doesn't, and other possible explanations for what happened.
You're aiming for accuracy, not optimism. A thought that feels completely true at 11pm often looks very different once you write it down and check it against the facts the next morning. With practice, thoughts that used to feel automatic get easier to catch and question.
How Therapy Can Help You Recognize Unhelpful Thinking Patterns
Therapy can give you the space to slow down and notice patterns in the way you think, especially when certain thoughts feel automatic or difficult to challenge on your own. A therapist can help you identify cognitive distortions, explore where these patterns may come from, and practice looking at situations from a more balanced perspective.
The framework behind all of this is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a type of therapy built around the link between what you think, how you feel, and what you do. Naming your cognitive distortions is one of the first things you'd work on with a CBT therapist, along with learning how to test a thought instead of automatically believing it.
Therapy won't stop negative thoughts from showing up, and it isn't meant to. What changes is how much authority you give them. You get better at noticing a thought, asking what it's actually based on, and deciding how much weight it deserves.
Cognitive distortions are something we all experience, but they don't have to control how you see yourself or your life. Learning to recognize these thinking traps can help you create more space between an automatic thought and the conclusion you draw from it.
If you're struggling with negative thought patterns, anxiety, self-doubt, or feeling stuck in the same cycles of thinking, therapy can help. Our team at Anchor Therapy works with clients in-person in Hoboken, NJ, and virtually in New Jersey, New York, and Florida. You can get in touch through our intake form below.
Victoria Scala
is the Psychotherapist, Community Engagement Director, Office Manager, and Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey.
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Maybe you're the one who gets blamed no matter what actually happened, at home, at work, or even with friends. Something goes wrong, and somehow it lands on you. If that sounds familiar, there's a word for what's happening: scapegoat. A scapegoat is a person who's unfairly blamed for problems they didn't cause. Scapegoating shows up most in families, where it's often called being the family scapegoat.