When is it Time to Seek Anger Management Therapy?

Feelings of anger or violent actions can be related to many underlying mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or addiction problems. Some people with anger may suffer from low self-confidence, trust issues, or even have past experiences with physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. There can be overlapping factors that influence one’s anger management issues. 

It is important to note that anger is a normal emotion, especially when you feel mistreated or wronged. It should not be something you hide from. In fact, you should learn to express your emotions, but they must be showcased in a healthy way that does not negatively affect other people. When you have control over your anger, you can ensure that your emotions do not get bottled up, remain calm, and learn to effectively show your emotions without harming your relationships. Anger becomes dangerous when harm is done to you or others. 

Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.

Anger manifests itself in different ways for different people. It is a normal reaction to many life issues. From stress to relationship issues, it can be easy for anger to bottle up inside of you. There are many principal complications that make an individual more susceptible to anger.

Some triggers for anger include:

  • Alcoholism 

  • Drug Dependency Issues

  • Grief

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

  • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

  • Bipolar Disorder

  • Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

  • Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Experiencing uncontrollable anger is not a comfortable situation, and dealing with the side effects of that emotion may be even more excruciating. If you or a loved one are in this predicament often, it is advised to seek the assistance of an anger management therapist.

Before we get into exactly when it may be helpful to seek anger management counseling, it is important to know what anger management therapy is. 

black man and white woman sitting on chairs and talking

What is Anger Management Therapy?

If you find yourself angry often or experience your anger very intensely, speaking to an anger therapist can help. Anger management counseling helps you control your emotional and physiological response to your anger. Many times, you cannot control the incident that is triggering your anger, but you can control your response. An anger management counselor can help you identify your triggers and learn to cope with them more successfully.

The primary goals of anger management therapy include:

  • Reducing demanding or anger-igniting situations

  • Enhancing your self-control

  • Learning how to express your feelings in a healthy, constructive way 

Some simple yet effective steps that may be taken in anger management therapy are:

  1. Pinpointing your triggers and responses - Anger management counseling gives you the opportunity to explore the triggers that contribute to your anger issues. While examining current and past triggers, you will also examine your response and the consequences of your actions. 

  2. Learning coping mechanisms to beneficially deal with your anger - Anger management therapy provides you with strategies to stop your anger in its tracks through either avoidance or distraction. From role-playing opportunities to learning relaxation techniques, your anger management counselor can offer helpful tips.

  3. Changing your thought patterns and overall attitude - Anger therapy gives you the chance to restructure how you think, especially if you are working in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). You can learn how to study your attitudes and thinking patterns to identify common occurrences. For instance, you may have a habit of constantly judging yourself or others. When you examine that, you may find that your tendency to judge triggers your anger. Your anger management therapist will also recommend an alteration in your reactions, encouraging compassion and forgiveness. 

Benefits of anger management counseling include:

  • Developing coping skills

  • Pinpointing triggers

  • Altering your thinking patterns

  • Learning relaxation techniques (e.g., deep breathing)

  • Solving problems

  • Enhancing communication

Overall, anger management therapy can improve many areas of your life, encompassing:

  • Career

  • Relationships

  • Mental health

  • Physical health 

concerned woman looking at another woman who's yelling

Signs You Need Anger Management:

  1. You Feel Angry Often

When you constantly live in a state of anger, you may not even notice how often you are angry. In other words, anger is a normal state for you. For example, you may find that the smallest thing ticks you off. Not only is this a sign that there is a deeper issue, but it is not healthy for your emotional or physical well-being. 

2. Blaming Others 

When an issue comes up, it may be your first response to push the blame on someone else. When you feel like you have been wronged, it can be enraging. It is easy to pass the blame when you behave poorly. If you find yourself blaming others for your problems, it may be a sign that speaking to an anger management therapist is a good decision.

3. Getting Verbally and Physically Abusive

It is essential to analyze how you express your anger. Do you find yourself yelling? Do you punch a hole in the wall? Do you verbally or physically attack people? If you find that your reactions are too extreme, attending anger management counseling can stop you from engaging in abusive behaviors.

4. Feeling Out of Control

When dealing with anger, you must be mindful of how you react. Instead of letting your anger control you, flip the script. If you find yourself lashing out, an anger management therapist can help you handle your emotions in a safe, healthy manner.

5. Feeling Ill After Experiencing Anger

After feeling angry, you may experience symptoms of physical discomfort.

Physical symptoms of anger comprise:

  • Grinding teeth

  • Clenching jaw

  • Rapid heart rate

  • Headaches

  • Dizziness

  • Sweaty palms

  • Shaking

  • Trembling 

  • Stomach ache

  • Feeling hot in the face and neck

6. You Are Too Angry for the Situation At-Hand

We all feel angry from time-to-time, but feeling overly-angry towards small issues is not okay. It may be easy to laugh off this behavior, but it is a serious symptom that something larger and more serious may be brewing in the background. 

Remember, it is healthy to express your anger, but you have to be mindful of exactly how you are showcasing it. Anger is a normal emotion so it should not be pushed away. Instead, it should be addressed and dealt with. If you feel like your anger is ruining aspects of your life and negatively impacting yourself and others, it is recommended to seek the help of a licensed mental health counselor.

Victoria Scala

is the Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, looking to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.

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