It is common for a lot of adults to use alcohol or other substances as a way to socialize. Mainly, because alcohol and substances help to lower inhibitions and can help to increase the ability to be more open. Alcohol is easily accessible, and for some people, even part of cultural activities.
But for some people, that social and recreational activity of drinking or using substances becomes a problem, and can even lead to an addiction.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
To see if your substance abuse has become a problem, ask yourself the following questions:
Have you ever felt that you should cut down on your drinking or drug use?
Some substances can be physiologically addicting, which means your body becomes dependent on the drugs. As hard as you try, you just can’t stop, and you actually need more and more of that substance to get the same result because your tolerance has increased. Other substances can be emotionally and mentally addictive. The substance may provide the comfort in your life that you are seeking. You may wake up one day and tell yourself that you will stop smoking marijuana, but then you have a hard day at work and need to decompress, and continue to smoke as you did the day before.
2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking or drug use?
Have you ever had to tell someone to “worry about yourself”? Our loved ones can sometimes insert themselves into our lives where we wish they wouldn’t. If a loved one starts to bug and nag you about your drinking or drug use, it usually means they are worried. Typically there are two ways to handle the situation: you hear them out and listen to what they are saying or you argue because you don’t need them telling you what to do.
3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking or drug use?
Sometimes your drug and alcohol use can get in the way of personal obligations. You forget to pick the kids up from school or an activity, you become belligerent during a family gathering, or you get into an argument with your significant other. These events can cause feelings of guilt and shame.
4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
Have you ever heard the phrase “hair of the dog”? An old myth, with potentially some validity, is that if you have a drink after a night of heavy drinking, you will lessen the hangover effects. This is probably not a great option to ease those hangover symptoms if you are heading into work, spending time with the kids, or have other important obligations.
When your body becomes addicted to alcohol and you try to stop drinking, you may experience anxiety and your hands shaking uncontrollably. These are symptoms of withdrawal. One way to stop the shaking and cover up that anxiety is to pick up a drink. The other option is to seek help.
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, your substance abuse may have become a problem.
How Therapy Can Help:
It’s important to remember that everyone responds to alcohol and drugs differently. Your friend or significant other may be able to drink just one glass of wine with dinner, while you may not be able to stop at just one, two, three glasses, or even just 1 bottle. Your close family and/or friends may not understand why you can’t stop with just 1 or 2 drinks.
Talking to a therapist about your relationship with alcohol and drugs can be an effective way to learn how to minimize your use or discontinue use all together.
It is important to remember that although it may be hard, honesty is going to be the best way for a therapist to work with you. There is still a lot of stigma surrounding alcoholism, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse. Due to that stigma, you may have been minimizing or justifying your drinking and drug use for months, or even years. Therapy is a space that encourages openness and honesty, with no judgments.
Therapy can help you identify why you may be struggling with substances. Some of those factors include:
Environmental factors- You may have seen your family or friends around you drinking or using drugs from an early age
Genetic factors- Although we now understand there is so much more to addiction than having a parent who struggled with addiction, genetics is still a strong factor.
Emotional or traumatic events- alcohol and drugs can be a temporary fix to cope with anxiety, depression, loneliness, and traumatic experiences.
Peer pressure- Adolescents, and even adults, can be pressured to feel the need to fit in with friends and family who are drinking or using drugs.
Prescription drugs- You may have been prescribed painkillers after a surgery or due to a chronic illness. There are much stricter laws in place to limit the possibility of becoming physically addicted to opiate and prescription pills/ painkillers, but it still happens as these are one of the most addictive group of drugs.
How You can Start the Process of Sobriety and Recovery:
Everyone’s recovery process is different. It is important for you to find what works for you, and work it! Weekly therapy is a great way to begin to find your process. Working with a therapist can help you to identify your triggers and assist you in developing healthy tools to cope with the addiction.
For many, attending 12 step meetings or other self-help/ mutual help meetings is effective and encouraged in addition to therapy. There are many different meetings in the Hoboken/ Jersey City area. Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), and SMART Recovery meetings are some of the most widely attended meetings, and it is a healthy way to begin to meet individuals who may be struggling with similar problems that you are experiencing. Throughout therapy and the formation of a sober support network, you can work to improve your mental health and ability to live life on life’s terms, one day at a time!
Michele Passman, LCSW
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping adults with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and life transitions through counseling. Michele can help NJ residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
